What kind of questions do you avoid?

[EmpyreanKnight]

Personally, I decline reading requests on health issues. Being a bit of a fitness nut, I know how important competent medical care is for our physical well-being. If someone asks if the growing tumor on their back is a legit medical concern or if they should just ignore it, I would say "get thee to thy good doctor now!"

 

To be fair tho, I don't hesitate to read myself on my own health issues, but that's because I believe that ultimately we are all responsible for our personal health. While I'm pretty confident about my readings, there still exists the chance that I might misinterpret what the cards were saying. I don't want to give a reading that might make someone sicker or worse.

 

Also, I believe that in some places, there are laws that prohibit someone from giving compensated medical advice without the proper credentials.

 

Aside from that, I'm not confident enough to deal with timing questions since I don't have much experience with them, and I think that I still have much to learn about it. I do know that I'll eventually be competent at it, but right now, if I can I'll avoid them.

 

Other than those, I'm open to most questions.

[EmpyreanKnight]

By the way, of course I also avoid inherently malicious questions. Like if someone asks me what would be the best way to murder his/her spouse that would prove to be the least traceable. Or which consigliere should a certain gang boss choose since he wants to expand his business holdings. I mean whut?!? That would make me an accessory to the crime, I think?

[Onaorkal]

Mmh let's see...the kind of questions I would refuse to answer are :

 

1- Anything related to stuff that goes against my own values. Like as you said, anything criminal or morally wrong.

2- Third party readings. Sometimes my fiancee would like to ask ''What is that co-worker thinking about me?'' and I'm like ''Let's try to rephrase this.'' haha. For sure I wouldn't do readings on topics like ''Does this person think about me right now???'', ''Is this person sexually attracted towards me??'' or even ''Is my boyfriend cheating on me??''

3- Anything health-related (including mental health) that would have a risk of compromising that person's well-being. Some health readings can be considered benign imo, but for anything that would need the doctor's diagnosis, I wouldn't use the cards. (Even though I have to admit that I don't really trust doctors anyway. I mean the level of incompetence can be quite bad sometimes.)

[chongjasmine]

I avoid health and third party questions.

I also avoid questions on religion.

[Esk]

I hate reading about timing because I've never found a method that works well.

I also dislike reading about deceased ones. It makes me uncomfortable to speak in their name. And I admit I'm afraid of spirits and don't really like the idea of communicating with them in a way or another.

Sometimes I also avoid third party readings when it looks too much like spying. For example, "what's going on between my brother and his girls he's seeing" things like that.

I think no one has ever asked me health questions yet, but I think I'll decline that too.

[EmpyreanKnight]

I also dislike reading about deceased ones. It makes me uncomfortable to speak in their name. And I admit I'm afraid of spirits and don't really like the idea of communicating with them in a way or another.

 

Oh I forgot about this. Yup, I'll never answer too. It veers too uncomfortably close to necromancy. Nothing against that tho, I know some who can practice it without batting an eyelash, but it's not my cup of tea.

 

I mean, I will entertain questions about the things, thoughts, actions, etc the deceased had when he/she was still alive, but I definitely won't be answering queries about what she's feeling right now, if he's in heaven or hell and how it's like in there, what message she wants to relay to the querent, etc. :o

[Onaorkal]

I avoid health and third party questions.

I also avoid questions on religion.

 

What would be an example of a question on religion? Do you mean anything related to the spirituality of the person or something else?

 

I also dislike reading about deceased ones. It makes me uncomfortable to speak in their name. And I admit I'm afraid of spirits and don't really like the idea of communicating with them in a way or another.

 

Oh I forgot about this. Yup, I'll never answer too. It veers too uncomfortably close to necromancy. Nothing against that tho, I know some who can practice it without batting an eyelash, but it's not my cup of tea.

 

I mean, I will entertain questions about the things, thoughts, actions, etc the deceased had when he/she was still alive, but I definitely won't be answering queries about what she's feeling right now, if he's in heaven or hell and how it's like in there, what message she wants to relay to the querent, etc. :o

 

It never happened to me yet, and even though I don't even want to be in the same room as a ouija board, I think I might do this. But to be honest, I don't have much 'mediumship' talents so I don't know if it might work as well in that case.

[Lantana]

Health is the big one, I won't read about that for others or myself. Mental health though, probably accounts for 80% of my readings.

Third party readings are in the gray for me. I'm not going to toss out every question or spread postion that involves another person, but there are times it goes too far.

 

[isawhale]

I do alot of third party readings; I am empathic so I feel it is something I'm meant to do. Looking back I'd rather people have known my true feelings on everything than not..I'm a bit confused why this is considered ethically unjust to some people; as I'm not asking the deepest darkest secret, the tarot will refuse questions to the querent for me if it's not meant to be known. I avoid questions like "how do i make this person love me" and will instead tell them to love themselves and work on themselves for the sake of themselves. I often do not like to read for certain future questions as the future is not always set in stone and will change depending on the path taken so I prefer advice for those and likely outcomes.

[Little Fang]

While sometimes I don't get the chance to really avoid it, I really dislike questions could be answered should the querent go and talk to the person involved.

 

I avoid health questions that are very final in nature.  Am I pregnant?  Is J gonna die?  Does mom have cancer?  With those, it still touches on the above. Talk to a doctor.

 

I will not predict legal proceedings.  I will also not read on morally questionable issues.

 

I will not read third party unless it involves you in some major fashion.  How was J's day?  Is he getting fired?  Is he thinking about me?  That last one, I might do, but the rest... it's none of your business.  Talk to him.

