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Night Shade's Lair

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DAY 7 - WAXING CRESCENT 🌒

 

THEME: Building & expanding

 

DECK USED: Hanson-Roberts

 

1. The foundation that is now solid enough for me to start building upon - Knight of Cups

 

The Knight of Cups relates to the way I show and give love.  I'm at the point in my life where giving love is starting to feel more important than receiving it.  I used to hide my feelings, for fear of being rejected, but now I want to wear my heart on my sleeve, and let people know how much I love, care for, and appreciate them, whether or not that love is returned.  I want my love to uplift, inspire, and empower, and most importantly, I want the people I love to feel like someone understands them.  I still have a ways to go in my quest to love more spiritually and selflessly, but I believe that I am moving forward.

 

2. A glimpse of what could possibly be achieved - 6 of Swords

 

The 6 of Swords promises that if I allow myself to love freely and selflessly, I'll be able to help lead the ones I love out of their troubles.  So many times other people have lifted me out of sadness, or given me a helping hand when times were tough - now I want to be the one to help.  Whether it's helping someone feel better about themselves and giving them hope about whatever situation they may be facing, an act of service to help better someone's life, or just walking beside a loved one and holding their hand, I want my love to make a difference.  

 

3. A good strategy to accomplish this - 9 of Swords

 

I will never be able to give pure, true, healing love to anyone else if I don't first heal the hurt and sorrow in my own heart.  So the first thing I need to do is perform an act of self-love.  I need to mourn all of the pain and loss in my life one final time, then release it and bid it farewell.

 

Nines are connected to the Hermit, and as I've mentioned before I have a lot of Hermit energy.  I can be pretty internally focused (okay, self-absorbed), and I noticed that the woman on the card seems the same way.  Now, it's perfectly all right to focus on yourself, especially if you're going through a lot.  But focusing on your troubles sometimes only magnifies them, and blinds you to the equal (if not worse) suffering that others are going through.  So if I want my love to be of service (and help myself in the process) I need to stop looking at myself and start looking around for someone to show love to.

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DAY 8 - FIRST QUARTER, WAXING MOON 🌓

 

THEME: Money & Prosperity

 

DECK USED: Gilded Tarot

 

1. The attitudes and choices that will aid me in attracting prosperity - The Magician

 

The Magician is associated with the number one and the self.  This means that I'm solely responsible for bringing prosperity into my life.  Through my power and will, I can manifest all that I need.  That is, as long as I take some kind of action.  The Magician doesn't just sit around and hope for things to happen, he gets out there and makes them happen.  He creates his own reality, and so must I.

 

The Magician can use anything and everything at hand to make the magic happen (and this is a lesson in itself), but his greatest tool is his self-confidence that borders on arrogance.  I've mentioned in other readings that self-confidence is a challenge for me.  I think I need to toot my own horn every once in awhile, and celebrate the smallest accomplishments like they're major victories, until my mind believes that I can do anything I set out to do.  In other words, fake it until I make it!   :biggrin:

 

Of course, a prosperity spell or two wouldn't hurt either! (casting a spell is an action) :wink:

 

2. A potential source of wealth that has been previously overlooked - The Sun

 

This was kind of a tough one, but I think it means that I've discounted the power of simply being positive and enthusiastic.  In hindsight, I realize that I've missed out on or rejected many opportunities because I pessimistically believed that they would never work out, or I just couldn't get myself to care enough to take advantage of them.  Maybe adopting a sunny disposition and more optimistic attitude will make me more open to seizing any fortuitous opportunities that come along.

 

The Sun is number 19, which reduces down to 10, which reduces down to 1, so more 1 energy is at play here.  I think this means I've been overlooking my own personal potential to bring wealth into my life.  I need to blow away my clouds of self-doubt, and shine the light on my talents and abilities that will lead me to prosperity.

 

Finally, I don't see wealth as being merely material - I believe that you can be spiritually wealthy as well.  Happiness, family, friendship - these are all sources of wealth that I've downplayed or taken for granted.  Appreciating and celebrating these thing would bring me an instant increase in abundance.

 

3. What I will need to tackle in my journey toward abundance - The Moon

 

In order to take the next steps on my journey, I'll have to cut through the fog of mistaken ideas I have about abundance.  Things like "there's only so much money to go around" or "only the chosen few can become wealthy" that have held me back from even trying.  Then there's my fear of failure that completely paralyzes me.  To be honest, these things have been plaguing me for most of my life, so tackling them will be a challenge indeed.

 

The Moon card also warns me not to stay stuck in the realm of only dreaming about prosperity.  visualizing my goals is fine, and I believe it helps to plant the seeds in the astral plane, but at some point, as I mentioned in The Magician, I'll have to do some work to reach my goal.  The Moon is associated with Pisces, and I'm a Pisces, so stepping out of the dream world is doubly hard for me :laugh:

 

Finally, The Moon is number 18, which reduces down to 9, the number of The Hermit.  If you've been following along with these readings, you know I have an abundance of Hermit energy.  I'd much rather hole myself up and contemplate spiritual matters than go out into the world and actually get something done.  If I'm ever to achieve abundance, I'll have to channel my inner Magician and bathe in the light of my inner Sun to motivate me to get moving.

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DAY 9 - WAXING GIBBOUS 🌔

 

THEME: Confidence & Authenticity

 

DECK USED: Celtic Dragon Tarot

 

1. A truth that can set me free - Ace of Cups

 

I see the Ace of Cups first and foremost as representing self love, so this was an extremely empowering card to receive in this position.  It's a reminder that I never have to feel unloved, because I can choose to love myself.  I want this self-love to grow and grow until it fills me up and spills out of me, transforming into unconditional love for everyone around me.

 

The Ace of Cups also hints that I have more love and friendship around me than I realize - I just haven't recognized it yet.  It tells me to open my heart to all this positive, loving energy, and let it set me free from sadness and despair.

