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Raggydoll

Night Shade's 30 days of working with the moon

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Guest Night Shade

Thank you so much @Raggydoll!:bubble_blovekiss:

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Guest Night Shade

DAY 1 - NEW MOON 🌑

 

Theme: Planning & Planting (intention setting)

 

Deck Used: Tarot of Mermaids

 

1. The preparations required for me to make room for the new (= the thing I want to manifest) -  The Moon

What an appropriate card to begin this new journey!  and that's exactly what this card represents to me - the journey to find my true spiritual path.  I've been a spiritual dabbler, trying a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but I've never made a full commitment to any one path, or even to the spiritual path in general.  The Moon is telling me to follow my intuition to the path that's right for me.  The way may be filled with illusions and false or mistaken beliefs, but I can trust my inner knowing to guide me to my truth.

 

2. What I must do or prioritize for this seed to take root - 3 of Wands

The 3 of Wands says to make a commitment to my spiritual quest and to see it through.  As I said, I tend to be a dabbler, and I often give up when the excitement wears off, or I'm not seeing results quickly enough for my liking.  This card is telling me to see the big picture - to visualize the amazing progress I'll make in my life and myself if I follow my journey through to the end.

The mermaid on the card has a sassy little look on her face - a reminder that while a spiritual journey may be hard work, there's also a lot of fun to be had along the way!

 

3. What I may need to forsake or put on the back burner to get the results I want - 5 of Pentacles

This card spoke directly to my intuition.  It pictures one mermaid leading another, blindfolded mermaid.  For the longest time, I let my Evangelical Christian relatives lead me along their path, refusing to see what I knew in my heart was the right path for me.  I was afraid they would reject me if I went my own spiritual way, and I didn't want to face their disapproval.  Eventually I managed to take a few steps down my own path, but now it's time to break free and dance down the road.  I may alienate some people and be alienated by them in return, but I need to be free to live my truth.

 

By the way, please don't think I'm disparaging Christianity.  I'm just saying that everyone needs to follow the spiritual path that speaks to them, whatever that path may be.

 

I won't be online tomorrow, so I'll post tomorrow's reading on Monday.

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Guest Night Shade
21 minutes ago, Raggydoll said:

What a powerful start on this 30 day process! I’m really excited for you and this sacred journey of yours 💖

Thank you!  I'm excited too. :laugh:

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Guest Night Shade

DAY 2 - WAXING CRESCENT 🌒

 

Theme: Goals and choices

 

Deck Used: Goddess Tarot

 

1. The situation and the path that I am heading on - King of Pentacles/7 of Cups

 

I wasn't quite sure how to interpret the King of Pentacles in this position, so I drew a clarity card and got the 7 of Cups.  Everything clicked then, and I realized that today's reading was an extension of yesterday's reading.  Combined, these two cards show that I'm contemplating and evaluating the spiritual paths that interest and intrigue me, trying to find one to invest in and commit to.  I;\'m trying to lay down a firm foundation on which I can build a path that will lead me from the spiritual poverty of the 5 of Pentacles from my previous reading, to spiritual wealth and fulfillment.

 

2. Something I might want to consider (another approach or another option/path entirely) - 7 of Staves

 

Again, this card enhances yesterday's reading.  As I mentioned yesterday, I often turned away from and ignored my personal beliefs and spiritual leanings, for fear of being attacked and frowned upon.  But now I believe a new, better approach would be to stand up for who I am and what I believe in, and refuse to let anyone knock me off track.  It won't be easy, and I'll probably be met with strong resistance, but defending my position is the only way I'll ever be free to be who I am and live as I choose.

 

3. Advice when moving forward - 4 of Swords

 

The keywords for the 4 of Swords in the Goddess Tarot guidebook are healing, introspection, and meditation, which sum the answer up perfectly.  I'm very indecisive, and the process of choosing anything, let alone a spiritual path to commit to, can be extremely stressful and intimidating for me.  So I need to make sure to take time out for rest and meditation if I start to feel emotionally overwhelmed.  This isn't a decision to be made quickly or lightly, so taking some quiet time to myself to think things through is the best way to go.

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Guest Night Shade

DAY 3 - WAXING CRESCENT 🌒

 

Themes: Motives and motivation

 

Deck Used: World Spirit Tarot

 

I went into this reading planning to relate it to my readings for Day 1 and Day 2, and I think it worked out well.

 

1. A key to motivate myself (and keep me motivated) - 5 of Wands

 

I'm a naturally competitive person, and while I don't always use that energy in the right way, harnessed properly, it could serve me well.  The World Spirit 5 of Wands shows two men who are facing off.  They're equally matched - neither is better than the other.  This card reinforces the message of yesterday's 7 of Wands - that I have every right to stand up for my beliefs, because they're just as valid as anyone else's.  One caveat, however - the rooster strutting before the men reminds me not to let my pride turn an empowering debate into a heated argument or a shouting match.  

 

I also see this card as me standing up to myself.  Sometimes I'm afraid that my spiritual practices will literally lead me straight to Hell.  I need to give myself a good talking to, and confront the false beliefs that are leaving me stuck in a spiritual wasteland.

 

2. The attitude I will benefit from - 9 of Pentacles

 

I really love this card.  It shows a woman leaning on her windowsill, petting a cat and looking out at her garden with a contented smile.  Contentment is the attitude I need to adopt, no matter how much opposition I may face.  And I especially need to be content with myself - completely self-accepting, and unafraid of who I am.