 

Sorry, I get into a bit of a rant.

[Onaorkal]

While sometimes I don't get the chance to really avoid it, I really dislike questions could be answered should the querent go and talk to the person involved.

 

I avoid health questions that are very final in nature.  Am I pregnant?  Is J gonna die?  Does mom have cancer?  With those, it still touches on the above. Talk to a doctor.

 

I will not predict legal proceedings.  I will also not read on morally questionable issues.

 

I will not read third party unless it involves you in some major fashion.  How was J's day?  Is he getting fired?  Is he thinking about me?  That last one, I might do, but the rest... it's none of your business.  Talk to him.

 

Sorry, I get into a bit of a rant.

 

That's exactly how I see it too Little Fang! For me, answering third party questions is a bit like if you went to the third party's best friend and forced them to answer some stuff. Sometimes it's not technically so 'private', but, we can only decide for ourselves what we divulge to others about our thoughts. If you truly believe in what you tell the person while reading tarot, I totally believe it is some kind of invasion of privacy.

 

Health is the big one, I won't read about that for others or myself. Mental health though, probably accounts for 80% of my readings.

Third party readings are in the gray for me. I'm not going to toss out every question or spread postion that involves another person, but there are times it goes too far.

 

What do you mean by mental health? I mean, a lot of questions are 'mind-related', but I wouldn't consider them 'mental health-related'.

Would you diagnose something like depression or anxiety? That wouldn't be good.

But if you act as a support for people dealing with some kind of mental health problem or disorder, I think it CAN be fine, even though without proper knowledge/training it can do more damage than help.

But here I'm talking about diagnosed problems, not typical 'mind-related' stuff we all deal with in our everyday lives (hearbreaks, job loss, lack of motivation, etc)

[sandrang123]

I don't really like to do what I call "make or break" readings, in that the reading is THE final answer to some issue. So, for example, I've read quite a few people where issues of fidelity were at play, but I stopped a reading where there was an issue of fidelity (this was a reading for a co-worker). First, it came to me in a super obvious way (female self card, male partner in environment, crossed by another female). I didn't know she was asking about infidelity/divorce going into it (I don't usually ask people to tell me what they want to know about, unless reading remotely where information is actually helpful), but I did as soon as I laid three cards down. I remember saying, "You know what? Maybe this isn't the best day to read." Her response was, "I think my husband is cheating on me, and I want to find out so that I can decide whether to end the marriage." OR something to that effect (quite a few years ago, going from memory). So things like that automatically give me great pause.

 

In a lot of ways, health issues are like this, too, though in my experience if someone is actually dying it's usually something the family knows about and is energetically preparing for, anyway. That said, they are not my preferred readings, especially when a diagnosis is at play. Those I avoid, too. Mostly these days I just ask Spirit not to send me things I feel totally uncomfortable with...so far so good.

[Lantana]

Health is the big one, I won't read about that for others or myself. Mental health though, probably accounts for 80% of my readings.

Third party readings are in the gray for me. I'm not going to toss out every question or spread postion that involves another person, but there are times it goes too far.

 

What do you mean by mental health? I mean, a lot of questions are 'mind-related', but I wouldn't consider them 'mental health-related'.

Would you diagnose something like depression or anxiety? That wouldn't be good.

But if you act as a support for people dealing with some kind of mental health problem or disorder, I think it CAN be fine, even though without proper knowledge/training it can do more damage than help.

But here I'm talking about diagnosed problems, not typical 'mind-related' stuff we all deal with in our everyday lives (hearbreaks, job loss, lack of motivation, etc)

 

Oh, I definitely mean the latter and not the former. I'm not even sure how you would diagnose someone with just Tarot cards honestly. ETA: Actually, this is one of the reasons I don't do health. I don't like the responsibility and finality of it, but also, how even?

Some background on myself: I got into tarot because I had gone through trauma and had no way to access to any kind of psychiatric help despite deeply hurting. A lot of my friends are in that same situation for one reason or another, and Tarot has been helpful for me to try to heal and to help my friends to do the same. It's not a substitution for psychiatric help, nothing is, but it is something for when you have nothing else to turn to. Almost all of my "mind-stuff" is related to my mental illnesses, so tossing it out would leave not a lot to talk to my cards about. Mental health is what I deal with in my everyday life, and even though I am in therapy now I still use Tarot for this purpose (and my therapist is supportive of me doing so).

I should mention that when I talk about readings about 90% of those are for me. I read for myself and close friends, not really so much for strangers these days. I understand your concern, though.

[isawhale]

I don't really like to do what I call "make or break" readings, in that the reading is THE final answer to some issue. So, for example, I've read quite a few people where issues of fidelity were at play, but I stopped a reading where there was an issue of fidelity (this was a reading for a co-worker). First, it came to me in a super obvious way (female self card, male partner in environment, crossed by another female). I didn't know she was asking about infidelity/divorce going into it (I don't usually ask people to tell me what they want to know about, unless reading remotely where information is actually helpful), but I did as soon as I laid three cards down. I remember saying, "You know what? Maybe this isn't the best day to read." Her response was, "I think my husband is cheating on me, and I want to find out so that I can decide whether to end the marriage." OR something to that effect (quite a few years ago, going from memory). So things like that automatically give me great pause.

 

In a lot of ways, health issues are like this, too, though in my experience if someone is actually dying it's usually something the family knows about and is energetically preparing for, anyway. That said, they are not my preferred readings, especially when a diagnosis is at play. Those I avoid, too. Mostly these days I just ask Spirit not to send me things I feel totally uncomfortable with...so far so good.

