What are your thoughts about advice readings (to get what you want from others)?

[Lovebird]

I mean readings where you ask things like : what can I do to catch that person attention, so they like me? 

Or What should I do to recover my ex back? That sort of thing that seems "forced" 

Do you do that kind of readings? I have learned in my tarot journey and in my life that not everything will be as one wants, but then... I rather like asking things like "What are their feelings about me?" Would they want to back with me again (have a relationship ? And then if the answer is yes maybe ask for further advice. 

 

Advice readings to improve ourselves.. I support those. 

 

 

[Raggydoll]

39 minutes ago, Lovebird said:

What should I do to recover my ex back?

I do not necessarily think this typ of question is 'bad' in a moral or ethical sense, but I know from experience that it is less reliable to ask questions that are based on assumptions. 

 

I personally do not think that all readings must be about improving ourselves. I think it is perfectly fine to ask about the future or to perform readings on seemingly vain or profane topics. Tarot can be helpful in so many different scenarios. 

 

 

[Lovebird]

51 minutes ago, Raggydoll said:

I do not necessarily think this typ of question is 'bad' in a moral or ethical sense, but I know from experience that it is less reliable to ask questions that are based on assumptions. 

 

I personally do not think that all readings must be about improving ourselves. I think it is perfectly fine to ask about the future or to perform readings on seemingly vain or profane topics. Tarot can be helpful in so many different scenarios. 

 

 

Thank you for your reply. I agree, those are assumptions. 

 

In these examples, how do you think it can help them if you don't mind me asking? In the case that it is something unlikely they can get but still want to get, how the reading van help. 

[Chariot]

54 minutes ago, Lovebird said:

Thank you for your reply. I agree, those are assumptions. 

 

In these examples, how do you think it can help them if you don't mind me asking? In the case that it is something unlikely they can get but still want to get, how the reading van help. 

If you want to know how things stand, and maybe what can be done in a situation, it's important, I reckon, to phrase the question as specifically as you can.  Build a spread around the questions you want answered.

Just a few examples:

What is the starting situation? Or present position?  (This card should make sense, because you already know what the present situation is, right?  If it doesn't make sense, you  might want to re-do the reading or re-phrase your query.  If this card does makes sense, you know you're on the right track, and can take on board what the tarot is telling you in the rest of the spread.)

 
What is fact?  What is illusion? (Use a separate card for each)

What are my opportunities?

What should I avoid?

What is helping now?

What is not helping now?

Advice  (My favourite card position, because it gives me something to do or an attitude to take)

What am I missing? (What is going on that I don't know about?)

New perspective to consider.

What do I need to know?

How does the other person feel about this issue? (If this is important to know.)

 

How will the situation evolve?  

Obviously you aren't going to cram all these questions into one spread.  But they can give you a notion of how to frame your question.  I think it's important to assign a specific position in each spread to answer each question, though.  I'd say avoid pulling a bunch of cards at random, hoping they'll tell you something without actually assigning a particular subject or question to each one.

I do recommend using reversals as well, so you'll know for sure if it's the positive or negative (opposite) aspect of the card that matters in this situation.  However, lots of people don't use reversals, and prefer to use intuition to discover which aspect is pertinent. If you work that way that's fine, too.
 

 

Edited May 20 by Chariot

[JoyousGirl]

Depending on the spread / number of cards pulled, the cards will probably give you the progression of the situation to where it currently stands.

 

So, with the question   what can I do to catch that person attention, so they like me?  The cards might show the background of the situation, where you met, or other environment that surrounds the people in question.

 

Really, I think the cards will probably tell you what your internal dialogue is missing, what you are overlooking in the question of your 'fantasy'. 

 

Now, with the question What should I do to recover my ex back?  The cards will show the circumstances that led to the breakup, well, I imagine so. And perhaps more information around the situation. We often forget what was wrong in relationships because we have a fixed image of someone or the relationship itself. We think of the good not the overall % of unhappiness to happiness. Love does something to our brains.

 

So, those questions will happen, but the cards will probably tell us the reality of the situation. As readers, we'd probably discuss the background, the issues identified in the cards. We'd hold a mirror up to the sitter, bring other thoughts to bear. Were they deluded? Did they do something 'unforgivable' or? Was there a lesson we are meant to learn? The difficulty happens when we read for ourselves and are wanting to see ourselves in a positive light. We're both light and shadow. 

