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truthseeker65

Tarot, Timing And Frustration

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Truthseeker65 here...lately, I've tried not to ask the cards the same questions I always ask as I've had those questions answered time and again, and the answers are essentially the same.

 

Success is coming, I will achieve my dreams/goals, love is coming, patience, an older man/woman will guide me/assist me in business, better health is coming...all great things.

 

The cards keep telling me that it will happen soon.

 

Soon to me is within a number of weeks or even a short few months (like 3 - 5, though 5 is pushing it for "soon").

 

But it never seems to come, to materialize.

 

I follow the advice of the cards but I just get so sad and frustrated and impatient with waiting.  I've been waiting/striving towards/moving towards these same things for so long now, years, and still nothing.

 

My life was on track, or so i thought, until my mother passed away 18 years ago, then my father needed me and so I waited some more.  And then he passed and that was 8 years ago.

 

Yet here I am, still waiting for the seeds I have been planting/have planted to mature and come to fruition.  I'm not getting any younger and I get sadder and more frustrated and more lonely every day.  I feel like I fall further and further behind in my life and wonder why everyone else I know has success (they have set backs too but I seem to only have setbacks) and yet here I am, at the bottom, still looking for my way to a better life for myself.

 

I just don't know what to do anymore.  Some days I just feel like I should stay in bed and accept my fate of being at the bottom of life.

 

I am an 11/11/6 life path...so apparently that means I chose this hard life.  Well, I would like a different choice now please.

 

I would like some of the good things I keep getting told are coming to me, that I have worked towards.

 

Mother's/Father's/Birth day's are always harder and illuminate how far behind in life I am.

 

I know it's stupid to say it's not fair, but it's not fair.  I'm tired.  I'm so so tired.  I just want some positive upward movement, something obvious, something sustainable.

 

Anyway, I'll stop whining now.

 

Thank you to anyone who read this and read all the way to the end.  I appreciate it.  It's hard not telling anyone in my life how I truly feel, because they love me and don't want me to be sad, but they have no actionable advice to give me.  And telling me "it's okay, we love you, keep trying, it will get better" just doesn't help anymore.  Almost 20 years of falling down wears you out.

 

I'm worn out. 

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21 minutes ago, truthseeker65 said:

.lately, I've tried not to ask the cards the same questions I always ask as I've had those questions answered time and again, and the answers are essentially the same.

Hey!  So you are reading your own cards?  When you have participated in exchanges, what kind of messages do you get from others?  If you're reading your own cards and getting these types of interpretations you speak about, then stop reading your own cards (it looks like you're to that point now perhaps.)  Tarot cards can only tell us so much.  They can tell you one thing that is very important and that is to look inside yourself for strength.  I think you should find a single Strength card (without breaking up a deck) and carry that card with you in your purse.  Carry it everywhere with you and think of the innner strength that card can give you.  Look at the awesome lion!  I've had a lot of crap happen in my life, so much I used to say, if I was suicidal I'd be dead by now.  But I raised my son with the knowledge that tomorrow IS another day, and that is a good thing.  Another day for us to live as best we can.  You sound like you might be depressed and if you are in the early stages, get some help.  Don't let yourself sink too deep because it's harder to pull yourself up.  But with friends and a community like TT&M, we're here for you.  So many of us have been and are right where you are now.  We understand and we're always here to listen to you and hopefully give you inspiration. :shug_kittyhug_100-100:

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@truthseeker65,

 

So sorry to hear you’ve had reason to feel sad inside, and for a longer period of time.

 

It’s happened to many of us, (though no two situations are the same of course, and for sure there can be different degrees of the uphill struggle we’re facing or been through.)

 

I’m also so sorry about your loss, with your mum and dad, and some truly hard years, physically and emotionally, that can be read between the lines?

 

Big virtual hugs to you!!

 

***

 

I’m thinking:

 

If you don’t talk about it with anyone, the struggles you’re having, and your inner feelings about it, there can’t be any fresh input to the situation. 

 

One of the dangers, if you haven’t experienced positive movement in many years, is that the brain can’t believe in it anymore...

 

Since we use our brain to think; the thoughts you’re thinking on the situation right now, might not be the top-notch best advice you can get a hold of.

 

(Also, it might not be those whom are the closest to you and your situation that could bring you the best advice and support. It might be, but it doesn’t always happen.)

