Addiction to buying cards

[Nivian]

I have a lot of tarot decks. Too many. They are glittering jewels. I want more of them but I must stop myself. Why all this craving for more? I asked my Psychic Oracle deck this morning if I should buy the Chakra Oracle deck and I got the Temptation card, (devil.) Aha. There we go. I must look at where my addictions in life are at this time. Is it food, money, gambling, sex, alcohol, drugs, work? Cards. I have an addiction to cards because I somehow think I will find the ONE. The ONE right deck just for me. The one that I will be able to psychically access at all times. The ONE that will never let me down.

 

The truth is...a deck of cards is just, well...a deck of cards. They don't hum or vibrate or talk to me. They don't swing into 3d and jump out of their borders to sit with me and tell me everything I want to know. I have to find the Spirit, or Divine Source, God...whatever I want to call IT, inside of me. I know this already...the cards are just a tool.

 

I feel like sometimes I have no Power to hold onto. Like nothing is there outside of me. I am filling this void with cards. I am going to meditate every day instead of just twice a week. I am going to seek the wise guru inside of me instead of seeking it, he, she in the material world. I am going to pay attention to myself and notice what is really going on when I WANT a new deck. What or how am I not being fulfilled? How can I connect to Source; the fountain of infinity that flows through us all? How can I live in the glow of positive flow where all my needs are met because I don't have any?

 

 

[AJ-ish/Sharyn]

even if/when you find the one deck, in six months or a year You will have changed enough that it will no longer be The deck.

 

One way to start changing the addiction is take those bookmarks off your computer.

 

total number of deck is why I began doing a deck a week. All decks in rotation. It really helped me define wish and want decks out of my collection.

 

I'm not lecturing, honest, but buying wants when you may have a credit card balance that isn't paid off every month. buying when you haven't funded your Roth that month. When nothing has gone into kids college fund. If you haven't doubled your house payment.  I could go on for days :) Use the decks you have.

[Raggydoll]

This is such an important topic and it does not get the serious attention that it deserves. Every discussion about this seem to end up with lots of jokes and even more enabling. But this is a serious thing and we are not being a good friend if we convince another person that what they are doing is OK - just because we are doing the very same thing! I commend you for talking about this and taking action.

 

It is totally doable to turn this thing around but it will take a lot of effort. Try to distance yourself from social media or YouTube channels revolving around tarot. Those can be so toxic if you have an actual addiction. Unsubscribe from any related newsletters as well. Go into Hermit-mode for awhile. It will become easier to resist the temptation with time. And I bet you will find that your intuition and inspiration will kick up substantially during this process. It will be so rewarding in all the ways that truly count. Sending you lots of encouragement!

 

And remember: Wanting less is even better than buying less!

[Page of Ghosts]

This is so relatable Nivian, so thanks for opening this discussion.

 

I fell into the "perfect deck" trap when I first got into tarot and so I had (and still have) many decks in my collection that I don't use. They're hard to let go of because I feel like I'm letting go of some past ambition and that has always been hard for me. While my collection wasn't and isn't as huge as other people on the forum I know of (at the most I think there was around 40 decks or a little more) it can still be really overwhelming for me. I've gotten more into minimalism over the summer and overall that has been helpful to face some of my unhealthy spending habits. When I've felt uncomfortable, depressed or lost it's been easy to buy certain items that have served as a quick fix in the moment. Not just tarot decks, which would not be such a quick fix because I have to wait around 10 days for them to arrive, but stuff like lipstick, art supplies and notebooks. I also very easily form emotional attachment to items so that's also another issue when it comes to getting rid of stuff. I've never had any economical problems because of my spending habits, it's all been from my disposable income after all the bills are accounted for, but it's still not cool to have all this stuff sitting around not being used and I'd really enjoy a plumper savings account.

 

Circling back to tarot decks again, I've developed less of a collector and "perfect deck" mindset in the last year. I've become more confident in my taste of art and systems (RWS all the way) so the decks I've gotten in the last year, year and a half, are more in tune with that. I enjoy beautiful art, but there needs to be more to a deck than that. I wish my decks to be functional and in use, to not just sit there and take up space. Enjoying the art of a deck doesn't mean it will be a good deck to actually use, so I've thanked some of my decks for teaching me that. In many cases there are other ways for me to enjoy the artwork of the deck, like looking at pictures online, and just because I think a deck is pretty it doesn't mean I have to possess it myself. There are decks I haven't even given a fair chance because they're served as a quick fix and once the novelty wore off I was on the hunt for the next big thing. Right now I've made a system where I keep up to 10 decks at a time in a box in my living room which serve as my current working decks I can choose from and the rest is in my closet. That has helped to break some of that emotional attachment, and with less to choose from I am not overwhelmed anymore. Of course I can trade a deck from storage with one in the working box if I want to :)) Yesterday I donated around 10 decks and some companion books and I feel so relieved. Even though I really liked some of those decks for various reasons they weren't being used and right now that is the most important to me. My collection is down to 30 decks, which are mostly tarot with a few oracles and lenormand decks mixed in, but I still wish to downsize some more. Around 20 decks sounds like a good number, but you never know before you get there so I don't worry about the number too much.

