Anyone else like to read for others, but not be read for?

[GreatDane]

I used to like to get readings, back in the day.  But now at closing in at 73, some chronic conditions, and pretty isolated (although I have some great friends locally, my best friend is a retired ER doc, which comes in handy), there's no reading I can see being great.  What would I ask to be read on?   So it's not that I think there are not great readers out there, I DO, it's that I KNOW there are and there isn't anything I want to know.  Does anyone else not really want to be read for for any reason?

[Arania]

I prefer to read cards for myself, otherwise I  have them read only rarely, in my worldview you only do this when really necessary, and I have very little need for divination lately. My chronic issues play into this a bit, too. And if i read for myself it is more like card of the day, situational stuff and not my future as such.

 

I should probably change that view if I want to get back into reading cicles and the like.

[GreatDane]

Oh I SO get what you're saying, Arania!  I will do readings for myself, for clarity, but I know my situation, what I need to focus on.  When I first started reading, I enjoyed getting readings from others.

I still enjoy doing Lenormand readings.  I did a LOT when I was in AT before it kind of shut down, although I see my readings, as well as everything else is still there.  

My fav way of reading for myself is a one card draw and maybe one or two other one card draws if I feel I want a little more clarity, but that's just me.  

[Saturn Celeste]

22 minutes ago, GreatDane said:

What would I ask to be read on?

For many years I have made it a policy not to let others read for me, except when I was graduating a student.  My life is set.  I am a recluse so I don't have any outside intrusions and I can choose to be online or not.  We eat at the same time, my cats run this house and my son works at certain times.  I am in the later years of life (68 for only a few more months) and I know what lies in store for me.  Nope, I don't need to ask someone "What do I need to know?"  I already know it.  I don't want to know if I'm going to die tomorrow, that would suck!  I'd rather just let my life play out and have a few surprises left in my old age!

[GreatDane]

AMEN, SISTER!  And my animals run the house and me, too!  

 

You summed it exactly.  Like I said, I will occasionally pull a card on something, but that's more for insight, clarity.  You know that adage, be careful what you ask for.

[Esclarmonde]

I read for myself, when there is something I want to analyse or a situation to be resolved etc. I don't like the idea of getting a reading for myself and I wouldn't ask for it. I regard my readings for myself also as practice (as in keeping up the skill, not as part of any spiritual path). I do read for others, though not frequently.

[Misterei]

On 9/22/2023 at 9:41 AM, GreatDane said:

I used to like to get readings, back in the day.  But now at closing in at 73, some chronic conditions, and pretty isolated (although I have some great friends locally, ... there's no reading I can see being great.  What would I ask to be read on?   ...

I have a different take on this.Yes, it's true .. the older I get the less I care to do "what's going to happen?" readings.

LOL I can usually predict sans cards!

I also struggle with age and bad health ... but I have a vibrant spiritual and inner life.

I DO enjoy getting readings from other people. Part of it is that I'm still somewhat in the world ... so have various interpersonal conflicts and challenges ... but coming up on 60 I see them as a chance to complete a karmic lesson before I die ... so I'm often interested in what the cards might say about it. Whether reading for myself or having someone else read.

So, the content and focus of my readings has changed over the years ... but I still like to get readings.  I have a friend who's 83 and we swap sometimes. She does my iching and I do her cards.

Edited September 24, 2023 by Misterei

[GreatDane]

I understand, Misterei.  It depends on where one is in one's life and what one is looking for. 

 

For my spiritual and inner life, those are readings I do for myself.  Maybe it's the psychology major in me 🙂  I know what I want to tune into and get exactly what the card(s) are telling me.  You are fortunate to have someone who knows you and you trust.  There are many excellent readers out there, but you are most astute when you say you are looking for different things to ask at your age, at each stage of our lives we may look for different things.  I don't feel the need or urge to have a reading often, as I feel my path and my direction, but there are times when I wish to look at another perspective and then I ask the cards myself.  I've noticed as I age, questions narrow out, like focusing through a lens.

