Gifted a deck by my ex

[Slutcoven]

I was given a new deck by someone I recently ended things with. It’s a wonderful deck and I want to use it, but is that a bad idea? What’s is the general consensus on using gifted tarot decks when you have negative feelings toward the person who gave it? Any ideas for DEEP cleaning the deck before use?

[Saturn Celeste]

Hello slutcoven and welcome to TT&M!  You can say a type of blessing over your cards and I run my cards (each one at a time) through incense.  Then I shuffle them really good.  You could also take a large bowl they will fit into and pour a lot of salt into the bowl and just move the cards around in the salt carefully.  Sort out your feelings, you're not feeling negative about the cards, you're feeling negative about him.  But who knows after working with the deck you might find your feelings change about the situation you went through with him.  It's worth a try. ;)

[Little Fang]

Welcome to the forum!

 

I wouldn't say it was a bad idea, but only if you can separate the deck from the bad feelings.  I'd try to make new experiences and associations with the deck if possible, use it, learn it, work with it and do readings.  Give it a nice cleanse with incense, smoke, or a selenite crystal and then ask the deck for some advice on the matter.  After all is said and done and you're still feeling those feelings with the deck, it may be best to put it aside and spend time with another deck until the breakup isn't so raw in the mind.  <3

[EmpressAdora]

I usually try to cleanse my deck before I use them. I specially ones that I get second hand or as gifts. Maybe that would make you feel a little better about using it?

[ThreeCircleTarot]

I had a similar problem but with a crystal that used to be an ex's. Building new associations was key. I did a little ritual to show it that I was its new owner. I still get reminded but it's not as important anymore. If I ever feel like the thought is pressing, I make sure to remind both the crystal and myself that it's mine.

[Carus]

My advice as it seems to be for most things is the LBRP. otherwise maybe carry it around and just play with it, make it so it's not exclusivly associated with that person for you. Alternatively it could be reserved as a special deck to be used for readings about past relationships etc as it might be an asset to help you "tune in"

[Oink]

I was given a new deck by someone I recently ended things with. It’s a wonderful deck and I want to use it, but is that a bad idea? What’s is the general consensus on using gifted tarot decks when you have negative feelings toward the person who gave it? Any ideas for DEEP cleaning the deck before use?

If it’s a new deck, I personally wouldn’t think it needs cleaning so much as it needs to be made yours.

 

Thoughtful gifts are about the recipient - the deck was meant for you, so don’t feel bad making your experience with this deck all about you.  If you tend towards the sensual, appealing to your senses can be a great way to “bond”. 

 

Set the mood with some music or sounds: chanting, white noise, nature sounds, etc. can be fantastic if popular music is too distracting for the purpose.  If you find the scent(s) of essential oils or incense relaxing, you could use them while using the deck.  Maybe you find scrying relaxing, and want to use a card as a focus of meditation?  Let your conscious self go and bathe in the luxury of the colors used in the art.  Page through the cards and let your fingertips savor the surface of the cardstock - the texture that lets us keep hold, and the smoothness that helps us shuffle and keeps the cards from damaging each other.

 

Just some possible ideas!

[gregory]

I would just play with it a while before using it for readings.