 

Being aware of why you do as you do is half the struggle and then you can start to make a change. I don't know if any of this would be helpful to you but maybe to someone else then. With all these shiny trinkets available so easily to us it's no wonder many fall into the trap of making an unsatisfying dragon's hoard of some category or several! There are still decks on my wishlist and decks I want, but ultimately I want to spend more time with what I already own so I haven't bought anything since mid-June and I'd like to keep it that way for a long time, I think ;)

[Raggydoll]

So true! And another thing that I’ve come to realize is that just because something is pretty and just because I feel that I would love to own it - that does not mean that I should own it. I mean, whenever you go shopping with a friend and you tell them “Oh, I just LOVE this dress! (Or whatever) It is SO pretty!”, most of the time your friend will say “Then you should buy it!”, because your friend thinks you deserve awesome things (and you do, to a reasonable extent). But even though you totally deserve nice things, you are not entitled to them. They are not a human right of yours. Maybe it is perfectly fine to just admire beautiful things and then simply walk away? There is so much beauty in life and in nature and we don’t need to own it to appreciate it. In fact, the less things we claim for ourselves, the more is available to all humans as a group. And obviously, the very best things can’t be bought anyway. They are totally free for everyone to savor. Life, love and laughter, for example  <3

[Jewel]

I can also relate to what you are saying, and agree this is an important topic that often is taken lightly.  There was a very long period of time in which I went totally deck crazy, wanted them all, had decks arriving several days a week.  I was not searching for the perfect deck even, I just loved getting Tarot decks.  But most of them are sitting today on a shelf collecting dust and have only been looked through and never used.  I took a 3 to 4 year Tarot sabbatical where I dedicated myself to other hobbies, and though I would occasionally pull out a tarot or oracle deck I did not dedicate any real time to them and I did not purchase any decks.

 

I emerged back from that a little over a year ago and am now enjoying tarot more than ever, and better yet I have a totally new mind set, to get to know my collection and through experiencing them determine what to keep and what to let go of.  Like Aj-ish I decided to really get to know the decks I have, because frankly though they are the house they are still new to me because I have not used them!  I do what I call my Monthly Deck Project where I focus primarily on using one deck, read the companion book, journal with it, and do the vast majority of my readings with it.  At the end of the month I write a deck review of it, and determine if it goes into the keeper pile or the rehoming pile.  I have purchased 7 new decks this year (in the past I would have probably purchased 20-30).  I have learned the types of decks I enjoy working with, and like Page of Ghosts said, though I really like the art of some they just do not work for me.  Also like Page I have problems with emotional attachments to them, and that is something I am working on overcoming so I can really let some of these decks go.  I do not have a set number, but I do want to get to a point that I just have those that I enjoy using.  What good is a tool if you do not use it? right?

 

I am hoping to be able to trade decks I currently have for decks I want to explore, but if there are no takers I will most likely do like Page and box them up and take them to Half Priced Books, and see if Tarot Garden is interested in some of the rarer more collectible ones.

 

I wish you luck and strength.

[HOLMES]

posting again..

ever see that looney tunes espiode where elmer fudd says he won't hunt again, then bugs followed him around whispering to him"whats one little rabbit,, no one needs to know,, just one little rabbit "

beats me why , you figure that bugs would want to be left alone but as he says "ain't I a stinker " X-D

 

joking aside, I have some decks in my cooler I don't read with currently, old mythic, celtic tarot, norse tarot, and I realized as I read this there were decks I read when they first came out, vampire tarot of the eternal night for example.

that faded out why ? replaced by a newer deck. 

some new decks I buy goes into the cooler, (steampunk tarot ).

it is like movies up there for me (I say up there for besides my computer is a big book shelf full of old dvds and blue rays..

some of the movies I brought for entertainment and collection and some I don' watch anymore.

that said , I was looking for bachelor party and found it.. but I borrowed out my devils advocate (my only old movie from when It first came ouT and it NEVER CAME BACK 11).