 

I also need to be willing to live out my spirituality on my own.  As much as I would love for the people in my life to accept and support my spiritual choices, there's a good chance that they never will.  I must always remember that I can still have a rich, fulfilling spiritual life, that will make my inner garden bloom and grow, no matter what anyone else thinks.

 

3. Where I could do with some tweaking (areas for improvement) - Temperance 

 

The first interpretation of this card was obvious.  I'm a very impatient person, and I need to have more patience with everything and everyone in my life.  When I find myself in the position of having to defend my beliefs, it's crucial to remember that the other person has the right to their opinion, and that they believe what they believe as strongly as I believe what I believe.  My ultimate goal is not to convert them to my way of thinking, or to beat them down, it's to find a way we can coexist in harmony.

 

The second interpretation has to do with the process of determining which spiritual path is right for me.  I've been thinking in terms of selecting one specific path or practice.  But I'm starting to think that an eclectic path is the way to go, merging the things from various traditions that resonate the most with me into my own personal practice.  I've kinda sorta been doing this already, but I haven't put much dedication into it.  Now's the time to go all in and create my own magical way.

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DAY 4 - WAXING CRESCENT 🌒

 

Theme: Competition and comparison

 

Deck Used: Royo Dark Tarot

 

1. Areas where I tend to compare myself to others and to put myself down - 5 of Pentacles

 

I'm always comparing myself to those who have more than me, or have better than me.  I look at people who have more money than I do, or a better body, or more fulfilling relationships, and I see them as being better than me.  Which I know in my heart isn't true, but my head can'r seem to get the message.

 

The woman on the card sits crouched with her arms around her knees, her head hanging in shame, despair, and disgrace.  She's so small in relation to the size of the card - that's how I often feel - small and insignificant.  Again, when I really think about it, I know this isn't so, but the message doesn't seem to stick in my brain.  

 

2. Something that I may perceive as a weakness or a flaw that in truth can be one of my greatest assets or blessings - The Magician

 

I had a hard time with this one, because I see the magician as such a positive card.  I finally found its meaning when I meditated on the picture.  The Royo Dark magician sits under a tree, his grimoire on his lap.  He holds a mask in his hand; I imagine he's taken it off to better study his book of magic.  Suddenly, startled, he looks up and realizes he's been caught unaware - someone has been watching and has seen his true unmasked self.  The thought frightens him, so he starts to get up and run away, but then resigns himself to the fact that all his secrets are out.

 

After this meditation, I realized that I see being vulnerable as a major weakness.  I feel like asking for help, letting people know what I'm feeling, and showing my true, flawed self leave me open to scorn and derision - that 5 of Pentacles thinking again.  But maybe asking for help will result in my learning something, or accomplishing something I could have never done on my own.  Baring my feelings may lead people to lend me their support, or it may help someone who's feeling the same way I do, and needs a sympathetic ear.  And letting people see the real me may lead to deep connections and true friendships.

 

3. How I inspire and motivate others (perhaps unknowingly) - 2 of Pentacles 

 

This was another tough one.  I'm not a very balanced person at all, and I'm not especially good at multitasking, so I wasn't sure where the inspiration fit in.  I think maybe (or at least I'm hoping) that I inspire people through the readings for myself that I post here on the forum.  I hope I'm showing that even when your emotions are in turmoil, or you're in the midst of depression or self-doubt, you can still manage to stay afloat on those rough waters, and come back stronger than ever.

 

 

 

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Guest Night Shade

DAY 5 - WAXING CRESCENT 🌒

 

Themes: Commitments & responsibilities

 

Deck Used: Universal Waite   

 

This was one of those readings that practically read itself.  When I saw my cards, I immediately thought "required family functions".  I'm not talking about getting together with the family you like for some fun times, I'm talking about big events, like holiday dinners, weddings, and the like, when the entire family will be there, and you're expected to attend, whether you like it or not.  So I'm interpreting this reading from that perspective.

 

1. My experiences regarding commitments and expectations of others - 10 of Swords 

 

Yeah, that pretty much sums up how I feel about these things.  Getting preached at - one sword in the back.  "Why aren't you married yet?" - another sword in the back.  "Do you really need that piece of cake?" - have to stop myself from putting a sword in their back.  And so on and so on.

 

Now, to be fair, I tend to be a drama queen about these things, and blow them up into something worse than they are.  But they really do stress me out and leave me feeling drained.  I don't enjoy them very much, and would like to forgo some of them.  But I'm afraid if I do, I'll end up hurting my family members.

 

2. Potential blocks and challenges I have around traditions and responsibilities (internal or external) - 3 of Cups

 

Even though it may not come across online, I am painfully shy.  I'm not good at small talk, I'm uncomfortable in crowds, and generally don't do well in social situations at all.  So getting together with my only-see-once-in-awhile relatives is a huge challenge.

 

The 3 of Cups is all about relaxing, having fun, and enjoying good company.  But sometimes I'd rather go off by myself to a nice quiet corner and play with the host's pets.  This is definitely an internal block, one that some would say is crippling.   I have to wonder, though, if it's really all that bad.  Not everyone can be an extrovert, and being an introvert has its own blessings as well.  Which brings me to the final card...