 

Ahh same; I really don't like reading for cheating or things like that...sometimes it is loud and clear in a reading and in that case I'll usually ask if another female is in the picture or getting in the way depending on the cards pulled. I don't want to be responsible for a big stormy argument or breakup unless I am 100% certain.

 

For the invasion of privacy thing for third party readings...I never really thought of it like that. So I'm still trying to wrap my head around it; as a pretty shy sometimes guarded person I still wouldn't care if anyone knew my feelings towards someone or intentions if it were revealed by dreams or divination because like (assumed most of us) my intentions for others are good and I believe my feelings are justified. I guess it comes down to what feels comfortable for us; I feel and see peoples hidden feelings and intentions for me quite alot in my dreams which I find out about later in the real world so I figured it was much of the same. I trust in the universe and feel you will only be shown with dreams, tarot, other divination methods..what you are meant to see. Tarot will never reveal all. When it comes to third-party information not directly involving the querent I feel that is more personal information; but when it relates directly to the querent (how does S feel towards me, what are d's intentions with me? They are subconciously feeling and interacting with this energy already and wanting confirmation on it. I feel it is of no harm to the third party to share these things as this information is all within the client's energy field that they themselves have access to if they would tune into to their subconcious mind . I suppose it is very considerate to turn down all third party readings for privacy-which some people do, but I truely don't see the harm if the topic related directly to the querent and poses no threat to anyone personal freedom or well-being.

[Onaorkal]

Health is the big one, I won't read about that for others or myself. Mental health though, probably accounts for 80% of my readings.

Third party readings are in the gray for me. I'm not going to toss out every question or spread postion that involves another person, but there are times it goes too far.

 

What do you mean by mental health? I mean, a lot of questions are 'mind-related', but I wouldn't consider them 'mental health-related'.

Would you diagnose something like depression or anxiety? That wouldn't be good.

But if you act as a support for people dealing with some kind of mental health problem or disorder, I think it CAN be fine, even though without proper knowledge/training it can do more damage than help.

But here I'm talking about diagnosed problems, not typical 'mind-related' stuff we all deal with in our everyday lives (hearbreaks, job loss, lack of motivation, etc)

 

Oh, I definitely mean the latter and not the former. I'm not even sure how you would diagnose someone with just Tarot cards honestly. ETA: Actually, this is one of the reasons I don't do health. I don't like the responsibility and finality of it, but also, how even?

Some background on myself: I got into tarot because I had gone through trauma and had no way to access to any kind of psychiatric help despite deeply hurting. A lot of my friends are in that same situation for one reason or another, and Tarot has been helpful for me to try to heal and to help my friends to do the same. It's not a substitution for psychiatric help, nothing is, but it is something for when you have nothing else to turn to. Almost all of my "mind-stuff" is related to my mental illnesses, so tossing it out would leave not a lot to talk to my cards about. Mental health is what I deal with in my everyday life, and even though I am in therapy now I still use Tarot for this purpose (and my therapist is supportive of me doing so).

I should mention that when I talk about readings about 90% of those are for me. I read for myself and close friends, not really so much for strangers these days. I understand your concern, though.

 

I'm pretty sure some people would manage to diagnose (correctly or not) some diseases or troubles with tarot.  ;) *I*, on the other hand, wouldn't even try for sure haha!

 

When talking about working on mind-related / mental health troubles with the help of tarot, I guess it's all good, as long as people use common sense. Like even if you are seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist, you have to do some work 'by yourself' anyway. So why not use tarot as an additional helping hand?

Or sometimes, truthfully the person can't afford professional help. When it's for yourself or someone close enough that you trust and who's trusting you too, I think all is well. But I'm pretty sure there could be legal concerns (in some countries anyway) if people are giving 'psychologist-level' help to strangers, especially in exchange of money! :$

 

For the invasion of privacy thing for third party readings...I never really thought of it like that. So I'm still trying to wrap my head around it; as a pretty shy sometimes guarded person I still wouldn't care if anyone knew my feelings towards someone or intentions if it were revealed by dreams or divination because like (assumed most of us) my intentions for others are good and I believe my feelings are justified. I guess it comes down to what feels comfortable for us; I feel and see peoples hidden feelings and intentions for me quite alot in my dreams which I find out about later in the real world so I figured it was much of the same. I trust in the universe and feel you will only be shown with dreams, tarot, other divination methods..what you are meant to see. Tarot will never reveal all. When it comes to third-party information not directly involving the querent I feel that is more personal information; but when it relates directly to the querent (how does S feel towards me, what are d's intentions with me? They are subconciously feeling and interacting with this energy already and wanting confirmation on it. I feel it is of no harm to the third party to share these things as this information is all within the client's energy field that they themselves have access to if they would tune into to their subconcious mind . I suppose it is very considerate to turn down all third party readings for privacy-which some people do, but I truely don't see the harm if the topic related directly to the querent and poses no threat to anyone personal freedom or well-being.

 

I know this subject is very divisive in the tarot community. In the end, people will do what they feel like is ok anyway. I mean, in most cases the third-party might never know they were the focus of some tarot reading! But I know that if it were to happen to me and that I would learn about it, I would feel betrayed.  ::)

[katrinka]

By the way, of course I also avoid inherently malicious questions. Like if someone asks me what would be the best way to murder his/her spouse that would prove to be the least traceable. Or which consigliere should a certain gang boss choose since he wants to expand his business holdings. I mean whut?!? That would make me an accessory to the crime, I think?