 

You also mentioned still being somewhat in the world, having interpersonal conflicts and challenges.  As far as interpersonal challenges, I've generally used my psych background to deal with any personal relationships and that isn't what I developed an interest in Tarot anyway.  It was more about me, my path, and in my late 50's and early 60's, I did more readings for myself and even had some readings from others, as my path toward my later life was still forming (moved from one state to another at 60, various changes).  Even then, most of the time, I found my own readings gave me more of what I was zeroing in on, although I did have a couple  good readings from others.

 

Not getting readings from others doesn't mean I know all the answers to all life's questions, not by a long shot, in fact the older I get, the more I study and learn. 

 

 

 

[GreatDane]

Misterei, thanks to you, I remembered when I was going through a lot of change at 59, 60 and I would read for myself and keep a journal with questions and answers!  It was most hopeful. 

 

Making some BIG changes then, it offered more for me to think about, look at options over what I would do and my path.  Hard to believe that was 13 or 14 years ago!  But yes, at that time in my life where I was making some critical decisions, doing readings helped me ponder and focus on various outcomes, like a BIG move.

[Misterei]

11 minutes ago, GreatDane said:

Misterei, thanks to you, I remembered when I was going through a lot of change at 59, 60 ...

Making some BIG changes then ...

LOL I keep wondering when the big changes will end. If I make it to 73 ... maybe life will have calmed down and there wont be so many changes and conflicts and "growth" all the time ...

I'm curious  ... do you read on your own spiritual process or inner life?

Or do you approach that through other forms of meditation? Or maybe not at all?

[GreatDane]

GOOD questions, Misterei!  

 

I am a big fan of meditation and actually, when I do readings for myself, that's like a form of meditation to me 🙂  I have been into meditation, started yoga in my teens.  I meditate by not trying to NOT think or by thinking, I sit in stillness and as thoughts come and go, I acknowledge and dismiss them, basically focusing on my breath.  

 

I don't tend to read much for myself these days as I have settled in many ways.  And I started reading about my personal journey, but a lot has changed since my late 50's and early 60's.  SO many questions then as to HOW I was going to make a move, and I only had ONE move I could financially make, at 60, alone (unless you want to count my now elderly dog, but he wasn't saying much :-))

 

BUT I find the older I get the more I want to learn, I have always been fascinated, since an early age with various religions, I love philosophy, I used to hang with Tibetan monks that were in the US (THAT was amazing).  But now at 72, I realize no matter how much I learn, how much I study, there is only so much we can learn in this life, but that doesn't keep me from trying.

 

IF I had something I felt I needed to read on, I would, it just doesn't happen as much these days.  I do enjoy meditation to focus and clear my mind.  I do mind exercises, like chess, daily. 

 

If I had to sum it all up for me, at this point in my life, Misterei, it would be I work to distill things.   Everything is about energy, intent and focus.  Once one feels the things one wishes to focus on, that's where anything one may wish to use to help one do that comes into play.  I don't know if that was very clear, but thanks for asking the question!  

 

THAT is what helps me more, than me asking people questions or getting readings, is someone  asking me questions, because it makes me think, feel and that's where the fun begins! 🙂

 

 

[Natural Mystic Guide]

When I am on vacation, I love getting a reading from another Tarot professional.  I mostly do it to learn and to evaluate the 'competition'.  I like seeing people's set up and how they do things.  It's not so much that I 'need' a reading on something in particular.  (If I did, then I would go to someone whom I know and trust.  This is pretty rare as I am very attuned to my Guidance Team.) 

 

I've had some terrific readings.  I have some lousy readings.  One of the worst was when this lady, in the middle of our reading calls and starts talking to her daughter on the phone about logistics of the day. 

[Misterei]

28 minutes ago, Natural Mystic Guide said:

... One of the worst was when this lady, in the middle of our reading calls and starts talking to her daughter on the phone about logistics of the day. 

Now that is some truly UNprofessional behavior. wtf?

[GreatDane]

YIKES, Natural Mystic Guide.  That would be like having any other type of professional eat fast food while offering their services.