 

3. Advice on finding the approach that would work best for me - The Hermit 

 

Again, this card says it all.  I have to find the courage to politely decline some of these invitations, even if that means some family members will be offended.  If I do decide to attend, it's okay to take a few moments to myself to regroup if I'm starting to feel overwhelmed.

 

I'm starting to realize that being a Hermit doesn't make me antisocial (even though I may sound so from this reading), it just means that I prefer to save my energy for those I'm most comfortable with, and genuinely enjoy spending time with.  Being introverted isn't a flaw, it's just part of what makes me me.  :smiley:

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Guest Night Shade

DAY 6 - WAXING CRESCENT 🌒

 

THEME: Exploration & Adventure

 

DECK USED: Tarot of a Moon Garden

 

This reading was the most challenging one so far.  I had to make a bit of an intuitive leap, but it feels right, so I think I'm on to something.

 

1. Something that I secretly yearn to experience or explore - The Hermit

 

Hmm.  Well, this was confusing.  I mentioned in yesterday's reading that I'm a bit of a hermit, so that's no secret.  I know that I'm searching for my true spiritual path, so that's not a secret either.  And I know that I'd like to guide people by being a professional tarot reader some day, so it was hard to figure out where the secret comes in.

 

By taking a good look inside myself, I finally realized that my secret wish is to experience true solitude.  I'm not talking about isolating myself from the world, I'm talking about taking a bit of a short retreat.  I'm picturing a cozy country cottage, with no TV, radio, or internet.  It would have a beautiful flower garden where I could sit on a bench under a tree and read or meditate.  And of course it would have a soothing bubbling fountain.  In a setting like this, I could calm my soul, work out some issues, and really figure myself out.

 

Of course, I could always have a solitary retreat at home by just turning some things off, but I like the cottage idea better. :laugh:

 

2. Who or what has held me back in the past - Ace of Staffs

 

Another confusing card.  the Ace of Staffs usually says "Yes!  Go for it!", but here it represents the things that are holding me back.  Since the number one represents the self, the only thing that's stopping me from tuning out the world for awhile is me.

 

While my secret wish sounds absolutely wonderful, the problem is that there's always something new and exciting going on in the world that I don't want to miss out on.  New discoveries, new music to listen to, new tarot decks ( :wink: ) - I'm afraid of missing out on all of it, so a solitary retreat becomes a nonstarter.

 

The Moon Garden card shows a unicorn peeking out from behind a tree.  I think this would be me if I did try solitude - always peeking out to see if something new has popped up when I wasn't looking.  Which would defeat the point entirely.:laugh:

 

3. What can help me to take the plunge; to chase after my dreams or fulfill my potential - 7 of Swords

 

I think the advice of the 7 of Swords is to do what I can handle at the moment, and not worry about getting everything just right.  Even if I can't get myself to commit to a time of solitude, I can still sneak a few moments of alone time here and there.  Like I said, it may not be perfect, but it's better than nothing.  And skipping out on my daily routine for a day or two for a little peace and quiet won't hurt anything.  Yeah, I might miss a favorite show or two, or the latest goings happenings on the forum (this is the worst part!), but I it will do me a world of good, and I can always catch up.

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Guest Night Shade

DAY 7 - WAXING CRESCENT 🌒

 

THEME: Building & expanding

 

DECK USED: Hanson-Roberts

 

1. The foundation that is now solid enough for me to start building upon - Knight of Cups

 

The Knight of Cups relates to the way I show and give love.  I'm at the point in my life where giving love is starting to feel more important than receiving it.  I used to hide my feelings, for fear of being rejected, but now I want to wear my heart on my sleeve, and let people know how much I love, care for, and appreciate them, whether or not that love is returned.  I want my love to uplift, inspire, and empower, and most importantly, I want the people I love to feel like someone understands them.  I still have a ways to go in my quest to love more spiritually and selflessly, but I believe that I am moving forward.

 

2. A glimpse of what could possibly be achieved - 6 of Swords

 

The 6 of Swords promises that if I allow myself to love freely and selflessly, I'll be able to help lead the ones I love out of their troubles.  So many times other people have lifted me out of sadness, or given me a helping hand when times were tough - now I want to be the one to help.  Whether it's helping someone feel better about themselves and giving them hope about whatever situation they may be facing, an act of service to help better someone's life, or just walking beside a loved one and holding their hand, I want my love to make a difference.  

 

3. A good strategy to accomplish this - 9 of Swords

 

I will never be able to give pure, true, healing love to anyone else if I don't first heal the hurt and sorrow in my own heart.  So the first thing I need to do is perform an act of self-love.  I need to mourn all of the pain and loss in my life one final time, then release it and bid it farewell.

 

Nines are connected to the Hermit, and as I've mentioned before I have a lot of Hermit energy.  I can be pretty internally focused (okay, self-absorbed), and I noticed that the woman on the card seems the same way.  Now, it's perfectly all right to focus on yourself, especially if you're going through a lot.  But focusing on your troubles sometimes only magnifies them, and blinds you to the equal (if not worse) suffering that others are going through.  So if I want my love to be of service (and help myself in the process) I need to stop looking at myself and start looking around for someone to show love to.

