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Readings No-no's


JustPeachy

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JustPeachy

Where do you draw the line on your readings? Who do you refuse? Is it a vibe or an aura off someone or a premonition that something is "off"?

Do you abstain from alcohol or other drugs before a reading, ie., keep it sober? Or do you partake to loosen up the wheels, so to speak? Or do you just whip out the cards and let her rip?

I'm just curious as to what everyone does to prepare themselves for reading if anything at all.

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JohnLetter
32 minutes ago, JustPeachy said:

Where do you draw the line on your readings? Who do you refuse? Is it a vibe or an aura off someone or a premonition that something is "off"?

Do you abstain from alcohol or other drugs before a reading, ie., keep it sober? Or do you partake to loosen up the wheels, so to speak? Or do you just whip out the cards and let her rip?

I'm just curious as to what everyone does to prepare themselves for reading if anything at all.

I just feel "charged" for ask. Because many times I shuffle the cards and one question "works", but then I can feel "disconnected" to other question, or some question can discharge you and then you can't ask. I know, this sounds pretty weird. Also, I can't be pressed or mad, must have neutral mood and blank head for get the correct answer.

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Alcohol, etc., is a social lubricant, and if it helps you to talk and be honest and forthcoming with strangers and you're not prone to bingeing and waking up in jail, I don't see a problem with it. Moderation is key. Same with any other recreational stuff you may be into. (Alcohol absolutely kills crystal gazing for some reason. But that's another ball of wax.)

Card reading ethics are the same as regular ethics. Can you hold your liquor? OK, then. No? Then don't drink.

Who do I refuse? No one, at first. But if someone asks me how to seduce their girlfriend's 10 year old son or daughter - NO. That's an ethical issue, and I posted about it here a couple of years ago: https://fennario.wordpress.com/2017/06/28/on-ethics/
 

As I wrote on the blog, I don't have a "code of ethics" for readings. I think those are BS. I just read cards and try to do the best I can, same as with anything else.

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DownUnderNZer

 

I don't drink or do drugs, so not a problem for me.

 

However, I'm not sure I would read for some one drunk or high either because what if they misconstrue something or are not able to take anything in properly. They could become suicidal or violent.

 

I am not a professional reader or have ever been paid, so I think I have the right to be selective of who I read even if it is a random stranger that takes my fancy.

 

I am not keen on reading for anyone that is a serial sitter or that asks the same questions over and over for years with no progress. Nor the ones that expect everything on a platter or for someone to tell them what colour dress they should be wearing for the day.

 

Not too keen on people prying about suicidal deaths or someone else that is committed to someone else that s/he might be interested in.

 

I like individuals that are open, do not accept everything like the Gospel, and do not hide the truth.

 

For example, will Declan be my romantic interest within the coming year?

 

Only Declan is married to Santana.

 

I will read as good as what I get, but there are some people I would prefer not to read for at all. It is not because they aren't pleasant enough just that they are energy drainers and time wasters.

 

 

DND 💓

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I have refused people based on psychic signals that I’m getting, yes. But it’s very rare. There has also been a couple of occasions where I have picked up on some highly difficult and dark memories (such as childhood trauma) but in those cases I have simply been honest about what I’m seeing and what my limitations and boundaries are (like the obvious one - I’m not a therapist and I am not equipped to help someone deal with trauma). Though I will say that in almost every one of those occasions I was still able to perform the reading, after we got the expectations and the premises sorted out. So I’m not afraid of tough topics, I just want to make sure to proceed with caution and care. 

 

But it I guess I have some more casual ‘donts’. Like, I’m uncomfortable with certain type of questions (the ones that could invade another, not present, persons privacy or integrity). But that can usually be managed by rephrasing the question or to try and get to the “question behind the question”. That’s especially true when it comes to relationship readings I find. There are many layers and it’s often more complex than just “what does M think about me?” (Though sometimes it isn’t, and then I will decline). I generally don’t do purely predictive readings or yes/no questions but sometimes I do.. if I’m called to do so. And while I rarely drink, I wouldn’t be opposed to read for a friend if we were both drinking wine. But I wouldn’t drink before reading for someone online or whatever. It has to be in a face to face social setting. 

