Laying my Cards on the Table.
I had no idea what to expect the first time I cracked open a tarot deck. What on earth was I doing? There is nothing remotely woowoo about me that I should have a tarot deck in my hand. Yet I found myself in one of 'those' shops filled with black candles, handmade creams and teas, interesting clothing mostly in black, gothic styles and pens shaped like leg bones. I bought one of those. I feel it elevates everything I write to the level of interestingly witchy. I ventured into the shop because I have an interesting and unusual friend and she is into tarot and because my life is painfully dull and I am dull right along with it I thought, why not spice things up a bit and buy a tarot deck? I felt quite naughty, like I was coloring outside the lines. I liked it. It felt new and unknown.
First deck was Dark Wood Tarot by Sasha Graham, illustrated by Abigail Larson. I had no clue what to look for in a deck. Fortunately the shop had many open decks for people to look through and I did like the art style (my tastes have since changed). So that dek and the leg bone pen came home with me.
I live in a small, rural, Canadian town and the library had few books on tarot. I read all the books I could get through the library, even ordered a few in from distant branches. I purchased a tarot book. It's hard to know which are good and which not so much. I did research beforehand but taste in books is like taste in art and decks, to each their own. I bought a couple more decks and read the LWB that came with each. This took quite some time, well over a year and slowly a pattern emerged. A pattern where I looked at a card, read the meaning and thought, get out of here! Some cards and their prescribed meanings, okay, fine, not so bad, I can get on board. But others? No. No. Just no.
It might help to know that I sometimes go with the flow. Until I think the flow is stupid, or it violates some code I hold dear and then the flow can flow off and I'll go over here, on my own, in my own direction. I have frustrated other tarot readers who have listened to me interpret a card and then, while waving the LWB at me told me I am doing it wrong. Wrong? I see no tarot police. I have heard of no wrong tarot charges being laid or fines being imposed. In fact there was a time when Bad Things would happen to tarot readers and their ilk and that those things no longer happen is a bonus and win! So do I need to submit myself to some new rule maker who gets to decree the rules and laws of tarot reading - a new form of tarot tyranny? No I do not. I reject the book wavers and finger waggers and tarot gatekeepers that I have encountered. They likewise reject me because I frustrate them. I make the system messy. The Little White Book is now the Little MY Book - I write it as my gut, my intuition, my inner High Priestess leads me.
In no way do I consider myself remotely qualified to do a reading for anyone. With the few people I practice on (friends who love me and must submit to my whims) I declare outright that I do not and cannot tell their future and neither can a deck of cards. Their future is in their own hands, determined by their own choices. However, the tarot can help them hone in on and focus on issues that maybe they are not seeing or deliberately ignoring. The tarot can highlight an area that really needs their attention and consideration. Out of respect for every individual's autonomy I always make it clear that what they do is up to them. But if they are feeling a little hung up, the tarot might nudge them in the right direction and if someone asks for a reading, it is likely safe to assume that a nudge is what they're looking for.
I keep notes, as flashes of insight occur to me. Sometimes my excitement at having a tarot breakthrough overwhelms me and I start blabbing to my husband, who glazes over and appears to enter a state of suspended animation as I talk tarot. Like I glaze over when he tells me how he's rebuilding a transmission. I hope to use this blog space as a place to jot out my unorthodox tarot observations and interpretations. I don't know who could possibly benefit from looking in on my random thought process. Me, I suppose. The entries will have no order, will be largely incoherent and probably contradict each other. I reserve the right to be all those things. I am happy to share these thoughts with anyone who braves the chaos in my head. Welcome! And ye be warned!
5 Comments
Recommended Comments
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now