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DAY 8 - FIRST QUARTER, WAXING MOON 🌓

 

THEME: Money & Prosperity

 

DECK USED: Gilded Tarot

 

1. The attitudes and choices that will aid me in attracting prosperity - The Magician

 

The Magician is associated with the number one and the self.  This means that I'm solely responsible for bringing prosperity into my life.  Through my power and will, I can manifest all that I need.  That is, as long as I take some kind of action.  The Magician doesn't just sit around and hope for things to happen, he gets out there and makes them happen.  He creates his own reality, and so must I.

 

The Magician can use anything and everything at hand to make the magic happen (and this is a lesson in itself), but his greatest tool is his self-confidence that borders on arrogance.  I've mentioned in other readings that self-confidence is a challenge for me.  I think I need to toot my own horn every once in awhile, and celebrate the smallest accomplishments like they're major victories, until my mind believes that I can do anything I set out to do.  In other words, fake it until I make it!   :biggrin:

 

Of course, a prosperity spell or two wouldn't hurt either! (casting a spell is an action) :wink:

 

2. A potential source of wealth that has been previously overlooked - The Sun

 

This was kind of a tough one, but I think it means that I've discounted the power of simply being positive and enthusiastic.  In hindsight, I realize that I've missed out on or rejected many opportunities because I pessimistically believed that they would never work out, or I just couldn't get myself to care enough to take advantage of them.  Maybe adopting a sunny disposition and more optimistic attitude will make me more open to seizing any fortuitous opportunities that come along.

 

The Sun is number 19, which reduces down to 10, which reduces down to 1, so more 1 energy is at play here.  I think this means I've been overlooking my own personal potential to bring wealth into my life.  I need to blow away my clouds of self-doubt, and shine the light on my talents and abilities that will lead me to prosperity.

 

Finally, I don't see wealth as being merely material - I believe that you can be spiritually wealthy as well.  Happiness, family, friendship - these are all sources of wealth that I've downplayed or taken for granted.  Appreciating and celebrating these thing would bring me an instant increase in abundance.

 

3. What I will need to tackle in my journey toward abundance - The Moon

 

In order to take the next steps on my journey, I'll have to cut through the fog of mistaken ideas I have about abundance.  Things like "there's only so much money to go around" or "only the chosen few can become wealthy" that have held me back from even trying.  Then there's my fear of failure that completely paralyzes me.  To be honest, these things have been plaguing me for most of my life, so tackling them will be a challenge indeed.

 

The Moon card also warns me not to stay stuck in the realm of only dreaming about prosperity.  visualizing my goals is fine, and I believe it helps to plant the seeds in the astral plane, but at some point, as I mentioned in The Magician, I'll have to do some work to reach my goal.  The Moon is associated with Pisces, and I'm a Pisces, so stepping out of the dream world is doubly hard for me :laugh:

 

Finally, The Moon is number 18, which reduces down to 9, the number of The Hermit.  If you've been following along with these readings, you know I have an abundance of Hermit energy.  I'd much rather hole myself up and contemplate spiritual matters than go out into the world and actually get something done.  If I'm ever to achieve abundance, I'll have to channel my inner Magician and bathe in the light of my inner Sun to motivate me to get moving.

 

 

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I think what you wrote about money and prosperity is so profound. I have my own shadows around this too, especially about what constitutes a successful life or not (everyone else seem to only value careers and paychecks without considering how passionate a person is or how nourished they feel from whatever it is that they do). So while I’m probably not successful in the traditional (western) sense of the word, I have come to realize that I’m very fortunate by my own standards. My growth and my progress is not tied to money, but that’s ok. As long as I’m prosperous- which I am! And I love what you wrote about being in charge of your own success and allowing optimism and positivity to guide us toward new opportunities and avenues.

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Guest Night Shade
On 5/12/2019 at 1:09 AM, Raggydoll said:

I think what you wrote about money and prosperity is so profound. I have my own shadows around this too, especially about what constitutes a successful life or not (everyone else seem to only value careers and paychecks without considering how passionate a person is or how nourished they feel from whatever it is that they do). So while I’m probably not successful in the traditional (western) sense of the word, I have come to realize that I’m very fortunate by my own standards. My growth and my progress is not tied to money, but that’s ok. As long as I’m prosperous- which I am! And I love what you wrote about being in charge of your own success and allowing optimism and positivity to guide us toward new opportunities and avenues.

Thank you, @Raggydoll!  I used to think prosperity was only about financial success, but as I get older I realize that happiness and spiritual satisfaction are just as if not more important.

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Guest Night Shade

DAY 9 - WAXING GIBBOUS 🌔

 

THEME: Confidence & Authenticity

 

DECK USED: Celtic Dragon Tarot

 

1. A truth that can set me free - Ace of Cups

 

I see the Ace of Cups first and foremost as representing self love, so this was an extremely empowering card to receive in this position.  It's a reminder that I never have to feel unloved, because I can choose to love myself.  I want this self-love to grow and grow until it fills me up and spills out of me, transforming into unconditional love for everyone around me.

 

The Ace of Cups also hints that I have more love and friendship around me than I realize - I just haven't recognized it yet.  It tells me to open my heart to all this positive, loving energy, and let it set me free from sadness and despair.

 

Finally, the Celtic Dragon card pictures four baby dragons who have just been hatched.  This made me realize that if I don't like the way my life is going, I can reinvent myself at any time, and give myself a fresh new start.