 

Now, to sum it up. The individual cards will each be a mirror that we hold up to ourselves. Like in a dress shop changing room, we need to look at ourselves from different angles, our posterior and our side view and from the front. They'll give us advice or answers but we need to see the whole shape and form of what we're dealing with to understand where we're at and where we can go. The interactions among the cards are the different facets engaging within us and the outside world - just as Courts can indicate other people or other aspects of ourselves.

 

I'm not sure if that helped or made any sense.

 

 

 

 

[Lovebird]

7 hours ago, Chariot said:

If you want to know how things stand, and maybe what can be done in a situation, it's important, I reckon, to phrase the question as specifically as you can.  Build a spread around the questions you want answered.

Just a few examples:

What is the starting situation? Or present position?  (This card should make sense, because you already know what the present situation is, right?  If it doesn't make sense, you  might want to re-do the reading or re-phrase your query.  If this card does makes sense, you know you're on the right track, and can take on board what the tarot is telling you in the rest of the spread.)

 
What is fact?  What is illusion? (Use a separate card for each)

What are my opportunities?

What should I avoid?

What is helping now?

What is not helping now?

Advice  (My favourite card position, because it gives me something to do or an attitude to take)

What am I missing? (What is going on that I don't know about?)

New perspective to consider.

What do I need to know?

How does the other person feel about this issue? (If this is important to know.)

 

How will the situation evolve?  

Obviously you aren't going to cram all these questions into one spread.  But they can give you a notion of how to frame your question.  I think it's important to assign a specific position in each spread to answer each question, though.  I'd say avoid pulling a bunch of cards at random, hoping they'll tell you something without actually assigning a particular subject or question to each one.

I do recommend using reversals as well, so you'll know for sure if it's the positive or negative (opposite) aspect of the card that matters in this situation.  However, lots of people don't use reversals, and prefer to use intuition to discover which aspect is pertinent. If you work that way that's fine, too.
 

 

Thank you for your reply

Yes for situations where they want to know where they stand seems better to offer spreads that help them gain more insight

[Lovebird]

3 hours ago, JoyousGirl said:

Depending on the spread / number of cards pulled, the cards will probably give you the progression of the situation to where it currently stands.

 

So, with the question   what can I do to catch that person attention, so they like me?  The cards might show the background of the situation, where you met, or other environment that surrounds the people in question.

 

Really, I think the cards will probably tell you what your internal dialogue is missing, what you are overlooking in the question of your 'fantasy'. 

 

Now, with the question What should I do to recover my ex back?  The cards will show the circumstances that led to the breakup, well, I imagine so. And perhaps more information around the situation. We often forget what was wrong in relationships because we have a fixed image of someone or the relationship itself. We think of the good not the overall % of unhappiness to happiness. Love does something to our brains.

 

So, those questions will happen, but the cards will probably tell us the reality of the situation. As readers, we'd probably discuss the background, the issues identified in the cards. We'd hold a mirror up to the sitter, bring other thoughts to bear. Were they deluded? Did they do something 'unforgivable' or? Was there a lesson we are meant to learn? The difficulty happens when we read for ourselves and are wanting to see ourselves in a positive light. We're both light and shadow. 

 

Now, to sum it up. The individual cards will each be a mirror that we hold up to ourselves. Like in a dress shop changing room, we need to look at ourselves from different angles, our posterior and our side view and from the front. They'll give us advice or answers but we need to see the whole shape and form of what we're dealing with to understand where we're at and where we can go. The interactions among the cards are the different facets engaging within us and the outside world - just as Courts can indicate other people or other aspects of ourselves.

 

I'm not sure if that helped or made any sense.

 

 

 

 

Thank you for your reply ☺️Yes it makes sense, but

probably if I tell them about how things are unfolding, that wont answer to what they want to know, like a way to get what they want, but it may as well tell them the likely outcome that wont always be what they want, and they'll accept what is out of their hands 🤔. 

[Raggydoll]

9 hours ago, Lovebird said:

 

In these examples, how do you think it can help them if you don't mind me asking? In the case that it is something unlikely they can get but still want to get, how the reading van help. 

I understand that you want every reading to be as helpful as possible for the client.

I think there is a difference between our definitions of ‘helpful’ here though.
 

I want the reading to be as helpful as possible, in that I want it to get the client a detailed answer to the question they are asking. And if they want me to help them tweak their question to get an even more specific or elaborate answer, I will. But I do not think in terms of “is this what is right for the client?”. I am not a psychologist nor do do I walk in their shoes. I am a reader and this reading is about them, not me. They are allowed to ask questions that is different from what I think I would personally have done if I was in their situation. I believe they have a right to live their life the way they want to, and if they entertain a hope that to me seems unattainable, it is still not my job as a reader to have opinions on that. It’s only if they want a reading to find out whether their hope is unattainable that I will chime in on it. But it will then be about what the card says, not what I personally think. See the difference? 