 

Finally, the Celtic Dragon card pictures four baby dragons who have just been hatched.  This made me realize that if I don't like the way my life is going, I can reinvent myself at any time, and give myself a fresh new start.

 

2. A key to my authentic self - 7 of Swords

 

My authentic self is apparently a criminal.  Well, when I was a kid I wanted to be Catwoman (the Julie Newmar version).  I loved the way she would have her henchmen fight Batman for her, while she would sit there and paint her nails or something.  But I digress.

 

So, how to look at this card in an empowering way?  I think it's saying that my authentic self is someone who can take what they want for their life, even if by rights they shouldn't be able to have it.  There have been many times when I achieved something that no one (including myself) believed I ever could, or when I ended up in an awesome place that my circumstances never should have allowed.  The key here is to ignore the voices that tell me "you can't do it" or "you don't deserve it" or "know your place", and just go for it anyway  

 

My place is wherever I choose to be.

 

3. How I can build true confidence - The Hermit

 

The Hermit again!  This card must really have something to say to me.  I believe that this time, it's saying that to build true confidence, I'll need to look within to find the spirit of the Magician from yesterday's reading.  Once I adopt this almost arrogant attitude and apply it to my 7 of Swords soul, nothing will be able to hold me back.

 

The Celtic Dragon Hermit sits high in a tree, studying his books of lore.  When I meditated on this card, I saw him as reading all about himself.  What I need to do is get to know myself inside and out - my strengths and my weaknesses, my blessings and my flaws.  Once I've searched my soul and figured out where I excel and where I need work, I can smooth out my bad points, and nurture my good points until they've grown to their highest levels.  Becoming my best possible self will help to instill confidence in my mind and in my heart, and lend strength and power to everything I do.

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DAY 10 - WAXING GIBBOUS 

 

THEME: Gratitude and Strength 🌔

 

DECK USED: Mystical Manga

 

1. A blessing from my past (how my past experiences can be turned into a blessing or a strength) - Queen of Cups

 

I very rarely use a significator for myself in my readings, but when I do, I choose the Queen of Cups.  So I would say that the blessing from my past is everything that led me to become the person that I am today.  Sometimes I wish I could change the past, and erase all the bad experiences that I've had.  But then I realize that without those experiences, not only would my life have turned out differently, I would have turned out differently - and deep down I don't really want that.  Good or bad, I am who I am -  and I'm starting to really like me!

 

I have to add that another significant blessing from my childhood was the day I found a book on the occult at the library when I was around twelve years old.  It opened up a whole new world for me, and I knew immediately that it was where I belonged (although oddly enough, I was afraid of tarot - I thought it was going too far into the occult! 😆  If I hadn't discovered that book, I might not be on this forum today, so I'm extremely grateful!

 

2. What gratitude can teach me about my current situation - 7 of Coins

 

Remembering and being thankful for all the blessings I've had in my life reminds me that blessings show up in their own time.  By definition you can't force a blessing to come when you call, or do anything to make it happen.  It's a gift that comes to you when you least expect it.

 

The 7 of Coins reminds me of that old saying that hard work is its own reward.  My life is in a period of stasis right now.  Sometimes I'll work toward making a change, but end up seeing little to no results.  I need to realize that the changes wrought in me by my efforts are just as valuable and satisfying as the life changes that I had hoped to see.  Looking at the contented man on the Mystical Manga card makes me see that even though the changes and growth I desire are slow in coming, my life is still pretty good right now just as it is.  And that's something to be grateful for.

 

3. Where I need to be selective going forward - Ace of Coins

 

The first thing I noticed was the cornucopia of fruits and vegetables in the foreground of the card.  It immediately made me thing "eat healthier!" (it's funny, this morning I was wondering if it's safe to eat expired ramen bowls.  It's probably not safe to eat them in the first place).  

 

I also need to be more selective in how I spend my money.  I should only spend it on necessities and on things that will enrich my life, not things that I want but don't need.  This is a time to enjoy and be grateful for everything that I already have.

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DAY 11 - WAXING GIBBOUS 🌔

 

THEME: Beauty and Pleasure

 

DECK USED: Crystal Visions Tarot

 

1. The beauty that can be found in the present moment - The High Priestess

 

I think the High Priestess in this position means that the beauty to be found in this moment is the beauty inside me.  This was kind of hard for me to swallow, because I don't see myself as beautiful in any way, shape, or form.  But maybe that's the point - it's high time for me to look inside myself and find my true beauty.

 

I can also find beauty by being still, enjoying my surroundings, and letting things be.  I can relax and put my worries aside for awhile, because they don't need to be dealt with just now, and deep down I know the answers to them anyway.  Maybe I'll take a walk in the park and watch the squirrels, then rest on a bench under a tree and read a good book, or just sit and dream for awhile.  Or sit on the porch after dark and gaze at the stars and the moon.  Anything that will calm my soul and open my eyes to the beauty all around me.

  

2. How I can create or attract more beauty and pleasure in my life - The Hermit

 

The Hermit.  Again.  Hmm...what does it mean this time?  Well, I think it's reiterating the message of the High Priestess that I first need to find and acknowledge the beauty inside me.  You attract the things that you put out into the world, so if I have no beauty to give, then there will be none for me to receive in return.  So like the Crystal Visions Hermit, who sits on the edge of a cliff, shining her light down on the world, I should let my inner beauty shine on everyone I meet.

 

I think The Hermit also says that it's okay to go out and have some fun by myself.  There are plenty of things I could do (for free!), like go to a concert on the town green, or a moving screening at the library, but I always feel self-conscious going alone (I would ask my mom to join me, but she'd even more of a Hermit than I am).  But why not go and enjoy myself - I might even meet some new friends. 

