Determine a person's trustworthiness?

[spmkde]

Hi all. A couple of years ago a tarot lady determined the trustworthiness of a new contact for me using the tarot cards. And she was absolutely right.

 

Just now, I could use her advice again, but I don't know what kind of spread / technique she used and I don't remember her contact details. So, I am asking here: Do you know how to determine whether a person is trustworthy using the cards?

[Marina]

2 hours ago, spmkde said:

Do you know how to determine whether a person is trustworthy using the cards?

 

If you know how to read the cards… I believe you can read about pretty much anything. 

 

I guess what you want to know is if there is any specific method to use the cards, in order to gauge someone else's trustworthiness. I don't know if such thing exists, but I think you can easily adapt a 3-card spread for that purpose.

 

If I were doing it, I’d probably use a spread with three cards and the following positions:

1. What do I need to be aware of regarding this person?

2. What is this person's actual disposition towards me?

3. An advice on how to proceed with this person, in the short term.

 

This would give me a general idea of where this person is at the moment, at least in relation to me. I don't think you should trust anyone automatically just because the tarot says so, but depending on the card's advice, you can choose whether to lower your guard a bit and see how it goes, or to observe for a longer time before making any decisions regarding that individual.

 

NOW… another important thing is to ponder which cards, for you, point towards trustworthiness and which ones do not. Some cards are kinda in-your-face about it (say, the 7 of Swords, of The Devil), but others can be more ambiguous. This could become an interesting discussion here in the forum!

 

Like I said, I don’t have any specific method for this question, but I hope I have given you some food for thought!

[spmkde]

Hi Marina. Thank you very much for the detailled input!

[DanielJUK]

There's a great spread I bookmarked years ago from our old forum....

 

https://www.tarotforum.net/threads/problem-person-spread.37474/

 

Stregaverde's Pesky Problem Person Spread

 

1*****4
***3***
2*****5
***6***
***7***
***8***

 

1. What motivates this person?
2. What lies beneath those motivations? What is hidden or subconscious?
3. What is the current situation with this person?
4. What can I do about this situation?
5. What do I need to be aware of?
6. What other influences can/do affect this situation?
7. Advice
8. Outcome

 

There is also an eleven card version. You can always pick positions that fit your intentions and leave the rest.

 

Some people have ethics issues about looking into another person. There is a line there somewhere. I think you can change the reading to how this new contact will affect you or how will the connection be in your life. Relating it to you as an intention, if you feel you might be prying into their life.

 

A short and simple spread is to ask a question like, "how will [new person} affect my life?" and take 3 cards no positions, or "What do I need to know about trusting this person in my life?"

 

Really it's what cards show up representing them, like @Marina suggested.

 

If you know how to read, you can do the reading (in however you decided to do it) and post it here and we can help you interpret it.

There are rules at the top of the area about posting and we don't allow third party readings, so it would have to relate back to you to post here. Also you have to interpret it yourself first and when we can give our opinions and help.

[JoyousGirl]

I have a perspective here.  I think sometimes people project onto others something that is a lack of introspection within themselves. The 'other' then behaves in a way you are projecting - or perhaps you have a cognitive bias. You are already suggesting someone is untrustworthy before you have proof. You are invading their right to be considered trustworthy because you are penetrating their privacy by wanting to see if they are trustworthy using the cards. Just a suggestion. I think you might like to introspectively think about that. I think this is a 3rd person reading. What would happen if I were to do a reading about your trustworthiness? 

 

I think any reading should also look at you, as you may not have been introspective in this regard. What is untrustworthy about you? Are people safe from judgement in your presence? Are you judging by appearances? Postcode prejudice? I would suggest doing a reading that compares yourself with the person you are questioning. What is it about you that thinks the person is untrustworthy? And in what way? Materially? Psychologically? Heart safety?

 

I should add that in a general reading, like a year ahead reading, warning someone that such a person might be around in that period makes sense. It's not really invasive and homing in on one person. 