 

2. A key to my authentic self - 7 of Swords

 

My authentic self is apparently a criminal.  Well, when I was a kid I wanted to be Catwoman (the Julie Newmar version).  I loved the way she would have her henchmen fight Batman for her, while she would sit there and paint her nails or something.  But I digress.

 

So, how to look at this card in an empowering way?  I think it's saying that my authentic self is someone who can take what they want for their life, even if by rights they shouldn't be able to have it.  There have been many times when I achieved something that no one (including myself) believed I ever could, or when I ended up in an awesome place that my circumstances never should have allowed.  The key here is to ignore the voices that tell me "you can't do it" or "you don't deserve it" or "know your place", and just go for it anyway  

 

My place is wherever I choose to be.

 

3. How I can build true confidence - The Hermit

 

The Hermit again!  This card must really have something to say to me.  I believe that this time, it's saying that to build true confidence, I'll need to look within to find the spirit of the Magician from yesterday's reading.  Once I adopt this almost arrogant attitude and apply it to my 7 of Swords soul, nothing will be able to hold me back.

 

The Celtic Dragon Hermit sits high in a tree, studying his books of lore.  When I meditated on this card, I saw him as reading all about himself.  What I need to do is get to know myself inside and out - my strengths and my weaknesses, my blessings and my flaws.  Once I've searched my soul and figured out where I excel and where I need work, I can smooth out my bad points, and nurture my good points until they've grown to their highest levels.  Becoming my best possible self will help to instill confidence in my mind and in my heart, and lend strength and power to everything I do.

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Guest Night Shade

DAY 10 - WAXING GIBBOUS 🌔

 

 

THEME: Gratitude and Strength

 

DECK USED: Mystical Manga

 

1. A blessing from my past (how my past experiences can be turned into a blessing or a strength) - Queen of Cups

 

I very rarely use a significator for myself in my readings, but when I do, I choose the Queen of Cups.  So I would say that the blessing from my past is everything that led me to become the person that I am today.  Sometimes I wish I could change the past, and erase all the bad experiences that I've had.  But then I realize that without those experiences, not only would my life have turned out differently, I would have turned out differently - and deep down I don't really want that.  Good or bad, I am who I am -  and I'm starting to really like me!

 

I have to add that another significant blessing from my childhood was the day I found a book on the occult at the library when I was around twelve years old.  It opened up a whole new world for me, and I knew immediately that it was where I belonged (although oddly enough, I was afraid of tarot - I thought it was going too far into the occult! 😁  If I hadn't discovered that book, I might not be on this forum today, so I'm extremely grateful!

 

2. What gratitude can teach me about my current situation - 7 of Coins

 

Remembering and being thankful for all the blessings I've had in my life reminds me that blessings show up in their own time.  By definition you can't force a blessing to come when you call, or do anything to make it happen.  It's a gift that comes to you when you least expect it.

 

The 7 of Coins reminds me of that old saying that hard work is its own reward.  My life is in a period of stasis right now.  Sometimes I'll work toward making a change, but end up seeing little to no results.  I need to realize that the changes wrought in me by my efforts are just as valuable and satisfying as the life changes that I had hoped to see.  Looking at the contented man on the Mystical Manga card makes me see that even though the changes and growth I desire are slow in coming, my life is still pretty good right now just as it is.  And that's something to be grateful for.

 

3. Where I need to be selective going forward - Ace of Coins

 

The first thing I noticed was the cornucopia of fruits and vegetables in the foreground of the card.  It immediately made me thing "eat healthier!" (it's funny, this morning I was wondering if it's safe to eat expired ramen bowls.  It's probably not safe to eat them in the first place).  

 

I also need to be more selective in how I spend my money.  I should only spend it on necessities and on things that will enrich my life, not things that I want but don't need.  This is a time to enjoy and be grateful for everything that I already have.

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DAY 11 - WAXING GIBBOUS 🌔

 

THEME: Beauty and Pleasure

 

DECK USED: Crystal Visions Tarot

 

1. The beauty that can be found in the present moment - The High Priestess

 

I think the High Priestess in this position means that the beauty to be found in this moment is the beauty inside me.  This was kind of hard for me to swallow, because I don't see myself as beautiful in any way, shape, or form.  But maybe that's the point - it's high time for me to look inside myself and find my true beauty.

 

I can also find beauty by being still, enjoying my surroundings, and letting things be.  I can relax and put my worries aside for awhile, because they don't need to be dealt with just now, and deep down I know the answers to them anyway.  Maybe I'll take a walk in the park and watch the squirrels, then rest on a bench under a tree and read a good book, or just sit and dream for awhile.  Or sit on the porch after dark and gaze at the stars and the moon.  Anything that will calm my soul and open my eyes to the beauty all around me.

  

2. How I can create or attract more beauty and pleasure in my life - The Hermit

 

The Hermit.  Again.  Hmm...what does it mean this time?  Well, I think it's reiterating the message of the High Priestess that I first need to find and acknowledge the beauty inside me.  You attract the things that you put out into the world, so if I have no beauty to give, then there will be none for me to receive in return.  So like the Crystal Visions Hermit, who sits on the edge of a cliff, shining her light down on the world, I should let my inner beauty shine on everyone I meet.

