Why do I have the feeling someone wants me to stop

[Vasixlisa]

Hey :)

 

i already wrote about getting a weird feeling whenever i am touching my run oracle. I only scrachted at the surface of white magic, I always avoided getting deeper into the whole magical and spiritual stuff because of that feeling that i cant describe, but everytime i am getting drawn to it again and everytime it is stronger.

Thats why i tried again today after avoiding this topics for months and from a new i got this strange feeling, but this time i may be able to tell, what it means... i got the feeling someone is trying to stop me from dicking deeper, becoming more comfortable with all of it. I am not sure if that one wants to stop me because he wants to protect me from something or just doesnt want me because i may be good at it and maybe get to know something he doesnt want me to - in a negative way, so maybe i discover something bad or... gosh i dont know but this feeling is pulling me down

 

can someone may give me some advance, some instructions on getting in contact with this whoever he is because this time i dont want to stop here, i want to know what that means, but i dont know enough yet - please help me

 

[Arch]

Hey welcome to the forum.

 

Your case was interesting so I will give it a shot.

 

Explaining feelings of being watched can be tricky as different interpretations of the world color how we perceive what is happening.

I've read your 4 posts so far who all make reference to your issue,

so I'll try to keep my explanation to the realm of angels, devils and demons.

Black and white and so forth.

 

The first symbol I want to show you is the Tai-Chi symbol containing the black (yin) and white (yang).

 

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_-TnhQF5IWrI/So9RzYK8wgI/AAAAAAAAAIg/mKdba-p5BLg/s320/Tai+Chi+Symbol.gif[/img]

 

Cause what to me seems to be your problem is that you are caught up in a very black and white universe.

Meaning that you filter out all other colors of the spectrum and only really listen to those two.

So the white voices and the black voices become very loud in your world.

But as the Tai-Chi symbol suggests, white can become black and black can become white.

 

The white voices can be called many things, but since you are already so inclined, let us call them angels.

While the black voices would be fallen angels, devils or even demons.

I would term the fallen black, the devils orange and the demons purple.

To differentiate them from each other, because they have very different agendas.

 

But most likely you only hear the stuggle beween the white and the black fallen angels.

Now I do not know your history, so I have very little contextual information of what this run in with the oracle deck signifies.

For you, and for the angels.

But the resistance means that some of them feel that their purpose would be thwarted by it.

You referred to the practice you want to start as being "white".

 

I only scrachted at the surface of white magic, I always avoided getting deeper into the whole magical and spiritual stuff because of that feeling that i cant describe, but everytime i am getting drawn to it again and everytime it is stronger.

 

Now logic would then tell us that those who have the most to lose from you going down a white path is the black fallen angels.

It would remove you more and more from their sphere of influence.

So naturally they would use every string they got to try and stop you.

Depending on their level of control of you, this might become ugly.

You might naturally wonder how these fallen ones got their hooks into you,

and my guess is that they where not yet fallen when you first met them.

But now that they are fallen and black, they care not for the pure purpose you once shared.

 

At this point I was unsure about what to say, but luckily I have a tarot deck (Modern Spellcasters deck) and consulted it for clues.

 

Past: Ace of swords

 

 

This first card points to the mental realm, and to the start being there.

I can only deduce that your problem has its start in some kind of issue with reason in the past.

Maybe you encountered or even called on a higher power in relation to this issue,

and whatever aid you got, has now turned to the dark side.

 

Present: Page of wands

 

 

The page of wands suggests the creative impulse that you want to explore with the cards.

It may be that the guardian of your mental realm views creative activity as coming in the way of reason.

Then it wouldn't have turned to the dark side, but actually just trying to do the job it was set to do.

Namely protect your mental/reasonable/thinking interests.

 

Future: The tower

 

 

Whatever the reason for the angel to interfere, this order cannot stand,

at least if you want to move forward with your new quest.

If the angel is white you may just thank it for the assistance and tell it that you need no more help.

If it is black, you can either just ignore it, and go ahead, and face whatever fight it puts up.

In the end you will win if it realizes it cannot stop you.

