Establishing better boundaries

[CalmChaos]

I've read that if you maintain poor boundaries in your personal life, you will be considered weak and an easy target in "the spiritual realm."  If this is in fact true, how does one develop stronger boundaries spiritually? 

 

I understand that one first has to be able to say "no" and be a lot more assertive in the earthly dimension. But does that mean the same applies if you feel a presence trying to invade your personal space?  Does simply saying "No!" and "This is not my energy, and these are not my thoughts" sufficient? Or is there more we need to do in order to protect ourselves from "astral bullies?"

[ReineDeDeniers]

That's an interesting topic, by the way!

 

Hope you don't mind it if I chime in here too.

 

I think that we attract what we put out into the universe. I do believe that there's a part of the truth in your statement. Sometimes we do tend to make ourselves vulnerable people out of the fear of saying no or what the other people may think of us and that's how we let them affect our energy. But first you need to identify what are your personal boundaries and when too much is "too much" for you.

 

And I think that it's possible to establish the stronger boundaries for anyone. Meditation sure helps out a lot, I heard that orange and red colors (wearing them or eating anything that is red and orange) helps out a lot.  Purple is also a color of spiritual awakening, and the color of spirituality, and it enchances us in many ways. You also need to even convince yourself that you're strong enough (and not so easy to be persuaded away) when you stand on your own feet in front of the other. Because sometimes we can be very hesitating about our response to the other person's actions or words. We don't believe in ourselves at all and I think that we need to be the ones to reassure us (and believe in our inner will and strength), and sometimes we silence ourselves in a way "Maybe I shouldn't say this because I'm scared they will think of me/they will do something/they won't like it" or push any negative feelings associated with the other because maybe that's now hot is (and some other excuses that we find to defend them). 

 

Also, don't self guilt trip yourself over the past - as in what you could have done instead but you didn't do, if someone's angry at you for what felt that's right for you (and actually putting yourself in the first place), for being unable to change certain things, and also don't let others to guilt you and make you feel bad about something.

 

It's also much healthier to cut off a relationship with the astral bullies (as you called them) or energetic vampires if you feel like they're absorbing your entire energy and/or there's nothing right. Sometimes it's better not to have any kind of a relationship with them than to have any that's exhausting. Sometimes your energy can be very weakened by their presence as well. You need to surround yourself with the other people, the ones that are healthy for you. Because when our energy is affected our aura and body and spirit and mind are too.  Our everything is.

[CalmChaos]

That's an interesting topic, by the way!

 

Hope you don't mind it if I chime in here too.

 

I think that we attract what we put out into the universe. I do believe that there's a part of the truth in your statement. Sometimes we do tend to make ourselves vulnerable people out of the fear of saying no or what the other people may think of us and that's how we let them affect our energy. But first you need to identify what are your personal boundaries and when too much is "too much" for you.

 

And I think that it's possible to establish the stronger boundaries for anyone. Meditation sure helps out a lot, I heard that orange and red colors (wearing them or eating anything that is red and orange) helps out a lot.  Purple is also a color of spiritual awakening, and the color of spirituality, and it enchances us in many ways. You also need to even convince yourself that you're strong enough (and not so easy to be persuaded away) when you stand on your own feet in front of the other. Because sometimes we can be very hesitating about our response to the other person's actions or words. We don't believe in ourselves at all and I think that we need to be the ones to reassure us (and believe in our inner will and strength), and sometimes we silence ourselves in a way "Maybe I shouldn't say this because I'm scared they will think of me/they will do something/they won't like it" or push any negative feelings associated with the other because maybe that's now hot is (and some other excuses that we find to defend them). 

 

Also, don't self guilt trip yourself over the past - as in what you could have done instead but you didn't do, if someone's angry at you for what felt that's right for you (and actually putting yourself in the first place), for being unable to change certain things, and also don't let others to guilt you and make you feel bad about something.

