Opinions Please! Is The Very Obvious Answer Trustworthy or Wish Fulfillment?

[zedekiel]

(TDLR the simple question is the final statement of this post, everything else is background info)
As of beginning my studies in Tarot again after about a decade of not looking at the cards, I'm getting a firm grasp on learning each of the cards meanings. My most recent trouble that has come up is trusting my reading of the full spread itself. I'm sure over time I will become more confident in seeing the bigger picture of my spreads, but for now I've come upon a blockage that I think would help to hear how other people handle. I've always had a bit of an issue with divination of any kind - that being where if the outcome is a positive one I immediately become unsure of if I have read it correctly, because I wonder if maybe I only see it as positive because it's what I want. I say this just as a little bit of my mental background on this.

The situation: I did a 5 card "Finding Love" spread asking about what the experience would be of finding my next partner. I was not too focused on immediacy, just curious as to what the cards had to say, even if it was about someone in the distant future, and I've been trying different spreads everyday for fun and practice.

By the 3rd card there was someone in my life who the spread was reminding me of (in the 2nd card placement, the 3 of Coins was shown, indicating it was possible I already knew the person/had established a foundation with them by this point). Not someone I've had too much of an eye on, but who I do admire as an individual. By the 5th card, the whole spread seemed almost to SCREAM this specific person.

 

I know that there's always room for error, either in my own perception or other (the 3 of Coins could be saying that I'm going to build a strong foundation with them first, rather than I have already for example), but I'm not sure how to view things when they show up like this, and I'd love to hear some opinions as I'm sure they will again. The message on action from this spread was very clear to me: don't force or push anything. My next love will come about from patient connection that grows with the flow of working together, rather than wooing or courting or trying to instill romantic attention in whoever it is that I'm drawn to.

So it's not that I'm confused about the message, it feels very clear to me. But I guess I was wondering, when you do readings on yourself and the answers seem gut-punched easy to understand, is that a good sign that you've read them correctly or does it feel like it comes about from bias, like a sub conscious wish fulfillment?

[ashjey]

I feel like this happens to me a lot too. Sometimes I might do a spread and see the cards show up positively and I doubt it. But for me, tarot is definitely not the end all be all of life...or whatever. I mean, sometimes I pull a really destructive, gloomy, and negative spread of cards and I'll be like oh that's a load of crap. Why should it not be the same for positive spreads? 

 

I think the best way to deal with this would be to record your readings and your thoughts about it, and then later if the reading came true, or not, go back and record the results on it. Then over time, you'll know when your intuition has failed you and when it hasn't, and which ones are just "sub conscious wish fulfillment". 

[zedekiel]

7 hours ago, ashjey said:

I feel like this happens to me a lot too. Sometimes I might do a spread and see the cards show up positively and I doubt it. But for me, tarot is definitely not the end all be all of life...or whatever. I mean, sometimes I pull a really destructive, gloomy, and negative spread of cards and I'll be like oh that's a load of crap. Why should it not be the same for positive spreads? 

 

I think the best way to deal with this would be to record your readings and your thoughts about it, and then later if the reading came true, or not, go back and record the results on it. Then over time, you'll know when your intuition has failed you and when it hasn't, and which ones are just "sub conscious wish fulfillment". 

Yes! I've been recording quite consistently for this exact reason. I suppose I haven't been reading long enough to get to look back at my notes yet haha, so this all still seems a bit BIG in the unknown. I guess that's just what patience is for! Thanks so much for your response!

[Arabella]

Thought I would jump in ... this is why I find it very hard to read for myself. I always struggle with this exact thought. "is this true of just what I want to hear?" I seem to be able to read for others quite well and exchange readings here all the time. I get great feedback from those readings. So how come I cant get good results for myself? 

I have found a solution that is working well for me recently - I ask the question as if from Arabella. That's not my real name 🙂  I'm not sure anyone here has a username that is their real name. So I ask "what does Arabella need to know about ... ?" I'm getting much better results this way.

Just a thought, maybe give it a try.

A ❤️ 
 

[gregory]

I never read for myself - I am acutely aware of this as an issue, and also - if I don't hear what I hoped, it is so easy to say hey wait - that could actually be about this OTHER situation...

[zedekiel]

@Arabella and @gregory thank you so much for putting in your thoughts! I guess the thing is that I haven't been having much trouble in general reading for myself. I seem to be pretty strict in following my own rules, and have found answers in the cards whether I've liked them personally or not (I mean, at this point I really do like all the answers because even if it's something that I wasn't hoping for, I always remind myself that the benefit to the situation might not be clear to me at this moment, and then I feel thankful knowing the unwanted situation most definitely will have something to be gained from, even if it's in the distant future). I think it's more the issue of... As I'm starting to learn the cards better and better, the reading is coming faster to me, and I don't have to spend so much time analyzing and squinting over each card and its meaning. But in these cases of FLASH-BANG-BOOM-TA-DA where the answer feels almost immediate and hits hard, I guess I'm trying to figure out if that's a good sign of my reading development or not?

Maybe it would help me to ask the question by catering to your guys' experience. When you read for others and not yourselves, is there moments where the reading is incredibly blatant and clear, with little doubt or second guessing (I think we all second guess ourselves a bit a lot of the time, but for the most part i mean)? And if those kinds of readings occur, do they seem to fit well for the person receiving the reading?