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Nordica De Spell
Posted

Dear @Little Fang,

I didn’t know where to put this. 

 

I want to mention that due to HOW you and the moderator’s have chosen to go out with information about what has happened in regards to Night Shade, I feel very unsafe and distressed now.

 

Specifically, you seem to have mentioned multiple IP’s and her personal belief system (satanist,) as relevant fact to her being banned. 

 

But in my region of the world; differing IP’s is a normal and common thing; it’s due to the internet provider, router, or external service of protection used. And I’d for sure think that all individual, public computers here use that system. So, you can see, to me that’s like ?? that you mention that. 

 

About her personal belief system differing from yours, being relevant to her being banned... That’s not a message of safety to me, and I as a member here, would need that statement clarified??

 

Please don’t get me wrong, because I don’t think that that must have been the real reasons. I just think that that’s HOW you’ve chosen to talk about it.

 

And if I’m saying it, there must be others feeling it, and maybe putting the lid on this, isn’t the best approach...

 

It’s going to be, at least in my case, a mixture of sad, confused, fearful thoughts... because of course, I haven’t gotten any such pm’s and don’t know about what has transpired in the dark here...

 

And I know I’m not alone to feel, that with Night Shade of all people, this is difficult to process as it is, and not getting to understand anything about what has happened, and being isolated by you in these thoughts... 

 

It’s confusing to me what has happened, and it’s not just the ground under your feet removed, it’s like that for ALL of us — and at least you know what’s going on.

 

There’s so much pain in my stomach and I haven’t been able to sleep all night. 

 

I just think about her, and how I’ll miss her presence here, because she was KIND, and nearly always got the same results on the quizzes, to the point that I couldn’t post mine, because it would have been weird to just mimic hers all the time. And not a single malevolent gif, and her good wishes to me as the last thing I heard.

 

She’s a person that I’ve included in my heart right away.

 

You’re just saying, forget about her. One day we’re family, and the next day there’s a nothing.

 

And I’d have rather given up the PM function, for her if she can’t refrain from using it against forum rules. 

 

Nature may need the tears, but why do I have to carry this alone and not get to talk about it? And what’s the secrecy about? 

 

(Isn’t secrecy what brought this upon us?)

 

If this is difficult for you as well; can’t we all just process it together; and why can’t Night Shade too, be part of that? If the cat’s out of the bag anyway, 

 

This is so heavy today; I can’t even begin to imagine how it must be for you whom has been by her side for a long time.

 

(And maybe, for her.)

 

Can’t we have a thread (maybe in the guest section then, for an optimal two-way input?) where we get to talk about this forum trauma, and how it’s affecting us as individuals, and as a group?

 

Because, not only this, but how can we restore the trust in eachother now; when a moderator of all people has secretly attacked forum members? 

 

You’re saying that this has happened, and I don’t know about what to do with any of that. 😰 😰

Posted (edited)

I'm sorry you feel that way - but this kind of thing happened a couple of times on AT as well. Mods DO know how to check this stuff; it isn't something they do for fun - and it wasn't just PMs; I had reported a couple of her posts myself - not aimed at me, I hasten to add.

 

She managed to get to be a mod - so what ? Clever people can do that.

 

This has happened; I have no doubt at all that it was justified (sorry to say this, but I believe I had already met her elsewhere, with similar things attached, including the ban).  I am really sorry that you are having trouble processing it, but there are often things in life that are tough to process, and people we thought we could trust who turn out to be not at all what we had thought. When people plan to act this way, they set things up to look nice, to make "friends" who they can later turn on, to set people against each other. Sad but true. And you don't have to "carry it alone" - there are many people here who are sad about it.

 

If you need to talk about this somewhere - talk to someone by PM. I really don't think it helps a forum, when mods have had to take a tough decision, for people to ask to rehash it in public. It's done; it had to be done.

Edited by gregory
Nordica De Spell
Posted

(I don’t know why two columns got bigger in my post, it wasn’t on purpose.)

 

Maybe also; to add that I respect you immensely as site owner, and the forum moderators whom work so hard for all of us — it must be VERY DIFFICULT for you all to deal with this; and I want to clarify that my post is about what I wrote, not about critique or etc., (if anyone should think that or read it like that.)

fire cat pickles
Posted
1 minute ago, gregory said:

This has happened; I have no doubt at all that it was justified (sorry to say this, but I believe I had already met her elsewhere, with similar things attached, including the ban).  I am really sorry that you are having trouble processing it, but there are often things in life that are tough to process, and people we thought we could trust who turn out to be not at all what we had thought. 

As a moderator from another forum, I have to second this. We suspected a while back that this person was not who she said she was. There were warning signs. We must stand behind the moderators to know they did the right thing. 

 

There was detective work that had gone on behind the scenes, rest assured, work that began months ago; and it was a collaborative effort, at that.

Posted

May I respectfully suggest that if bans have to happen again, they are announced in a LOCKED "banned" thread - as we had at AT and is also the case on carto - with simply the name of the member and a VERY BRIEF statement of the reason. I think part of the problem here is the announcement, in a thread, with some degree of detail given - possibly too much, and the thread being left open for discussion. I think we have learned from this that discussion of a ban can be toxic to a forum.

Saturn Celeste
Posted
Just now, Nordica De Spell said:

I want to mention that due to HOW you and the moderator’s have chosen to go out with information about what has happened in regards to Night Shade, I feel very unsafe and distressed now.

 

Specifically, you seem to have mentioned multiple IP’s and her personal belief system (satanist,) as relevant fact to her being banned.

I apologize that you don't feel safe and you feel distressed now.  I felt at the time it was necessary to get the information out to the members.  We didn't know all we know now about the situation with her.  We dismissed her and she came back as a different member and that's when she began PMing the staff.  We weren't sure how many PMs she sent in that time and I wanted to make sure that if any members received PMs regarding satan from an unknown source to please let us know immediately.  At that time in the back end, Little Fang was going through the IPs and banning them all. 

Just now, Nordica De Spell said:

But in my region of the world; differing IP’s is a normal and common thing; it’s due to the internet provider, router, or external service of protection used. And I’d for sure think that all individual, public computers here use that system. So, you can see, to me that’s like ?? that you mention that. 

We deal with multiple IPs all the time, we are aware of how they work.  It just took a little time to do the research and bans.  Again, this was happening very, very fast at that time and we needed to get the word out quickly.

 

Just now, Nordica De Spell said:

About her personal belief system differing from yours, being relevant to her being banned... That’s not a message of safety to me, and I as a member here, would need that statement clarified??

She was not being banned for being a satanist.  She was banned for Pms with the subject of satan.  She was abusing the PM system that is why she was banned.  I had to give reference to satan in case members received PMs from an unknown member that dealt with satan.  It had nothing to do with satanism, it was a reference.

 

Just now, Nordica De Spell said:

I just think that that’s HOW you’ve chosen to talk about it.

I chose to get the word out quickly and efficiently.  There is no whitewashing her actions. 

 

Just now, Nordica De Spell said:

there must be others feeling it, and maybe putting the lid on this, isn’t the best approach...

This was a horrible situation.  The staff is still reeling with sadness too.  Please remember we worked side by side with her and cared deeply for her.  But I'm not going to drag her through the mud exposing all of her actions in order to rectify my own actions.  As an admin, I took the best actions I could think of at the time. 

Saturn Celeste
Posted

Thank you Gregory and FireCat for your assist.  We will consider your suggestion, Gregory.  If anyone wants to talk to me, feel free to PM me.  I'll be around today but our decision to stand by our actions won't change.

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