 

3. The key to expressing my inner beauty - The Magician 

 

I've been getting this card a lot as well.  Once again, I'm going with the meaning of self-confidence.  I can be very jealous and insecure, and I'm always comparing myself to other people (especially other women).  Inevitably, I see myself as lacking and falling short, and end up miserable and in a bad mood - not a lot of beauty there (just the opposite in fact).  I need to stop the comparisons and focus on myself.  If there's something about myself I don't like, I have the power to change it.  More importantly, though, I should focus on the things I do like about myself - the things that make me awesome and unique - and work the hell out of them and show them off to the world!

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DAY 12 - WAXING GIBBOUS 🌔

 

THEME: Learning and inner growth

 

DECK USED: Pagan Tarot

 

1. How can I give myself the mental stimulation that I crave? - 9 of Chalices

 

The 9 of Chalices says that I can stimulate my mind by exploring the things that truly interest me, and that I've been longing to know more about.  Perhaps take some time to indulge in a new course of study (I have a nice book on Japanese mythology just waiting to be read...), or delve deeper into topics where I know the basics, but could use a bit more expertise (I'm looking at the lucid dreaming book on the shelf across the room)  Really, anything my heart desires.

 

The woman on the Pagan Tarot card is browsing in a metaphysical shop.  She has so many choices, and can pick any one of them that she wishes.  Maybe something completely new to her will catch her eye, and on a whim she'll go with that.  The spirit of curiosity that she shows is another way that I can give my mind a good workout.  Taking up a new hobby or practice that I know nothing about, or have never even heard of before will challenge my brain, and may even become a new favorite activity.

 

2. How the process of studying and learning will affect me on a deeper level - Initiate (Queen) of Wands

 

I've always believed that the journey to a goal is just as (if not more) important than the goal itself.  Accordingly, I think the greatest benefit of the process of studying and learning is that it will ignite my passion, and my enthusiasm for life.  I always get excited when I gain a new insight, so an intense search for knowledge will fire up my spirit and leave me ready to take on anything the world throws at me.

 

This process of studying will also improve my social life.  Learning new skills and improving the ones I already have will make me more self-confident, and more likely to volunteer those skills when needed, or to teach them to others.  And simply knowing more about any subject will give me something to talk about, and give me the courage to express my views and join in on conversations.

 

3. An unlikely teacher that holds great potential for me (whether it's a person, a thing, or a situation) - 7 of Swords

 

Well, we saw on Day 9 that my authentic self is a criminal - now I suppose I need to find an Artful Dodger to teach me the ways of the underworld.  Seriously though, what came to me was reading banned books, those where people would have had to sneak around in order to find a copy.  Investigating the reasons why they were banned, reading them for myself, and forming my own opinion on the matter will help me examine my ideals and values, and determine if the really fit my inner truth, or if they need to evolve.

 

The woman on the Pagan Tarot card is out hiking, when she comes across a well stocked campsite.  She doesn't seem inclined to steal anything, she's looking at it as she passes by.  This image made me think that the little things that I notice when I'm just walking along can become a catalyst for a new avenue of study.  When I think something like "oh, that's a pretty tree - I wonder what it is" I can use those thoughts as a prompt to investigate something new.

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DAY 13 - WAXING GIBBOUS 🌔

 

THEME: Friendships & Community

 

DECK USED: Fey Tarot

 

1. Something that is crucial and non-negotiable for me when it comes to personal relationships - The Wisest (The Hierophant)

 

Rather than the spiritual dictator that the Hierophant is sometimes portrayed as, I see the Hierophant more as someone who has a deep reverence for spiritual matters.  This type of attitude is crucial for anyone I would call a close friend or partner.  They don't have to be on a life-long spiritual quest, but they do have to be open to spiritual ideas (not necessarily the same as my own) and exploration.

 

Ideally, anyone with whom I would have a close personal relationship would share the same values as me.  It's not necessarily a deal-breaker, but I always wonder how close I could really be with someone whose worldview was fundamentally different from mine.  I think we could be casual friends, and we could certainly be civil to each other, but intimate friends or partners...I'm not sure.

 

2. What to do more of (the type of relationships and socializing I will thrive from - 7 of Pentacles

 

I have a bad tendency to try to rush the growth of my relationships.  The 7 of Pentacles advises me to take things slow and let them grow at their own pace.  I can put my best effort into a relationship, but then I have to let nature take it's course.  My relationships may thrive and bear wonderful fruit, or they may wither and die on the wine.  Either way, if I try to interfere with their natural progression, they won't even get off the ground.

 

The Fey Tarot card shows a fey lounging in a tree that is rooted in water rather than soil.  I think the type of relationships that suit me best are those based on deep emotional connections.  I'm a Pisces, so emotions are everything to me, and I love relating to people on a deeper level.  I just need to be careful not to let my strong emotions drown any budding relationships before the can even get started.

 

3. What to be careful of, or to do less of (negative patterns, toxic friendships, and so on) - The Stars

 

The fey on the Stars card literally has stars in her eyes.  She sees everything and everyone through the filter of stardust and glitter.  This is how I tend to view people I feel a connection with - like everything about them is shiny and bright, and they hung the stars from the sky.  I idealize them, and judge them unfairly - I expect them to live up to my impossible standards, instead of seeing them for who they really are.  Eventually the sun comes out, and I see them in the light of day - their true self, not the one that I imagined - and I realize that the relationship has been built on false assumptions.

 

 I realize this sounds like I'm saying that the other person turns out to be not good enough, and that's not what I mean at all.  I just mean that by putting them on a pedestal I put them in an unfair position.  Most of the time, they're wonderful people, but I don't see all of the amazing things that make them uniquely them because I'm too focused on my idealized vision of them.  Everyone wants to be seen for who they really are, and they don't want to have to fit themselves into someone else's mold, so the end result can only be resentment and shattered relationships.  From now on I'm going to let the people in my life shine their own light, not the light I've reflected onto them.

