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Are there any fellow pagans on this forum? Paganism played a huge part in my spirituality in the recent years, and it took a lot of courage to admit that I'm in fact a pagan. I was drawn to divine experience since I was a kid, but being raised in an atheist family I had no one to discuss these topics with. Even my craft didn't include any spiritual practices until I discovered some tarot youtubers (Kelly Ann Maddox in particular) talking about their deities. And then I start searching for my own... and it was a hell of a journey 🙂 currently I'm working with northern pantheon, it all started when I was studying runes, especially with Odin and Loki.   

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Posted (edited)

Pagan is like saying how long is is piece of string, to me. 🙂 

This is fun, but also informative to see how you stand specifically, mine seems to change every year as I move more and more away from any belief structures and disassociate from any rules. 

https://www.beliefnet.com/entertainment/quizzes/beliefomatic.aspx

 

edited to add: if asked by someone with an agenda,I suppose I would just answer heathen. I had a lady in a class today ask me if I had a prayer place in my home since we'd both had cancer. Some situations just don't call for a response, so I smiled. 

 

Welcome to the forum!! Great question. 

Edited by AJ-ish/Sharyn

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:animated-smileys-waving-065: Pagan here! For many years, I just referred to myself as ‘pagan’. Explored a bit of heathenry but have now settled on Druidry as the path which is best fit. 

Odin and Loki are an interesting pair - it often seems that they come together. Had some interesting experiences with them. 

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On 5/25/2019 at 2:43 PM, WolfMother said:

Are there any fellow pagans on this forum? Paganism played a huge part in my spirituality in the recent years, and it took a lot of courage to admit that I'm in fact a pagan. I was drawn to divine experience since I was a kid, but being raised in an atheist family I had no one to discuss these topics with. Even my craft didn't include any spiritual practices until I discovered some tarot youtubers (Kelly Ann Maddox in particular) talking about their deities. And then I start searching for my own... and it was a hell of a journey 🙂 currently I'm working with northern pantheon, it all started when I was studying runes, especially with Odin and Loki.   

I don't know what I am. Basically all my beliefs on everything pretty much revolve around, "I'm not the boss of you." Everyone should get just do themselves.

 

On 5/25/2019 at 6:05 PM, AJ-ish/Sharyn said:

Pagan is like saying how long is is piece of string, to me. 🙂 

This is fun, but also informative to see how you stand specifically, mine seems to change every year as I move more and more away from any belief structures and disassociate from any rules. 

https://www.beliefnet.com/entertainment/quizzes/beliefomatic.aspx

 

edited to add: if asked by someone with an agenda,I suppose I would just answer heathen. I had a lady in a class today ask me if I had a prayer place in my home since we'd both had cancer. Some situations just don't call for a response, so I smiled. 

 

Welcome to the forum!! Great question. 

I took this quiz and got Sikhism. I know nothing really about this religion so I guess I just got a new research topic. 😄

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Posted (edited)

Great discussion topic, @WolfMother 🙂 (So love your name btw!)

 

I think I was always pagan, though is took me a long time to realize it and even longer to admit it, even to myself. I always felt drawn to the moon, I always wanted a deep connection to the seasons. It took me a while to realize these were callings to my spirit.

 

Nothing but Catholicism was an acceptable expression of spirituality in my upbringing- even though my dad wasn't Catholic. My mom and her whole family and very strongly Catholic and I went to Catholic school kindergarten through high school. I realized at a pretty young age that Catholicism wasn't for me- I told my mom when I was 12 that I didn't want to get confirmed, but she convinced me to go through with it. (Ironically, my confirmation name was Brigid, and in retrospect I strongly believe Goddess Brigid was watching out for me even then.) When I was in 8th grade, one of my friends somehow got a hold of Wicca for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham. We passed it around our group of 4 friends, each taking a turn with it. It was right after the movie The Craft had come out and there was a kind of edgy coolness attached to the idea of Wicca at the time. When it was my turn with the book, I hid it under the very center of my bed when I had it at home. I was terrified my mom would find it and I would be in huge trouble. (When I got my first tarot deck a few years later, I treated it much the same way.) I was even a little scared of the book myself, because the I had been so ingrained with fear of any non-Christian practice and especially paganism. But the book definitely spoke to me. The idea of forming my own connection with the divine, of ritual practice, of being out in nature.

 

It wasn't until many years and many life turns later that I began to truly explore pagan practice. I had finished grad school, was questioning a lot of my life choices up to that point and trying to rediscover my center. I started paying attention to when the Solstices and Equinoxes were, something I innately felt called to do. Then I searched local pagan groups and went to a few public rituals. I'm into the Grateful Dead, and through a Deadhead friend I found out about a woman who held moon rituals. I went to one and it left a deep impression on me. I started reading a few books- the woman who hosted the rituals recommended Starhawk. Slowly I began creating my own small rituals and doing them at home.

 

Around this time I met my now-husband. We drove up to my mom's house to visit her for the weekend. I remember we pulled up in her driveway and I just sat in the car. I still have a lot of trauma around my relationship with my mom, and one of the areas this manifests is around my spiritual path. I felt like I couldn't tell her anything about what was really going on with me, but I desperately needed to express my truth. So as we sat in the car, I took a few deep breaths and said to my then-boyfriend, "I think I'm pagan." I then held my breath, waiting for the judgement I had come to expect about such things based on my upbringing. Instead of judgement, what I got was him looking at me and saying, "Well, yeah. That's why you're always doing that moon and equinox stuff, right?" It completely let out the tension of the moment. I started laughing. He had accepted the simple fact that I was pagan before I could even say it out loud.

 

I started spending more time with local pagan groups, and eventually found my home in druidry, which truly feels like the path of my spirit. I belong to my local OBOD druid grove and am currently in the Bardic grade. I would describe my path as nature-based and pantheistic.

 

I am still not "out of the broom closet" to everyone in my life when it comes to family and people I know from my hometown...although my mom does finally know now. Everyone in my current life, i.e. friends, people I know in Washington DC, all know. For the most part I don't shy away from talking about it with anyone. I think it's important for us to speak up about who we are, but it's not always possible or safe, and even if it is possible and safe it's not always easy. But with the people I have CHOSEN in my life, I choose to surround myself with people who celebrate and understand who I am, and this is a big part of who I am.

 

I love that I found my path. I just wish it had not been so difficult in terms of being both actively and tacitly discouraged from exploring who I truly was. But I feel the moon and the earth were always calling me until I was ready to acknowledge my true home.

 

ETA I meant to add, I am so grateful for this community where we can have these conversations and truly share our journeys! 💙

Edited by RavenOfSummer

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@RavenOfSummer thank you for this beautiful and detailed response, it actually brought tears to my eyes. I'm sorry I'm writing back months later, I was away and got no emails from this forum and checked it out just today. My experience with paganism was quite the same - the moon, the season changes and that peculiar feeling for the veil... I'm sure you know what I'm talking about  😉 Last year I found the Solitary Practitioner by accident (but there are no accidents, are there?) and it was my start as well. I slowly developed my rituals, practices and offerings.  

 

I'm very happy that you found your path and acceptance. I'm still deep in the broom closet, except few people that know what I'm actually practicing (pagan pantheism), but it's amazing to see that pagans are out in the open now and there is an actual thirst for spirituality after centuries of oppression and materialism. And it's finally possible to find your tribe in places like this - this community is indeed wonderful! 

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 @Flaxen they are sort of a two sides of the coin, actually. Different, but very similar 🙂 There are a few Druids here, its very interesting. Can you please explain the theology in Druidism? Are there any deities involved? The wiki is quite confusing. 

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