Hid information from a reading to a client (serious concecuences) and I feel bad

[Saturn Celeste]

http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=112559

by Frannie 

Wow, this has come up with my students.  It's a fascinating story and one to be discussed.

Well, a lady went to have a reading with me at my house.

She was very sad and overwhelmed, her life was being very hard at that moment.

The thing is, she was very concerned for her son. She was a single mom.

I had absolutely no idea about what were her worries and really anything concerning her son.

 

Her son appeared in the reading as the same Page at least 3 times in other questions. I took it as that the boy was screaming something, had something really important to say.

 

When she asked about him in a general future way, I saw something terrible. Something so disturbing I wasn't able to tell it to her.

I kept seeing bullying from other kids at school. He becoming unreachable and closed in himself. I saw the school having a major impact, a negative impact in his life.

 

And I saw sexual abuse from the school.

 

I just told the lady about the bullying and that he wouldn't make past that year academically, that he would have to repeat the same school year again.

Told her to be careful with that school, it wasn't good. I told her he was hiding a secret, a painful secret. She was very skeptical about that because she told me : "But my son is ok, I don't understand how this relates to him". Nothing unusual in a client.

 

I was a nervewrack when she left. I felt terrible knowing something that was going to happen, that maybe I could have done something to prevent it, that I should have told the lady the whole truth.

 

It turns out that after 5 months she called me extremely worried, wanting to talk to me, not to have a reading.

 

And she told me that her son had been sexually abused at school, that was a victim of extreme bullying and that now he won't go to school and won't talk about it and that she was sewing the school for not responding at the legal charges.

 

My question is about how far can you answer as a reader?

 

Now I can't stop feeling guilty and knowing that maybe if I had told the whole truth this wouldn't have happened.

[Grizabella]

Telling your sitter everything you see in the cards is important. I know you know that. Your mistake in omitting telling her about the sexual abuse is one I think just about every Tarot reader has experienced.

 

Nothing happens by accident. Your choice not to tell the sitter was the right one at the time. Don't blame yourself.

 

I've found myself wanting to omit certain things on many occasions, but I usually hike up my big girl pants and wade on in, doing it in as empathetic and considerate way as I can. In this case, I might have just asked his mom if she has any reason to think he might be sexually abused at school and then if she said no, I'd tell her she should be aware that that's sometimes a concern and to touch all the bases because you never know.

 

In that way, you've suggested something rather than just blurting out that there's sexual abuse positively. You haven't told her something that's set in stone or far-fetched. You've helped your sitter to think of all the causes there might be for his problems.

 

As readers, what we tell our clients/sitters is very important to them, as you well know I'm sure. Especially if you're the Frannie I remember from AT.  X/ Giving thought as to how to say what the reading is showing you is part of the art of doing readings. 

[Arabella]

I think the last sentence sums it up. As a reader we have to be comfortable in our own skin and this one now has this terrible guilt hanging over her. Our own well being is something we have to take into account when we read for others.

I'm not there quite yet, but I feel that if you are confident in your abilities as a reader and trust the message from the cards you must tell it like it is.

Maybe a discussion with the querent prior to the reading as to how much information they want to receive good or bad would be a way to ensure they get what they want but you the reader are also delivering what they asked for and therefore no quilt or regrets if they didn't want the full story.

I feel that some people might ask for the full truth and we might read some bad news but they won't accept it anyway. But if you have given what they asked for you can ease any guilt on our part if they don't take it in

A very tricky situation, for sure.

[Arabella]

Telling your sitter everything you see in the cards is important. I know you know that. Your mistake in omitting telling her about the sexual abuse is one I think just about every Tarot reader has experienced.

 

Nothing happens by accident. Your choice not to tell the sitter was the right one at the time. Don't blame yourself.

 

I've found myself wanting to omit certain things on many occasions, but I usually hike up my big girl pants and wade on in, doing it in as empathetic and considerate way as I can. In this case, I might have just asked his mom if she has any reason to think he might be sexually abused at school and then if she said no, I'd tell her she should be aware that that's sometimes a concern and to touch all the bases because you never know.

 

In that way, you've suggested something rather than just blurting out that there's sexual abuse positively. You haven't told her something that's set in stone or far-fetched. You've helped your sitter to think of all the causes there might be for his problems.

 

As readers, what we tell our clients/sitters is very important to them, as you well know I'm sure. Especially if you're the Frannie I remember from AT.  X/ Giving thought as to how to say what the reading is showing you is part of the art of doing readings.

And this is why I love this forum. Thank you Grizabella, I've learnt from you as I was posting my comment.

I remain a humble and grateful student to the wisdom contained right here.

[Grizabella]

Thank you, Arabella. I'm glad you got something out of the post I made.  :love:

 

 

 

 

[Raggydoll]

This is such a hard one. I have had many many readings where things have come up (a lot of the time its not from the actual cards but that I see visions or receive intuitive messages), and I used to always struggle with whether I should bring it up or not. Now I have come to the conclusion that it really is about how I'm best going to bring it up. I want to make sure that I'm clear enough but not coming down too hard on someone. And by the way, this is definitely a personal thing so I am not telling anyone what they should do. The reason I have decided to always share my visions are that they tend to come true. And they almost always prove to be of use to the querent. If it was only some of the time that they were 'correct' or 'relevant' then I probably would have made another assessment and do more of a case-by-case decision. I feel that I get my visions/messages for a reason and that I am meant to convey them. I have also noticed that the more I share my visions, the stronger and more frequent they become. I'm not sure if I would have used the term 'sexual abuse' though in that particular circumstance. I think I would probably have tried to express my concerns in a slightly less explicit way so as to not cause devastating stress and worry in the querent.   