 

but collecting tarot is going to be business later on down the line I am talking passing them on your children,, your childrens childrens, childrens (that line from hook ).

i realized quickly i would never ever come close to some of the biggest tarot collections,, AND couldnt' afford it.

so i have to curbe that enthusiasm.

especially when some of the old favourites are now out of print. witches tarot by cannon reed can' be found on amazon. (problay ebay but at higher price ) for example.

 

currently i would buy a new deck a year for the last 3 to 4 years in time for the first tarot reading event of the year..except for this year cycle as the shop keeper listened to me and ordered 2 decks that i brought for she ordered them for me and i forgot.

perhaps it is great that i live on a limited income or i would have 50 more decks eheh..

 

the other reason main one is the reason for many decks is when i go to public tarot revents i read with one,, and put it away for the day and have the client pick a new one for themselves when they sit down. this way the cards stay fresh in my mind.

 

going with page of ghosts motto.

yeah I go for high quality ,, if it is a subject that isn't covered before like magical dogs, or haunted house and looks beautiful then woot.

if it is just another waite clone that isn't different enough.(sure regret buying the radiant rider, it no longer gels with me, but love the universal waite, both the hanson Roberts and the redone images ).

so it is kind of like how I used to buy tons of tarot books then I realized I was buying the same information so I started to look for intermediate books ,, and advanced topics..

 

TREAT YOURSELF,, it is just one deck, no one needs to know.. it is so pretty. (only after doing your research,, making sure it is one you can afford,, really want ).. for elmer sure needs to eat that rabbit.. he is hungry.

 

[Raggydoll]

Holmes: What you are describing is not what I would classify as addiction. It would more fall under the category of feeling guilty over excessive shopping/collecting. And since Nivian chose the term “addiction” then I think that is what we should try to focus on here.

 

So everyone - I’m gonna ask that we skip the jokes and the enabling talk in this thread. Thanks  <3

[PathWalker]

Ok - then lets be honest, it doesn't matter if it's cards, or books or shoes, or any bloomin' thing. It's an addiction to shopping, to spending, to rewarding ourselves, to making ourselves feel temporarily better with material goods.

It's not a modern disease, but now more of us have the ability to do it.

 

So ask yourself what am I trying to cover up? Much more useful to know that, than spending time thinking about your particular addictive substance I think.

 

And yes, I have this too, so I'm not standing on the sidelines throwing stones.

[Aldor44]

Holmes: What you are describing is not what I would classify as addiction. It would more fall under the category of feeling guilty over excessive shopping/collecting. And since Nivian chose the term “addiction” then I think that is what we should try to focus on here.

 

So everyone - I’m gonna ask that we skip the jokes and the enabling talk in this thread. Thanks  <3

 

I actually really liked what Holmes has said- and his humor was very on point. I do second his notion- From my experience working with children who are very overweight -i.e. food addicts - I found that cutting them off completely doesn't work.. Because you usually crave the most that which you are forbidden to get. However, if you allow them a small and moderate taste once in a while- it does wonders. That is what I feel Holmes is saying- It is OK to treat yourself to something new and exciting- even if it is for the images alone- ONCE IN A WHILE. with the proper research and moderation..

 

I also love the idea of donating them.. Here in my country we don't have any psychic fares and  psychic /tarot shops ( we have a few small shops somewhere but I have never even visited any) I just order my decks online.

 

What I do is give some decks to people I think will enjoy them intuitively ( so far I have given 2 away and it was a great success)

Also- a nice Idea that came into mind was- When you feel you REALLY want a deck.. get it.. but give /donate/sell one deck in return.. That way you avoid having 10000000 decks and when you buy you only buy what you really like because you know that it comes at a cost of another one you already have..

 

I myself have very few decks.. less than 10 ( 9 i think which include 1 oracle and 2 Lenormand) - I read with 1.... well 2 but one ( used to use one then moved to the current one).. so why the heck do I need the other... ( I don't even practice Lenormand nowadays...)

And this month for the first time ever I ordered.. 3! new decks.. out of excitement of being back in the tarot world.. all RWS clones ( since that is what I use). None has arrived yet, but I am kinda having second thoughts now.. what will I do with 3 new decks..  as I have finally jelled with the one I am using now....

I am excited to get them.. but what next...

 

I will cross that bridge when I get there.. but I sure won't buy any more for the near future... and will see if i can find a home for at least one of the decks I don't use ( I don't know many people who read Tarot so that makes it more difficult) ...

