How do you balance answering a question and giving advice when you do a reading for someone else?

[StarkRavenMad]

Ive been doing practice readings for people, and Ive run into the conundrum of trying to strike a balance between answering the querents question and answering them according to my intuition, specifically in the context of when they ask about how someone theyre no contact with thinks of them/feels about them. 

 

Ive run across this a couple times, where someone asked me this, and the cards read, to me, like the person they were asking about had moved on and it was time for them to do the same, and some of the clarifying cards I pulled seemed to suggest the same to me. 

 

Maybe my perspective as someone who is going into social work has influenced me and makes me reluctant to even consider encouraging someone to dwell on their past like that, but it makes me wonder how others handle this sort of thing. How closely do you stick to the questions you receive when youre reading the cards to be more advice giving than asked? 

[JoyousGirl]

You read the cards. You tell the truth of what you see. You also explain life.

 

Consider it like being on a bus or a train. We travel with people for some of the way, sometimes they get off, sometimes we get off, sometimes they travel most of the way with us. They have a journey to take and a place they have planned on going to just as we do, we have lessons to learn from each other. We go to other places and may return with gifts, or come back empty handed (for example, people who break up and then get back together. Sometimes the partner has grown and become a better partner, or there's been no change and we part ways forever).

 

The trouble today - I think what you're saying, is that it's almost as if people want to be lied to and it's offensive to tell the truth!  The government trains it into you - business success relies on it, people expect it from you.  It's of a bit of an ego thing and how we want to be seen ultimately "be nice or they won't like you"-  and we want people to be like us not out of the box (a bit narcissistic really). You see that in groups where "culture fit" is an element.

 

Are we someone who says sorry when we've done the wrong thing and admit it out loud without saying "but", or evade the truth of what's been going on and pretend as if it didn't happen?  Which is the  less evolved way? 

 

We have become soft to the truth and when it comes to romance we really are in a dream world. We create an image of someone in our heads and hold onto it, but people change, just like we do. Don't believe the myth "people don't change" because that is a projection and a fixed image we hold of people in our head - it is us that refuses to allow people to be whatever they are in each moment.

 

So after all that, tell what you see, be honest, but gentle, because we are helping people with their spiritual development. Sometimes we're meant to be partnered, sometimes we're meant to be on a path of self-growth. Sometimes we need to realise that we don't love or like someone, we just like the image we've created of them. Think of how many people would say "What on earth did I see in them?!" They had nothing in common, they were just infatuated for a time.

 

Anyway, after that ramble, just say what you see, explain the cards and tell them what the advice is. We are also counsellors.

 

 

 

 

[Grizabella]

I only give them what the cards say.  I make sure I'm not interjecting anything of my own opinion while I do that, even if the message isn't what the sitter would like to hear.  If the sitter wants to talk afterward, then I make sure they understand which is the message from the cards and which is my own input but I don't advise them unless it's been revealed by the cards. If they want more cards then I may draw more, but sometimes that gets into a prolonged reading that includes more than one topic and I have to steer it back to closer to the original query, especially if I'm pressed for time like in a setting where there are more sitters waiting.

 

In the case of someone wanting me to tell them (from the cards) how someone feels or what they think,  I tell them "I read cards, I don't read minds" and smile and then draw a card or two more to see if the cards do reveal anything else.  

 

Also, a word on intuition---I think it's easy to mistake your own opinion and consider it to be "intuition".  I've often had my own very strong opinions try to weasel their way into a reading but I keep them to myself.  It's really hard to do sometimes, especially if the reading involves domestic violence.  

Edited Tuesday at 12:44 AM by Grizabella

[Rose Lalonde]

18 minutes ago, Grizabella said:

I make sure they understand which is the message from the cards and which is my own input

I just do readings for friends and reading circles here, but yes, this is the key for me.   I had a recent comment here where I described what I saw in someone's 2 card reading, and another forum member -- actually it was @JoyousGirl above 🙂 -- replied that in a certain situation, that wouldn't be good advice, and I completely agree. That's the part where, after feedback in a circle, for instance, when the sitter usually wants to share more details, I could say, hey, my own view is this, if it turned into a conversation, or I felt it was important to mention briefly.

 

If someone wants a tarot reading, they want to know what the cards say. They don't sign up in a circle here thinking, I wonder what Rose Lalonde will think about this situation? 😂

 

BUT, with all that said, a reading is influenced by which reader you get. Otherwise all readers would interpret a spread in the same way, and you could just do random online draws. When I just say what I see in the cards, the "I" is definitely important. Most threads here asking for interpretation advice will have varied responses depending on who answers. I can't take myself out of that equation (and wouldn't want to).  @StarkRavenMad you mentioned when the cards say something that you personally don't agree with, so I think you're good, since you know what part is the cards and what part is your own feeling on the matter based on your background. How you handle each of those is ultimately up to you.

[DanielJUK]

Emotional matters of the heart can really mess you up, you want someone but you're not currently talking. Often in emotional matters, the querent wants to hear good news, they are desperate to hear it's going to work out. But they are going with their heart, not their head. We have to just say what we see or feel or sense in the cards. The part about the dangers of opinion, are about commenting on the situation with advice and personally I try to only give advice based on the cards I am seeing. Like the others have said, there may be a chance to give your personal opinion later but in the reading, you have to say what's in the cards.

 

If the cards say there is no chance ahead, I will gently and sensitively break this news to them. That is the answer to the question and the advice. I can't say there is a really happy future ahead because maybe the "bad news" is the best kind of advice. Looking back, they might have really needed to move on from that person and look out for new opportunities. It's painful and moving on is the hardest route to take but not moving on can be the worst decision in the long term and causes more pain and heartbreak.

 

If someone has asked a question about this, I think you have to say what you see / feel / sense. They might want to hear that everything will work out between them but that's not the truth of the reading. Sometimes you get really difficult readings to give and you have to be sensitive and honest I think. They of course can do with the reading advice what they want.