 

I think The Hermit also says that it's okay to go out and have some fun by myself.  There are plenty of things I could do (for free!), like go to a concert on the town green, or a moving screening at the library, but I always feel self-conscious going alone (I would ask my mom to join me, but she'd even more of a Hermit than I am).  But why not go and enjoy myself - I might even meet some new friends. 

 

3. The key to expressing my inner beauty - The Magician 

 

I've been getting this card a lot as well.  Once again, I'm going with the meaning of self-confidence.  I can be very jealous and insecure, and I'm always comparing myself to other people (especially other women).  Inevitably, I see myself as lacking and falling short, and end up miserable and in a bad mood - not a lot of beauty there (just the opposite in fact).  I need to stop the comparisons and focus on myself.  If there's something about myself I don't like, I have the power to change it.  More importantly, though, I should focus on the things I do like about myself - the things that make me awesome and unique - and work the hell out of them and show them off to the world!

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On 5/13/2019 at 6:08 PM, Night Shade said:

DAY 10 - WAXING GIBBOUS 🌔

 

 

THEME: Gratitude and Strength

 

DECK USED: Mystical Manga

 

1. A blessing from my past (how my past experiences can be turned into a blessing or a strength) - Queen of Cups

 

I very rarely use a significator for myself in my readings, but when I do, I choose the Queen of Cups.  So I would say that the blessing from my past is everything that led me to become the person that I am today.  Sometimes I wish I could change the past, and erase all the bad experiences that I've had.  But then I realize that without those experiences, not only would my life have turned out differently, I would have turned out differently - and deep down I don't really want that.  Good or bad, I am who I am -  and I'm starting to really like me!

 

Im so glad to hear that you are starting to like yourself! 

 

On 5/13/2019 at 6:08 PM, Night Shade said:

I have to add that another significant blessing from my childhood was the day I found a book on the occult at the library when I was around twelve years old.  It opened up a whole new world for me, and I knew immediately that it was where I belonged (although oddly enough, I was afraid of tarot - I thought it was going too far into the occult! 😁  If I hadn't discovered that book, I might not be on this forum today, so I'm extremely grateful!

 

I was about the same age when I started borrowing books about tarot and the occult from the library. I also read books about ghosts, mythological creatures etc. and I remember one time when the librarian lady asked me if I wouldn’t at least try to read some normal books meant for people my age 😂😂😂 

On 5/13/2019 at 6:08 PM, Night Shade said:

2. What gratitude can teach me about my current situation - 7 of Coins

 

Remembering and being thankful for all the blessings I've had in my life reminds me that blessings show up in their own time.  By definition you can't force a blessing to come when you call, or do anything to make it happen.  It's a gift that comes to you when you least expect it.

 

The 7 of Coins reminds me of that old saying that hard work is its own reward.  My life is in a period of stasis right now.  Sometimes I'll work toward making a change, but end up seeing little to no results.  I need to realize that the changes wrought in me by my efforts are just as valuable and satisfying as the life changes that I had hoped to see.  Looking at the contented man on the Mystical Manga card makes me see that even though the changes and growth I desire are slow in coming, my life is still pretty good right now just as it is.  And that's something to be grateful for.

 

Thats so great ❤️

On 5/13/2019 at 6:08 PM, Night Shade said:

3. Where I need to be selective going forward - Ace of Coins

 

The first thing I noticed was the cornucopia of fruits and vegetables in the foreground of the card.  It immediately made me thing "eat healthier!" (it's funny, this morning I was wondering if it's safe to eat expired ramen bowls.  It's probably not safe to eat them in the first place).  

 

OMG you’re killing me 😆😆😆

On 5/13/2019 at 6:08 PM, Night Shade said:

I also need to be more selective in how I spend my money.  I should only spend it on necessities and on things that will enrich my life, not things that I want but don't need.  This is a time to enjoy and be grateful for everything that I already have.

Such wise words!

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Guest Night Shade

Thank you @Raggydoll.  I really am starting to like my life and myself.

 

I always wonder why libraries, bookstores, and the like have these kind of books if they're just going to judge people for wanting them!

 

By the way, i did eat the ramen (I hate to let food go to waste).  I'm still alive so far! 

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1 hour ago, Night Shade said:

DAY 11 - WAXING GIBBOUS 🌔

 

THEME: Beauty and Pleasure

 

DECK USED: Crystal Visions Tarot

 

1. The beauty that can be found in the present moment - The High Priestess

 

I think the High Priestess in this position means that the beauty to be found in this moment is the beauty inside me.  This was kind of hard for me to swallow, because I don't see myself as beautiful in any way, shape, or form.  But maybe that's the point - it's high time for me to look inside myself and find my true beauty.

 

I can also find beauty by being still, enjoying my surroundings, and letting things be.  I can relax and put my worries aside for awhile, because they don't need to be dealt with just now, and deep down I know the answers to them anyway.  Maybe I'll take a walk in the park and watch the squirrels, then rest on a bench under a tree and read a good book, or just sit and dream for awhile.  Or sit on the porch after dark and gaze at the stars and the moon.  Anything that will calm my soul and open my eyes to the beauty all around me.

  

2. How I can create or attract more beauty and pleasure in my life - The Hermit

 

The Hermit.  Again.  Hmm...what does it mean this time?  Well, I think it's reiterating the message of the High Priestess that I first need to find and acknowledge the beauty inside me.  You attract the things that you put out into the world, so if I have no beauty to give, then there will be none for me to receive in return.  So like the Crystal Visions Hermit, who sits on the edge of a cliff, shining her light down on the world, I should let my inner beauty shine on everyone I meet.

