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Author Topic: Accidentally uncovering some unpleasant secrets  (Read 331 times)

EmpyreanKnight

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Accidentally uncovering some unpleasant secrets
« on: August 06, 2018, 08:18:01 AM »
Do you read for people who you know in real life, maybe with someone you're close to, who's a friend or a relative? When reading for them, have you ever stumbled upon something that's rather discomfitting, like in a reading about how their Christmas visit with the in-laws would go, as you're exploring a tangential question about their relationship you accidentally found out with utmost conviction that their SO is having an affair. Or you found out that they've been rather profligate and they don't want the other party (and especially you) to know about their swan-diving joint account.

Have you ever encountered situations like this? Like you'd really want to warn them about it but you know they'd hate that you know it, or that they'd be devastated that they themselves were kept in the dark by the offending party? Do you risk your friendship or amicable familial relations or do you just stick to their question, to hell with all else?
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ToadieOdie

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Re: Accidentally uncovering some unpleasant secrets
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2018, 08:39:21 AM »
With my family... I know that I would need to keep my mouth shut about it until I had actual, tangible proof on the matter. Otherwise everyone - and I mean everyone - would crucify me and it wouldn't matter if I was right or not. >:( Especially the guilty party. And then they'd used the turmoil to cover their tracks.
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hierophant

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Re: Accidentally uncovering some unpleasant secrets
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2018, 08:47:05 AM »
I don't have a lot of tarot experience, but I've been learning from a close family member. She does not read for me, but refer me to someone else if I want a reading.

She also told me to not read for family or friends, unless they explicitly ask for it, and then only read on whatever question they have.

She also told me to ask any sitter "do you want to know everything?". I haven't been really good at following this advice, but I think it us a good one.

I was also told that it's okay to say "I could be wrong about this, I could be mistaken about this card" to allow the sitter to brush it off if they need to.

I'm really vary of reading for people I know. But I guess it's up to them.

Styx

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Re: Accidentally uncovering some unpleasant secrets
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2018, 04:02:29 AM »
I did not exactly uncover a terrible secret, but I made a gross mistake once: I agreed to read the cards of both members of a couple, while they were both present and listening to each other's reading. It was meant as a non too serious activity - and I learnt the hard way that the wry humour of tarot is not meant to make us feel comfortable.  ::)

They were about to move to the wife's family home. All her cards were about tradition, the weight of ancestry, etc. Quite easy to interpret, nothing particularly intimate there (well, intimate but already quite well-known to the three of us).
The husband's cards, however... They talked about sex so LOUDLY. His main hope for their new life was clearly that they would reconnect in the bedroom. (Going back to that home was linked to a choice in career and in a whole way of life.) In a way, it was a beautiful reading, full of love and lust, but I was so embarrassed. I think I gave a toned-down version of what I saw and honestly, I was a somehow unethical reader on that day. I would behave differently now (and first, I wouldn't do a reading in those circumstances...). But oooooh, that big, bold Ace of wands...  ::)

sandrang123

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Re: Accidentally uncovering some unpleasant secrets
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2018, 08:24:57 AM »
It's unfortunate, but it happens. I just read someone in my family a few weeks ago and uncovered some disturbing things about her dissatisfaction with home life. It sucks because she's an in-law, which basically means I'm picking up on things that have to do with an immediate family member. But what is discussed in tarot readings stays in tarot readings. In those cases, though, I tend to say just enough so they know what I'm getting at without being totally blunt. (Usually it translates and the person knows what you're saying about delicate things.)

I don't often have a friend or family member get offended that I mention something they'd prefer I NOT know. I mean, Christ, they asked for the reading...what did they expect? Still, it has happened a few times, here and there.

