Raggydoll Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 Thank you. It has been almost four years now and it’s still very raw in mind. I have shared this story before, but for the sake of truly conveying what Death has meant to me I will share it again. One day, out of the blue I suddenly had a feeling that something really bad was about to happen. I felt a dark, heavy sensation and I just knew that it was related to my dad. I didn’t know what to do, so I called my sister. She listened and believed in me. We discussed it and agreed that I should try and talk to mom and gently bring up the topic of dads health. It took me two days to get up the courage, but then I called her. I asked about how dad was doing. She said “oh, he’s fine - in fact, we are about to go out for a walk now”. We talked some more and she also mentioned that my dad had his yearly doctors appointment the next week. I also heard my dad talking in the background and he seemed so normal and happy that I just decided to let the whole thing go, at least for a while. Maybe I had been wrong after all (this was not the first time I sensed tragedy before it hit, though). Well, as you can guess, things did not go so well. I got a phone call later that day and my sister told me that dad had suffered a massive heart attack. They were going to try and perform surgery so I had no opportunity to talk to him on the phone (we lived 3 hours from each other). I told my sister to tell him that I loved him. She did. And he died a couple of minutes later, before they had a chance to operate. And I have struggled so badly to accept everything that happened. It ripped a hole inside of me and it made me feel like this intuitive side of me is completely worthless. And for the longest time afterwards I would have Death present in every tarot reading that I did. It is fairly recently that it stopped. (I had to do go to therapy for post traumatic stress symptoms related to his death, and that therapy did a lot of good in this respect. It made the grieving process feel more organic and bearable). Raggydoll, thank you for sharing your experience. I also had something very similar with my father - same sense of foreboding and that something was very wrong. My father also seemed to be in very robust health so I tried to ignore it. Next day I got a phone call to say he’d been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Death often comes up in my readings to refer to actual physical deaths in the past. I’m very mindful that it doesn’t just mean ‘transformation’ in a psychological sense. Illness and death were much more common occurrences for our ancestors. Just thinking about how vaccinations and antibiotics have helped with what were once very common and serious diseases. Infant mortality is also much lower now. My grandparents all had at least one sibling who didn’t make it to adulthood. <3 Death rarely means transformation for me either. It is usually referring to something that has played out it’s role and now must come to an end. And it’s generally not a pleasant feel, but it can bring a sense of relief or closure with time (though that is not always the case. Sometimes it’s just about holding space for the dark, seemingly pointless and unfair aspects of human existence).
Cookie Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 Yes, that's very interesting that Death card comes up post-trauma. That would really make sense...The husk or shadow of death etc...lingers. Never thought of this before, but of course because of the grieving process etc As i'm writing this Back to Black by Amy Winehouse came up on youtube playlist where she's burying her heart in a graveyard. i've never watched the video before but the film noir, the lyrics and atmosphere are so perfect to describe the Death card. She must of tuned in somewhere ... Collective Consciousness and the like.
Raggydoll Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 Yes, that's very interesting that Death card comes up post-trauma. That would really make sense...The husk or shadow of death etc...lingers. Never thought of this before, but of course because of the grieving process etc As i'm writing this Back to Black by Amy Winehouse came up on youtube playlist where she's burying her heart in a graveyard. i've never watched the video before but the film noir, the lyrics and atmosphere are so perfect to describe the Death card. She must of tuned in somewhere ... Collective Consciousness and the like. Yes it lingers. Death casts a long shadow, no doubt. And the collective unconscious is a very powerful thing indeed. We all need each other to try and make sense of it because we are all reflecting individual and different angles of it.
Cookie Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 Yes, that's very interesting that Death card comes up post-trauma. That would really make sense...The husk or shadow of death etc...lingers. Never thought of this before, but of course because of the grieving process etc As i'm writing this Back to Black by Amy Winehouse came up on youtube playlist where she's burying her heart in a graveyard. i've never watched the video before but the film noir, the lyrics and atmosphere are so perfect to describe the Death card. She must of tuned in somewhere ... Collective Consciousness and the like. Yes it lingers. Death casts a long shadow, no doubt. And the collective unconscious is a very powerful thing indeed. We all need each other to try and make sense of it because we are all reflecting individual and different angles of it. Like a raging sea. No Doubt!
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