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DAY 14 - WAXING GIBBOUS 🌔

 

THEME: Sacred balance

 

DECK USED: Ludy Lescot Tarot 

 

1. An area where I tend to experience excess or overwhelm - 9 of Pentacles

 

Well, I don't live a life of excessive luxury, so I had to think about this one for awhile.  I finally realized that this card was saying that I indulge in too much leisure time, when I should be working to better my life and myself.  While there's nothing wrong with taking some time out to have fun and enjoy life, as today's theme says, there needs to be balance - in this case between work and play.  

 

The 9 of Pentacles is numerically connected to my friend The Hermit (he had to show up somehow, even if it wasn't directly 😄 ).  I think my Hermit energy, while it serves me well in many ways, can sometimes go a bit overboard.  I'm extremely shy, and I often like to keep my own company.  But sometimes it gets awfully lonely, and I know it's not healthy for me to be alone all the time.  I need to find a balance between solitude and socializing.

 

The Ludy Lescot 9 of Pentacles gives me a final word of warning.  The woman on the card sits on a tomb, red and black roses strewn around her.  Leisure time may start out relaxing and refreshing, but taken too far it ends up dead and dry.  When it gets to that point (or really, before) it's time to get back into the world and do something productive.

 

2. An area where I tend to experience lack or worry - The Chariot

 

The lack I see here is a lack of motivation.  Many Chariot cards feature a warrior standing tall in the driver's seat, controlling the chariot by the sheer force of their will.  On the Ludy Lescot card, however, the main figure is a girl huddled in the back of a carriage driven by an anonymous man.  She pays no attention to where she's going - it's possible that the destination isn't even of her choosing.  A bouquet of roses lies by her side, but the red roses of passion are all falling away from her - she's left only with black roses of decay.

 

I'm a lot like the girl in the carriage.  Sometimes I take the easy way out (or is it the insecure way?  or the too scared to try way?) and let life carry me along as it will.  Like her, I don't even look at (or choose to ignore?) where I'm going - I just go with the flow ( in the not positive way).  This card is a warning not to let one more bit of my passion go, and to seize the reins and take back my personal power.  My life should be in my own hands, not in those of fate or any other person's.

 

3. How I can restore my sacred balance - 2 of Pentacles

 

I think the tarot is getting a little cheeky here.  The 2 of Pentacles says that to restore my sacred balance, I need to get things in balance.  The end.  😄  Really, I think it's echoing the message of the two previous cards.  First, I need to find the right balance between work and play.  Then I need to find the inner balance that The Chariot usually suggests - between my emotions and my intellect, my light side and my dark side, my logic and my intuition.  Only them can I become my whole, sacred self.

 

The woman on the Ludy Lescot card has been crying.  She stands on her balcony, gazing out at the world with a look of longing.  I think this is a valuable clue as to how to restore my balance.  Releasing my negative emotions (I usually hold them all in) will help to balance my inner self.  Then allowing myself to long for things that seem remote and impossible (I usually stuff those desires down as well)  will motivate me to take action and go after them, helping to balance my work and play.

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Hey all.  Here is my Lunar Flower Moon reading using the Dark Fairytale Tarot

 

1. My deepest desires - 5 of Cups.

 

Apparently, my deepest desire is either to be completely miserable, or to be a vampire (those overturned cups were full of blood).  While being a vampire would be totally cool, what I think this card is saying is that I desire to overcome my sorrows, and move on from my regrets.  The vampire woman on the card looks almost defiant - she's had enough of suffering, and so have I.

 

2. What disconnects me from them? - 9 of Pentacles

 

I can never fulfill my desire of moving on from my sorrows and regrets because I never really deal with them - I just stuff them down and retreat into my magic garden of denial and avoidance.  Like the woman on the card, I lie down in my inner garden and pretend that everything is fine.  But from the look on her face, obviously everything is not fine - and it isn't with me either.

 

3. What is my feminine essence? - The World

 

So despite all my issues, my feminine essence is someone confident and competent, who can make her dreams come true and celebrate her accomplishments.  Deep inside, I have the ability to truly engage in life, and to enjoy just being alive.  The woman on the card has been crying (I can tell because her mascara is running), but she can still dance despite the pain.  This isn't denial, it's the result of acceptance and forgiveness.

 

4. How can she fully bloom? - 6 of Swords

 

I can help my feminine essence fully bloom by letting go of my pain, sorrow, and negative thinking, and moving on (hmm...that was my deepest desire, wasn't it).  Like the woman on the card, I need to look past the skulls in the water (the remnants of things past that continue to haunt me) and focus on the good things that lie ahead.

 

5. What is my masculine essence? - Queen of Swords

 

My masculine essence is someone who can go through pain and suffering and come out stronger and more determined than ever before.  He can do so because he sees the truth in every situation, and be perfectly honest with himself about the role he played in causing them.  Like the Queen on the card, he's learned from his experiences, and is fully prepared to defend himself against any future woes.

 

6. How can he fully bloom? - Queen of Cups

 

What's with the two Queens?  Do I really not have any masculine energy? (well, I'm a Pisces, what do you want?).  Anyway, I can help my masculine essence fully bloom by tempering the cold, intellectual, rational part of myself with the sensual, emotional, intuitive side of myself.  This makes me think of Mr. Spock.  His devotion to logic makes him a superlative officer, but his lack of emotions hinders him greatly in personal relationships.  If I can unite my logical side with my emotional side, then my masculine essence will live long and prosper.