[AlbaTross]

I don't think I'd be opposed to being read for, but as someone who does all my own readings, I have yet to have someone read for me.  I could consider going to a professional, but some charge as much as it costs for a mass market deck, which I can use to do as many readings as I want.  Of course, the professionals are likely really, really good at what they do, and could probably teach me a thing or two, so maybe I'll give it a try one day, but it's probably something I would try once, and only when I have enough disposable income to warrant it.  I'm all for a friend doing a reading for me, if any of them wanted to read with their own deck (I'll retain exclusive rights to read with the decks I own, than you).  There's only one friend I know of that has a couple decks, and he only tried it after I got into it, and I don't know if he was ever that serious about it, so I don't know if he still does it.  

 

So, TL:DR, I'm not against someone doing a reading for me, but as it stands currently, I've done a number of readings for others, and have had a grand total of zero done for me by anyone other than myself.  

[GreatDane]

Good points, AlbaTross.  I just figure we all get interested in Tarot for our own reasons, for me, it was going inward, using as a tool for myself.  Yet I know there are excellent readers out there that can offer querants insights they don't get in their own readings and I know that readers often read for people who don't read period.  That's why they go to readers.  So there are myriad reasons to have someone read for one or just read for oneself.  For me it depends on what any of us are looking for from Tarot and what works for each of us.  

[RunningWild]

I turned 61 over the summer and I’ve had to stop working.  It never occurred to me that late 50s/early 60s was a time of transition for so many.

 

I’m not fond of getting readings for various reasons, not the least of which is that I just don’t feel the angst over anything like one does when they’re younger.  I think I may have posted something similar on the forum a couple of years ago.  

 

I rarely do self-readings, either.  

 

For a long time, online, there was a group of us that honed our reading skills and so did readings for each other but while I’m a very here-and-now kind of person with a love of predictions (for the then-and-there), others in the group were more interested in spiritual development.  When it came to reading me, as soon as I heard the words “your guides want you to know that…” I tuned it out.  That sort of thing has never been my cup of tea and never will be.

[gregory]

Actually - yes indeed ! I'm even older than the OP - and there are vanishingly few ares I want to have read on. In circles I find it very hard to think of a focus - one gets to a stage in life where there isn't much one wants to look into in this way.

[Arania]

3 hours ago, RunningWild said:

For a long time, online, there was a group of us that honed our reading skills and so did readings for each other but while I’m a very here-and-now kind of person with a love of predictions (for the then-and-there), others in the group were more interested in spiritual development.  When it came to reading me, as soon as I heard the words “your guides want you to know that…” I tuned it out.  That sort of thing has never been my cup of tea and never will be.

Hah, oh yeah, this. Even if  working with spirits, many people tend to get annoyed at such readings unless they've asked for a spirit reading. It always feels like the reader is unsure or wants to force their spirituality on you.

[GreatDane]

Interesting you brought up spiritual readings, Arania.  I have had one or two done where I asked specific questions about those who moved on.  It was comforting, but then I knew and trusted the person doing it. 

 

And again, I get there are great readers who help people put things into perspective, but in basically what is kind of lockdown for me right now (two friends got ill within a week of each other, luckily I had not be around them and they'll be fine), having some medical issues (who DOESN'T after a certain age?), anything I would want food for thought on, I would read on for myself.  

[Tanga]

When I was younger - I went regularly to an Astrologist and had some Tarot readings here and there, whilst in process of trying to figure out who I was and where I was going (as you do)... Then some while later I did a number of self-development courses and saw several counceller/psychotherapy people for a while, & even a couples councillor with my partner. Plus - my sister-in-law is a breath work practitioner, my sister is a yoga teacher, & my brother is a psychotherapist.

So... by 40 - I'd been round the block of recognising my patterns and pitfalls of thinking etc. etc. Not that I don't fall, but when I do I can work out what next if I can put my mind to it - or when I can't see the wood for the trees - I have someone to ask with the available therapists in the family.

Since then - I've never really felt like being read for (interestingly some people find this puzzling and annoying in turn - lol, when I'm at Tarot clubs and such) though I'm happy to read. 