 

I think The Hermit also says that it's okay to go out and have some fun by myself.  There are plenty of things I could do (for free!), like go to a concert on the town green, or a moving screening at the library, but I always feel self-conscious going alone (I would ask my mom to join me, but she'd even more of a Hermit than I am).  But why not go and enjoy myself - I might even meet some new friends. 

 

3. The key to expressing my inner beauty - The Magician 

 

I've been getting this card a lot as well.  Once again, I'm going with the meaning of self-confidence.  I can be very jealous and insecure, and I'm always comparing myself to other people (especially other women).  Inevitably, I see myself as lacking and falling short, and end up miserable and in a bad mood - not a lot of beauty there (just the opposite in fact).  I need to stop the comparisons and focus on myself.  If there's something about myself I don't like, I have the power to change it.  More importantly, though, I should focus on the things I do like about myself - the things that make me awesome and unique - and work the hell out of them and show them off to the world!

It IS hard not to compare yourself to everyone else. You’re not the only one that gets insecure, we all do (or maybe not the narcissists?🤔😊). But I will say that I find you such a strong and colorful person and you have a great sense of humor! Plus you are super duper effective in your moderator work! 💖

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Just now, Night Shade said:

Thank you @Raggydoll.  I really am starting to like my life and myself.

 

I always wonder why libraries, bookstores, and the like have these kind of books if they're just going to judge people for wanting them!

 

By the way, i did eat the ramen (I hate to let food go to waste).  I'm still alive so far! 

Good for you, living on the edge and embracing The Fool archetype when it comes to expired foods 😁😉

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30 minutes ago, Raggydoll said:

It IS hard not to compare yourself to everyone else. You’re not the only one that gets insecure, we all do (or maybe not the narcissists?🤔😊). But I will say that I find you such a strong and colorful person and you have a great sense of humor! Plus you are super duper effective in your moderator work! 💖

Thank you so much @Raggydoll!  You have no idea how much that means to me. :animated-smileys-hug-002:

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DAY 12 - WAXING GIBBOUS 🌔

 

THEME: Learning and inner growth

 

DECK USED: Pagan Tarot

 

1. How can I give myself the mental stimulation that I crave? - 9 of Chalices

 

The 9 of Chalices says that I can stimulate my mind by exploring the things that truly interest me, and that I've been longing to know more about.  Perhaps take some time to indulge in a new course of study (I have a nice book on Japanese mythology just waiting to be read...), or delve deeper into topics where I know the basics, but could use a bit more expertise (I'm looking at the lucid dreaming book on the shelf across the room)  Really, anything my heart desires.

 

The woman on the Pagan Tarot card is browsing in a metaphysical shop.  She has so many choices, and can pick any one of them that she wishes.  Maybe something completely new to her will catch her eye, and on a whim she'll go with that.  The spirit of curiosity that she shows is another way that I can give my mind a good workout.  Taking up a new hobby or practice that I know nothing about, or have never even heard of before will challenge my brain, and may even become a new favorite activity.

 

2. How the process of studying and learning will affect me on a deeper level - Initiate (Queen) of Wands

 

I've always believed that the journey to a goal is just as (if not more) important than the goal itself.  Accordingly, I think the greatest benefit of the process of studying and learning is that it will ignite my passion, and my enthusiasm for life.  I always get excited when I gain a new insight, so an intense search for knowledge will fire up my spirit and leave me ready to take on anything the world throws at me.

 

This process of studying will also improve my social life.  Learning new skills and improving the ones I already have will make me more self-confident, and more likely to volunteer those skills when needed, or to teach them to others.  And simply knowing more about any subject will give me something to talk about, and give me the courage to express my views and join in on conversations.

 

3. An unlikely teacher that holds great potential for me (whether it's a person, a thing, or a situation) - 7 of Swords

 

Well, we saw on Day 9 that my authentic self is a criminal - now I suppose I need to find an Artful Dodger to teach me the ways of the underworld.  Seriously though, what came to me was reading banned books, those where people would have had to sneak around in order to find a copy.  Investigating the reasons why they were banned, reading them for myself, and forming my own opinion on the matter will help me examine my ideals and values, and determine if the really fit my inner truth, or if they need to evolve.

 

The woman on the Pagan Tarot card is out hiking, when she comes across a well stocked campsite.  She doesn't seem inclined to steal anything, she's looking at it as she passes by.  This image made me think that the little things that I notice when I'm just walking along can become a catalyst for a new avenue of study.  When I think something like "oh, that's a pretty tree - I wonder what it is" I can use those thoughts as a prompt to investigate something new.

 

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DAY 13 - WAXING GIBBOUS 🌔

 

THEME: Friendships & Community

 

DECK USED: Fey Tarot

 

1. Something that is crucial and non-negotiable for me when it comes to personal relationships - The Wisest (The Hierophant)

 

Rather than the spiritual dictator that the Hierophant is sometimes portrayed as, I see the Hierophant more as someone who has a deep reverence for spiritual matters.  This type of attitude is crucial for anyone I would call a close friend or partner.  They don't have to be on a life-long spiritual quest, but they do have to be open to spiritual ideas (not necessarily the same as my own) and exploration.