 

Good question. I would think it might fall under "spectral evidence", which has been inadmissible in court since shortly after the Salem witch trials. LOL.

Does anyone know of a relevant case?

 

I won't assist anyone who wants to rape, molest, or stalk. Not because I fear legal repercussions, but because F*** those people. I don't get those kinds of questions from readings I do face to face or sell on my blog. I used to get them occasionally when I worked the Keen lines. It's frustrating because all you can do is block them and report it to customer service. You have no way of finding out who they are, or if the police were ever notified.

 

If somebody just wants to know if the cards say that they can get away with supplementing their paycheck by selling weed until they have enough for a car or something, then yes, I try to help them out. In other words, it's ethics rather than legalities.

 

I very seldom refuse to read on anything. I preface some things by repeating the legal disclaimer ("For entertainment purposes only and not intended as a substitute for a qualified professional"). I tell the client that I am not a doctor/psychiatrist/whatever, that's not my background. But I answer anyway. I got into doing that when I worked the lines, "psychic" lines are crazy. You get a LOT of "Am I pregnant?" calls. They could get a pregnancy test for less than the price of the reading!

[katrinka]

2- Third party readings. Sometimes my fiancee would like to ask ''What is that co-worker thinking about me?'' and I'm like ''Let's try to rephrase this.'' haha. For sure I wouldn't do readings on topics like ''Does this person think about me right now???'', ''Is this person sexually attracted towards me??'' or even ''Is my boyfriend cheating on me??''

 

I do those. That's the bulk of our business.

Andy Boroveshengra once said that it's not "third party" anyway, since the reader isn't party to the situation. But even if it was, I don't have a problem with it.

[Trogon]

I was kind of wondering when a thread like this would start up. The question of personal ethics is one that was visited a few times on the old Forums. And, I feel it is an important one. Especially for folks who are just starting out, as well as any who are considering going pro, or maybe just haven't been reading for other people, but want to. I think that a person should decide on what they consider to be the line they will not cross and why they won't ... it helps us when something questionable comes up.

 

There are a few things that I generally won't do readings on. One is the "spying" type question; "what is this person doing?" or "are they cheating on me?". Now, having said that, if someone comes to me with such a question, I will see if they want a reading on their relationship with that person. I will do that because the reading is about the person in front of you and how they relate to the other person. Or, if they want to know what some person thinks of them, I'll suggest one of the "potential friend/partner" reading about both of them. Probably.

 

Exception to that rule; I will, and frequently do, perform readings on political figures. Especially when they're running for office and want me to vote for them. I want, and need to know what their intentions, ethics, what they're hiding and so forth are. If someone wants to make laws and rules that affect me, the county, state, or country, they kind of relinquish the right to privacy as far as I'm concerned.

 

And a quick observation; the issue of privacy when it comes to Tarot readings isn't about whether or not I would mind if someone knew what I thought of them. The real issue is whether or not the person you're doing the reading about would mind. And we can not know that. So, to me, it goes against my personal ethics. Maybe I wouldn't mind if someone wanted to watch me through the window of my house ... that doesn't mean that it is right for me to watch someone else. Or, for example, if person A is asking about things in person B's life, and person B has a strong religious based aversion to Tarot cards or other forms of divination, I personally don't feel it would be right to do the reading that A is asking for. That is just my personal take on the matter and why I decided I wouldn't work with those sorts of questions.

 

I will do future-type readings if someone asks, as long as I can be sure they understand that the future is not set in stone and that even small decisions can have big effects on the future.

 

I will do readings about health. However, again, I make certain that the querent understands that I won't diagnose illnesses and that if they have a concern, they really need to see a doctor. In fact, I have done several readings for people who I then told that they needed to see a doctor - but the readings were actually more about why they were worried, what their fears were and why they might be reluctant to go to a doctor.

 

Mental health issues have come up without specific questions on them. They come up quite often. I don't diagnose specific disorders, but I have seen phobias, depression, suicidal ideations, and PTSD come up in readings over the years. But I have had training and experience with things like these in my "day job". I don't diagnose, nor treat, but I can bring it up so that they can talk about it and maybe be willing to get help afterwards. Though with one person who had PTSD (not combat related), she did ask for my help with overcoming some facets of it - she has little money and the government assistance wouldn't cover treatments for her. I was reluctant, but she worked hard and is doing better these days.

 

I will, and have done, readings about familial spirits who might be interacting with a querent. In fact, I have on a few occasions gotten very specific messages from a spirit to pass on to someone during a reading. But, these messages are usually passed on to me by my own Spirit Guides, and I am not directly interacting with said spirit. I have done a couple of readings about specific Spirit Guides for a couple of people where I have interacted directly with that Spirit Guide. Those were extremely interesting readings - but then, they weren't spirits of people who have passed on.

 

Another one that was mentioned a few times were of the "am I pregnant?" or "is this person going to die?". When I get these, I explain that Tarot doesn't really work well with "yes/no" questions, then help them to formulate a question that addresses the issues in more depth. Such as, instead of "am I pregnant", maybe look into what concerns they might have over whether or not they are. Then I'd suggest getting that pregnancy test as katrinka suggested.

 

Religion and other spiritual questions are always fair game as far as I'm concerned. The Tarot excels at helping people to explore different spiritual paths and finding what may be the right one for them. Sometimes these paths may be finding a way that is different from organized religion. Sometimes, it might be finding out that they need the structure that is inherent in organized religion. I recall a reading many years ago where a person was feeling spiritually confused - The Hierophant came up in the "advice" position. I suggested to them that they needed that sort of structure in their life just then. They started going back to church and found that that really was best for them.

