In the Tarot closet

[EmpyreanKnight]

I'm just curious - is there anybody else here who still tries to hide their Tarot practice from others? To whom do you conceal it, and why?

[EmpyreanKnight]

My whole family knows about my predilection for the Tarot, and they respect it. Especially my mom, she likes to have her cards read. Aside from them, only my very closest friends know.

 

At work, no one has the slightest clue. It's mainly because I work in IT, specifically in software development where I head a few projects. They won't understand, and even if I try to explain, there are a few ways to twist the knife if you offer your back as a target to your esteemed colleagues. Alas, such is corporate life. :-\

[Raggydoll]

It's not that I actively conceal my interest in tarot, it's more a matter of not advertising it to certain people that most likely would not understand. But my family, friends and most of my close relatives know about it. I have been doing this for such a long though, so some of them might think that I've lost my interest in later years just because I don't talk about it all that much.

[Tanga]

Luckily - in my general spheres of influence - I don't have to hide it.

 

However - I don't advertise my Tarot reading skills on the same business card as my Therapeutic skils.

I have a separate business card for that.

I remember sitting in a Tarot MeetUp recently where someone asked me for my card, & when they discovered I had 2 they couldn't understand why.

(how interestingly naive some people are :) ).

 

[Padma]

It's not that I actively conceal my interest in tarot, it's more a matter of not advertising it to certain people that most likely would not understand.

 

Same! I only share with those whom I think might take an interest. Otherwise, it is too much like discussing one's favorite hobby to an audience who will soon lose patience, and grow bored! No point in bashing on about it.

[Trogon]

I'm pretty open about it. Back when I started learning Tarot, I was working Graveyard shift, and would take my cards and book to study. I work at a small police department and there are times when it's slow enough that I could work on it and even do readings. But, I've now been studying and reading Tarot at work longer than anyone else has been working there. Most of my friends and coworkers are either interested, curious, or (rarely) just avoid the subject with me. I also do readings in coffee shops or restaurants in town. Also I do readings at parties.

 

I will say that early on, I was probably a little less up-front about it. I would have my cards at work, and would talk about it if someone asked. But nowadays, it's often something that I bring up even with new people I meet and will give out a business card. But, I think that one thing that helps is that I live in a town with a pretty New-age feel. And the only time I've come a cropper with it has been on-line, but I just blocked the person.

[High Priestess]

It's not that I actively conceal my interest in tarot, it's more a matter of not advertising it to certain people that most likely would not understand. But my family, friends and most of my close relatives know about it. I have been doing this for such a long though, so some of them might think that I've lost my interest in later years just because I don't talk about it all that much.

 

This is the same for me. If someone expresses interest in a topic like tarot or other arcane practices I’ll talk with them about tarot etc but otherwise I keep it to myself. I work as a veterinary technician around primarily skeptical personalities.

[NocturnalSpark]

I used to be really open about it and read the cards for my classmates in high school and through my undergrad and talked about it to anyone who would want their cards read. Then something happened as I grew up where I became more secretive about it. I'm not sure why, no one has been really bad about it before. The skeptics wouldn't really care if I read tarot or not. But nowdays I don't tell anyone! I even recently met someone who said they were a tarot reader and I don't even tell them I was one too! I think it was because they were kind of awkward in the group I was spending time with. I also moved to the South East, U.S. and maybe really should be afraid of people who are really offended by Tarot. No one at any of my jobs has ever know I read tarot.

[EmpyreanKnight]

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one here "in hiding", so to speak lol. Tbh tho, I'd much prefer that it's the ones I'm close to and whom I truly care about who accept my practice and don't bother me about them than if it the tables were turned and it's my colleagues and acquaintances who were accepting.