 

Ideally, anyone with whom I would have a close personal relationship would share the same values as me.  It's not necessarily a deal-breaker, but I always wonder how close I could really be with someone whose worldview was fundamentally different from mine.  I think we could be casual friends, and we could certainly be civil to each other, but intimate friends or partners...I'm not sure.

 

2. What to do more of (the type of relationships and socializing I will thrive from - 7 of Pentacles

 

I have a bad tendency to try to rush the growth of my relationships.  The 7 of Pentacles advises me to take things slow and let them grow at their own pace.  I can put my best effort into a relationship, but then I have to let nature take it's course.  My relationships may thrive and bear wonderful fruit, or they may wither and die on the wine.  Either way, if I try to interfere with their natural progression, they won't even get off the ground.

 

The Fey Tarot card shows a fey lounging in a tree that is rooted in water rather than soil.  I think the type of relationships that suit me best are those based on deep emotional connections.  I'm a Pisces, so emotions are everything to me, and I love relating to people on a deeper level.  I just need to be careful not to let my strong emotions drown any budding relationships before the can even get started.

 

3. What to be careful of, or to do less of (negative patterns, toxic friendships, and so on) - The Stars

 

The fey on the Stars card literally has stars in her eyes.  She sees everything and everyone through the filter of stardust and glitter.  This is how I tend to view people I feel a connection with - like everything about them is shiny and bright, and they hung the stars from the sky.  I idealize them, and judge them unfairly - I expect them to live up to my impossible standards, instead of seeing them for who they really are.  Eventually the sun comes out, and I see them in the light of day - their true self, not the one that I imagined - and I realize that the relationship has been built on false assumptions.

 

 I realize this sounds like I'm saying that the other person turns out to be not good enough, and that's not what I mean at all.  I just mean that by putting them on a pedestal I put them in an unfair position.  Most of the time, they're wonderful people, but I don't see all of the amazing things that make them uniquely them because I'm too focused on my idealized vision of them.  Everyone wants to be seen for who they really are, and they don't want to have to fit themselves into someone else's mold, so the end result can only be resentment and shattered relationships.  From now on I'm going to let the people in my life shine their own light, not the light I've reflected onto them.

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DAY 14 - WAXING GIBBOUS 🌔

 

THEME: Sacred balance

 

DECK USED: Ludy Lescot Tarot 

 

1. An area where I tend to experience excess or overwhelm - 9 of Pentacles

 

Well, I don't live a life of excessive luxury, so I had to think about this one for awhile.  I finally realized that this card was saying that I indulge in too much leisure time, when I should be working to better my life and myself.  While there's nothing wrong with taking some time out to have fun and enjoy life, as today's theme says, there needs to be balance - in this case between work and play.  

 

The 9 of Pentacles is numerically connected to my friend The Hermit (he had to show up somehow, even if it wasn't directly 😄 ).  I think my Hermit energy, while it serves me well in many ways, can sometimes go a bit overboard.  I'm extremely shy, and I often like to keep my own company.  But sometimes it gets awfully lonely, and I know it's not healthy for me to be alone all the time.  I need to find a balance between solitude and socializing.

 

The Ludy Lescot 9 of Pentacles gives me a final word of warning.  The woman on the card sits on a tomb, red and black roses strewn around her.  Leisure time may start out relaxing and refreshing, but taken too far it ends up dead and dry.  When it gets to that point (or really, before) it's time to get back into the world and do something productive.

 

2. An area where I tend to experience lack or worry - The Chariot

 

The lack I see here is a lack of motivation.  Many Chariot cards feature a warrior standing tall in the driver's seat, controlling the chariot by the sheer force of their will.  On the Ludy Lescot card, however, the main figure is a girl huddled in the back of a carriage driven by an anonymous man.  She pays no attention to where she's going - it's possible that the destination isn't even of her choosing.  A bouquet of roses lies by her side, but the red roses of passion are all falling away from her - she's left only with black roses of decay.

 

I'm a lot like the girl in the carriage.  Sometimes I take the easy way out (or is it the insecure way?  or the too scared to try way?) and let life carry me along as it will.  Like her, I don't even look at (or choose to ignore?) where I'm going - I just go with the flow ( in the not positive way).  This card is a warning not to let one more bit of my passion go, and to seize the reins and take back my personal power.  My life should be in my own hands, not in those of fate or any other person's.

 

3. How I can restore my sacred balance - 2 of Pentacles

 

I think the tarot is getting a little cheeky here.  The 2 of Pentacles says that to restore my sacred balance, I need to get things in balance.  The end.  😄  Really, I think it's echoing the message of the two previous cards.  First, I need to find the right balance between work and play.  Then I need to find the inner balance that The Chariot usually suggests - between my emotions and my intellect, my light side and my dark side, my logic and my intuition.  Only them can I become my whole, sacred self.

 

The woman on the Ludy Lescot card has been crying.  She stands on her balcony, gazing out at the world with a look of longing.  I think this is a valuable clue as to how to restore my balance.  Releasing my negative emotions (I usually hold them all in) will help to balance my inner self.  Then allowing myself to long for things that seem remote and impossible (I usually stuff those desires down as well)  will motivate me to take action and go after them, helping to balance my work and play.

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