A ritual using the tarot and the moon to work on personal boundaries

[Raggydoll]

This is a three-part ritual for working on personal boundaries. I have designed it so that it follows the lunar cycle, but you are free to change things up to better fit your style of practice.

 

But first I want to start off with some quotes from the Many Moons Workbook (2018 Vol 1: March 24th, “The beauty of boundaries”):

 

“Good, consistent boundaries make you feel at home anywhere. Boundaries act as safe spaces and help manage your emotions and energy. A boundary is a fact about what you require. Boundaries are reasonable preferences and needs that help you feel seen and respected. Boundaries can include the physical, the material, the mental, the emotional, the sexual, and the spiritual. Oftentimes, boundaries are referred to as something to only utilize with other people, but a great place to start is with yourself.

 

You can define what you need to give to yourself. This could include habits, behaviours, affirmations and treatments. Clear ways to tell if it is time to have a boundary check-in is if you feel out of control, resentful, angry for little or no reason at all, or are exhausted.

 

Expressing these boundaries kindly and clearly with others you care about can be very helpful to all parties involved. Almost no one is a mind reader. Communicating our needs kindly and clearly is a sign of strength and care to those in our lives we love.”

 

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I wanted this ritual to stretch over a full lunar cycle (29 days, approximately), and here is how I planned it:

 

Part one takes place during the waning moon (this phase starts a couple of days after the full moon and ends with the balsamic phase which is the dark phase just before the new moon). This is the phase that deals with the core issue, the unhealthy habits and the baggage from the past. Habits like always saying "yes" to helping other people, or not expressing your own needs and what you want out of the relationship. Of always being the giver and never the receiver. Or letting people talk to you in disrespectful ways. Basically, anything that you want to banish or decrease is good for this particular phase.

 

Part two takes place during the dark phase and stretches over the dark moon/new moon (basically the whole period where the moon is  invisible in the sky, plus the very first days where only a tiny sliver of light is seen). This is the shortest period and it deals with the present, the practical plan and the actions you are taking to change things around. It is when you actually make the break; when you burn away the old to make room for the new.

 

Part three starts with the waxing moon (a couple of days after the New Moon) and ends with the full moon. I chose to end my ritual on the full moon because that is the big climax for me. It is the time when everything is possible and when you have the power to manifest and solidify all that you have worked for. It is the phase to make your new habits stick, so to speak. (I know that not everyone sees the different moon phases like I do, so please feel free to do any alterations to make this ritual resonate more with you!)

 

I have also chosen three Focus cards (one for every phase) that will go on my altar (or in a safe/sacred place) for the whole of that particular phase. On top (or below  :) ) those focus cards I have also added a total of nine cards (three per focus card) to delve more deeply into the things I feel I want to work with. It was the process of choosing these cards that meant the most to me, because it forced me to get my thoughts in order and really explore this issue. These cards are meant to elaborate and pinpoint all the key aspects of your situation.

 

I strongly encourage you to pick your own cards. That will make this ritual much more effective for you. Make it personal so that it can become a part of you. Because it is inside of you where all the magic and real potential lie.

 

PART ONE

 

For part/phase one I have chosen Octopus (from Animal Spirit Oracle). The Octupus represents the archetype of unhealthy boundaries for me. It is not necessarily how I see myself or my surroundings, it merely symbolizes the shadow side of relationships and lack of independence. The guidebook talks about how the octopus is well-intended, interested and engaged, but still ends up with messy relationships. They get tangled into other peoples business and tend to over-share their own personal stuff. Dealing with these people can be draining. They can be needy and clingy. They lack courage and direction. And they obviously do not notice or respect other peoples boundaries (which also means that the do not put up any boundaries for themselves either).

 

The three other cards I picked for this part were: Ten of Wands, Six of Pentacles and Two of Swords (from the Sasuraibito tarot). This basically describes how I feel when my boundaries are not where they need to be or when they are being downright disrespected. Ten of Wands is the classical “I have a hard time saying no because I want to be nice and helpful” that really isn’t fair on anyone. The Six of Pentacles in this deck has a very special energy to me. It is not about money or time, it is about how you give of yourself – of your energy and your essence. The Two of Swords is my indecision and how I have been struggling with finding motivation to deal with this.

 

[Raggydoll]

PART TWO

 

For part/phase two I have chosen The Moon (from Sasuraibito tarot) as my focus card. This is not your typical Moon card and that is exactly why I have chosen it. It represents the beauty of emotional release. It is the moment when you look to the night sky and all those twinkling stars puts you and your struggles into perspective. It gives you hope but it also helps you to really grasp the reality of it all. At least that is how I feel. The night sky makes me think about life and death – about the grandness, the vastness – but also about how there is no time to be wasted. My life is here and now, and it is precious. So very precious.