[Mitsuraki]

I'm pretty closeted about it, myself.  My family members don't know, a vast majority of my friends don't know, my neighbors don't know, and my coworkers have never known (regardless of what job I'm at).  My best friends, and a small group of people, from college know because we were friends who mostly all joined up in the college's "pagan club", and tarot happened to come up for an event and some of us read.  My ex best friend knows, but we don't talk anymore so that's one less person in my group of friends who would know.  I don't talk about it on Facebook, and I don't have a Twitter or Instagram account.  Though, even if I did have the latter two, I still wouldn't talk about it on there.  I don't even talk about it on Tumblr.  And honestly, I have no desire to make my other friends or coworkers or family aware at all.  There's really no benefit for me.  A lot of my friends are from the South (unfortunately) or the Bible Belt (even more unfortunately) because of where I grew up, and having a clash of religious beliefs that ends up leading to a loss of friendship is just not worth my time.

 

To be quite honest, other than my sexuality, I'm in all the closets (and even that one I still have my foot in because I'm not open about it at work [Hispanic-family-owned business with a large cross hanging on the lobby wall...not gonna say a word] or with all of my family or friends).  Some of my friends know I'm Pagan (though I haven't told any yet that I'm definitely moving toward druidry), most know that I was born Jewish, some think I'm an atheist, some think I'm agnostic.  When people ask, I specifically say 'I was born Jewish" because then people assume I'm still Jewish and they leave it alone.  And, as far as my family is concerned, they still believe I'm Jewish.  It's just easier having them believe that I'm the same religion than having to explain why I'm not.  I doubt any would have an issue, but I don't feel like finding out because, again, just not worth the strife.

[Raggydoll]

I totally understand that your upbringing and the culture you currently live in has great impacts on this matter. I was raised in a non-Christian home and I was very influenced by my paternal grandfather, even after his passing. My grandfather told me folktales and shared lots of *important* things for me to consider, like never ever pouring hot water on the ground cause you might accidentally scald a gnome (or some other invisible being), an that would obviously be a very bad thing since gnomes help you with your house, pets, and protects your crops - so you wouldn't want to upset them. He was also considered gifted by people of the village and they would come to him for finding missing objects. I know that he would also heal wounds, and when I asked my dad about it (the biggest skeptic there ever was) he simply confirmed to me that yes, he had seen all of this with his own eyes and while it didn't make any sense, that's just what happened. (It was like the exception to the rule for him, and nothing he chose to ponder over.)

 

So when I developed an interest for the occult no one was actually surprised. I remember finding occult books in my parents bookshelf and it turned out to have belonged to my uncle (who died before I was born). He apparently also had that kind of interest and might have had some gift too, but sadly I have no one to ask about it now (everyone on my dads side is long gone now). I do remember that my moms side of the family was a little less keen on my interest (there were some religious people there), but they were polite, and it was actually my moms brother who gave me my very first tarot deck at the age of fourteen. That really felt like a way of saying that he accepted me for who I was.

 

And I also remember as a kid telling my family about dreams that I had that seem to predict future events. And no one ever doubted me. In fact, I could soon tell that my mom was a bit worried every time I told her that I had seen something not so nice in my dreams. So, yeah.. This turned out to be a much longer (and slightly more off-topic) comment than I intended. Sorry about that, I just can't seem to help my self when I start talking  ;D

[Queen of Nothing]

I'm pretty quiet about it. I'm sure my family has seen my decks and guidebooks on my desk, but I think they respect my desire to keep it private to not bring it up. And most of my friends and coworkers aren't sceptics, but I feel that reactions would not be the best.

 

I only ever actually told my boyfriend and his reaction was...  less than encouraging. He isn't a skeptic (he's terrified of ghosts and spirits) but he thinks that a lot of occult stuff is just games and nonsense. So that's turned me off from telling people close to me.

 

However, I have no problem telling total starngers that I like to do tarot.

[Guest Empathic_Cap]

Even though witchcraft and such run through the blood on my mothers side and I’m the last blood line and the only blood who practices after my great great great grandmother and from my great great grandmother.

Both my mother and grandmother (mothers side) are Pisces women who are spiritual women. Grandmother uses crystals where my mum had two books on witchcraft and other methods that can be used to fore the future. I think the author is called Michael Stone or Silverstone but don’t quote me on the name :D.