Edited 20 hours ago by JoyousGirl

[gregory]

8 hours ago, JoyousGirl said:

I have a perspective here.  I think sometimes people project onto others something that is a lack of introspection within themselves. The 'other' then behaves in a way you are projecting - or perhaps you have a cognitive bias. You are already suggesting someone is untrustworthy before you have proof. You are invading their right to be considered trustworthy because you are penetrating their privacy by wanting to see if they are trustworthy using the cards. Just a suggestion. I think you might like to introspectively think about that. I think this is a 3rd person reading. What would happen if I were to do a reading about your trustworthiness? 

 

I think any reading should also look at you, as you may not have been introspective in this regard. What is untrustworthy about you? Are people safe from judgement in your presence? Are you judging by appearances? Postcode prejudice? I would suggest doing a reading that compares yourself with the person you are questioning. What is it about you that thinks the person is untrustworthy? And in what way? Materially? Psychologically? Heart safety?

 

I should add that in a general reading, like a year ahead reading, warning someone that such a person might be around in that period makes sense. It's not really invasive and homing in on one person. 

 

I agree with all this, It is similar to the reasons I won't read for myself. We already have a perspective before we start. It colours the reading. The fact that you asked another reader last time mitigates that somewhat, but in your place I would want to read on "what do I need to know about this person ?" rather than asking about a specific trait. It feels as though you are looking for untrustworthiness. Think about why you are asking anything about that person, not about whether they are this or that specific thing. What would including them in (whatever) will bring to the table.

[Nemia]

I hesitate to do "other readings" about people who didn't ask for it. I know this is a point of argument, and I respect other readers with different opinions, but personally, I feel a bit like a stalker. I'm also aware of the bias factor, and of course, the defences that we all have, including the "other" person, to avoid our innermost motivations and heart being breached by whatever methods. 

 

However. If I had to do such a reading, I'd probably use a variation of the Blind Spot or SWOT reading to get an insight into what motivates this person, and to weigh the reading fairly between the other person, let's call them X, and me. 

 

The Blind Spot for two persons

 

Four cards, two rows, two columns. 

 

	What I see	What I can't see
What X sees	1	2
What X can't see	3	4

 

Card 1: this is out in the open; X knows it, I know it, we see eye to eye here  or are both aware of this factor

 

Card 2: this is hidden from me. X is aware of it; X may be motivated by it, but either outside factors or X hide it from my eyes

 

Card 3: I can see this, but X can't. It might be the reason for my lack of trust, or my own self-interest if there is a clash of interest

 

Card 4: What is hidden from X and me. These might be misunderstandings we're not aware of, outside factors, or a dynamic that is larger than just X and me

 

Unpleasant surprises can wait for us in cards 2 and 3. Card 4 can hint at a problem that might even be solved in cooperation with X. 

 

By taking a look at your own secrets, motivations and self-interest, you balance out the anti-X-bias that would be inherent in a question like "Is X trustworthy?" You create a level playing field, and you're asking more about the relationship than only X him/herself. 

 

And others have said, a simple question like "what should I know about X?" can also give you some hints. 

 

 

[spmkde]

This seems really tricky. Thanks for the input so far. I need some time to digest all of this.

 

Just as an addition. When the lady determined the trustworthiness she warned me about the other person. I disregarded her advice and I (literally) paid for it.

 

So if you say that I might be biased, I assume that I might subconsciously influence the card reading when reading for myself, right? Couldn't this be avoided by someone else drawing and reading the cards?

 

And as a rather general question: where would my subconscious influence the cards. Only when reading or also when drawing?

[gregory]

3 hours ago, spmkde said:

This seems really tricky. Thanks for the input so far. I need some time to digest all of this.

 

Just as an addition. When the lady determined the trustworthiness she warned me about the other person. I disregarded her advice and I (literally) paid for it.

 

So if you say that I might be biased, I assume that I might subconsciously influence the card reading when reading for myself, right? Couldn't this be avoided by someone else drawing and reading the cards?

 

Someone else reading for you will generally minimise bias. But be careful you ask the right question, so that you don't project any bias of yours into the reading. I am iffy about reading for people without their consent, and would try and phrase it so that it's directed at you - after all, if a person is trustworthy with one individual, they may not be so with another. Something along the lines of how will an association with this person affect me....

 

3 hours ago, spmkde said:

 

And as a rather general question: where would my subconscious influence the cards. Only when reading or also when drawing?

 

In MY view, when reading. I imagine others will differ.