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Grizabella
12 hours ago, katrinka said:

As I wrote on the blog, I don't have a "code of ethics" for readings. I think those are BS. I just read cards and try to do the best I can, same as with anything else.

I'm with katrinka on this one. I don't necessarily think a code of ethics is BS but I don't use one. Everyone knows I'm ethical so I don't have to advertise it. lol  

 

I do have a couple of questions I don't want to read on, though. I won't read on whether someone else is gay or not.  And I don't read on "is my spouse cheating?" or "what's my married lover's sex life with his/her spouse like?"

 

I do predictive readings. Anything beyond the present moment is the future or the past, so we all read the future and do predictive readings. For instance, if you only read on questions like "what should I do about---whatever?" you're predicting that if the sitter does thus and so, then the desired result will happen. That's predicting the future.

 

Also, the third party reading thing blows out the window, too, because nobody is totally alone in his or her life. All of us humans are full of "third parties" and if you read for them you're going to be reading about others in the sitter's life as well. 

 

I'm just a plain old-fashioned card reader/fortune teller. I try to be of the best assistance I can to all my sitters because I care about them, whether I know them personally or not. 

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I won't read for family and friends (with one exception; she knows who she is, and why she's different.) I think for me at least it's too risky, knowing too much and possibly already having a view.

 

I won't do health or financial in ANY kind of detail, and I won't do ""does he love me." I will do something like "what kind of a future is there for this relationship" - but if they won't reword the question - tough.

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I usually don't do yes/no readings because I'm just not very good at it. Same for readings about 3rd parties. The cards always seem to want to talk about the sitter anyway (as far as I can tell), so I will help the querent frame the issue to be more about themselves. Other than that, I don't have a lot of rules.

 

I'm not a pro so I don't have to deal with many of the difficult situations.

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3 hours ago, Grizabella said:

I do have a couple of questions I don't want to read on, though. I won't read on whether someone else is gay or not.  And I don't read on "is my spouse cheating?" or "what's my married lover's sex life with his/her spouse like?"

For me, none of this stuff is forbidden. There's intent to consider, though.
For instance, if the client is gay, he or she might be trying to verify that a person who's caught their eye is also gay. That's fine.


But someone who just wants to be nosy and/or spread malicious gossip is another matter.

Most peoples' lives are NOT a kaleidoscope of sexual secrets, and the cards will reflect that. This disappoints them, and they end up moving on to other "readers" who don't mind spinning the tales they want to hear.

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Saturn Celeste

I read professionally and take most questions.  So far I haven't had to refuse service to anyone.  I won't read the same question for one person within 2 weeks of their first reading though, they have to wait at least 2 weeks before returning.

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I refused a reading last week. A woman called me up and wanted to know "what the problems are in my daughter's mariage." Apparently there are problems. 

I asked her if her daughter knows this reading is being done about her and her mariage and she said no, so I told her I wont do a reading on third parties like that. She wouldn't work with me on re-wording the question in some other way. I suggested she talk to her daughter about doing the reading together. 

I wont give medical advice, but I will help with spreads for stress and anxiety.

I wont give financial advice. Amazing how people will seriously ask a out lottery numbers. 

I've also learned the hard way of sports predictions.

I dont drink or do drugs so that's not an issue for me, but I wouldn't pay a reader that I know has to drink or smoke something before a reading. 

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Very direct financial, Legal and Medical Health advice that should be handled by a professional in that discipline I do not cover.

Must be 18 or older.

Must be functionally sober (fully sober preferred, but reasonably when reading at social venues)

all sessions are conducted with good intent.

 

If someone got insulting or obnoxious I would cut it off, but charging weeds out 99% of those types I think. Never had to sever the process.

 

That's all I've ever needed.

Edited by Wyrdkiss
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A lot of this depends on whether you're depending on readings for your entire income or not. When I was, and most of my business was from the lines, virtually every question I got was something that's been mentioned here as a subject people won't read on. Health, legal, other people, etc. You don't have the luxury of turning them away.

 

I have that luxury now, but none of that stuff fazes me enough to turn the client away. It's to be expected.