 

As far as many of these questions go, we also have to decide about the ethics of discussing what we learn about one of our clients. There may be times, as some have already mentioned, that we may discover some indication of criminal activity or intent. Do we reveal that to law enforcement? As katrinka also mentioned, "spectral evidence" is not admissible in court ... but LE might be able to use it to get further, hard evidence. But what if we find out about wrong-doing by someone at work? Not illegal, just ... questionable. Do we report that to a supervisor? For me, I decided that I would get ordained as a minister. For most things, this gives my querents protection under the law, I can't be forced to reveal what I learned (protected as though it were confessional). Admittedly, one of these days, I may find out something of a criminal nature ... and I'll have to make that decision whether or not to go to the proper authorities with it. A dilemma to be certain.

[katrinka]

I was kind of wondering when a thread like this would start up. The question of personal ethics is one that was visited a few times on the old Forums. And, I feel it is an important one. Especially for folks who are just starting out, as well as any who are considering going pro, or maybe just haven't been reading for other people, but want to. I think that a person should decide on what they consider to be the line they will not cross and why they won't ... it helps us when something questionable comes up.

 

Yes.

 

Basically, I think it's the same as whatever your regular ethics are. I made a short blog post on that a few months ago https://fennario.wordpress.com/2017/06/28/on-ethics/. But yes, somebody just going into it needs to think about how far "too far" actually is.

 

There are a few things that I generally won't do readings on. One is the "spying" type question; "what is this person doing?" or "are they cheating on me?".

 

I don't see those as spying. Cards are not proof positive, and it would be lunacy to confront somebody, put their things out on the porch, or file for divorce on the basis of a card reading alone. We might have a good accuracy rate, but none of us are infallible or omniscient.

 

We're having a conversation about somebody when we read on those questions. If someone at work confided in you that they suspected their partner (whom you haven't met) of cheating and wanted to know your thoughts, would you have that conversation? If so, it's fine to read cards on it, IMHO. If not, then you shouldn't read on it, either.

 

Inasmuch as the client is affected by what someone else does or thinks, it IS their business, IMHO.

 

Exception to that rule; I will, and frequently do, perform readings on political figures. Especially when they're running for office and want me to vote for them. I want, and need to know what their intentions, ethics, what they're hiding and so forth are. If someone wants to make laws and rules that affect me, the county, state, or country, they kind of relinquish the right to privacy as far as I'm concerned.

 

So is there a tipping point at a particular number for you? I'm not trying to be a smart@$$, I'm just trying to understand this. Where is the cutoff point between between one client and a nation being affected? Would you read on someone running for governor? Mayor? Sherriff? Your child's teacher?

 

Maybe I wouldn't mind if someone wanted to watch me through the window of my house ... that doesn't mean that it is right for me to watch someone else.

 

That would be window peeping. I don't think I've ever asked the cards what somebody looks like naked. My Keen callers didn't even ask that.  ;D

 

Another one that was mentioned a few times were of the "am I pregnant?" or "is this person going to die?". When I get these, I explain that Tarot doesn't really work well with "yes/no" questions, then help them to formulate a question that addresses the issues in more depth. Such as, instead of "am I pregnant", maybe look into what concerns they might have over whether or not they are. Then I'd suggest getting that pregnancy test as katrinka suggested.

 

Lenormand works for yes/no more often than not. But it's still not a pregnancy test.  :P

 

Death is hard  to call from the cards because it can show up so many different ways. For a person who has been suffering, it can show up as such lovely cards that it looks like a recovery. I will look into it, but I let my clients know that there's a higher than normal chance I could miscall it. Death is a strange thing. If you've ever been around when someone died, it almost feels like a presence. It's bigger than us - I don't know how else to explain it.

 

As far as many of these questions go, we also have to decide about the ethics of discussing what we learn about one of our clients. There may be times, as some have already mentioned, that we may discover some indication of criminal activity or intent. Do we reveal that to law enforcement? As katrinka also mentioned, "spectral evidence" is not admissible in court ... but LE might be able to use it to get further, hard evidence. But what if we find out about wrong-doing by someone at work? Not illegal, just ... questionable. Do we report that to a supervisor?

 

No.

 

Can you imagine going to your boss, or the cops for that matter, and saying "My cards told me that John Jones is stealing"? They wouldn't take you seriously, they'd laugh at you before you were out of earshot. And if in time, they found out that John Jones actually WAS stealing, you wouldn't be vindicated. They'd want to know how you "really" got the information. You'd get blamed for being an accomplice.

 

Some police departments have used card readers or psychics, true. But they sought out the readers, not vice versa.

 

For me, I decided that I would get ordained as a minister. For most things, this gives my querents protection under the law, I can't be forced to reveal what I learned (protected as though it were confessional). Admittedly, one of these days, I may find out something of a criminal nature ... and I'll have to make that decision whether or not to go to the proper authorities with it. A dilemma to be certain.

 

If somebody (not the cards, but a person) told me about a child sex ring or a murder, confidentiality goes out the window. I've never violated confidentiality, but in a case like that, I'd be morally obligated.

 

[gregory]

I avoid third party readings ("what does he feel for me") - if you can't ask, then you don't get to know; if you can't ask, it is by definition an intrusion. Whether or not the cards can be accurate in these cases.

 

Financial and legal issues. They need experts and I am not about to ruin someone's life by looking at the cards and suggesting even faintly that yes this is an enterprise to invest in. ("Has my mother changed her will?" isn't in that class.)

