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About truthseeker65

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  1. Well then....you felt insulted and so did I....I don't think my questions were "silly" ... I am very appreciative of all the help you gave me Grandma ... but clearly, once again, I'm not allowed to express my feelings ... thank,s deleting this bookmark.
  2. What? I'm being serious and you guys are joking or slamming me? WTH? Wow. Sorry for asking.
  3. Hi gang...so...I've been practicing doing yes/no card pulls and frankly, I'm wondering what's going on with the universal energies. I can't even get them to properly answer baseline questions such as... Am I alive? (should be a yes card - came up maybe the first time and no the 2nd) Am I a woman? (came up maybe) Am I 35 years old? (came up maybe the 1st time, no the 2nd, and maybe the 3rd) I tried this with three different decks. I have cleansed each one and I am stumped as to what is going on. Anyone have any insight?
  4. Thank you everyone....I have made some progress since I last posted. I've realized my fear of change (and it's a big one) is part of what is holding me back. I'm so afraid of change, that even good change, success, is scaring me. That and past "failures" make me assume that I will just fail again.
  5. Hey everyone, I haven't disappeared off the planet...just been having highs and lows health wise, some depression (this rainy weather is not helping me) ... still feeling frustrated... looking for hope and trying to hold on until I find it. I don't want to speak to professionals as for me, talk is cheap...talk talk talk ... it's all I do...round and round...like I said before, I"m a woman of action and if I can't tackle a problem head on with a solution, I get frustrated and that's when the depression sets in. I try meditating ... I get bored ... listening to music helps sometimes, but it makes me restless ... there is only so much Netflix I can watch or books to read or games to play to distract me. So, I guess I'm still in the same place I was when I started this thread. Just wish something good would happen, something positive, some forward movement ... even a little every week would make it better. Anyway, thanks again for listening! I'm not really just a whiney sad sack ...
  6. Thanks everyone....just to clarify....when I say I have been "planting seeds" I refer to my career. For the last 5 years I've been doing everything to improve my craft (screenwriting) by taking courses and just writing and getting feedback. I started a Twitter feed to connect with other writers and industry pros. Been working with a script consultant to get my current project ready to go. So, I've been doing all these things and progress has been made, it's just really really really slow. As for my personal life, that's on hold for a few reasons; money (I'm currently disabled and awaiting a hip op so mobility is limited and I can't work outside the home currently), having no job and limited social activity is wearing on me...being social means money in most cases (movies, meals out, the like) and my closest friends don't do social things much as one has 2 jobs and a family and the other works retails so crazy hours. My social life is limited to seeing them when they have time and mostly we hang out at one of our places. I'm mostly okay with this but there are times when I get super lonely and need live human contact. As for my health, that's the one that frustrates me the most. I have to wait, wait for doctor appointments (specialists), wait for tests, and so on and so on...so my limited mobility means I'm not myself ... i have had to adapt to a new persona, one that is less social and active in the world...(see above for reasons). And I had another friend do a Lenormand reading for me last fall, and his assessment was that all the things I want are coming and i was doing all the right things.... He told me I had to get more active to help keep my health from getting worse, which I do now (can't walk but I have an exercise bike). He told me that my soul mate was a man who was an old soul but younger than me, divorced with 3 sons. He said he was an actor, or he actually said his profession was that he was a historical renactor (which can be interpreted as actor) and I wouldn't meet him until my career got really going. he told me my career was going in the right direction and to just keep working at it. Again, some of my problem is patience. I like to see immediate results and get frustrated when they drag their heels. So, thanks for listening and don't worry. I just go through these low periods where I get depressed and lonely and frustrated. Thank you all for listening.