Or you can call on other white angels to banish it from your sphere.

The fallout of either option can turn out unplesant, as no battle is pretty,

even if conducted by angels.

 

I hope my take on it, was of some use to you.  ;)

[Tarotphelia]

can someone may give me some advance, some instructions on getting in contact with this whoever he is because this time i dont want to stop here, i want to know what that means, but i dont know enough yet - please help me

 

Getting in contact with whatever it is might not be such a good idea , since that might give it more energy and permission to get more involved with you .

 

Try clearing yourself and your space before working with your oracles. Make it clear that nothing negative has the authority or the ability to interfere with your progress.

[Aldor44]

Even though by no means am I an expert- but I do have experience in working and communicating with lets call them" higher entitites".

I am not into Christianity ( or any other institutionalized religion for this matter) so I don't use the term angels or deamons- I view this as higher and lower energies.

 

As for what you are describing this can result from some deep inner fears that you might not be aware of- that clash with the higher self- who is trying to push you towards something that will promote growth- in which case all you need to do is persevere- despite your inner doubts and fears.

 

If the source is external- say originating from a lower energy - a cleansing would be good, as well as putting energetic protections over yourself at all time- and the most important thing is the belief that you cannot be harmed by them- becuase by doing so you rise above the energetic frequency on which they operate-  because when you fear it you think of it more and start believing in their power to harm you- thus lowering yourself to their frequency and in effect giving them more power over you.

 

Hope I explained myself clearly enough..

 

Good luck

[Raggydoll]

can someone may give me some advance, some instructions on getting in contact with this whoever he is because this time i dont want to stop here, i want to know what that means, but i dont know enough yet - please help me

 

Getting in contact with whatever it is might not be such a good idea , since that might give it more energy and permission to get more involved with you .

 

Try clearing yourself and your space before working with your oracles. Make it clear that nothing negative has the authority or the ability to interfere with your progress.

 

I second this, especially since you mention being new to the craft. I would recommend that you start with reading and learning about the basics, such as how to maintain a strong spiritual/psychological barrier (there are LOTS of exercises if you google it, so try some and see which ones seem most effective to you) and how to create sacred ritual space. Even if this thing you are experiencing turns out to be 'just' some repressed psychological (shadow) material or even fear/prejudice (your own or projected from others) then basic precautions will still be of benefit. And please update us on how things are going for you <3

[Vasixlisa]

I hope my take on it, was of some use to you.  ;)

 

 

Hello Arch, thank you for what you said :)

 

I never wanted to divide between black and white, but while reading your answere I`ve noticed that I might did it unconciously.

 

What you said about the angles makes sense to me. I don`t know how much you believe in guardian angle and such things, but I for my part have a strong bounding with them. It makes sense, that the fallen ones have a great hook on me since, two of my three guardian angel are fallen ones (I also know now, that one of them hasn`t fallen as I got to notice them... which kinda makes me sad, but also I think he is happier, where he is now... nevermind this is another topic to discuss)

 

But there is one thing about your answer, that made me shiver. Your card reading... those three cards, Ace of swords, page of wands and the tower... I did ONE tarot reading for myself at the time I started getting into all of this, after that I never touch tarot cards again...and the cards I drew back then are the exact same. I didn`t know what they ment back then, but seeing you drewing these cards now for me, make me believe, they have a greater meaning to my person.

 

I did a - let`s call it session, evenso I don`t really know what it was because I just acted out of intution - today and the feeling that someone wants me to stop was gone. Maybe I wasn`t ready the last times or did something not wrong but without the needed intution... thanks for your great answere it was really helpfull for me

[Vasixlisa]

 

As for what you are describing this can result from some deep inner fears that you might not be aware of- that clash with the higher self- who is trying to push you towards something that will promote growth- in which case all you need to do is persevere- despite your inner doubts and fears.

 

If the source is external- say originating from a lower energy - a cleansing would be good, as well as putting energetic protections over yourself at all time- and the most important thing is the belief that you cannot be harmed by them- becuase by doing so you rise above the energetic frequency on which they operate-  because when you fear it you think of it more and start believing in their power to harm you- thus lowering yourself to their frequency and in effect giving them more power over you.