 

And the cards... I can’t believe I’m saying this, and on a tarot forum... But FORGET ABOUT THOSE...

 

To me, it’s clearly not a situation that can be mended or aided by pulling any more cards. Just be glad you didn’t get ones you consider to be negative ones, and with that, MOVE ON from the perpetual circle of asking those type of questions...

 

So, I think you’ve made a wise choice with that.

 

***

 

May I ask you about example what seeds you’ve planted that doesn’t come into fruition? 

 

IMO there’s a time and a place for patience, but it’s the last thing you should employ in your situation!!

 

There’s like very few flowers where you have to sit and wait for them to bloom for *an eternity.*

 

Something’s clearly not happening, as you describe it... and the useful question is why.

 

***

 

So, my advice, lay low on the patience thing, and:

 

1. Look at all of the components, search for what’s up with this situation, WHY don’t you have any semblance of a garden by now? 

 

I.e are the seed bad, are you giving all your energy to a fruitless endeavour? Barking up the wrong tree is just as exhausting as if it’s the right one... If you go to your planned for garden every day and water the seed and then it turns out they don’t have it in them to grow, it’s still the same effort on your part, and of course you would feel sad and defeated. OR there’s nothing wrong with the seed, but it’s something else. Keep turning every stone for FAULT.

 

There’s CLEARLY SOMETHING here that doesn’t work, if you’ve tried for this long without result. 

 

Find out what that something is.

 

2. Look for a mentor. If it’s a career you don’t get going, find someone in the same or a similar field that DO have success and approach them. (Have some quick and relevant questions ready, because if they don’t have the time for supporting you long-time, and aren’t the mentor you’re looking for, then they might still be ready to answer a question or two.)

 

If it’s a disease you’re fighting, maybe a new, good-energy physiotherapist and/or joining a forum dedicated to fighting that disease could be a path forward, (at least with strengthening resolve and not have to carry it alone.)

 

Etc.

 

***

 

And I’d agree so much with Saturn Celeste. Consider this as an addition to her post, which I think was an excellent response. It’s a good idea with a Strength card in your purse, and you must find a place within where you understand that however long you’ve struggled or felt stuck, it doesn’t guarantee that that is what’s next...

 

You know, my life has felt stuck for long periods at a time, and for various reasons. Those periods of time have rarely if at all turned around because of my patience. (I was being patient, and all I can say is — it can be a huge waste of time.)

 

The wheel can be immensely heavy to turn it ourselves, but oftentimes it CAN be done, with our own Strength, a wise plan ahead and some great support from someone whom believes in your endeavour!

 

Also, I think that almost all of us needs this, more than once in our lives...

 

Please remember, strength isn’t about carrying burdens alone!!

 

I wish you so much a happier future!!

 

🌱

 

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There's not much I can add to what Nordica and Saturn have already said, but here's another vote of support, and confidence that things can change. I've had dark years where there seems to be no way out (not as many as you, it seems), and at that point there are only a few options left. Vain hope wears us out more than anything else, because we are always living in a world that isn't there. Instead, we still have choices. We can decide to endure: close our hopes down, and simply wait for things to change. Having been there, I don't recommend that. Or, we can look for different types of happiness and meaning in the struggles that we endure, transforming our ideas of what is important and what counts as success: manifesting the Hanged Man. Or, if we're a certain type of personality, we can risk trying to make a complete break and create an entirely new life, in a new place, with a new philosophy; in Tarot terms, Death or the Tower. None of the choices is easy, but they're all possible. 

 

It is difficult reading for ourselves, especially if there are deep desires involved. Reading on a future that you desperately want, the cards can hardly help but respond... and sometimes, someone else is needed to see things clearly. If you'd like a full reading, then I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that you'd be very welcome to one - you have but to ask. :animated-smileys-hug-002:

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Posted (edited)

I just want to add that a common mistake people make (and one I often make) is that if you do a reading and get the most wonderful reading for love coming but then don't do any action to make it happen and materialise, then the reading will change and it won't happen. We have to do a part as well, we have to take action and so for example for love, you have to socialise and get out there to meet new people to give the best chance of it happening. One of the biggest mistakes people make in wanting something to materialise is they don't do anything to make it happen, the tarot is not a magic wand to make things happen, it just gives us advice. Our part of it is making it manifest, not the cards.