 

It's also much healthier to cut off a relationship with the astral bullies (as you called them) or energetic vampires if you feel like they're absorbing your entire energy and/or there's nothing right. Sometimes it's better not to have any kind of a relationship with them than to have any that's exhausting. Sometimes your energy can be very weakened by their presence as well. You need to surround yourself with the other people, the ones that are healthy for you. Because when our energy is affected our aura and body and spirit and mind are too.  Our everything is.

 

Awesome. Thank you for the support and tips. I guess it's just hard to know who to trust at times, which goes back to trusting your intuition and not allowing others to gaslight you.

 

I wonder if there are any effective exercises to do which will help reinforce the points you brought up.

[CalmChaos]

If someone tells you that you're "full of magic" in a very creepy and threatening way, what does that mean? Does it mean they can take your prana energy from you? I do wonder at times if there are people who are capable of stealing your energy to further their own magic. Do you think this is even possible? If so, how do you protect yourself?

 

ETA: I really should have just put this under the "boundaries" thread. I tried to delete the post and move it there but I couldn't. Sorry, admin/mods!

[Tanga]

If someone tells you that you're "full of magic" in a very creepy and threatening way, what does that mean? Does it mean they can take your prana energy from you? I do wonder at times if there are people who are capable of stealing your energy to further their own magic. Do you think this is even possible? If so, how do you protect yourself?

 

ETA: I really should have just put this under the "boundaries" thread. I tried to delete the post and move it there but I couldn't. Sorry, admin/mods!

 

I would stare back at them, raise a SPOK eyebrow and say - "well then you'd better watch out hadn't you??"

...whilst I fingered the pentacle that hangs around my neck.

  :o

Honestly?  Sounds like they're deliberately attempting to intimidate you.

WHY?  (What's the whole story behind who this person is and how they know you?).

[Tanga]

I've read that if you maintain poor boundaries in your personal life, you will be considered weak and an easy target in "the spiritual realm."  If this is in fact true, how does one develop stronger boundaries spiritually? 

 

I understand that one first has to be able to say "no" and be a lot more assertive in the earthly dimension. But does that mean the same applies if you feel a presence trying to invade your personal space?  Does simply saying "No!" and "This is not my energy, and these are not my thoughts" sufficient? Or is there more we need to do in order to protect ourselves from "astral bullies?"

 

If you have poor "real time" boundaries - it automatically follows that you'll have poor "spiritual" boundaries. IMO - they are one and the same thing as it's an extension of your WILL and who you are in your operating world (real or spiritual). Clear boundaries is something that comes with self knowledge 'know thyself' and the understanding that you have the right to have your personal space - be yours alone.  :) :) :)

Often - fear of rejection muddies these waters. You must cultivate compassion for yourself and accept that you can't please everybody.

 

As ReineDeDeniers says - Let go of your past "could haves" - they just drag you down. Cut off from astral bullies if you can't handle them and move on to find better, more supportive people in your life.

Meditate and do other rituals (like wearing colour, saying affirmations, making and wearing Tarot talismans or inventing a protective Sigil for yourself, doing protective rituals...etc.) that help.

You are who you are!!! (re: my Signature) - you must allow yourself to be so - AND stand up

so that other's clearly understand you will not bend to who they would like you to be instead.

If you don't know exactly who you are (which is mostly what a lot of us spend our life finding out as we grow) find out.  :)

Take a personal development course or workshop. Read personal development books.

If you have severe confidence and other anxiety issues - find a councillor or appropriate practitioner who can help you. (I have done all these things btw.)

 

The only thing you can really control at the end of the day - is yourself.

 

Find the pride in you as a unique individual.  :)  8)

[Trogon]

You can always backhand them off their feet and say "I'm full of piss and vinegar too - leave me alone!" ... well, I guess the physical violence part may not be very acceptable. But I'm known for not taking crap like that. I think Tanga's right, they're just f ... messing with you for some reason. But, a protective spell might be in order, directed at protecting yourself from them.

[NerdyShelties]

ETA: I really should have just put this under the "boundaries" thread. I tried to delete the post and move it there but I couldn't. Sorry, admin/mods!

