DoNotDelete Posted February 22, 2019 Posted February 22, 2019 Hi :-) This is a spread I have used a lot - especially when it comes to revealing the hidden agenda of people that I know. It's good to use so you know who you should trust or not. I will show the spread before I comment my own experiences with it. Here is the spread: 7 cards - use your own pattern, but read them from 1 to 7. I just pick 7 cards and read them one by one. Find the person you want to read about and think of him/her. Pick a card for every one of these positions: 1) Inspiration 2) Motives 3) Intention 4) Hidden agenda 5) Strong spots 6) Weak spots 7) Goal I did this spread for some friends and family. My best friend got the Ace of Cups as Motive. He is a seventh day adventist and I don't agree with him about every thing, but it's so good to know that he has loving Motives. Two other boys got 2 of wands as their Hidden agenda - telling me that they want personal power. I don't hang around them anymore - they will just misuse others. Good luck :-)
Wanderer Posted February 22, 2019 Posted February 22, 2019 Hi Koblo[/member] and thanks for posting this! Reading about this spread, though, there are a couple of things that make me uneasy, and I was wondering whether you or others feel the same way... Firstly, a lot of us will refuse to do a reading for someone about a third party without their consent, because we don't feel comfortable that it's ethical - if it works, then it's basically a form of spying. Isn't this exactly the same in this spread? We're trying to dig into the core of someone's personality without asking them if they mind. I know we all do this to some extent, for example by interpreting mannerisms or reactions to particular situations, but that's building our opinions based on the person's public face. In this spread, you're trying to dig out the things they want to keep hidden... which can be very valuable for us, of course, but doesn't everyone have some right to privacy of their innermost thoughts, so that their can be judged on their actions rather than their pyschology? Secondly, and more practically, it seems like a bit of a blunt instrument that could have major unintended consequences. For example, that two of wands is a complex card, relating to ambition and wanting to expand horizons, but is not necessarily anything that should count against them. What if their ambition was to be able to spread good things to a wide audience? I just don't see that this card represents a desire for personal power (and if it does, that phase is part of growing up - at a certain age, almost everyone wants to better themselves!), and you could be cutting off friendships on the basis of pure misunderstandings or being overly judgmental. If I were to use this spread, I would have to treat the answers as the subtle pointers that they are, rather than clear answers that lay bare the person's soul. Perhaps that's what you've done, but that's not quite what came across, and it might be worth making that clear. Sorry to be quizzing you when you've only just joined (welcome! X/) but I thought this was worth picking up on. I'm sure some people will find the spread really useful, but having discussions over this sort of area is always a good thing - it keeps us honest, as they say! :)
DoNotDelete Posted February 23, 2019 Posted February 23, 2019 Dear Wanderer. First thanks for the warm welcome :-) I agree to a certain point about the danger of misusing the answers I get. If I did so I would be no better than those I pick bad cards for. I don't tell anyone about it - as you see I neither mention names or initials here - and I don't mention it in real life. It's only in my head and in my private journal. I have been mentally abused - I know that for sure - but i haven't been able to know if those who abused me where conscious of what they did? God told me after a prayer that one never knows - they could be "sleeping" sinners. I agree with that, but it's interesting to see who I can trust in matter of what their motives and intentions are. My best friend has good motives - but those other two I mentioned wants personal power - which makes me think that even if they are not conscious of their sin - and I should not judge them - I still should keep a distance to avoid further damage. So it's not my intentions to "destroy enemies" - it's just to protect myself. Hope this makes it clearer :-)
Wanderer Posted February 23, 2019 Posted February 23, 2019 Hi Koblo, and thanks for taking that message in the spirit it was meant. As you'll see, there are lots of rather interesting discussions on here, many of which are well beyond my pay grade! :biggrin: This one is a very difficult issue, and I'm surprised more people haven't chimed in. Just to be clear, I wasn't suggesting that you go around telling other people what you discovered - far from it! - but I do think the whole issue of reading about someone without their knowledge is a grey area... and probably a decision we all need to make for ourselves, each time we're tempted. I totally get where you're coming from (I know all about being on the receiving end of mental abuse, and it was very deliberate), and don't think I've not been tempted to ask these sorts of