Anyways I saw the books in the garage sale pile and I asked if I could have then and she said no. Then as the years went by going back in the late 2017 I was using a Original playing cards pack as my Tarot cards so far I went through two. One deck was completely destroyed by water

[IndigoWaves]

 

 

Your paternal grandfather sounds charming, Raggydoll! A bit like my maternal grandmother, who was most colourfully, delightfully Irish; she had such a lovely, magical way about her.

 

My own use of Tarot cards hasn't been shared with my family, who are quite firmly Roman Catholic, nowadays. (They weren't always so 'devout'; it seems to have sprung up with them mainly since Mom passed away.) I've never been especially close to/chatty with these remaining kin, anyway, so this has been neither a concern nor source of conflict. With friends, on the other hand, I do allow my Tarot-related observations to pop out when they're inclined to do so — which is really 'no biggie', still, as these few people are already well aware (and more or less tolerant) of my oddities. ;)

 

...But as is the case with my sexual preferences, my interest in Tarot cards isn't something that I've ever felt a need to announce publicly. ;D

 

[Raggydoll]

Your paternal grandfather sounds charming, Raggydoll! A bit like my maternal grandmother, who was most colourfully, delightfully Irish; she had a such lovely, magical way about her.

 

:D

 

I remember my dad telling me that, as a kid, he once asked his father how he could heal wounds and how it worked, and his father just warned him never to ask those kinds of questions and never to think about those things again. I think my grandfather might have doubted if his abilities truly came from a good place or if it was something else. He was quite supersticious and fearful, but he still made good use of his talents and (as far as I know) he never charged money for his work. 

[katrinka]

I don't care who knows. I don't run around sticking rhinestones between my eyebrows and playing a part, but I don't hide it, either.

99% of the time, it's no big deal. Once in awhile, somebody has a problem.

 

Examples:

1. "How can you lie to people like that?" (Response: "I don't. They pay me to read cards, I tell them what the cards say.")

2. "God doesn't want you to do that." (Response: "A person's gotta pay bills." This ALWAYS shuts up the pious, because pushing it require offering actual help. Fundies HATE that.)

3. One person at work said I walked by and her machine broke. No response required - it's not me who looks delusional.  ;D

 

[gregory]

To be honest - it rarely comes up. I never hide it if the conversation goes that way, and I don't hide my decks or anything. But if I meet friends for coffee, or at work, say - it just doesn't come up. We are talking - say - about the news, or the latest job we've been stuck with, or my grandchildren - where does tarot come in ? (Or my tweezer collection... And the fact that we have a toy rabbit who reads maps for us in the car...)

 

If it comes up and anyone no like - I will just say stuff like "to each their own". "How can you believe in that stuff ?" gets "You believe in God, who is equally hard to pin down, so..."

"How can you believe in that stuff and NOT believe in God as well" was a little trickier :)

 

But if they don't want to know me as I am, they don't want to know me, so that's fine !

[katrinka]

To be honest - it rarely comes up. I never hide it if the conversation goes that way, and I don't hide my decks or anything. But if I meet friends for coffee, or at work, say - it just doesn't come up. We are talking - say - about the news, or the latest job we've been stuck with, or my grandchildren - where does tarot come in ? (Or my tweezer collection... And the fact that we have a toy rabbit who reads maps for us in the car...)

 

True. I don't have to field the questions as much as I once did, since I have a day (well actually night) job. But when I lived entirely on income from readings, it came up every time somebody asked what I did. (Why is it even socially acceptable to ask people you barely met what their source of income is, I wonder? It's like asking how much they have in the bank. Finances are personal.  >:( )

 

If it comes up and anyone no like - I will just say stuff like "to each their own". "How can you believe in that stuff ?" gets "You believe in God, who is equally hard to pin down, so..."