 

I moved the post for you CalmChaos, and no problem! It's good practice while I learn the forum software. :)

[Tulirose]

I agree with ReineDeDiners, this is an interesting topic, and a multi-faceted one. 'Magical Self Defense' can mean different things to different people. A Pagan will use certain ritual tools, a Catholic particular prayers, I think a Buddhist uses meditation, breathing and visualization of that 'protective bubble' that the Buddha is depicted as having around him, which to me is the same as the 'halo' of light that divinities of all shapes and sizes have around them in different belief systems I have probably never even heard of.

 

I have read that the way that a victim gets harmed in voodoo is because the the victim believes that a person has 'power' over them.

 

CalmChaos, I am wondering if you really mean that you felt you were in danger of becoming a target in the spiritual realm because of a remark, like the person telling you that you'r "full of magic", when you were actually having a 'gut', or biological, reaction to the "creepy and threatening" way that person said that.

When people speak in a threatening way I tend to take it as a threat, but if they are just trying to rattle me the first thing I do is run through a mental list of what harm they are able to do to me personally here on this earth, but not necessarily in the 'spiritual realm'. I am a little confused about why you think a creepy and threatening individual could harm you spiritually?

I am wondering if you talked about some of your interests in Occult type subjects to this person, and they twisted the word 'magic' around and it scared you when the word was thrown back at you.

 

Of COURSE you are "full of magic", we ALL are; energy is flowing in us, through us, and all around us all the time. That person who said that to you has just as much 'magic' (energy) in them as you do, it seems to me that it is important to figure out whether or not this energy is intentionally targeted at a 'spiritual' level-that could spiral into a whole different discussion, like 'Black' vs 'White' magic-a discussion that I prefer not to get into because I decided for myself a long time ago that I want to stay in the 'light' and have nothing to do with the 'Dark Side'.

 

I don't know whether or not saying "no" and being assertive on the 'earthly realm' as you put it, can or does help in the so called 'spiritual realm'. The reason I say this is because the depictions of the light around Buddha and the Saints IS an envelope of protection. This envelope of protection is not going to get any denser or stronger because the Saint or Buddha speaks the word, "no". The protection is there, and assaults on their 'light bubble' is just simply NOT going to get through to the protected being, whether they speak or chose to remain silent.

 

ReineDeDineres said it very well, "it's...much healthier to cut off a relationship...if you feel like they're absorbing your entire energy and/or there's nothing right. Sometimes it's better not to have any kind of a relationship...than to have any that's exhausting. Sometimes your energy can be very weakened by their presence...You need to surround yourself with the other people, the ones that are healthy for you. Because when our energy is affected our aura and body and spirit and mind are too.  Our everything is".

 

I think that working on yourself in some of the ways that Tanga suggested and will strengthen that "bubble of light" around the core of your own 'inner self' will give you protection in the spiritual, as well as earthly realm. If you know that something is not right for you-you have to handle it in the way that is best for your own protection, but sometimes you have to be aware of what your options are and THINK about which response will have the effect you desire (that 'Will' stuff in action ;))

 

I think that the solution that Trogon suggested (the backhand to the floor :-X!)is a weapon in the male arsenal that men learn early to 'feel' might be used, and therefore, IMHO guys get used to detecting and deflecting (earthly) 'threats' a lot sooner than we women do!

 

 

[isawhale]

Late post, but to those who need help...Protect others...set an intention to protect and nurture others and you will learn unconciously firsthand how to protect and nurture yourself. Getting involved in volunteer work or for a cause you strongly believe in works wonders, trust. It will help build confidence as well which goes hand in hand with strong boundaries. If you see an opportunity to protect a person or animal in need, take it! Trust, it works wonders. Did for me. XD Realize also that you can only help others if you yourself have learned to help others, otherwise it breeds toxic relationship so it is much easier to enforce boundaries once you logically understand this, that to give the most joy to others you must have a surplus of joy. People will often treat us how we treat ourselves...that sort of thing..