 

7. sacred union to bring deepest desires to fruition - King of Swords

 

The King of Swords can gain understanding of any person or situation by viewing them through a clear, unprejudiced lens.  So he would have my feminine and masculine sides gaze into each other's souls to experience their counterpart's truth.  Let The World sit on the Queen of Sword's throne, to see things from her eagle-eyed perspective.  And let the Queen of Swords dance with The World, to see how it feels to just let loose and enjoy.  Once my masculine and feminine sides have gotten to know each other, they can work together to help me focus not on the pain of my past, but all of the good things that await me in the present and the future.  Then my deepest desire will be fulfilled.

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DAY 15 - WAXING GIBBOUS 🌔

 

THEME: Self love and personal boundaries

 

DECK USED: Dark Fairytale Tarot

 

1, My experiences and beliefs around self love and self worth - Queen of Swords

 

This is right on the mark.  I am extremely self-critical, and find it hard (if not impossible) to love myself unless I'm doing and getting everything right.  Even when I do achieve a foal, I pick apart everything I did leading up it, constantly finding fault with every decision or move I made.  And my self worth: non-existent.  I'm far to harsh with myself, and never cut myself any slack, which leaves me feeling unworthy.

 

I think part of the problem is that I view myself through an analytical "just the facts, please" lens, which doesn't allow any room for self-compassion.  If I make a mistake, there's no place for forgiveness or understanding - I'm just a failure.  If I make the wrong decision, I don't say to myself "okay, I can learn from this and do better next time", I say "you are a complete moron and shouldn't even be let out of the house".  I know this is wrong thinking, but it's become an ingrained pattern that seems impossible to break.

 

2. Where I would benefit from clarifying or strengthening my personal boundaries - 9 of Wands

 

Hmm.  The 9 of Wands is all about strengthening personal boundaries in the first place, so is this card saying that if I strengthen my boundaries, the only benefit I'll receive is stronger boundaries?  Actually, I think that is the answer.  The wall that I've already built around myself is so tall and wide that you'd need a tank to break through it.  Anything more would just be pointless overkill - and it would probably lead to complete paranoia, delusion, and total isolation (oh look - there's my old friend The Hermit again.  Hi Hermie).  Not so beneficial, unless I want to go completely insane.

 

Not exactly the most promising reading so far, is it?

 

3. Something loving that I can do to honor and nourish myself on a deep level - 2 of Cups

 

This card made absolutely no sense at first.  How could a card that by definition involves another person be something that I could do for myself?  When I studied the card, however, I figured it out.  It shows a male and a female angel standing together - they're so close, they're almost one being.  Only one wing from each is showing - her's is light, his is dark, and together they make the shape of a heart.  I think this card is telling me that to honor and nurture myself I need to love and embrace all of my dichotomies.  My masculine side and my feminine side, my dark side and my light side, the part of me that gets it right and the part of me that misses the mark.  Only then can I even begin to start loving myself.

 

By the way, before I figured this card out, I pulled a clarity card to help me out.  It was The Devil.  So maybe what the 2 of Cups means is that I should devote myself to Satan (I know what you're thinking - "haven't you already done that?").  Well, I am looking for my true spiritual path....

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DAY 16 - FULL MOON 🌕

 

THEME: Magic, potential, & power

 

DECK USED: Universal Goddess Tarot

 

1. What special type of magic an I called to perform or experience right now? - 6 of Pentacles

 

Well, I could always use more money, so perhaps a prosperity spell to make wealth fall into my hands is in order!  The 6 of Pentacles means so much more than that, however, and the first meaning that comes to me is having a spirit of generosity.  In the past, I haven't been a very generous person, not with my money (although to be fair, I've never had much to give) nor with my time.  I want to change that, however, because I think I'd be much happier with myself, and closer to the person who I want to become, if I learn to share what I have with others.  So the magic to be made here is imply to perform acts of service.  Offer to help whenever I can, spend more time focusing on others, and less time focusing on myself and what I want and need, and making myself available to listen if someone needs a sympathetic ear.

 

Another meaning I see in the 6 of Pentacles is having a spirit of humility.  I don't think I'm a very prideful person (although it's possible that I just don't see it), but I can be stubborn, and I don't like asking for help - I'd rather figure things out for myself.  I'm starting to do better in this regard, but a magical act of kindness I could perform on myself would be to seek out support whenever I'm in over my head, instead of trying to be Wonder Woman.

 

2. How can I amplify my abilities to receive and manifest - 3 of Wands

 

In order to manifest the things I wish to receive, I have to first take some kind of action to set things in motion.  Whether casting a spell, or instigating a well thought out plan, without that first spark of creation, nothing will ever happen.

 

Then comes the waiting for results period, which is extremely difficult for me to bear because I am not a patient person.  Spell work or hard work, I'm often tempted to try to find some way to rush things along (even though one of the first rules of magic is to try to forget about a spell once you've performed it).  But by doing this, I'm potentially sabotaging all of the effort that I put into my project.  I need to remember the advice of the 7 of Pentacles (which I've gotten before in these readings) and let things happen in their own timing.

 

3. One of my most magical gifts or powers - 8 of Wands

 

Okay, remember how I just said that I try to hurry things along, and that it was probably a bad idea?  Well, my magical gift is that it sometimes works.  Once in awhile, I'll stray from the path I've so meticulously laid out, and it will turn out to be a shortcut to my goal. (I say this like I'm striving for goals left and right.  Yeah, not so much).  I don't know why it works, I'm just grateful that it does.

 

The goddess on this card is Flora, who, according to the LWB, is the Roman goddess of flowering.  Flowers spring up upon her and around her, as if by magic.  This brings me to another one of my gifts: sometimes it seems as though I have the ability to manifest my desires without even trying - they just show up.  It's almost as though just wishing for them makes them so.  Of course this doesn't happen every time, but when it does it always amazes me.  Perhaps I cast my intentions out into the Universe without even realizing it, and the Universe delivers them.  Again, I'm just grateful.