"How can you believe in that stuff and NOT believe in God as well" was a little trickier :)

 

I never got backed into that corner, probably because while I don't believe in a personal Skydaddy, I do think there's something behind it all. But it's got to be weirder and more abstract than we can wrap our brains around, and I seriously doubt it gives a tin s*** if we read cards.  ;D

 

But if they don't want to know me as I am, they don't want to know me, so that's fine !

 

Yep. Card reading is one of those things that filters out at least some of the jerks.  :D

[RavenOfSummer]

I really enjoy reading everyone's experiences in regard to this question.

 

In terms of my friends and the people I've chosen to be part of my life, they all know, and they either think it's cool, or that it's just my thing and it doesn't bother them. I think people generally see me as a tree-hugging hippie type, which is not untrue- I'm vegetarian, I'm a yogini and a registered yoga teacher, etc- so for the most part the people close to me see it as just another part of who I am and it doesn't surprise them.

 

My family is harder. My mom and her family are conservative Catholic, and just generally conservative. My dad's family is more nondenominational liberal Christian these day- my dad was raised AME but the family has kind of gone in various directions. They are definitely more open than my mom's side, and I'm also more aligned with them politically etc. But in general, I am cautious about talking to anyone in my family about my own paganism/earth-based spirituality, and my tarot reading. The spirituality issue is particularly charged for my mom and her side, since I was raised Catholic. It's still hard for my mom that I'm not Catholic. She knows that I read tarot, but she's not fond of the fact. It's generally just not discussed. And with the friends from my home town- people that I grew up and went to school with, and my teachers from Catholic school- I'm honestly afraid to share any of these things with them. It's hard for me because I do love them, they played an important role in my life etc, but there is a strong chance that some of them would think I was a terrible person because I read tarot or because I practice an earth-based spirituality. It makes me sad.

 

I try, more and more, to be open about my spirituality and my practices, because I think it's much easier for negative prejudices and false preconceptions to proliferate if people never come in contact with a tarot reader, or with a pagan/druid/witch/what have you. I think it can help to change things if people see examples that they didn't think existed in the real world- like, "Oh, she's a pagan, and she's a good person!" Or, "Oh, he's Christian, and he also reads tarot!" I'm sure we're all of us living examples that counter someone's prejudice out there.

 

And also, I just want to be myself, with everyone and in all aspects of my life, and these things are a big part of who I am. It doesn't feel good to feel like I have to hold parts of myself back or keep them secret.

 

I'm pretty closeted about it, myself.  My family members don't know, a vast majority of my friends don't know, my neighbors don't know, and my coworkers have never known (regardless of what job I'm at).  My best friends, and a small group of people, from college know because we were friends who mostly all joined up in the college's "pagan club", and tarot happened to come up for an event and some of us read.  My ex best friend knows, but we don't talk anymore so that's one less person in my group of friends who would know.  I don't talk about it on Facebook, and I don't have a Twitter or Instagram account.  Though, even if I did have the latter two, I still wouldn't talk about it on there.  I don't even talk about it on Tumblr.  And honestly, I have no desire to make my other friends or coworkers or family aware at all.  There's really no benefit for me.  A lot of my friends are from the South (unfortunately) or the Bible Belt (even more unfortunately) because of where I grew up, and having a clash of religious beliefs that ends up leading to a loss of friendship is just not worth my time.

 

To be quite honest, other than my sexuality, I'm in all the closets (and even that one I still have my foot in because I'm not open about it at work [Hispanic-family-owned business with a large cross hanging on the lobby wall...not gonna say a word] or with all of my family or friends).  Some of my friends know I'm Pagan (though I haven't told any yet that I'm definitely moving toward druidry), most know that I was born Jewish, some think I'm an atheist, some think I'm agnostic.  When people ask, I specifically say 'I was born Jewish" because then people assume I'm still Jewish and they leave it alone.  And, as far as my family is concerned, they still believe I'm Jewish.  It's just easier having them believe that I'm the same religion than having to explain why I'm not.  I doubt any would have an issue, but I don't feel like finding out because, again, just not worth the strife.