 

Here is a quote from the Tarot of the Four Elements guidebook that really resonated with me:

“We must remember that as small as we are in the universe, our bodies hold the same minerals, atomic structure, and elemental components that exist in the stars and spiral galaxies that compose our greater home. We are truly one with the cosmos”

 

The other three cards that I have chosen for this phase is: Eight of Cups, Wheel of Fortune and Six of swords. I did not base my choice on traditional tarot meanings but on the actual depictions and the energies that these specific cards bring out for me. So if I had been working with another deck it is almost guaranteed that I would have chosen completely different archetypes. I really resonate with these three cards for this particular phase. The eight of cups is the actual process of cutting away the old. The wheel of fortune shows how I start to finally listen to my inner compass. And the six of swords is my breakthrough: where I allow myself to leave the baggage behind and make myself a real priority.

[Raggydoll]

PART THREE

 

For part/phase three I have chosen “Boundary/ Aconite” from The Pythia Botanica Oracle as my focus card. I will quote the guidebook as I feel that it is very poetic and poignant:

 

“Aconite is Boundary, either meant to dissolved horizons or establish safe margins of personal interaction. While ambiguous in purpose, there are vital forces among your borders to address. Admit them or cast them out, there is a grave line drawn you must confront”.

 

This card represents how boundaries are not something you work on once, but how you must keep honoring them for as long as you wish to have personal interactions!

 

The three other cards I chose were: Nine of Pentacles, Nine of Cups and Three of Cups (also from Sasuraibito tarot). This is the holy trinity for me, as far as this topic goes. I want to have time to be free, independent and to nourish and appreciate myself – because I know that it is that work that will lay the foundation for having happy relationships and healthy boundaries. There really is no other way for me to go about this. I must start with myself first, so that I will have something to bring to my relationships. And I need to be in balance so that I also feel equipped (and entitled) to receive the support, appreciation and love that my friends want to give back to me.

 

 

[Raggydoll]

Some additional thoughts:

 

Apart from featuring cards on my altar I will also journal and contemplate. There will be crystals and other powerful tools that I will chose intuitively for every phase. The crystals that you see featured on the picture below are: Garnet, snow flake obsidian, and strawberry quartz. The first two are ones that I feel will strengthen my boundaries on a very basic level. The last one is for the heart chakra and self-love. Again, these are just some crystals that resonated with me. You should always go with what you feel drawn to!

 

I will most likely also perform some spellwork to aid this whole process, but this is not something that I have decided on yet. Most of my spells are made up intuitively in the moment and I do not have any ‘formula’ that I use or any books that I turn to. I just make things up from scratch as I have found this to be the most effective way for me. But I am not at all against sharing spells or ideas, I think it is super interesting to see how other people work their Craft!

 

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Take it to another level:

 

This is where you go all in and start tapping into your whole arsenal of magical witchyness. You could evoke spirits/goddesses/animal guides/servitors to aid you. You could make a spell bottle or craft a talisman that aligns with your purpose. You could chant and use words of power. You could build up energy and release it into your cards. Perhaps channel archetypes from the cards whose energies you want more of (or that you simply want access to).. You could also add the Death card and place it on top of the cards that represents what you want to release. You can bind those cards together with some string and then have a releasing ritual where you remove the string (and perhaps burn it during the dark moon). Really, the sky is the limit here. And I would very much like to hear any ideas and thoughts that you all have, whether it is about boundaries, how to chose cards and archetypes to work with, or if you have more ideas for elaborating or modifying things. 

[Albadawn]

Really helpful and interesting ritual, @Raggydoll! This is an area I’m working on just now, loads of food for thought here. I’d be most interested how you’re doing almost a year on from your post! Are you finding it easier to maintain your boundaries now? 🙂

[Raggydoll]

22 minutes ago, Albadawn said:

Really helpful and interesting ritual, @Raggydoll! This is an area I’m working on just now, loads of food for thought here. I’d be most interested how you’re doing almost a year on from your post! Are you finding it easier to maintain your boundaries now? 🙂

Thank you! And YES! Lots have happened since, and my boundaries are much clearer and stronger 😀

[Albadawn]

46 minutes ago, Raggydoll said:

Thank you! And YES! Lots have happened since, and my boundaries are much clearer and stronger 😀

That’s great to hear! 

[Delta]

This is a great idea @Raggydoll. Have you done any more? Did you find it helpful?

I was looking for some rituals to connect with the moon phases. I always find myself surprised "oh it's the full moon tomorrow". 🙂

I guess this is a good starting point as it's the waning moon. 🌗

[Raggydoll]

7 hours ago, Delta said:

This is a great idea @Raggydoll. Have you done any more? Did you find it helpful?

I was looking for some rituals to connect with the moon phases. I always find myself surprised "oh it's the full moon tomorrow". 🙂

I guess this is a good starting point as it's the waning moon. 🌗

My magical workings are quite different these days. I’d say that I’ve gone back to my roots, and I do things more like my family/ancestors did. The moon is still important to me, I observe it in the sky when I can and it does have an impact on what I do. 
 

If you want more inspiration then maybe this will be of interest https://www.thetarotforum.com/forums/forum/110-30-days-working-with-the-moon-spreads/