 

I know you said about planting seeds but it's worth asking the tarot in readings about advice about the best chance of making it happen, to welcome in opportunities.

 

The other annoying thing about divination is having faith, this will happen one day!

I hope you do get some good things coming your way Truthseeker ❤️

Edited by DanielJUK

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l would give reading the cards for yourself a miss for a while.  Your cards may be picking up on your emotional wish list rather than what is reality.  

Why not have a reading done for yourself from one of the readers advertising here.  It may change your outlook, and give a new perspective.  Look on it as a treat for yourself 💖

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Thanks everyone....just to clarify....when I say I have been "planting seeds" I refer to my career.

 

For the last 5 years I've been doing everything to improve my craft (screenwriting) by taking courses and just writing and getting feedback. 

 

I started a Twitter feed to connect with other writers and industry pros.

 

Been working with a script consultant to get my current project ready to go.

 

So, I've been doing all these things and progress has been made, it's just really really really slow.

 

As for my personal life, that's on hold for a few reasons; money (I'm currently disabled and awaiting a hip op so mobility is limited and I can't work outside the home currently), having no job and limited social activity is wearing on me...being social means money in most cases (movies, meals out, the like) and my closest friends don't do social things much as one has 2 jobs and a family and the other works retails so crazy hours.  My social life is limited to seeing them when they have time and mostly we hang out at one of our places.  I'm mostly okay with this but there are times when I get super lonely and need live human contact.

 

As for my health, that's the one that frustrates me the most.  I have to wait, wait for doctor appointments (specialists), wait for tests, and so on and so on...so my limited mobility means I'm not myself ... i have had to adapt to a new persona, one that is less social and active in the world...(see above for reasons).

 

And I had another friend do a Lenormand reading for me last fall, and his assessment was that all the things I want are coming and i was doing all the right things....

 

He told me I had to get more active to help keep my health from getting worse, which I do now (can't walk but I have an exercise bike).

 

He told me that my soul mate was a man who was an old soul but younger than me, divorced with 3 sons.  He said he was an actor, or he actually said his profession was that he was a historical renactor (which can be interpreted as actor) and I wouldn't meet him until my career got really going.

 

he told me my career was going in the right direction and to just keep working at it.

 

Again, some of my problem is patience.  I like to see immediate results and get frustrated when they drag their heels.

 

So, thanks for listening and don't worry.  I just go through these low periods where I get depressed and lonely and frustrated.

 

Thank you all for listening.

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Dear @truthseeker65,

 

Thank you for sharing and clarifying.

 

Unless I’m mistaken you’ve chosen a field where you’d need to be a lion of pure fire in order to get ahead? 

 

If so, that can’t be easy, under the current health, money and social circumstance and all.

 

Maybe that’s why things can’t really take off at the pace you’d like?

 

Please be kind with yourself on that.

 

(And try to weather this time until the surgery. I sincerely understand though, that it sucks having to wait.)

 

Re your friends Lenormand reading, it’s very far from how I myself read, so I can’t really comment.

 

Hugs your way 🌺

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Hey everyone, I haven't disappeared off the planet...just been having highs and lows health wise, some depression (this rainy weather is not helping me) ... still feeling frustrated... looking for hope and trying to hold on until I find it.

 

I don't want to speak to professionals as for me, talk is cheap...talk talk talk ... it's all I do...round and round...like I said before, I"m a woman of action and if I can't tackle a problem head on with a solution, I get frustrated and that's when the depression sets in.

 

I try meditating ... I get bored ... listening to music helps sometimes, but it makes me restless ... there is only so much Netflix I can watch or books to read or games to play to distract me.

 

So, I guess I'm still in the same place I was when I started this thread.  Just wish something good would happen, something positive, some forward movement ... even a little every week would make it better.

 

Anyway, thanks again for listening!  I'm not really just a whiney sad sack ...

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6 hours ago, truthseeker65 said:

Anyway, thanks again for listening!  I'm not really just a whiney sad sack ...

Oh, I don’t think that! We’ve all got inner and/or outer blockages, to some extent or another. Just the other day I had a tear-filled conversation with someone on the phone, that ”my life isn’t where I’d like it to be.” You are right that that can be real frustrating.

 

Though, in your case I get the real sense that you’ve chosen a career path that’s extremely competitive, and it might be that it will continue to hurt you. 

