WHAT you tell your first time Querents....

[GreatDane]

FIRST, this is not a Bash-the-Querent thread. Not about questions or querents we don't want, but WHAT do you tell, or WISH to tell, first time querents to help them get the most from their reading?

 

When you have someone who has not just been to YOU before, but maybe never had a reading?

 

I like to tell them how I read, what I read on, and what they can expect from my reading. 

 

I encourage them to ask questions BEFORE a reading if they are unsure about the process.

 

That's just me thought, my preference to help me and the querent. 

 

What works for you?

[Saturn Celeste]

GD are you talking about face to face querents?  Does this apply to online querents also?

[DownUnderNZer]

 

 

Good one Great Dane!

 

I sometimes (when the mood takes me) will single out strangers now and then and I really love it when they have never been read before. Only once, last year, was I actually turned down as the girl had nothing to ask. Never been read, but she had no questions whatsoever.  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

Usually, I will fill them in a bit, like inform them that it is not Tarot and most questions can be answered. Make sure open-ended questions are asked. That kind of thing. Nothing is set in stone will come up through it as well so that the querent is clear that no reading is 100% accurate and there is always an element, or chance, of changeability.

 

I do try to be tactful and especially if some things come up that might be a tad revealing or in one's face. With one girl last year - it was obvious her partner was abusive and had a drug/alcohol addiction and I skirted around that at first then lead up to it point blank. She was completely honest about it being the situation, but was also very conflicted as she loved him. She wanted me to tell her if there was a future with him and all I could tell her was that at the end of the day - deep down she already knew the answer. It still came down to her and him and the decision was hers to make.

 

So, I do also put the ball back in their court so as to speak, where s/he needs to work it out and/or decide for her/himself what should be done if anything needs to be done.

 

All depends on the type of reading though I suppose as well.

 

 

DND X/

[GreatDane]

THANKS DND!  And SATURN CELESTE...Good question.  Either, I suppose.  I was thinking of in person, as that is preference to do, but it would apply to any reading.

[Wanderer]

Nice question! I'm assuming in person, here.

 

I've not had a lot of experience with new sitters, but I try to get across first of all that the reading doesn't foretell what will happen to them. It provides an indication of where the current situation may lead, but is mainly about clarifying the situation and the choices in front of them, and also about understanding themselves. (I'm no longer convinced that the future is actually inaccessible to the cards, but this way they start off in the right frame of mind, rather than just wanting a quick answer!  ;))

 

Anything else probably depends on the sitter and what they're interested in, so I might explain a bit about the mythology behind the deck, or a bit about the history of Tarot, for example; anything that gets them into a more receptive frame of mind. Also, if they're nervous, I might tell them that the meanings of the cards are often quite subtle, and Death doesn't actually mean death! Usually.  :biggrin:

 

One more thing: I tell them (if it looks like it will be necessary) that the process of drawing the cards needs a quiet and sober atmosphere; no laughing or joking around, if they want anything useful to come out of it! I just find that a party atmosphere kind-of ruins it... :shhh:

[Thoughtful]

When l have a person coming for a reading l ask if they would like a glass of water, tell them to just relax and make themselves comfortable. 

 

l always have a big box of tissue handy, as there are the inevitable tears from some people.

 

Then l always ask if they have had a reading in the past.  That way l know whether they had a good experience or not. 

 

l ask ' do you have a question/s'  if they are unsure about this l tell them that l will do a general reading then, as that will cover most aspects.  There are always question though whether they want to state them or not,  some people want to see what happens,  to see if their wants and needs show up in the reading.  So l tell them that should there be a question that has not been covered  we can discuss that afterwards.  Never had to do this though, as the general reading does the trick.

Diplomacy, care and empathy will always produce a good atmosphere for the sitter, and that can lead to a fulfilling reading.

[GreatDane]

I really enjoy reading all your posts about what each of you likes to do with a first time querent (either first time with you or first time ever).