[Grandma]

Raggydoll[/member] - a perfect and timely example of your skill in this area and the importance of telling your querent what you sense is what's going on with Grandpa, as we have been discussing in PMs.  May I share it here?

[Raggydoll]

Raggydoll[/member] - a perfect and timely example of your skill in this area and the importance of telling your querent what you sense is what's going on with Grandpa, as we have been discussing in PMs.  May I share it here?

 

Yes. It is your story. Feel free to share it if you like.

[Grandma]

Okay, I will!

 

Raggydoll was doing a reading on my relationship with Grandpa.  The cards themselves did not indicate any problems with his health and I was not asking about his health, but she had a strong vision, a sense, that there is a problem with his heart.  She told me this in a straightforward but gentle way and added that there could be other explanations, like anxiety, or heartache, or my own fears about his health, but that it could be a serious heart problem. 

 

Because of this, I asked Grandpa a lot of probing questions and did not accept his general brushing off of my concerns - "no I'm fine, nothing's wrong" - until he admitted that he has been extremely short of breath.  So then I had to stay on top of it until he told the nurse in the assisted living facility about the problem.  She made an appointment with his regular doctor.  I took him there myself and have been, and will be, with him for all subsequent appointments as he tends to not be forthcoming with doctors on his own, and to become anxious and overwhelmed.  (I had stopped doing this since our divorce but I'll never stop again.  He needs me with him and I need that too.)  The doctor ordered blood work and when he received the results the next day he sent Grandpa to the emergency room for tests.  One test showed a thoracic aortic aneurysm and we are seeing a cardiologist later this month.  It looks like the aneurysm isn't at a critical stage and the cardiologist feels that it's okay to wait a few weeks for the appointment.

 

Now this may all turn out to be just a situation to be monitored, or it may turn out to be a very serious matter.  Time will tell.  But the point is that Raggydoll was right.  There is a problem with Grandpa's heart.

 

Imagine if she had not told me about it, and eventually I had posted that Grandpa had died of a heart attack or some other tragic outcome.  It gives me shivers to even think about how Raggydoll might have felt.

 

So yes, when the cards give bad news, or when even the cards are not saying but the reader is blessed with the gift of knowing things that she has no "scientific" way of knowing - find a way to share that information with the querent.  The worst that could have happened is that it could have been a false alarm.  The best that could happen is that it could save Grandpa's life. 

 

 

[sandrang123]

I do think it is always important to share information that is presented, either via the cards or other intuitive channels. I also agree the general approach about how to do this is generally what I consider most when dealing with sensitive information.

 

That said, I will present the information, set the seed, and move on from there sometimes, too. In other words, I do not consider it my task to bend someone's arm into believing what I tell them, either--and this is also a fine line for me, personally: How much to "press" an issue. For example, this has happened a few times when I've presented information and had someone say, "No, there's nothing going on there," only to have them come back months later and say, "Boy, that was right on after all." So I would say in my own intuitive life I definitely state what information comes through, but I don't always spend extra time on something that isn't "getting through" to the sitter, either. I hope that makes sense.

 

There have been instances, however, when something was so dire and pressing to me that I felt compelled to press the issue or go way, way out of my way to get in touch with someone. Sometimes when people who have passed come through I literally lose sleep if I don't get in touch with the person they came through for...so that has happened.

 

In the case detailed in the initial post, had the information come to me, I would have said something about bullying or even sexual abuse, but if the sitter said, "No, that's not happening," or "I don't understand that", I would have probably addressed it one more time, in a different way, but I'm not sure I would have done much more than that, particularly if not everything had yet manifested. These aren't always easy choices, either, for readers and intuitives.

 

Side note: I sometimes find this with readings given to me by my longtime spiritual guide worker, Diane . Sometimes she says something that makes no sense to me at the time of the reading but then a year later, when I listen to her recording, I hear things in a totally different light or find things have presented in the way she told me. So while the person in question (in this thread) might have felt tremendous guilt, it's just as possible if she expressed something it might not have been "heard" or seen as applicable at that time, only afterward, in hindsight.

 

At the end of the day, though, if you say it, at least you can say, "I did express what was channeled." What people actually "hear" or take in or piece together can be a different story sometimes.

 

My two cents, anyway. Interesting topic on how much to put forward or press forward with, though.

[Raggydoll]

I feel that this topic brings up all the main reasons for why I am conflicted about my abilities. I started sensing things at a very young age, and back then it was rarely anything pleasant. I remember knowing that my grandfather was going to suffer a stroke, and I even told my mother about it because I hoped she would tell me that I was imagining things. But she looked long and hard at me and I could tell that she knew. A couple of weeks later he did suffer a stroke, and though not being fatal it still completely altered his personality. The other big thing that forever changed me is the story about my dad. I have shared this in the past and won't repeat it here (you can read it here should you want to: https://www.thetarotforum.com/talking-tarot/are-modern-tarot-meanings-watered-down/msg54488/#msg54488 ). It shook me to the core and it made me even more determined to always share my visions. But I also want to mention that not all of my visions are 'bad'. I get nice stuff too. Sometimes I see pleasant things that are about to happen (like longed-for pregnancies or romantic developments), and sometimes I pick up on happy memories and significant events in peoples lives. And I am sure to share those as well  :love:

 

And Grandma[/member]:  (( <3

[Clairbuoyant]

People trust the reader to be honest. It’s not my place to withhold information from someone. The cards answered their question and I’m the interpreter. Professional interpreters have a duty to translate and deliver information.  I owe it to the person I’m reading for to convey the message they have asked the cards to give them.