 

But my point is.. we all fall into these little traps.. from time to time.... if you do it responsibly and with moderation.. I find it to be a beetler way of dealing with things than total deprivation.

[Page of Ghosts]

It's the same here Aldor44[/member], we don't have much in terms of tarot or metaphysical shops in Norway. There is one in the capital that I've visited and they have a lot of decks, books, crystals and other fun things there. But in my town I don't think there is anything. Donating them is very easy and doesn't take much effort aside from parting with the decks, so I really recommend it! We (me and my aide) usually donate things to the free shop at the recycling centre so I assume whoever find any of my decks will be very happy about it, even though some of them are trimmed ^-^

 

The good old "1 in 1 out"-rule is a one that I plan on following for a lot of purchases so stuff don't pile up. My home is far from barren but I'm really enjoying this much less packed space and I plan on keeping it that way. I hope you enjoy your new decks when they arrive! And like you said, you'll cross that bridge when you get there. The most important thing I've found is to be more honest with myself and acknowledge when something doesn't work out the way I wanted it to.

[Raggydoll]

But my point is.. we all fall into these little traps.. from time to time.... if you do it responsibly and with moderation.. I find it to be a beetler way of dealing with things than total deprivation.

 

Sure. I agree that everyone, at one point or another, can fall into the trap of excessive shopping and start feeling guilty about it (been there done that!). This is not, however, related to the medical condition called Addiction (where a person eventually starts to lie and manipulate in order to hide their addiction, and where they will continue with their destructive behaviour despite detrimental consequenses on self image, finances, personal relationships and so on). I just wanted to make this distinction clear so that you get where I am coming from  :)

 

 

 

 

[Guest Night Shade]

I can totally relate to your search for the ONE deck, Nivian.  I was always looking for the ONE; the deck that I could completely mesh with, that would resonate with my soul.  But the thing I finally realized is that the ONE deck doesn't exist.  Every deck has it's flaws, and there will always be another deck out there that seems better than the last.  My advice is to take the decks you already have and get to know them inside-out.  You'll learn a lot, and you may just find that your best deck was there all along (even if it isn't the ONE).

[Raggydoll]

I can totally relate to your search for the ONE deck, Nivian.  I was always looking for the ONE; the deck that I could completely mesh with, that would resonate with my soul.  But the thing I finally realized is that the ONE deck doesn't exist.  Every deck has it's flaws, and there will always be another deck out there that seems better than the last.  My advice is to take the decks you already have and get to know them inside-out.  You'll learn a lot, and you may just find that your best deck was there all along (even if it isn't the ONE).

 

Such great advice, and I think it holds true for many other things in life as well <3

[Grandma]

This is such an important topic and it does not get the serious attention that it deserves. Every discussion about this seem to end up with lots of jokes and even more enabling. But this is a serious thing and we are not being a good friend if we convince another person that what they are doing is OK - just because we are doing the very same thing! I commend you for talking about this and taking action.

Holmes: What you are describing is not what I would classify as addiction. It would more fall under the category of feeling guilty over excessive shopping/collecting. And since Nivian chose the term “addiction” then I think that is what we should try to focus on here.

So everyone - I’m gonna ask that we skip the jokes and the enabling talk in this thread. Thanks  <3

But my point is.. we all fall into these little traps.. from time to time.... if you do it responsibly and with moderation.. I find it to be a beetler way of dealing with things than total deprivation.

Sure. I agree that everyone, at one point or another, can fall into the trap of excessive shopping and start feeling guilty about it (been there done that!). This is not, however, related to the medical condition called Addiction (where a person eventually starts to lie and manipulate in order to hide their addiction, and where they will continue with their destructive behaviour despite detrimental consequenses on self image, finances, personal relationships and so on). I just wanted to make this distinction clear so that you get where I am coming from  :)

 

Thank you, Raggydoll.  As someone who struggles with a nontraditional, poorly understood addiction and also buys waaaay too many tarot decks, I know only too painfully the difference between these dynamics.

 

And Nivian[/member]  - Thank you.  It takes courage to share about these painful personal demons.

 

I don't know if you do any 12 Step work, but a lot of what you wrote fits right into that philosophy.  I'd be glad to talk about this, not to proselytize any particular model of treatment, 12 Step or other, but because I know it would be helpful for me and I hope it would be helpful for you.

 

PM might be a better place than here, but that's up to you.  Let me know if you are interested.

[Raggydoll]

Grandma: Please feel free to talk about it here as well, if you want to. I’m sure it could be of help for many people.