 

In case anyone is interested, the goddess on the 6 of Pentacles was Acca Larentia (Roman), and the goddesses on the 3 of Wands were the Horae (greek)

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DAY 17 - WANING GIBBOUS

 

THEME - Sensuality & Physical Pleasures 🌖

 

DECK USED - Tarot of the Nymphs

 

1. How I can have a more loving communication with my body - 9 of Pentacles

 

I mentioned in a previous reading that I need to find a better balance between my work time and my leisure time.  However, the 9 of Pentacles says that when leisure time comes around, it's okay to fully immerse myself in it and indulge myself.  Now, this doesn't mean that I can eat an entire container of Haagen-Dazs White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle ice cream (not that I've ever done that...yeah right, who do I think I'm fooling).  But it does mean that I can give myself a few little treats that delight my five senses, to reward my body for all the hard work it does, and to let it know that I appreciate it.  Again, though, moderation is the key - too much indulgence and I could easily go from showing appreciation to my body to abusing my body.

 

2. A key to fully exploring and understanding my sacred sensuality - 6 of Wands

 

Frankly, I'm starting to get a bit uncomfortable with today's theme, so I'm going to keep it brief.

 

I do not have the perfect body.  Not. Even. Close.  But maybe the 6 of Wands means that I should take honor it and take pride in it anyway.  It's the only body I have, and it does serve me well, so, as I said with the 9 of Pentacles, I should let it know how much I appreciate it.  And even though I'm not a size 2, I'm just as good as anyone else.  I can still be a sensual person - having confidence can help me greatly in that regard, and may even gain me a few admirers

 

3. Ways in which I can generate even more physical pleasure in my life - The Chariot

 

Okay - seriously uncomfortable now.

 

I had no idea what The Chariot was supposed to mean, unless it's saying that I should travel to the store for some more Haagen-Dazs (or maybe Ben & Jerry's Karamel Sutra would be more appropriate).  Then I found some meaning from the picture on the card.  Two nymphs sit in the water while a man approaches in his boat - they look like sirens trying to lure him into their net.  So maybe I should use my feminine wiles (Ha! - like I have any!) any try to lure some nice, guileless sucker guy into my lair and then...oh you know what, I'm done.  Use your imagination. 🧜‍♀️ ⛵

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DAY 18 - WANING GIBBOUS 🌖

 

THEME: Honesty and Introspection

 

DECK USED: Secret Tarot

 

1. What needs to happen before I can start to delve deeper into myself - 9 of Pentacles

 

First, the 9 of pentacles asks me to be honest with myself about what I want from my time of introspection.  Do I truly want to delve deep inside, to find and confront all my hard, painful truths?  Or would I prefer to stick to sugar-coated, shallow revelations, the kind you might get from reading a self-help book.  If I do find the courage to take the first path, I have to make sure to find the determination to see it through.

 

Next, before I can explore my inner realm, I need to become relaxed and comfortable with myself.  As I mentioned before, inner work can be painful, especially if you uncover truths about yourself that you would rather not see.  If I try to go through this process without self-love and self-acceptance, then what I find might send me over the edge.  But if I approach the journey with love for myself in my heart, then my heart will be a safe space for my mind to process the discoveries I make.

 

2. Something I will have to be real and honest about if I am to make true progress - 3 of Swords

 

Sometimes I gloss over how much certain things have hurt and wounded me.  I say to myself "oh, it was no big deal" or "I'm completely over that", when in reality these things continue to haunt me deep down inside.  So this is the first thing I need to be honest about - how much there is inside me that still needs to be healed.  If I'm not honest about this, and keep pretending that everything is fine, then what's the point of doing inner work anyway?

 

Another thing I must be honest about (and this one is even harder) is the pain I've caused other people, and the role I played in causing my own pain.  It's not enough to just say "I've been hurt and need to be healed", I need to dig down to the roots of the why and the how, even if I was the one who poisoned those roots in the first place.  And I can't only focus on healing myself - I need to take what I learn and use it to help heal others.

 

3. A treasure that is to be gained from my efforts - The Hermit

 

Guess who!  He's back with another message for me.  This time, I feel he's telling me that I'll gain a wealth of insights and understanding on those why and how questions I mentioned earlier.  Not whiny questions like "why me?" or "how could this happen?", but rather questions like "why do I feel this way?" or "how did I contribute to this situation?" that will help me to move on to a more positive way of being.

 

I really like the Secret Tarot Hermit card.  This Hermit isn't just standing still on a mountaintop, he's walking along in the night.  This is a wonderful reminder that when I'm going through a dark night of the soul, I don't have to stay stuck in place.  I can take whatever I'm going through and use it as a catalyst to move forward in my journey of self-discovery.

 

Finally, The Hermit reminds me that the only one who will ever fully know me is me, and I'm the only one who can provide the answers I seek.  I think this understanding will be one of the greatest and most profound gifts that I will receive from my inner journeys.  

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DAY 19 - WANING GIBBOUS 🌖

 

THEME: Roots & Identity

 

DECK USED: Ancestral Path Tarot

 

I'm doing things a little differently today.

 

I decided to do this reading with the Ancestral Path Tarot, which seemed appropriate for today's theme.  But when I shuffled and drew the cards, they made absolutely no sense to me, no mater how hard I tried to interpret them.  So I shuffled and drew again.  Still nothing.  I tried several different decks.  Nothing clicked.  Finally I realized that the tarot wasn't going to give me the answer because I already knew the answer in my heart.  So what I did was turn today's reading into a self-discovery exercise, consciously choosing the cards so I could go deeper into the things that I already know to be true.  This is what I came up with.

 

1. How I perceive my roots and sense of legacy - 4 of Cups

 

A little background.  My ethnic makeup is a combination of African-American, Scotch-Irish, and German.  I grew up with my mom's family, the German/Scotch-Irish part of my heritage.  Race and ethnicity were never really a big deal in my family - through marriage, we also had Japanese, Hispanic, and Italian family members, so we were our own little melting pot.