 

Health. I have, oddly enough, picked up two serious health problems when reading on something else. But they were by chance and I didn't specify or diagnose; I just said please see a doctor; I think there may be an issue with (x part of your anatomy.) But I'm not a doctor - I could "see" something as significant which was - because of other things about the sitter's health - not significant at all.

 

I will not will not WILL NOT read on "Is he gay ?" Which, let's face, it is usually asked because a) some girl fancies him and can't BELIEVE he doesn't fancy her back, so he MUST be gay, right ? or b) some guy wants to make a pass at him, and is scared.

 

Get to know him and if he's gay he will tell you when it's relevant to your friendship/relationship. I am not in the business of outing people who don't choose to be outed. Even if I reliably could - which is questionable.

 

We're having a conversation about somebody when we read on those questions. If someone at work confided in you that they suspected their partner (whom you haven't met) of cheating and wanted to know your thoughts' date=' would you have that conversation? If so, it's fine to read cards on it, IMHO. If not, then you shouldn't read on it, either.[/quote']

This is good. And as I wouldn't have that conversation, it works for me. (I'd be into "What makes you think he's been cheating" and the like. IF I had seen him shagging his secretary - I wouldn't say so; it isn't my place to make that kind of mess, but I might let HIM know I'd seen him.)

[isawhale]

I avoid third party readings ("what does he feel for me") - if you can't ask, then you don't get to know; if you can't ask, it is by definition an intrusion. Whether or not the cards can be accurate in these cases.

 

Financial and legal issues. They need experts and I am not about to ruin someone's life by looking at the cards and suggesting even faintly that yes this is an enterprise to invest in. ("Has my mother changed her will?" isn't in that class.)

 

Health. I have, oddly enough, picked up two serious health problems when reading on something else. But they were by chance and I didn't specify or diagnose; I just said please see a doctor; I think there may be an issue with (x part of your anatomy.) But I'm not a doctor - I could "see" something as significant which was - because of other things about the sitter's health - not significant at all.

 

I will not will not WILL NOT read on "Is he gay ?" Which, let's face, it is usually asked because a) some girl fancies him and can't BELIEVE he doesn't fancy her back, so he MUST be gay, right ? or b) some guy wants to make a pass at him, and is scared.

 

Get to know him and if he's gay he will tell you when it's relevant to your friendship/relationship. I am not in the business of outing people who don't choose to be outed. Even if I reliably could - which is questionable.

 

We're having a conversation about somebody when we read on those questions. If someone at work confided in you that they suspected their partner (whom you haven't met) of cheating and wanted to know your thoughts' date=' would you have that conversation? If so, it's fine to read cards on it, IMHO. If not, then you shouldn't read on it, either.[/quote']

This is good. And as I wouldn't have that conversation, it works for me. (I'd be into "What makes you think he's been cheating" and the like. IF I had seen him shagging his secretary - I wouldn't say so; it isn't my place to make that kind of mess, but I might let HIM know I'd seen him.)

 

Ahh..If I'd seen a guy cheating and a woman asked about it then I'd 100% off him to her. lol The only reason I wouldn't create that kind of mess with cards even though my accuracy is good; I've had a lifetime of years with my eyes and ears..only a few years with tarot so won't create huge waves with it unless I feel absolutely certain, but I would ask the person if there is another close female around him or ask if he is interested in another woman to sort of hint at keeping an eye and a ear out (if i'm CERTAIN). What do you feel about empaths or telepathy (if you don't believe-then just imagine)? Would that be an intrusion in your eyes as well since you do not ask first before unconciously taking in their feelings or thoughts? Just curious? Thanks :)

[Onaorkal]

Trogon, I won't quote your whole post because it's super long, but I agree 200% with everything you wrote, and you phrased it 100 times better than I could.  :D

[sandrang123]

Trogon,

 

Thank you for your (always) thoughtful posts.

 

I'm going to speak from the realm of someone who also channels and literally is HIT with things so can't avoid them. It blurs these lines of ethics, which I care greatly about. It's on my mind lately, because I recently had an experience with this.

 

So I joke on my profile, that "I see dead people," but I have had people I'm only remotely connected to, and sometimes not connected to personally AT ALL, show up in my liminal space. So a few years back (as only one example of many), a neighbor I knew, but didn't know well, had a grandson die. I knew that, in general but not specific terms (of what happened), nor did I invest myself in it, either. So one night, I was "in and out" of the zone, looked over, and saw a spirit guide (he belonged with me...a short old Jewish man. I know guides because when I see them they feel like family and I'm never startled or afraid, and all I sense is their love). So he told me, flat-out: "Sandy, you're going to turn your head and see someone that might frighten you, but I don't want to be afraid." So OK, I turned my head and there was this very, *very* intense little one almost right in my face, invading personal space. He was about 12 or so with white (like Children of the Corn white!) hair, which would have totally freaked me out, had my guide not told me this. Side note: I think that's why my guide showed up to announce him, as usually I don't get a guide first. So this boy communicated that he was my neighbor's grandson and he wanted me to tell her x, y, z. For the record, sometimes I think people who channel get things delivered to them because they're the closest "source" for a spirit to speak to--they might be more open, they might be in close proximity, that person might be totally shutting down, etc...I have mulled over these things quite a bit across my life!