 

Hey fellow druid!!!! OBOD Bard here :) Would love to talk to you more about druidry- will have to PM you! And I identify with a lot of your experiences as well.

 

 

[katrinka]

Some of my friends know I'm Pagan (though I haven't told any yet that I'm definitely moving toward druidry), most know that I was born Jewish, some think I'm an atheist, some think I'm agnostic.  When people ask, I specifically say 'I was born Jewish" because then people assume I'm still Jewish and they leave it alone.

 

Going on a bit of a tangent here, but years ago when I worked retail I waited on a lady who told me about how her son married a Jewish girl and how she was perfectly OK with that. She was a conservative Christian type, so it was surprising. She went on about how they were going to raise the kids Jewish and how she thought that was great, and just when I started to get optimistic about the human race, she said "Any religion is fine with me as long as it has Jesus in it."

 

She.

Didn't.

Know.

 

I just kept my mouth shut.  ;D

[faerybraids]

It's not like I actively hide it, but like others here I don't advertise it, either. A lot of that stems from me feeling embarrassed about not really feeling comfortable reading cards for others yet--I've found that saying I have an interest in something can get the "Can you X for me?" questions right away and I'm just not quite prepared for them yet. I'm working on it, though. :)

 

Like most things in life I'm usually more open with strangers, though, for some reason. I think it goes back to showing I'm a person who betrays stereotypes and knowing that, unless they want to get to know me more (or I them), I'll never have to see them again. But I still wouldn't necessarily bring it up myself unless the context was right. I'm not sure whether I'd mention that I read cards if it came up with extended relatives, for example, because I've found out they're a minefield over who's open-minded and who's not, and I honestly don't see or care enough about most of them to bother dwelling on it too much. Most of my immediate family only knows I read tarot because I wanted the Starchild Akashic so much I put it as the main thing on my wishlist for Christmas this year (we share them online so everyone can see them easily). The closer a friend is the more anxious I'd be about telling them, but I wouldn't necessarily keep it secret unless I was worried for my safety--I would just hate losing the friend if it turned out they couldn't respect my interest (been there, done that with other things, unfortunately).

[Guest Empathic_Cap]

It's not like I actively hide it, but like others here I don't advertise it, either. A lot of that stems from me feeling embarrassed about not really feeling comfortable reading cards for others yet--I've found that saying I have an interest in something can get the "Can you X for me?" questions right away and I'm just not quite prepared for them yet. I'm working on it, though. :)

 

Like most things in life I'm usually more open with strangers, though, for some reason. I think it goes back to showing I'm a person who betrays stereotypes and knowing that, unless they want to get to know me more (or I them), I'll never have to see them again. But I still wouldn't necessarily bring it up myself unless the context was right. I'm not sure whether I'd mention that I read cards if it came up with extended relatives, for example, because I've found out they're a minefield over who's open-minded and who's not, and I honestly don't see or care enough about most of them to bother dwelling on it too much. Most of my immediate family only knows I read tarot because I wanted the Starchild Akashic so much I put it as the main thing on my wishlist for Christmas this year (we share them online so everyone can see them easily). The closer a friend is the more anxious I'd be about telling them, but I wouldn't necessarily keep it secret unless I was worried for my safety--I would just hate losing the friend if it turned out they couldn't respect my interest (been there, done that with other things, unfortunately).

 

I can relate to your story on similar levels or another :). I don't hide it nor advertise unless if it's like a group like this then I'm generally as open as a book :D. IRL I'm still learning and I don't currently feel confident in myself to do readings just yet as I'm still developing my reading style.

[Mitsuraki]

 

Hey fellow druid!!!! OBOD Bard here :) Would love to talk to you more about druidry- will have to PM you! And I identify with a lot of your experiences as well.