questions about someone else... but something holds me back. I guess it's a question of what is the best way to reach our decisions. If something makes us suspicious of a person's intentions, that to me should be enough to be cautious. If they're doing things that cause us distress but perhaps unwittingly, point it out to them; if they carry on, then it was either deliberate or something they have difficulty controlling. You get the idea. I'm just reluctant to resort to what feels like spying, even if the situation seems to justify it. In the end, it comes down to not doing anything that you would prefer other people weren't doing in return... and although I don't think I've got anything to hide, I wouldn't easily trust someone that I found out was reading so deeply about me without my consent. It implies that they don't trust me, you see... The second part was more about misjudging someone and missing out on valuable friendships. The cards can be fickle, and it's my belief that we all experience and embody every card at some point in our lives. Therefore, a 'bad' card for 'hidden agenda' may be indicating nothing more than that they are going through a phase that they need to learn from, rather than a deep-seated nefariousness. Also, the spread assumes there is a hidden agenda, so what happens if there are none? On the other hand, if there were lots of other warning signs that you'd noticed already, then... well, perhaps you already have your answer! In the end, how to use the cards in a case like this is a decision for each of us, privately. I'd personally be happier doing a reading about how being with a person will affect me - it leaves their inner secrets secure, and focuses on what should really matter to me. But in the end, as long as we mean well, that's surely the most important thing. :)
Starlight Posted February 23, 2019 Posted February 23, 2019 I tend to agree with Wanderer, but I can also see why someone might want to get an inkling of how a relationship is going to turn out and have some forewarning if things are not good. With that in mind, I went looking for different relationship spreads and eventually found one on this site, https://www.jeannemayell.com/41-tarot-spreads-for-tuning-into-yourself/ 1. What does this event have in store for me? 2. What do I need to watch out for? 3. What can I do about it? 4. Result Which can be modified to this: 1. What is the main energy around this relationship? 2. What do I need to watch out for? (Can be either something that makes you uncomfortable in the relationship, OR something that you yourself are doing) 3. What can I do about it? 4. Outcome for this relationship This reading is less intrusive but still useful, I think. It highlights any issue that might need looking at (whether a situation that is troublesome, or a personality quirk that might need some healing or development or refinement) in order to make the best of the relationship. I'm not sure I'd ever use a spread like this myself, though. All relationships are risky,and while we might want to avoid hurt, if we don't take the risk, then we might also be missing out on all the potential good things a relationship can offer. I think trusting our gut is probably the best way to judge whether a relationship is healthy or not. And it's usually the small things that are the most telling, anyway. The other thing to keep in mind is that Tarot is, at the end of the day, a deck of cards and we wouldn't want to live life basing our decisions on the fall of a card. Keep the message in mind, yes, but still be open to what is happening from moment to moment. A reading that we did yesterday may not be as applicable to the situation tomorrow. People grow and change and relationships do, too.
TheLittleJackal Posted February 23, 2019 Posted February 23, 2019 I think there have been some good cautions here. Cards can be read in a lot of different ways, and people can embody lots of different things without being bad people. I know I've had some serious phases of personal growth that weren't pretty to look at, but I always had the best intentions towards everyone around me, and was always doing my best to become a better person, even if I wasn't always very good at it. I'm sure some people's cards might have told them "bad things" about me, but there's a difference between a warning about something you might want to be aware of, and something that implies the person is somehow a "hidden sinner" and someone to drop and avoid. And as has been noted, if your spread draws a card for someone's "hidden agenda", what is your deck supposed to do about that if the person doesn't have one? I very much like Starlight's idea of flipping the spread around. Asking similar questions, but without prying and setting yourself up to feel suspicious towards people like has happened in the past. You can establish "what you need to know" in a relationship, "is this relationship positive for me going forward", etc etc, without aiming the reading at the other person specifically. The cards could still tell you if that person was likely to cause you harm, and you wouldn't have any of these personal cards that you could let define the other person.
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