 

I think so many really have no clue about what to expect if they are new to readings.

 

Television and movies doesn't really prepare them :)

[Grizabella]

I don't start off with a list of what I won't read on. I like to keep everything positive as much as possible. If their question involves the things I don't read on (is my spouse cheating, is the person gay)

then I can just tactfully just tell them if it comes up.

 

I really like in-person readings, too. That's my preference but I do most readings for people online because I live in a very rural area where there aren't lots of people.

 

For an in-person first time sitter, I just chat a little bit with them at first to relax them. If they've never had a reading before, they often have no idea what to ask so I help them to formulate a question or at least an area of interest. I tell them that I don't judge people and I don't discuss the reading with anyone else. Also that any information I give them is totally from the cards and not my own judgment. Everything is confidential, too.

 

Online, it's sometimes hard to tell if someone has had a reading before or anything about them as people. There aren't any visual clues that are there in face-to-face readings. I can't do video chat. It's really easy to be a chamelion online and not be found out. However, I guess it's their own loss if their reading isn't very helpful as a result. I trust Tarot to give good readings but it really helps if the person is honest with me and themselves.

 

 

 

 

[Guest libra]

My first thing is to let them know, especially if they read tarot themselves, that I stray from a "traditional" meaning of the cards regularly.  I feel that my cards are sentient in their own way and that they'll show me what I need to see to deliver the message, and my understanding of the cards may not align with any known "meaning" prescribed to the deck.

 

On that note, when it comes to some of the "scarier" cards - I like to remind the querent that the cards speak in metaphors and are not literal (except for that one time I walked out of a car accident that should have killed me and pulled "rebirth", there's an exception to every rule!)

 

When it comes to a question - I can just pull cards blind, but then inevitably, some of the cards will be showing up just to get me up to speed on the situation at hand and may simply come across as "rehashing" for the querent.  As well, doing it that way means that the cards will be bringing light to what the deck feels they need to know, and the reading may not address what they want to know about!  A bit of direction before the reading means I can focus on what they want insight on and that the cards will be less about getting me the backstory and more geared towards giving them the information that they need to move forward. 

 

That's really about it!

[sandrang123]

I don't pooh-pooh a lot, to be honest. I look at any sitter as someone who is interested in Tarot, and I like that, personally. If you're invested, I am, too. When I read for sitters, it's very important for me to tell them what the traditional meanings of cards are and how I see them aligning or deviating from that and why. I'm a teacher in a good chunk of my life, and I think that comes out during readings, face-to-face. I encourage questions, not because I need them, but because I want to help answer them. In my experience, people want to know about cards. They are curious, and that is awesome. Here I am not like the High Priestess. I don't have something hidden behind my back that I won't share. :) <3

 

The other thing--really, really important for me--is there is NO judgment on my end, literally ever. I can't think of a time I read for anyone when I didn't come away loving (or at the very least, understanding) them more, with no judgment of whatever issues come forward. Tarot and other forms of divination open up compassion. I truly do believe that.

[Eric13]

I don't do online readings yet myself.

But I tell them I'm not the best shuffler and if I drop a card, I pick it up and place it back in the deck. I tell them I don't read reverse cards and I make clear that I am detailed. I explain why I use a TdM deck, and now I'm going to be explaining that I only use the Major Arcana's, and why. I then ask them to cut the deck into only two more piles pointing to where I want the two piles they make go. I say that in a fun way.

[Grizabella]

My experience has been that my client/sitters aren't there for an education on Tarot. They just want answers from the reading about whatever they've come to me with. Sometimes, of course, there will be people who chat awhile about cards in general and how the answers come to the reader, but usually they're people who, although they might have had readings before, don't read cards themselves and just want answers from the cards through me.

 

 

[sandrang123]

My sitters (in face) are currently around here, and again by word-of-mouth, so they generally have questions. It can vary though, I agree.