Like @Natural Mystic Guide I have readings when I'm interested in the readers style - or if I just feel like I'd like to be immersed in a live process for a treat.

 

The reading I do for myself is things like: one card draws for interesting thoughts for the day, exercises for lucid dreaming experiments, or I use cards to decompress issues I am working through - or even to add some humour to my day, I ask my guides what comment they each have for me and draw a card... these answers usually turn out rather silly/funny for me.

[Eugenie]

This was a very interesting thread to read. 

I mostly feel that I don't want to be read for. I am very introverted and asking people to read for me means an effort, same as inviting guests. And I can only invite guests when I have enough energy, and lately this has not been the case. 

I have very few questions to ask about myself, and those that I do have, I prefer to ask myself. 

However, I greatly enjoy reading for other people. I love the feeling of interaction with the cards, and how they seem to give these very meaningful and thoughtful answers. 

[Disa]

This is a great question and I've enjoyed reading all of the responses.

 

I've never particularly enjoyed being on the receiving side of a reading. Especially face to face readings.  I feel uncomfortable when the reader is really off and I don't know what to say to them. 

 

I remember years ago when I was first starting to read, I went to a psychic fair and had two tarot readings.  They were horrible!!!  Luckily they were cheap and I mainly went to see how professionals do it.  I thought well, hey if they can do it this badly surely I can try to do better.  I always want to go to readers at the Ren Fest or when I'm on vacation, just to see how they do it, but I never end up following through.

 

I did get a very good astrology reading once.  I think it helps that I know next to nothing of astrology. 

 

I also rarely read for myself. 

 

When I was first learning the cards I did more readings for myself so that I could learn.  But, I don't have many questions because I usually trust my intuition and follow it.  That's also the reason I don't participate in more of the reading exchange threads.  I just don't have a lot of questions.

 

Occasionally I read for myself, when something big is going on and I need to sort through it.  In those cases I write it all down and work through things as I 'journal" it. 

 

If something really big is going on, as is happening now, and I  am seriously too close to the situation- I seek out one of you guys.  Most recently I went to Grizabella and she was a tremendous comfort.  The situation still isn't resolved to my satisfaction,  but at least I have hope. ( Thanks again, Griz ❤️ )

 

I haven't read for others in quite some time. I do enjoy it when I have  a chance. ( I quite like giving face to face readings now more than email ones. ) This past 2 years have been extremely difficult and I haven't even done the monthly readings I put up on my website all year.  I have barely picked up my cards at all.  I feel disconnected and off balance, so this is really when I need to use them. It will bring me back to my center. Then I can venture out into doing more readings for others, I think.

[Misterei]

5 hours ago, Disa said:

This is a great question and I've enjoyed reading all of the responses.

 

I've never particularly enjoyed being on the receiving side of a reading. Especially face to face readings.  I feel uncomfortable when the reader is really off and I don't know what to say to them. ... I remember years ago when I was first starting to read, I went to a psychic fair and had two tarot readings.  They were horrible!!!  Luckily they were cheap ...

LOL sometimes you get what you pay for };>

But a GOOD reading can be a wonderful experience.

 

As a professional who charges mid-range prices ... I always check in with the client to make sure things are resonating. I literally offer a refund if not.

In the past 5 years of pro readings I only had one client ask for refund ... she was on-line and I felt like she was scamming me anyway. Like I normally do video chat but she refused to turn on her camera. And the reading actually WAS accurate but I told her something she didn't want to hear [the guy at work isn't interested in you]. I refunded her the money just to be rid of her.

[DanielJUK]

I really like reading for others, rather than reading for myself and getting readings. I think getting readings is useful when you have plenty of things to read about but I mostly don't and like to help others and learn.

Furthermore, I have learnt with experience that you have to be so careful about who you get readings from. I would leave the readings from here out of this because this is a place of learning. But I sometimes buy readings from people with interesting methods that I want to see how it works out and many readers are unethical and not great! So many readers on major sites out there give bad readings in my experience, the quality of the readings here are so much better! So becareful getting readings from just someone random out there, especially if you can't see any of their previous readings ❤️ .