 

So anyway, I'm feeling totally crazy and anxious about telling a somewhat stranger/neighbor that I've had a third party kind of intrude on MY space (!). But to my surprise, everything that kid told me resonated with her. Weirder, though, I said: "Oh, good, I'm glad my dream (I always couch it as "dream" as that's more innocuous for people) was right, because you know, I'll be honest, it sort of scared me b/c he had white hair and I didn't know what to make of that." And she said, matter-of-factly, that her grandson, who was killed in an automobile crash, had dyed his hair white about a month before the crash.

 

Recently--like three or four days ago--I had a communication about an old friend who I am no longer friends with, nor do I wish to be. But it hit me, in a really hard way. Her daughter pulled me into a dream. I always know my dreams, and when I'm in "another" space, but this one was crazy because I was in (of all god awful places) and American Girl (is that what it's called?) shop, and my first thought was WTF? But I turned and E-- was there. And I was like, you clever little witch! You pulled me into your dream! But then she showed me her parents and told me they were divorcing. So it bothered me so much, I wrote to her dad just saying I was concerned and thinking of them. Sure enough: Divorcing. This is someone I haven't spoken with in 4 years.

 

Crime cases: I have had spirits reach out to me about this, to the point where I've gotten up at 3 in the morning to look up missing kids. But in recent years, I've asked NOT to be communicated about this stuff. It's too frustrating and sad and really what I've gotten has not been enough to help in exact terms.

 

Why say all this? Well, because, for some people they can't help but be involved because SPIRIT involves them. Third-party to spirit? Aren't we all?! I would like to put Spirit on "ethical watch" too. :)

 

If anyone has similar experiences about how you get pulled in, in reverse order--minding your own business, just trying to get through a day--I would love to hear about it (even in PM). Thanks, Friends! And thanks for raising the issue, in general.

[Onaorkal]

I don't consider these third party readings, sandrang123.

 

I mean it's not someone asking something about a third party who is not there to give their consent. For me it's more like someone came to tell you something about them or someone else. Except they are spirits and not in physical form.

 

If someone comes to tell you he cheated on his wife is not the same as the wife asking you if her husband cheated on her. That's how I see it anyway!

[Trogon]

There are a few things that I generally won't do readings on. One is the "spying" type question; "what is this person doing?" or "are they cheating on me?".

 

I don't see those as spying. Cards are not proof positive, and it would be lunacy to confront somebody, put their things out on the porch, or file for divorce on the basis of a card reading alone. We might have a good accuracy rate, but none of us are infallible or omniscient.

 

We're having a conversation about somebody when we read on those questions. If someone at work confided in you that they suspected their partner (whom you haven't met) of cheating and wanted to know your thoughts, would you have that conversation? If so, it's fine to read cards on it, IMHO. If not, then you shouldn't read on it, either.

 

Inasmuch as the client is affected by what someone else does or thinks, it IS their business, IMHO.

 

I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this. But that's okay since the discussion is about our personal ethics. When someone comes to me with a question like the ubiquitous "is he or she cheating on me?" I will ask them to rephrase the question. We can do a reading about their relationship in general, and/or why they think there is a problem. That way the reading is about them. The other thing about many of these is that the result of a "is he/she cheating" or "does he/she like me?", or (as Gregory mentioned) "is he/she gay", is you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. Sticking to the "cheating" question - if you say yes, and they are, you've revealed something that may destroy the relationship and the cheating person will be very angry with you ... if you say yes and they are not, you may still destroy the relationship over misreading the situation and both parties may be angry ... if you say no and you are wrong ... etc. This is why an actual relationship reading will be better. I have done a few relationship readings, and most of them, when there is trouble in the relationship, end with advice similar to "go talk to them about this" or "you should probably seek counseling" or other actually constructive and helpful advice.

 

The other thing about many of these questions is that they most often fall in the realm of "yes/no" questions which, as I've already mentioned, I generally don't do. When someone does come to me with a yes/no question that I do feel I can help them with, I still phrase it in terms of them having choices and here's a couple of different paths you can take. On the rare occasion that I need to do yes/no answers - I go to the pendulum. I almost never do this, though I can remember having done so. Most often I will do a Tarot reading and use the pendulum to expand on it and get further details.

 

Exception to that rule; I will, and frequently do, perform readings on political figures. Especially when they're running for office and want me to vote for them. I want, and need to know what their intentions, ethics, what they're hiding and so forth are. If someone wants to make laws and rules that affect me, the county, state, or country, they kind of relinquish the right to privacy as far as I'm concerned.

 

So is there a tipping point at a particular number for you? I'm not trying to be a smart@$$, I'm just trying to understand this. Where is the cutoff point between between one client and a nation being affected? Would you read on someone running for governor? Mayor? Sherriff? Your child's teacher?

 

The tipping point is how much someone is requesting me to trust them. In the case of political candidates, that is every single one of them. Governor, Senator/Representative, Mayor, Sheriff, Judges and especially President. I want to know what their motivations are, things they don't want me to know, what the difference is between who they really are and who they want the voting public to believe they are. The issue is that they are asking me, the voter, to take on faith everything they tell me, and to put them in a position of power (to a greater or lesser degree) over me. Hence these questions directly affect me and the answers should be part of the equation.

 

You also asked, though, about a teacher. A teacher is in a position which requires a high degree of trust, and when they betray that trust, that betrayal can be extremely harmful to my children (if I had any). So, given the correct circumstances, I would do a reading about a teacher or principal of the school or other public figures. What might those circumstances be? One hypothetical might be if someone comes to me for a reading because their child seems to be very afraid of a particular teacher. I would, again, do the reading in terms of the relationship between the child and the teacher. And yes, as parents, I do think that they would have the right to get a reading on their minor child in the same way that if anyone under about 16 were to ask me for a Tarot reading, I would want to make sure they had their parent's permission.