 

This is where the 4 of Cups comes in.  As I said, ethnicity wasn't an issue in my family - in fact, it was pretty much ignored.  This had its good points and its bad points.  On the plus side, it meant I grew up without learning racial prejudices, and I was never made to feel like, well the black sheep of the family (sorry, I couldn't resist :grin:).  On the negative side, ignoring race ultimately meant ignoring my African-American heritage, so I never really got to know that part of myself, which I regret.  This leads to...

 

2. The actions or attitudes of mine that are based on my beliefs (subconscious or not) - Princess of Staves (Page of Wands)

 

I chose this card because the Page of Wands represents curiosity and, as I said, I'm very curious about my African roots, especially in terms of mythologies and spiritual beliefs and practices.  I'm thinking of doing some research on them as part of my spiritual quest, and try to incorporate some of them into what I think is going to be a very eclectic spiritual path.  I want to learn more about Celtic and German mythologies and spiritualities as well.  I know a little bit, but I really want to delve deeper into them.

 

All this being said, I don't believe that you're limited to only following the paths of your ancestors.  I believe that the gods call who they will, and if you feel drawn to a certain people's beliefs, then by all means you should explore them.  I guess growing up in such an ethnically diverse family has given me this perspective.  There are many other mythologies I plan to explore - Japanese, Norse, Egyptian, Greek, Finnish, and anything else I can find :laugh: - and hope to merge what I find into my own unique spirituality.  Which brings me to...

 

3. How I can heal or strengthen my sense of identity and belonging - Temperance

 

As is probably obvious by now, my most important identity is my spiritual one.  My mixed heritage never gave me an identity crisis, it just made me want to learn a little more about my roots.  One identity I didn't have, however, was that of belonging to a religion.  My mom isn't religious, so I didn't grow up in any tradition (despite the best efforts of my Evangelical Christian relatives), and I always felt that something was missing.

 

Now, I've replaced "religion" with "spiritual path", because I don't think that any one specific religion would suit me.  This is where the Temperance card fits in - I want to mix and match the things that resonate with me most from different traditions and beliefs, and combine them into my own personal belief system, one that's as ethnically diverse as I am.  Maybe other people won't agree with it, but that's okay, they don't have to have to.  My spiritual path belongs to me, and needs no one's approval but my own - but anyone is more than welcome to walk alongside me if they wish.

 

To anyone reading this, thank you for indulging me.  I'll get back on track tomorrow.

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DAY 20 - WANING GIBBOUS 🌖

 

THEME: Dreams & Possibilities

 

DECK USED: Universal Fantasy Tarot

 

1. What transformation an I ready and longing for? - 9 of Cups

 

Wow!  What a great card to have here!  The first message the 9 of Cups has for me is that I'm ready to become someone who's comfortable with herself.  I'm ready to move past all of my issues and insecurities and be happy being me.  Most importantly (and here's where more 9/Hermit energy comes into play), I'm ready to accept and be proud of myself no matter what anyone else in the world thinks of me.

 

This card also highlights my longing to start making my wishes come true.  I have so many hopes and dreams inside me, but my shyness and insecurities have hindered me from even trying.  I am so ready to transform into the confident woman I know I can be - one who knows what she wants, and takes no hesitation in going after it and making it happen.

 

2. How can I allow this process to take place without fear or resistance? - The High Priestess

 

The first thing I need to do is relax, be still, and just know.  Know in my heart that this transformation will happen - all I have to do is sit back and let things unfold.  Know that I have the talent and ability needed to take advantage of it and see it through.  And know that my intuition will be with me to guide me along the way.  

 

The High Priestess is another card that calls for solitude and withdraw.  I'm easily influenced by other people, and when those people don't believe in me, then I tend to stop believing in myself.  So I think I need to be really careful and selective with who I interact with once this transformation starts to take place.  If someone can only speak words of doubt and criticism about my change, then I need to step away from them and retreat to my safe space inside, where my inner voice can reassure me and encourage me.

 

3. Something I never thought was possible that is now within my grasp -  9 of Pentacles

 

This card is seriously stalking me!  Well, if I have to have a stalker card, this is a good one.  Anyway, the glamorous life is nowhere within my reach, and I'm not inclined to become a gracious, refined lady (I'm too much of a weirdo at heart :laugh: ), so I think the things in reach are self-confidence and self-reliance.  As I said, I'm easily influenced by other people, and when I have to make a decision, I tend to trust others' judgement over my own.  But I truly believe that I'm moving forward in this area, and that soon I'll start listening to my Inner High Priestess voice, instead of all the voices around me who think they know best (9/Hermit energy again).

 

As I mentioned in a previous reading, I see the 9 of Pentacles as becoming comfortable with myself.  I know that this is in reach because I'm really starting to like - maybe even to love - the person that I am, even if I am a bit different unique!  Really, that uniqueness is the best part of me - it's what makes me special.  I'm not trying to be arrogant here - everyone has something about them that makes them special.  I'm just finally embracing and celebrating those things in me - it's extremely liberating, and it feels awesome!

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DAY 21 - WANING GIBBOUS 🌖

 

THEME: Blocks and Facades

 

DECK USED: Shapeshifter Tarot

 

1. A mask that I sometimes hide behind - Strength

 

One of the many masks I put on is that of a brave face, or a stiff upper lip.  Sometimes, when I'm feeling hurt or afraid, I'll pretend that I'm okay, and that I've got everything under control, when in reality nothing could be further from the truth.  I act like I can handle things on my own, when I should probably be asking for help.

 

I also put this mask on when I'm feeling positive emotions.  For example, if I meet someone whom I'd like to be friends with, or I'm starting to have feelings for someone, I'll quickly put on a mask of calm indifference, to try to subjugate my budding desires.  Really, I'm afraid to let anyone know how I feel about anything.