Edited by katrinka
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The truth is that in real life, the lines are often blurred. It's good to have boundaries and rules about what you feel comfortable with and know professionally what is legal or not. But there will always be readings which challenge that and blur the lines. For example, I suffer chronic health problems but don't ever ask for health readings professionally but often it comes up in readings because it's a big part of my life. I'm not asking for health advice or diagnosis of it but it's a part of me, all aspects of readings will relate in some way to it. Someone asking about a business going badly might have legal stuff creeping in but they are not asking for professional legal advice. What I've learned is that it's always more complicated than our boundaries in theory. My simple rule is not to do readings or read for someone that I feel uncomfortable about, Normally this can be resolved by changing the question or reading, like bringing it back to them rather than someone else or doing a "what do they need to know" about a situation rather than specific professional advice you are not qualified to give.

 

I try to be able to concentrate in my readings, I need a clear head, I can read when tipsy but not really under the influence or when really tired or very emotional. But some people read in a trance after taking things and it works for them. I find emotions and tiredness are the biggest issues that mess up a reading so I just leave it for the next day.

 

I think my major issue is repeating readings for people on the same topic. When people have emotional issues on a subject, they will ask and ask and they want to know a positive message but that isn't divination, it's wanting good news. So I am very wary of this or really space it out.

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Oh sure - I read for someone once - a general reading - and at the end just said in passing that one of the figures in the card has a weeping eye and they might be wise to see a doctor. It was spot on. But if they had asked for a reading on their eyes, I would have said no.

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7 hours ago, katrinka said:

A lot of this depends on whether you're depending on readings for your entire income or not. When I was, and most of my business was from the lines, virtually every question I got was something that's been mentioned here as a subject people won't read on. Health, legal, other people, etc. You don't have the luxury of turning them away.

 

I have that luxury now, but none of that stuff fazes me enough to turn the client away. It's to be expected.

 

I think my contribution may have been a bit vague.  Here's some examples:

 

$

a question that needs to be considerably re-directed: "should I invest in Microsoft stock?"

re-crafted question: " what are the reasons contributing to my spending money I don't have?"

 

Health:

 

a question that needs to be re-explored: " why can't I get pregnant?"

Re-crafted Question: " what does having a family mean to me?"

 

etc.  I think you get the gist.  I'm talking avoiding very, very literal professional consultation.

 

As for reading about others being so verboten to some of us, I fully embrace it.  In my eyes, all readings involves others -- or a Celtic Cross spread on how to personally cope with a divorce would be impossible.

I'm in the minority, however, as I will do actual remote assessment and pulls of other peoples energy,head space and intent.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Wyrdkiss
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I see what Gregory says about the eye issue and its great it worked out that way. But now, I'm curious about those of you who have done, and do readings others will not do, such as financial, health or third party readings, if you have ever had feedback from those sitters and what the outcomes have been. 

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I'll read on almost anything. With the only exceptions being medical advice (apart from for VERY close friends and family who I know won't act like idiots) or how to intentionally do harm to someone or something (not that I've been asked this). Other than that, it's all up for grabs. I don't even mind questions I find to be flakey as all hell.... like, "What is my 12th soul doing?". I just read what the cards say and leave my personal views out of it.

 

That  being said there are one or two people I just can't read for. As in I cant get a sensible answer from the cards.... despite trying over multiple sittings. I don;t know why this is.

 

P.S. I don't read professionally.

Edited by devin
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10 hours ago, Wyrdkiss said:

I think my contribution may have been a bit vague.  Here's some examples:

 

a question that needs to be considerably re-directed: "should I invest in Microsoft stock?"

re-crafted question: " what are the reasons contributing to my spending money I don't have?"

This is where we're very different. The sitter is asking if investing in Microsoft stock will be profitable. I'd answer that.
I wouldn't assume that they don't have the money. And if it was already established that they didn't, I wouldn't play armchair psychiatrist. I'm a card reader, not a mental health professional.

Quote

Health:

 

a question that needs to be re-explored: " why can't I get pregnant?"

Re-crafted Question: " what does having a family mean to me?"