I think, too, it can be doubly difficult if you channel or are an intuitive, because the cards, while in-and-of themselves are providing information, are also providing an access point for channeling more information than even an asked question. This used to happen, too, in my astrology classes, when we'd have access (with permission, obviously) to people's natal charts. I'd see the chart and would be piecing together more technical information, such as house placements, planets, aspects and what they might mean, etc., and I'd start getting channeled info. A birth chart just invites that right in!
« Last Edit: August 08, 2018, 08:30:15 AM by sandrang123 »
Leo Sun, Pisces Moon, Libra Rising. 25+ years reading tarot. Always learning. :)

DanielJUK

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Re: Accidentally uncovering some unpleasant secrets
« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2018, 08:04:11 AM »
in my own life, I accidentally found out a family secret about my family doing a tarot reading! I want to respect my families privacy and not go into too much detail, but my Father had a step family that he cut off when I was about 6 years old, I remember visiting their big country rural house as a child. This action seemed not like my Father at all and I knew a few things about what happened but it was a mystery and he didn't like to talk about it at all.

A few years ago, someone on that side of the family died and I was on a reading break from tarot, I was doing no reading for myself for a month to have a rest. I did one reading that month for someone in a circle on AT and they couldn't relate to the reading at all. I was so confident about the reading but they couldn't see a single thing in their life. 3 months later, my Father had got in touch with some of the kids from the family at the funeral and both our families healed with later generations. I found out that my reading had a key to the secret, it had all the Queens in it and fighting, such fighting! It seems like the Mother and Grandmother in this family fought for power as matriarchs and the Grandmother was extremely manipulative and unpredictable. The reading told me everything I needed to understand about it before I found out more! My Father cut them off to predict his young family from their power playing. A lot of their side of the family were damaged or had trauma from these people as well.

But for reading for other people, this is a case by case basis decision. Sometimes you should tell them what you see and sometimes you should perhaps not share it. Learning about a secret and processing it can be important and healing, they always come out in the end! You can gently hint some things you see but you have to judge the situation. I didn't understand the reading that forced through for me for months later, it made no sense at the time! But it was so helpful for me to understand everything, it played out what was going on at the time that no one would ever tell me :)
"The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet" - Andy Warhol

TheTarotRaven

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Re: Accidentally uncovering some unpleasant secrets
« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2018, 06:51:59 AM »
It really honestly depends on how much I care about my family and friends. Some I am extremely close to and would protect with my life and others I know can kinda deal with the answers on their own. I just have to be really careful when reading for the different people I know

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gregory

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Re: Accidentally uncovering some unpleasant secrets
« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2018, 01:32:22 PM »
I won't do it. Except for one specific tarot friend. Not least because whatever question they ask, I probably have an opinion, and I would never be SURE that that hadn't influenced me.
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Wanderer

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Re: Accidentally uncovering some unpleasant secrets
« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2018, 02:10:25 PM »
Not knowing any better, I've sometimes read for friends and (rarely, mostly for curiosity rather than serious queries) for family. One friend in particular has had four or five readings now, over a few years, and they were getting increasingly awkward. Imagine the sort of person for whom things often go a little awry at work, because some people find her difficult and abrasive... but in her mind it's all the other people being vindictive or prejudiced. The cards became progressively clearer that when this is a general pattern then problem might be closer to home!

Strangely, having the advice coming in the form of a reading was the only way that it could have worked. One can try to drop hints in normal conversation, and it slides off or causes offence. In the reading, it's not me the person being the bearer of uncomfortable information, but the cards, and somehow this is acceptable. It's almost like a confessional, in the sense that what is discussed there doesn't affect our friendship outside of the readings. Perhaps it helps that when I'm reading I tend to be serious and remote, as if I'm not entirely the same person as normal.

It's not happened to me yet, but if uncovering an awkward secret that was relevant, I'd try to deal with it obliquely: give them enough information to know what I was talking about, and try not to give away that I knew what exactly it was. If it wasn't relevant, then it would be my burden and no-one else's.

ilweran

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Re: Accidentally uncovering some unpleasant secrets
« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2018, 08:37:20 AM »
I read for someone close to me once. The cards suggested her partner would be unfaithful or would attempt to be unfaithful. I didn't tell her.

He later made a pass at me, which was just horrible.

They split up a long time ago. I've never said anything.

The experience made me a lot warier of reading for others.
Only in silence the word, only in dark the light, only in dying life: bright the hawk's flight on the empty sky.

(Ursula K. Le Guin, A Wizard of Earthsea)