  7. Truthseeker65 here...lately, I've tried not to ask the cards the same questions I always ask as I've had those questions answered time and again, and the answers are essentially the same. Success is coming, I will achieve my dreams/goals, love is coming, patience, an older man/woman will guide me/assist me in business, better health is coming...all great things. The cards keep telling me that it will happen soon. Soon to me is within a number of weeks or even a short few months (like 3 - 5, though 5 is pushing it for "soon"). But it never seems to come, to materialize. I follow the advice of the cards but I just get so sad and frustrated and impatient with waiting. I've been waiting/striving towards/moving towards these same things for so long now, years, and still nothing. My life was on track, or so i thought, until my mother passed away 18 years ago, then my father needed me and so I waited some more. And then he passed and that was 8 years ago. Yet here I am, still waiting for the seeds I have been planting/have planted to mature and come to fruition. I'm not getting any younger and I get sadder and more frustrated and more lonely every day. I feel like I fall further and further behind in my life and wonder why everyone else I know has success (they have set backs too but I seem to only have setbacks) and yet here I am, at the bottom, still looking for my way to a better life for myself. I just don't know what to do anymore. Some days I just feel like I should stay in bed and accept my fate of being at the bottom of life. I am an 11/11/6 life path...so apparently that means I chose this hard life. Well, I would like a different choice now please. I would like some of the good things I keep getting told are coming to me, that I have worked towards. Mother's/Father's/Birth day's are always harder and illuminate how far behind in life I am. I know it's stupid to say it's not fair, but it's not fair. I'm tired. I'm so so tired. I just want some positive upward movement, something obvious, something sustainable. Anyway, I'll stop whining now. Thank you to anyone who read this and read all the way to the end. I appreciate it. It's hard not telling anyone in my life how I truly feel, because they love me and don't want me to be sad, but they have no actionable advice to give me. And telling me "it's okay, we love you, keep trying, it will get better" just doesn't help anymore. Almost 20 years of falling down wears you out. I'm worn out.
  8. Thank you Thanks ... I appreciate it.
  9. Thank you Thoughtful Thanks....something to think on Thank you....and I did have a nice dinner with the one person who didn't let me down....BBQ brisket and red velvet cake made it better Thank you Saturn..taht cake looks yummy lol Feeling a little better this morning...trying to be understanding of other people's lives...living alone with only the cat for companionship (as much as I adore my little Fiona) sometimes makes things a lonely. Here's to hoping the next year gets better. Thank you all.
  10. Thanks...hopefully the year improves from here on out..not expecting it to be perfect..just with some better moments. Thank you ... Thanks....I hope so too. That sounds like a good idea...I'll b3 turning 55 then....so maybe plan something special.
  11. I would love that Purple Pixie...still feeling low this morning...like I'm not on anyone's priority list...
  12. So today is my birthday (may 3) and it was not the best of days. A lot of Facebook well wishers...one phone call from my cousin saying she was cancelling our plans. No call from my family in Texas. Feeling really depressed and too afraid to do a birthday reading for myself. Worst birthday I've had, ever. I suppose it could be worse. I could be in hospital, or homeless or something ...
  13. Oh Page of Cups, you are speaking my language. I have found that scammers have one good instinct...they know when they meet the real deal. They know when they meet someone who won't buy their bullsh!t and they just don't like you. I got that same feeling from the person who I originally spoke about. It was like she knew I was figuring out her bull, and that I have a small gift and that I my intuition was better than hers. It was like she wanted to drive me away and that's hard for me. I too am good at reading for others but I struggle to get an objective look at a reading for myself. I've been so grateful to have this place and such intuitive and kind readers help me with my self readings. It has helped me with my self doubt and anxiety so very much. I'm sorry you had this awful experience. I don't go to psychic fairs anymore either...I know most of them are fakes and frankly, the person whom I originally posted about also goes to them and I know she's a fake.
  14. Hi Daniel...I use crystals ... I have specific crystals...for cleansing the deck and my psyche and environment ... I have stones that relate to healing both emotional as well as physical ... I have stones that relate to the topics that interest me such as money and luck. I keep them with my deck. If it helps you to focus, then use them.
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