 

Haha hey there!  OBOD is actually where I'm planning to study druidry through.  I just...need to get the money together to sign up for it hahaha.  I've got the introductory thing they send, and can afford the course and such.  Just gotta get stuff moved around.  There's just something about druidry that's really calling my name.  I haven't done a huge amount of studying yet, but I'm happy to talk about it and talk about the things that I can find!  :)

 

Some of my friends know I'm Pagan (though I haven't told any yet that I'm definitely moving toward druidry), most know that I was born Jewish, some think I'm an atheist, some think I'm agnostic.  When people ask, I specifically say 'I was born Jewish" because then people assume I'm still Jewish and they leave it alone.

 

Going on a bit of a tangent here, but years ago when I worked retail I waited on a lady who told me about how her son married a Jewish girl and how she was perfectly OK with that. She was a conservative Christian type, so it was surprising. She went on about how they were going to raise the kids Jewish and how she thought that was great, and just when I started to get optimistic about the human race, she said "Any religion is fine with me as long as it has Jesus in it."

 

She.

Didn't.

Know.

 

I just kept my mouth shut.  ;D

 

I...I really really want to say I'm surprised by this.  Like, really want to say I'm surprised.  But I'm not surprised at all hahaha.  I think so many people think that because Jesus was a Jew that Jews believe in Jesus (which, to be fair, there IS a sect of Judaism that does believe in Jesus).  But I always shake my head whenever something like that is said lmao.  ;D

[Jewel]

When I first got interested in learning Tarot, in the mid to late 80's I lived alone and kept it to myself, more than anything because no one I knew was interested to my knowledge.  Then my closest friends learned and thought it was cool.  I guess I fall in the camp that I did not hide it but did not advertise it either.  My parents on the other hand are very Catholic, and well my mom was very uncomfortable with it.  She let up when I explained to her what the cards were to me, tools, and I pulled out the Tarot for Cats (mom loves cats) and showed her how harmless they are.  She still does not like or approve but that is her issue not mine.  I do not flaunt it and she does not talk about it so we are all good.  At work again, I do not hide it but do not flaunt it.  I am teaching a co-worker, and have read for a couple of others but it is not general knowledge.  My husband does not have any interest in tarot, has never wanted his cards read, but does not have any issue with it or my interest in it.

 

I am 52 years old, and I am just do not pay much attention to the haters.  I don't argue with them or try to defend my interest, it is simply not worth it to me.  To each their own as Gregory said, and that is pretty much what I tell them.  If people choose to not like me for it, well that is their loss.  I enjoy it and get something out of it and that is all that matters.

[Audelia]

Great thread! :)

 

My relationship with this topic is complex. I grew up in a super religious family (Irish and Catholic), so when my parents found out about my interest, I was immediately told that firstly it was wrong and secondly, that I shouldn't broadcast it because, god forbid, what would the neighbours think? :)

 

So initially I always tried to hide my practice. I didn't want my parents to know just HOW involved I was and I was scared people would think I was weird.

 

The older I got and the more my talents as a reader grew, the more word got around until eventually my mother's co-workers were seeking me out for readings. Eventually my parents adopted a "We wouldn't do it ourselves, but you're helping people so we'll stay quiet about it" attitude. Now that I'm an adult, they don't comment on it.

 

Throughout my career (and indeed even in the beginnings of my relationship with my now fiance) I kept it hidden. I guess I was carrying around some type of stigma or shame (which seems ridiculous to me now!).

 

Then I ended up working for a very well known, national magazine. And one day it somehow came up in conversation. I ended up reading for my editor, the rest of my team and then every other person in the building. My interest was finally seen as being "cool" and people actively would come to me asking me to draw a card for them. About two years into the job, my editor approached me and asked me to start writing a page in the publication about tarot and now, as well as being a journalist, I'm a bit of a tarot agony aunt and answer reader's questions in the magazine.

 

As for the fiance, he eventually copped on (maybe about a year into the relationship!) that there was more going on here. He asked me to read his cards one night and that was it. He's very scientific, but he's witnessed my predictions coming true so much over the past seven years, he's also seen how much the cards have helped people, so he accepts my practice and encourages it :)