 

Thank you, for your advice,

 

I will not let the feeling come back! At todays session it was finally gone - maybe I wasn`t ready yet the last times...

 

also, I will makes sure to keep my protection always with me!

 

Again, thank you

[Vasixlisa]

can someone may give me some advance, some instructions on getting in contact with this whoever he is because this time i dont want to stop here, i want to know what that means, but i dont know enough yet - please help me

 

Getting in contact with whatever it is might not be such a good idea , since that might give it more energy and permission to get more involved with you .

 

Try clearing yourself and your space before working with your oracles. Make it clear that nothing negative has the authority or the ability to interfere with your progress.

 

I second this, especially since you mention being new to the craft. I would recommend that you start with reading and learning about the basics, such as how to maintain a strong spiritual/psychological barrier (there are LOTS of exercises if you google it, so try some and see which ones seem most effective to you) and how to create sacred ritual space. Even if this thing you are experiencing turns out to be 'just' some repressed psychological (shadow) material or even fear/prejudice (your own or projected from others) then basic precautions will still be of benefit. And please update us on how things are going for you <3

 

thanks for your advice,

 

I might actually did such exercises, because I started yoga and medetation again. At todays "session" or however I will call it, this feeling was gone. Maybe it was because of the full moon or because of the sage and lavender and pure quartz I had nect to myself, that it`s gone; I will make sure to contain a strong psycholigal barrier!

[Arch]

Hello Arch, thank you for what you said :)

 

I never wanted to divide between black and white, but while reading your answere I`ve noticed that I might did it unconciously.

 

What you said about the angles makes sense to me. I don`t know how much you believe in guardian angle and such things, but I for my part have a strong bounding with them. It makes sense, that the fallen ones have a great hook on me since, two of my three guardian angel are fallen ones (I also know now, that one of them hasn`t fallen as I got to notice them... which kinda makes me sad, but also I think he is happier, where he is now... nevermind this is another topic to discuss)

 

But there is one thing about your answer, that made me shiver. Your card reading... those three cards, Ace of swords, page of wands and the tower... I did ONE tarot reading for myself at the time I started getting into all of this, after that I never touch tarot cards again...and the cards I drew back then are the exact same. I didn`t know what they ment back then, but seeing you drewing these cards now for me, make me believe, they have a greater meaning to my person.

 

I did a - let`s call it session, evenso I don`t really know what it was because I just acted out of intution - today and the feeling that someone wants me to stop was gone. Maybe I wasn`t ready the last times or did something not wrong but without the needed intution... thanks for your great answere it was really helpfull for me

 

Glad to hear that your situation resolved itself.

 

It is interesting to hear that you have two fallen and one not fallen guardian angels,

but yeah that is indeed another topic, especially since it doesn't seem to affect you issue anymore.

 

My take on the tarot cards, is that as soon as you got the memo,

there was no need for whoever held you back to do so.

Apparantly you didn't understand what the card meant the first time,

and hence needed the message repeated and translated.

 

I won't speculate on how that would come to be,

as those blanks need to be filled in by our understanding of the world.

 

Personally I have 8 "angels", where 1 are pure white, two are white, one is gray and 4 others are fallen black.

It is probably more finegrained than that, but I won't split hairs, when for all intents and purposes,

it is a metaphor to convey something from my understanding of the world to your.

I usually don't think of angels consciously much, but they are a big theme in my journal,

where they show their faces over and over in the art I select for esthetic reasons.

[Vasixlisa]

Personally I have 8 "angels", where 1 are pure white, two are white, one is gray and 4 others are fallen black.

It is probably more finegrained than that, but I won't split hairs, when for all intents and purposes,

it is a metaphor to convey something from my understanding of the world to your.

I usually don't think of angels consciously much, but they are a big theme in my journal,

where they show their faces over and over in the art I select for esthetic reasons.

 

Very interessting, I am bookmarked it and will read it tomorrow, since it is late and my concentration already got to bed  X/