 

On the Shapeshifter card, a woman and her child are shifting into bears.  I wonder if sometimes I put on a frightening mask, to try to scare people away before they can get too close to me, so I won't get hurt.  Which brings me to....

 

2. What lies at the core of this mask or facade - 5 of Pentacles 

 

Sigh...my insecurities are taking the lead again.  The mask of courage I put on stems from my fear of being vulnerable.  (interesting that the mask of courage was crafted from fear).  When I'm feeling hurt, I don't want to give those who hurt me the satisfaction of seeing me cry.  When I'm scared, I'm afraid others will mock me for my cowardice.  And when I'm struggling with something, I'm afraid to ask for help for fear I'll be seen as incompetent.  Funny, I never consider the positive responses that people might offer, only the negative ones.  As I said, I let my insecurities take the spotlight far too often.

 

The mask of indifference was forged from my fear of rejection, and even worse, rejection mixed with ridicule.  Like I said, I'm always reluctant to tell anyone how I feel about them (whether romantic or platonic) because I'm afraid of how they'll react (again, I'm always assuming the negative).  So I end up isolating myself in my frozen feelings, like the porcupine on the card, flaring my quills to keep everyone at a distance.  Hmm...I'm starting to see that my loneliness (which this card is titled) is largely my own fault.

 

3. The true light that shines behind my shadows (my gorgeous authentic self and what I will experience when I lovingly reintegrate these shadows into my wholeness) - 9 of Pentacles

 

Okay, this card stalking thing is starting to get a little scary - this is the fourth day out of five that I've gotten this card!  Anyway (and I'm starting to sound like a broken record, because there are only so many ways that I can interpret this card), my authentic self is a woman who stands strong and proud, no matter what the circumstances, or what anyone may think of her.  When I've grown enough to live as the true me, I won't fear other people's opinions, and I'll be able to speak my mind about anything and everything.  Should I be mocked, rejected, or looked down upon, it won't matter so much to me anymore, because I'll be secure in my own fabulous self, and content to pass the time in my own company (cough "hermit energy" cough) until someone who understands me and appreciates my uniqueness comes along.

 

What struck me most about this card is that the people on it aren't shapeshifting.  They don't need to put on a mask because they're satisfied with who they are.  I haven't reached this point yet, but I feel I'm well on my way.

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DAY 22 - WANING GIBBOUS 🌖

 

THEME: Insights and clarity

 

DECK USED: Vision Quest Tarot

 

1. Something that I will be able to provide unique insights on  - Daughter of Water (Page of Cups)

 

Yeah, I can tell you all about emotions! :laugh:   Especially the raw, unevolved ones that the Daughter of Water/Page of Cups represents.  I think the most important lesson I could share is that while pure, unfettered, passionate emotions may be exciting, if you don't temper them with reason, you may be in for trouble.  I can't count the number of times my emotions have led me to say foolish things that I couldn't take back.  Or when my feelings told me to follow what I believed was my true life path, only to find that it wasn't right for me at all, and in fact ended up making me miserable (I'm thinking about my brief foray into Evangelical Christianity here).  There are numerous examples I could give, the point being that uninhibited emotions are powerful things, and you have to learn to control them before they control you.

 

Now, all that being said, what would life be without a little romance?  Dream about your crush, fantasize about going off on grand adventures, and look at the world through the eyes of love.  If you just make sure you don't drown in your deep well of emotions, embracing a spirit of romance can bring great joy to your life, and can help chase away the blues when you're feeling down.

 

2. What I currently understand to be true about the greater mysteries - Torment (The Devil)

 

Well.  Isn't this an interesting card to get in this position.  I guess the first thing I would say is that you can never find enlightenment without sacrificing your innocence, and you must be completely sure you're willing to do so before you embark on a quest to uncover the Greater Mysteries.  Once you realize the Truth, your illusions may be shattered, and beliefs that once gave you comfort may be shaken to the core.  While this process may ultimately leave you with a liberated mind, if you don't think you can handle the radical change in thinking it involves, then maybe ignorance is bliss.

 

Second, I truly believe that to fully understand anything (including yourself) you have to acknowledge all sides of it, the light and the dark.  Many seekers choose to focus solely on the light, but the shadow can reveal just as much, if not more, if you have the courage to gaze into it.  Ignoring the darkness won't make it go away, and shining a light on it only makes it recede for a time.  Only by entering the darkness can you truly understand its nature and uncover its mysteries.  

 

3. An area of knowledge/understanding that is still eluding me and that I could benefit from exploring more deeply - Father of Water (King of Cups)

 

For all I said about having to control your emotions, I haven't mastered that at all (in my defense, I am a Pisces! :laugh: ).  How to stay calm, cool, and collected when my emotions threaten to sweep me away is something that would greatly benefit me, but unfortunately this knowledge has eluded me so far.  Perhaps exploring deeper meditation techniques and other coping strategies is the key.

 

Since Cups represent water, and water represents the unconscious, I think the Father of Water/King of Cups is also saying that the knowledge that would serve me best right now is a deep understanding of myself.  What motivates me, why I feel things the way I do, how the circumstances and events in my life helped shape me into the person I am today, and so forth.  Self knowledge is the greatest power of all, and will help me move forward with confidence.

 

Finally, I want to learn how to make deeper connections with other people.  I would love to have deep, meaningful relationships, but my shyness and awkwardness always get in the way.  This Father/King is the master at making connections, so studying him and his methods, along with gaining a better understanding of my emotional issues, will help me in creating the relationships I desire.

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To anyone who follows my moon readings, after today, I won't be back online until Tuesday, so I'll update them then.  

 

Until then, enjoy some Godsmack:

 

 

And some MISSIO

 

 

And some more P!ATD, because why not?

 

 

See you Tuesday!

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