We could probably all write a doctoral thesis about family relationships; we're all experts on that specific topis, and even people with complex, absent or alienated family histories know a lot about families and how they work.

For my reading, I used the Tarot of Oppositions, a very special deck that depicts the light and shadow side of each cards. Obviously, you can use any deck that you like, and keep in mind to look at the reversed meaning of each card. Remember that within a family, others see our weak points, shadow, and some see ONLY the dark sides of their other family members. So look at every card, and reverse it. If it's reversed, turn it upright during the reading. Interpret each card as upright AND reversed. I found that the Tarot of Oppositions is a very powerful tool for this kind of reading.

I wanted to create a spread that allows me to uncover some deep-seated, recurring patterns of conflict and harmony between my own core family (my husband, me and our four adult children), and perhaps others may take ideas and inspiration from the spread that I have developed. You can take its basic idea and adapt it to your own situation, goals and questions.

Inspired by Nancy Hendrickson's work with ancestors, I used a split deck for an in-depth reading about family dynamics. (Of course, any other close-knit group of people can be explored using this technique, you can use it just for yourself or a two-people relationship. I find it especially helpful for family relationship as the connections within the family are complex, conflicts can have deep roots, and we know each other well, but none of us knows everything about the other.)

The court cards represent the personality and character traits of the person in question.

Two majors represent their life topics, conflicts, deepest interests and life journey.

One minor card represents the behaviour in certain situations and within the relationship pattern of the family group.

As always, it's possible to adapt the number of cards, to use only one major or add another minor. I didn't want to get a bloated reading, so I restricted court cards and minors to one, but for the important life topics, one card didn't seem enough.

We ar six people, so a six-pointed star seemed a good geometric pattern for the cards. There is a male triangle for my husband and two sons, and a female triangle for myself and our two daughters.

This is how it looks.

My basic geometric body for our family - depending on the size of the group that you wish to explore, you may wish to adapt star-shaped, square or round shapes for this spread. I recommend using a shape that has a defined center - I put a major arcana for the main topic of the family, or the current situation, or the challenge we are facing right now.

For our family, this is how it looks: a male triangle, a female triangle, and a center.

You can also see that there is an outer shell (the roles we play, the personalities that also person outside of the family recognise), and we go more and more inside as we continue to read the cards.

These are the court cards for each of us. Indeed, if I remember my biology lessons, this outer shell of court cards works like a semi-permeable membrane that separates the family from the outside world. Some of the feelings and secrets are kept inside, but influences from the outside reach us all the time.

I'll split this post into several chapters to make it more easily digestible.

We now move on to the major arcana.

I assigned two majors to each of us because we're complex beings, and our life topics and issues often stem from inner conflicts, or inner drives that push and pull us into different directions. I have to add that I was completely blown away by the cards - each single card in this reading gave me key insights into our family dynamics and what motivates and moves each of us, and I learned a lot about my children.

So this is a very rich layer. Again, thinking back to my biology lessons and the structure of a cell, we might call these majors the mitochondria of the cell - each member generates energy by the conflicting forces within him. One of my sons has the Hierophant and the Magician to propel him forwards in life, and indeed I see both tendencies in him.

Now we come to the more intimate part - the behaviour within the family, the things we share and we fight about. And wow, in spite of my peaceful Queen of Cups and Empress, my behaviour is reflected by the Ace of Swords - I can wound with words. Of course, this Ace is also about truth, honesty and clarity, but looking at its shadow side confronted me with an uncomfortable truth about myself.

After you feel that you have explored the personalities involved, start interpreting the relationships between them.

For example, what is the relationship between my middle children? My son comes into the family dynamic with a Five of Pentacles, feeling deprived and neglected, while my daughter brings her prosperous, self-assured Nine of Pentacles. (In this deck, this card depicts two people which deflects from the Splendid Isolation we see so often on this card.)

As I said above - if I wanted to go into more depth here, I could definitely draw more minors to get the nuances and special relationships, but in my case, these six minors gave me a wealth of information. (I could have used two minors: one for what each of us gives, and the second for what we receive and take in.)

The central card is the nucleus of the cell, where the DNA and shared characteristics sit, but also the ability of the cell to survie or not. I decided to use a major card for this position. Lo and behold, it's the Wheel of Fortune. Now the whole reading looks like a machine that moves slowly, all its parts are connected and interdependent. If there are problems between two members, nothing works properly.

This is a close-up on one person (my husband). We have the upright cards: his court card personality (Queen of Swords), the majors (Hermit, Lovers) and the minor: Four of Pentacles.

I interpret them in upright position first, and then I look at the shadow aspect. Using the Tarot of Oppositions, this is easy, but as I said, it will work with any deck that you know well.

I hope this spread I crafted for my family can help you do something similar for yours, or for any other group of people.

I used simple stick-it notes with names for the spread positions, but the reading may be even more powerful if you use pictures. I also have tiny wooden game figures that I might have used. But a simple piece of paper works as well.

Another variation might be that you don't draw cards but pick at least part of them, for example picking the court cards according to zodiac signs and age. However, I decided to draw cards and wait for surprises.

Have fun with this!

This one is proper, extremely so.

Uncluttered, direct, advantageous for the reader - and the cell-analogy!

I like this a lot.

I just returned from a family gathering and can't wait to give this a try. Thank you for sharing, @Nemia !