[gregory]

One thing I won't do is read on a question that makes an assumption. "When will he leave his wife for me ?" Well, who says he will. But when asking that,  the sitter's wishes mean that nothing I say that isn't at least an indication that he WILL leave her will be OK with them - it's a non-starter. It also won't help them at all, as predictions are not set in stone. The furthest I would go would be something like "What can I do to make our relationship better." If he were ever to leave his wife - that's the kind of thing that might increase their chances... But when the sitter wants something that badly and can't see past it to the possibility that what they want probably won't happen, it's not going to be a great reading anyway.

[FindYourSovereignty]

5 hours ago, gregory said:

One thing I won't do is read on a question that makes an assumption.

 

This ^^^

 

7 hours ago, Raggydoll said:

it will then be about what the card says, not what I personally think.

 

And this. ^^^

[Lovebird]

9 hours ago, Raggydoll said:

I understand that you want every reading to be as helpful as possible for the client.

I think there is a difference between our definitions of ‘helpful’ here though.
 

I want the reading to be as helpful as possible, in that I want it to get the client a detailed answer to the question they are asking. And if they want me to help them tweak their question to get an even more specific or elaborate answer, I will. But I do not think in terms of “is this what is right for the client?”. I am not a psychologist nor do do I walk in their shoes. I am a reader and this reading is about them, not me. They are allowed to ask questions that is different from what I think I would personally have done if I was in their situation. I believe they have a right to live their life the way they want to, and if they entertain a hope that to me seems unattainable, it is still not my job as a reader to have opinions on that. It’s only if they want a reading to find out whether their hope is unattainable that I will chime in on it. But it will then be about what the card says, not what I personally think. See the difference? 

 

That's very valuable that you respect their questions and read them regardless of the case. 

 

This isn't about being a psychologist or being right or wrong but about being realistic and if the cards in the reading prior to those questions and their experiences, more than just their wishes didn't give any hope regarding where they stand , I won't give them false hopes if there's nothing to be hopeful about in the cards about that particular topic. Some people are in denial and  they STILL want to find a way to get what they want...I really tell them that given the reading.. That question is uncalled for... I know it may sound harsh and in the end it is something they'll find out by themselves but if there's nothing hopeful to see I say that. 

 

[Lovebird]

7 hours ago, gregory said:

Quote

One thing I won't do is read on a question that makes an assumption. "When will he leave his wife for me ?"

Well, who says he will. But when asking that,  the sitter's wishes mean that nothing I say that isn't at least an indication that he WILL leave her will be OK with them - it's a non-starter. It also won't help them at all, as predictions are not set in stone. The furthest I would go would be something like "What can I do to make our relationship better." If he were ever to leave his wife - that's the kind of thing that might increase their chances... But when the sitter wants something that badly and can't see past it to the possibility that what they want probably won't happen, it's not going to be a great reading anyway.

I like that approach 😁👌

 

Hahaha those questions, when I see them I laugh in my mind and not cause it is funny but because they are so certain that will happen! 🫣😁

One asked me once " will I end up with guy A or guy B"? 

And no... The cards showed issues with both and that it wouldnt be with anyone of them 😁

 

Mm so how do you tell them you cant read those questions, do they get upset? 

 

 

Quote

One thing I won't do is read on a question that makes an assumption. "When will he leave his wife for me ?"

 

[Raggydoll]

56 minutes ago, Lovebird said:

I won't give them false hopes if there's nothing to be hopeful about in the cards about that particular topic.

Yes, we do not want to give anyone false hope. My point is that you can’t know if it’s a false hope before actually doing the reading. 
 

56 minutes ago, Lovebird said:

Some people are in denial and  they STILL want to find a way to get what they want

Very true! It will be up to the reader if they take on clients that seem obsessive about a specific thing. I have turned people down when they wish to ask the same thing over and over without allowing any time to pass between the readings. I don’t like to treat divination as a magic 8 ball that you keep shaking to get new answers 😄

[gregory]

5 hours ago, Lovebird said:

Mm so how do you tell them you cant read those questions, do they get upset? 

 

Sometimes. But that is - in the end - their problem. There are readers out there who will tell them what they want to hear, and they will carry on looking till they find one of those anyway, so even though a reader who will simply deliver the message you want to hear isn't a reader I'd want to use - not my problem, but not great for tarot's reputation !