[Aldor44]

Grandma: Please feel free to talk about it here as well, if you want to. I’m sure it could be of help for many people.

 

I second that :D

 

I found this forum amazing and supportive and I truly feel an open conversation could benefit many

[Page of Ghosts]

Yes, Grandma, I would also love to hear what you have to say if you're interested in sharing with all of us.

[Grandma]

Thank you, Raggydoll.  As someone who struggles with a nontraditional, poorly understood addiction and also buys waaaay too many tarot decks, I know only too painfully the difference between these dynamics.

 

I need to clarify that point. 

 

I engage addictively in a particular behavior that is not problematic for most people, but it has, can, and may destroy me.

 

Collecting tarot decks is for me a hobby that sometimes needs reining in.  For Nivian, it is an addiction.  SHE GETS TO DETERMINE THIS, NOT ANYONE ELSE.  Cajoling her into buying just one more deck, or reassuring her it's not that bad, or making jokes, no matter how well intended, is enabling a painful problem and is disrespectful, counterproductive, and kind of mean.

 

As I was typing this, the last three comments were posted.  Thank you,  Raggydoll, Aldor44, and Page of Ghosts.  Let me think about it. 

[DownUnderNZer]

 

My addiction is not just with Tarot, Oracle or Lenormand cards. It is with a number of things, but at least I have no debts or outstanding loans.

 

I think it is fine as long as you can afford it, your kids are not starving, and your bills are being paid.

 

Priorities are important - simple.

 

I agree with HOLMES and PAGE OF GHOSTS that it is fine to TREAT YOURSELF - maybe one other member mentioned something along these lines as well.

 

Addiction is an issue when there is no control, balance, and damages other aspects of your life - if that is the case, support and help of a different sort is needed elsewhere.

If it is not the case - then shop away as you only have one life to live!

 

 

 

 

 

[HOLMES]

the op has been back , posted in another thread,  and hasn't posted  yet on our feedback to this issue.

I know it isn't a tarot reading where you are required to give feedback..

but perhaps this issue we should wait to see if any of our feedback has helped.

 

let us talk about tarot addiction for a moment..

on aeclectic tarot tarot ,,

there was a thread called deenabling thread where it was designed to help people avoid in a fun way to avoid buying decks.

there are degrees of addiction oh yes my family called me on mine just because I was trying to help lighten the mood noticed i wasn't making light of addiction but instead suggested moderation.

 

as a person with an active eating disorder (500 pounds or thereabouts here ) , it is hard to control for you have to eat .

here we are just talking tarot

and the thing is , it is hard for any one to control a tarot disorder (reading to much((this is hard to control as i stay up checking for forum waiting for feedback )) , buying decks, or books)

 

that i suggest there is a subform created (and i will go make a post on that ) for serious issues for tarot counselling.

as this is talking tarot so due to the talking nature,, some of us try to keep it light in our support telling the op we all been thrugh it,,it isnt't that bad.. .. and some of us,, who experienced it to a deeper harder degree want it to be more conselling aka serious  which is fine..

but because of the differning issues , points of views, life experiences,,

we need a more serious forum for that.. so we can start some sort of actual 12 tarot steps for those who need it.

 

[DownUnderNZer]

 

GRANDMA  - I did not even read your post when I posted. All I know is two others posted when I did, as a message popped up twice, so the last one I saw was Aldor44.

 

Other than that - we are all entitled to an opinion like you say.

 

HOLMES - Did AT really have a thread like that?  It kind of seems familiar, but it is not something I ever looked at when I was on there. Wow!

 

DND  X/

[Jewel]

HOLMES, that is a wonderful idea!

[Raggydoll]

I will repeat myself one more time. This thread is about a serious topic that needs to be handled with the respect that it deserves. I know that no one means any harm, but jokes and enabling talk will no longer be approved in this thread. It is intended as a safe place for people to talk about the very real and serious topic of addiction.

 

And when it comes to “all things in moderation” I will quote the professionals at Harvard:

 

“But the research shows clearly that moderation is unlikely to be successful for patients who already meet criteria for dependence, whether defined by the DSM-IV or by a variety of assessment tools”

 

Source: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/alcohol-abstinence-vs-moderation

 

 

[Jewel]

HOLMES - Did AT really have a thread like that?  It kind of seems familiar, but it is not something I ever looked at when I was on there. Wow![/size]

I am not HOLMES, but yes AT had a de-enabling thread and it was great!  Helped me not buy a few decks.  It is the type of thread that was most helpful to people who just love buying decks, so a lot lighter than the topic of real addiction, but great for the over-shopper.