Little Fang Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 If this thread is getting out of hand it will be locked. Please mind your words and how you chat with others. We are a family here! I liked the de-enabling thread very much, and would support bringing that back.
Saturn Celeste Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 If this thread is getting out of hand it will be locked. Please mind your words and how you chat with others. We are a family here! I liked the de-enabling thread very much, and would support bringing that back. I'm making it now.
Saturn Celeste Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 Thank you Saturn! (( https://www.thetarotforum.com/talking-tarot/this-is-the-de-enable-thread-concerning-buying-and-reading-of-tarot/ If you want to change anything Little Fang[/member], please do! ^-^
Page of Ghosts Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 I've thought about the de-enabling thread, it would have been nice to have it back! And I can't find anywhere I said explicitly that it's ok to treat yourself so I wonder if it was someone else? I try to be more about moderation and/or abstinence these days, but I could have been unclear somewhere. There are different degrees of addiction, and just because you aren't on the street with your tarot decks it can still be an addiction to buying decks. I feel like we're doing a disservice when it comes to any addiction really, when we only talk about the most extreme examples as "true addiction". I think tt is more helpful to widen the scope, so people can get help before it goes that far. There are people in my life I worry about because they don't think they have a problem with a type of addiction because they can pay their bills, keep a job and afford their rent, but there are some seriously worrying aspects to their... let's call it habit. I hope they're doing ok since I haven't heard much about their habit in a while and they changed their main job to something that doesn't enable it as much as the previous one, but still...
Raggydoll Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 Page of Ghosts: What I wrote was not directed at you (sorry if that is how it came across), it was a general reminder to everyone. I think it is a very good idea to talk about every stage of addiction and not just the most serious cases. Being proactive is absolutely the best thing, and if you (talking generally here) are a person that cope with doing things in moderation then that is awesome! I am only saying that I don’t think anyone should recommend moderation as a strategy for people that call themselves addicts (and I know YOU never wrote that, so this is still just general talk). Thank you for sharing your experiences and ideas with us <3
Page of Ghosts Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 Page of Ghosts: What I wrote was not directed at you (sorry if that is how it came across), it was a general reminder to everyone. I think it is a very good idea to talk about every stage of addiction and not just the most serious cases. Being proactive is absolutely the best thing, and if you (talking generally here) are a person that cope with doing things in moderation then that is awesome! I am only saying that I don’t think anyone should recommend moderation as a strategy for people that call themselves addicts (and I know YOU never wrote that, so this is still just general talk). Thank you for sharing your experiences and ideas with us <3 It's ok, I was mostly confused where DND thought I had said that came from! So that's my first part of the comment. The only thing I can find is hoping Aldor44 enjoys their new decks (and I thought they seemed to have a grasp on the danger of slipping into a deck buying frenzy, which is less cool than it sounds since I've been there), and saying I like the 1 in 1 out rule in general, which I hope came across. I also wasn't the biggest fan of people saying you could always just buy one more and that as long as you can pay your bills it's ok. Alcoholism runs in my family and the culture where I grew up in general doesn't have the healthiest relationship with alcohol so I'm proud of myself for staying away from alcohol now. Some of the rhetoric in this thread reminded me of people around me being so-called high-functioning alcoholics. The type of person who has some serious alcohol problems but they justify it to themselves and you, if you're their friend, by saying that they pay their bills and rent and have a job so it isn't "that bad" and besides they could have a "white month" (no alcohol) anytime, but they never do :( Personally I'm still trying to let go of certain decks I don't use so I don't see myself buying any more any time soon. It was just my birthday some weeks ago and I thought I should buy a tarot deck just because it was birthday season and treat-yourself-month, but I didn't! For me it's been an issue of wanting an escape and a rush, so different from the OP's issues, but still... not good imo.
DownUnderNZer Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 Page Of Ghosts - It should have been HOLMES and ALDOR44 for it being okay to treat yourself. They mentioned it. Sorry... DND X/
Page of Ghosts Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 Page Of Ghosts - It should have been HOLMES and ALDOR44 for it being okay to treat yourself. They mentioned it. Sorry... DND X/ Thanks for clearing that up, I was so confused!
Grandma Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 If this thread is getting out of hand it will be locked. Please mind your words and how you chat with others. We are a family here! I liked the de-enabling thread very much, and would support bringing that back. I apologize to Little Fang[/member] , DownUnderNZer[/member], and everyone else. My angry post was inappropriate. I have removed it.
HOLMES Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 it is ok for we are all human (( your sharing helped me understand that we needed a de enabling thread for our addictions for more serious matters. .