 

The thing is, that's not what the person asked. If I was a client and a reader refused to answer my questions and changed everything to something else, I'd be very annoyed, to say the least. I'd find another reader. I don't see the logic in viewing health readings as unethical, but going on to psychoanalyze the client using cards, and without the necessary degrees and certifications.

No offense intended by any of this. It's just my two cents.

 

Quote

etc.  I think you get the gist.  I'm talking avoiding very, very literal professional consultation.

People in their right mind know they're talking to fortunetellers, and they know that even the best occasionally get something wrong. Give them a little credit.

If you're worried about legal hot water, consider the case of a woman who attempted to sue a reader because the reader told her that her husband was cancer free. She stopped treatment, he died. The judge threw it out, saying she should have given priority to what the doctors said over what the fortuneteller said.

Give clients the disclaimer that what you are about to say is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a medical professional, and that even if 85% of the readings are on point, that leaves a 15% margin of error.

Some people ask these because they can't afford health care, some are just doing it for fun: "Am I pregnant?" could be answered by a dollar store pregnancy test, and that's a lot cheaper than a reading. You just have to play it by ear and do the best you can.

 

Quote

As for reading about others being so verboten to some of us, I fully embrace it.  In my eyes, all readings involves others -- or a Celtic Cross spread on how to personally cope with a divorce would be impossible.

I'm in the minority, however, as I will do actual remote assessment and pulls of other peoples energy,head space and intent.

Talking about people who are not present is the same as reading about them. Do these people who won't read on others also refuse to discuss other people in a non-reading situation? Do they never tell their friends about their kids' accomplishments, speculate as to why so-and-so hasn't been showing up for work, inquire about the well-being of mutual friends. etc.? I have never encountered a human capable of speech who didn't talk about people.

Card reading ethics are the same as regular ethics, AFAIC. If we can talk about it, we can read on it.

 

Edited by katrinka
fixed typo
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9 hours ago, devin said:

I'll read on almost anything. With the only exceptions being medical advice (apart from for VERY close friends and family who I know won't act like idiots) or how to intentionally do harm to someone or something (not that I've been asked this).

I have. I had a caller who wanted to have sex with his girlfriend's 12 year old son.
That's not something I would help anyone with in a non-reading situation, and it's one of the only questions I've refused.
It was via one of the lines, so I reported it to the company since I had no way of knowing who or where he was.
Confidentiality is vital, but there's a limit.

9 hours ago, devin said:

Other than that, it's all up for grabs. I don't even mind questions I find to be flakey as all hell.... like, "What is my 12th soul doing?". I just read what the cards say and leave my personal views out of it.

 

Yeah. I used to get a lot of soulmate questions. I don't really believe in soulmates. Sometimes you really do have to just step back and tell 'em what the cards say.

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9 hours ago, Joe said:

I see what Gregory says about the eye issue and its great it worked out that way. But now, I'm curious about those of you who have done, and do readings others will not do, such as financial, health or third party readings, if you have ever had feedback from those sitters and what the outcomes have been. 

The feedback is overwhelmingly positive. This is how you get repeat clients: stick your neck out and be accurate.

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5 hours ago, katrinka said:

 

 

Talking about people who are not present is the same as reading about them. Do these people who won't read on others also refuse to discuss other people in a non-reading situation? Do they never tell their friends about their kids' accomplishments, speculate as to why so-and-so hasn't been showing up for work, inquire about the well-being of mutual friends. etc.? I have never encountered a human capable of speech who didn't talk about people.

 

If it wasn't clear, you are proving my point. Preaching to the choir. Read that portion of my post more closely  -- I agree with you on this.

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9 hours ago, katrinka said:

I have. I had a caller who wanted to have sex with his girlfriend's 12 year old son.
That's not something I would help anyone with in a non-reading situation, and it's one of the only questions I've refused.
It was via one of the lines, so I reported it to the company since I had no way of knowing who or where he was.
Confidentiality is vital, but there's a limit.

UNBELIEVABLE! I really hope the guy got nailed somehow. If memory serves, I think even priests are allowed/expected to break confessional confidentiality if someone tells them they're going to commit a serious crime. 

 

Also, you hit the nail on the head: Why are card (or magical) ethics any different to everyday, mundane ethics?

Edited by devin
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