 

But, to me, there is a big difference between these public positions of trust (and the people who seek to hold them) and a coworker trying to stalk someone using me as their proxy. When it comes to people seeking public office, I feel that trying to learn their motivations is not only ethical, it is critical. When it involves a private person, I will be careful to avoid overt invasions of privacy. But doing a reading for someone else on their relationship is okay.

 

I guess it's similar to laws governing the recording of conversations. In many jurisdictions (including where I live), it is legal to record the conversation (without a search warrant) if one of the parties gives their consent.

 

Maybe I wouldn't mind if someone wanted to watch me through the window of my house ... that doesn't mean that it is right for me to watch someone else.

 

That would be window peeping. I don't think I've ever asked the cards what somebody looks like naked. My Keen callers didn't even ask that.  ;D

 

I didn't necessarily mean seeing me naked, I expect that would not be enjoyable for the peeper. ;D I was just referring to a general invasion of privacy. So, let me give a different example. If a person were to be visiting in someone's home ... it would be an invasion of privacy to look through their mail ... there might be a catalog from some risqué boutique, or some over-due bills. They're probably not going to be happy when word of those things gets out. Doing a Tarot reading with such questions as "is the person gay" or "are they seeing someone else" is, to me, a similar invasion.

 

And if I may put it another way; Let's say that, hypothetically, you personally wouldn't care if another reader did a reading about you, just "what kind of person is katrinka?" Hypothetically, you say to yourself; "I've got nothing whatsoever to hide from another reader and there's nothing that I wouldn't want revealed about me." And that would be fine ... but, would you then assume that because you don't care, that nobody else should care about someone doing a reading about them? That, because you don't care, that then it would be perfectly okay for Onaorkal to do a reading about their neighbor without their permission or their knowledge?

 

Another one that was mentioned a few times were of the "am I pregnant?" or "is this person going to die?". When I get these, I explain that Tarot doesn't really work well with "yes/no" questions, then help them to formulate a question that addresses the issues in more depth. Such as, instead of "am I pregnant", maybe look into what concerns they might have over whether or not they are. Then I'd suggest getting that pregnancy test as katrinka suggested.

 

Lenormand works for yes/no more often than not. But it's still not a pregnancy test.  :P

 

Death is hard to call from the cards because it can show up so many different ways. For a person who has been suffering, it can show up as such lovely cards that it looks like a recovery. I will look into it, but I let my clients know that there's a higher than normal chance I could miscall it. Death is a strange thing. If you've ever been around when someone died, it almost feels like a presence. It's bigger than us - I don't know how else to explain it.

 

Ah, well, I don't use any Lenormand decks. And, there's a fair chance I won't be either. So, for me anyway, the answer still stands. ;D

 

And I do agree with you about the subject of death. You have those issues that you've already mentioned, plus there is the issue of how the querent might see death, and how much the individual circumstances might affect those views. Fortunately, I don't believe I have had an actual death be predicted in a reading yet. A couple with serious injuries, but not a death yet. However, I have had them come up in past positions, and when they've been recent, it is a delicate subject.

 

Though a while back someone had seen me studying Tarot on a slow night at work. They jokingly asked if they were going to die. I turned a very serious face towards them and said, as somberly as I could manage; "Yes." They looked shocked until I added; "we all are, smart***."

 

As far as many of these questions go, we also have to decide about the ethics of discussing what we learn about one of our clients. There may be times, as some have already mentioned, that we may discover some indication of criminal activity or intent. Do we reveal that to law enforcement? As katrinka also mentioned, "spectral evidence" is not admissible in court ... but LE might be able to use it to get further, hard evidence. But what if we find out about wrong-doing by someone at work? Not illegal, just ... questionable. Do we report that to a supervisor?

 

No.

 

Can you imagine going to your boss, or the cops for that matter, and saying "My cards told me that John Jones is stealing"? They wouldn't take you seriously, they'd laugh at you before you were out of earshot. And if in time, they found out that John Jones actually WAS stealing, you wouldn't be vindicated. They'd want to know how you "really" got the information. You'd get blamed for being an accomplice.

 

Some police departments have used card readers or psychics, true. But they sought out the readers, not vice versa.

 

This is true. You would definitely be faced with disbelief at the very least, then looked upon as a suspect when it turned out to be true. But then, if someone came to you and asked for a personal reading because they were having trouble sleeping and during the reading or afterwards, they mentioned having committed the crime, now you've got an admission. What do you do?

 

Me, it would depend a lot on the crime. Is he worried because he's afraid his neighbor might report him for the 2 marijuana plants in his back yard? I would do the reading and give him the revealed advice. Is he feeling guilty because he robbed a gas station? I'd probably strongly suggest he turn himself in because it was eating him up. Killed someone, I'd turn him in. Am I being hypocritical? Maybe ... but ethics, like most of life, is rarely black and white ...

 

For me, I decided that I would get ordained as a minister. For most things, this gives my querents protection under the law, I can't be forced to reveal what I learned (protected as though it were confessional). Admittedly, one of these days, I may find out something of a criminal nature ... and I'll have to make that decision whether or not to go to the proper authorities with it. A dilemma to be certain.

 

If somebody (not the cards, but a person) told me about a child sex ring or a murder, confidentiality goes out the window. I've never violated confidentiality, but in a case like that, I'd be morally obligated.

 

As mentioned before, I would definitely agree in these types of situations. If some major crime came to light during a reading ... assuming that they didn't kill me outright to protect themselves, I'd be reporting it.