Little Fang Posted September 28, 2018 Posted September 28, 2018 If this thread is getting out of hand it will be locked. Please mind your words and how you chat with others. We are a family here! I liked the de-enabling thread very much, and would support bringing that back. I apologize to Little Fang[/member] , DownUnderNZer[/member], and everyone else. My angry post was inappropriate. I have removed it. It's all good! ((
DanielJUK Posted September 29, 2018 Posted September 29, 2018 Often when we are shopping, we are buying things to make us feel better because we are feeling down or bored. When we actually get the goods, the feelings of excitement of getting the deck (or other shopping) has gone. Not caring about the actual deck when you get it is a sign of addiction. When you are buying so many you never actually use them. I would definitely filter out all places that could cause you to want to buy a deck, so you just can't see them at all! You can block areas of this forum from your view by going to here. On AT you could block whole areas and never see the posts or sections in your view. It looks like here it will remain in the index but you won't see any posts from that area in the new posts/ bar the side or by searching. So it is worth ignoring the Decks area for sure and unsubscribe from any deck funding sites or brands to remove the enabling element of seeing new decks in front of you. You can get therapy and counselling in many countries for shopping addiction, it's worth seeing professional help if it has as huge effect on your life. I think it's about working out what is the cause, why do you need to shop to feel good? it might be stress or depression or so many reasons and you might need a professional to explore that with. Finally it's so sad to have all those decks and never use them! I notice when people are beginners they often have one or two decks and they use them a lot! So they learn them and study them. If you have only a slight and non serious addiction to buying decks, make sure you use and study them! Maybe make a rule that you can only have another deck when you have gone through every card of the last deck you bought and have used them in at least one reading! When you keep buying them, they just never get used :'( I have bought too many at once but now I have a personal rule that no more than 4 a year max! one every 3 months but a very strict rule to never have more than one a month for sure! I also sometimes have them as a treat, I have to do something first to get them. That works for me much better :)
Jewel Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 Often when we are shopping, we are buying things to make us feel better because we are feeling down or bored. When we actually get the goods, the feelings of excitement of getting the deck (or other shopping) has gone. Not caring about the actual deck when you get it is a sign of addiction. When you are buying so many you never actually use them. I have bought too many at once but now I have a personal rule that no more than 4 a year max! one every 3 months but a very strict rule to never have more than one a month for sure! I also sometimes have them as a treat, I have to do something first to get them. That works for me much better :) Daniel, I can so relate to your post. In the past I had that buying and not using decks problem, and it was to fill gaps in my life. And like you said as soon as it arrived all the excitement was gone, and the deck went on the shelf, and I still had the gap so it solved nothing. Since I returned to Tarot after my 3-4 year sabbatical I have only gotten decks for X-Mas or b-day, or used a part of a gift certificate and limit myself to no more than two (to get free shipping). I have only straight out purchased 1 deck in the last 13 months (after 4 years of not buying any), and that was as a reward for an unexpected Merit I got at work, otherwise I would not have gotten it. I have a large (for me) collection, most which I have not used, so over a year ago when I returned to Tarot I instilled my "Deck of the Month" project with the goal of using the decks I have for a month each as my primary deck that month, and at the end of the month writing a review. If I like the deck and would like to use it again in the future I keep it, if not it goes into my "for sale or trade" pile along with some I just have no interest in using. This has been so good for me, I am now enjoying/appreciating the decks I have, have been able to add several to my reading deck rotation for exchanges, finally got into writing deck reviews which I have always wanted to do regularly but never did, and I no longer have the constant urge to buy decks. It has really been a relief, and I am so glad to have moved beyond that "catch all" mentality I use to feel. I love trading too, it does the whole get one/remove one thing, and I too feel attached to the used deck when I get it from a forum friend. It makes me feel like I have a connection with their energy.
Saturn Celeste Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 I am locking this topic. It has been run through the gauntlet. Posts have had to be deleted, there has been moderator and admin monitoring and first and foremost we are not medical professionals. If you feel addicted to excessively purchasing tarot decks then please, seek professional help. That is the only actual advice we should be giving. We do have a de-enabling thread now and it is the thread we can openly discuss the purchasing of tarot cards. But as a reminder, if you are not able to pay bills, not able to buy food or other necessities, then please, seek professional help. For further discussion, please visit this thread: https://www.thetarotforum.com/talking-tarot/this-is-the-de-enable-thread-concerning-buying-and-reading-of-tarot/
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