 

Have you made an assessment of what it would take to get to where you’d like to be at, career wise?

 

There’s got to be people whom are already there, to compare talent, education, finalized products, time put into it, networking efforts made, etc.?

 

... maybe, in the field you’ve chosen, that’s very hard for ANYONE to achieve, and irregardless of talent etc., because there’s so many with the exact same dream?

 

You’ve described having been through A LOT these years, deaths  and health issues, career struggles, and probably more. 

 

To me, it’s NO WONDER you’d be feeling depressed when, on top of that, there’s never enough REWARD in what you’re doing.

 

Personally, career wise I just think that hope can help you ENDURE into perpetuity, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.

 

Why do you love that particular career so much? Is it truly worth it, with the personal hefty admission fee and all, to get a ticket to be on that particular battle field? 

 

(Of course, since it’s where you want to be, I’m the first one to support going for ”realizing the sun of one’s dream” — but please then bring a bag full of self-love with you there, and don’t forget to frequently apply it!!)

 

(In the end — goes for all of us, I guess.)

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15 hours ago, truthseeker65 said:

So, I guess I'm still in the same place I was when I started this thread.  Just wish something good would happen, something positive, some forward movement ... even a little every week would make it better.

Join Scribophile!  It's a site for writers by writers and there are screenwriters on the site.  It's free but you have limits with a free site.  Otherwise it's $65 a year.  Try the site for free and see if you like it.  You give critiques to writers and they critique you.  It also has groups you can join and forums for additional information.  Maybe looking at your work through other people's eyes might give you the inspiration you need to shift it up into high gear with your writing!  I also do writer readings if you would be interested.

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Thank you everyone....I have made some progress since I last posted.  I've realized my fear of change (and it's a big one) is part of what is holding me back.  I'm so afraid of change, that even good change, success, is scaring me.  That and past "failures" make me assume that I will just fail again.

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46 minutes ago, truthseeker65 said:

Thank you everyone....I have made some progress since I last posted.  I've realized my fear of change (and it's a big one) is part of what is holding me back.  I'm so afraid of change, that even good change, success, is scaring me.  That and past "failures" make me assume that I will just fail again.

That’s just very human, and we’re a lot whom can recognize that within ourselves! Congrats. on making progress! 💚

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When I was a very little girl, my aunt gave me a little book that could be used to hold autographs of people.  I suppose it was mostly for people who were famous in some way but I didn't know any famous people so I just asked around in my family. One of my uncles wrote "Life is what you make it. Thinking makes it so." I've always remembered that saying, although the saying went right over my head for lots of years. 

 

I have lots of empathy for you. I'm disabled, too, and I think when my ship came in, I was at the airport.  But when I get discouraged, I make a list of everything I have that I wouldn't have had if I'd been in any other situation.

 

To live, we need several things:

 

Our needs are food, shelter, something to clothe us and fluids to drink. I could survive if I only had worms and frogs to eat. I could clothe myself with things from nature, like leaves and bark and such. And I could be sheltered with just some tree bark and branches made into a little shelter/lean-to. I could live with water to drink out of a creek or river or maybe even a mud puddle. Once I've stripped it down like that, I start realizing how very much I have that's just extra and that I really don't absolutely need. It may sound like a stupid little thing, but it's jerked me back into reality really quickly to stop griping and feeling sorry for myself. I have far more than just what I really need to survive. It's a good example of the "thinking makes it so" that my uncle wrote to me all those years ago.

 

I also sometimes write a list of 5 things I'm thankful for every day for awhile. Sometimes I've just written "I'm thankful to have this pen and paper" five times and I was lying about that, but after a couple of days, I've found more and more things I'm thankful for. It really does change my thinking from "oh poor me" to a happier state. Our lives have many ups and downs and I've had to count my blessings pretty ruthlessly sometimes. lol  I've avoided eating worms so far, too.

 

When my kids and grandkids would say "it's not fair" I'd tell them life isn't fair. It's futile to look for fairness in it. We keep putting one foot in front of the other and striving for what we need for ourselves and our families. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not, but if we just keep on going, we'll make it. As someone else said, we can make things happen rather than just waiting for what we want. My own view on that is that nothing happens by accident. And my own actions and/or inaction are what bring things into my life or keep them out. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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