Question about Questions

[xTheHermitx]

So, I have a question for all of you who do readings for others, whether professionally or just for fun

 

How many of you have the sitter actually tell you their question before you draw, and how many have them keep the question to themselves and just do a read of the cards with the intent that the sitter applies the information themselves?

 

Is there a protocol?

 

I rarely read for others (I don't think I am "good enough" yet), but when I do, it is never a business exchange, so I always have the sitter think about the question, but not reveal it to me. I then usually do a 3 card spread, or maybe 4, (or whichever type I am learning) and explain what the cards mean in their position and draw order. Then I have them relate to me how they think the cards spoke to them regarding their query.

 

I do this because I feel it gives them most honest, uninfluenced answer. I also feel like it allows them to be more involved in their own outcome.

 

Am i doing this wrong? Or for the wrong reasons? 

[katrinka]

I always try to get the questions. Knowing what they want saves time, and people are paying for blocks of time.
If they want a general reading, OK. But if they specifically want to know something like why the dog is licking the windows and how to get him to stop, I don't want them paying sixty bucks for a half hour of "There seems to be an issue with an animal, the animal is stressed" type stuff while I'm trying to pick the context out of the cards.  It's like doing a reading on a reading, it adds an extra layer of work that shouldn't even be necessary. Client questions often have idiosyncratic contexts and you can get a lot more speed and precision if they just ASK. 

If you're just reading for fun and feedback, what you're doing is fine. But it would be all wrong for a paid reading.

Edited February 20, 2020 by katrinka

[xTheHermitx]

58 minutes ago, katrinka said:

I always try to get the questions. Knowing what they want saves time, and people are paying for blocks of time.
If they want a general reading, OK. But if they specifically want to know something like why the dog is licking the windows and how to get him to stop, I don't want them paying sixty bucks for a half hour of "There seems to be an issue with an animal, the animal is stressed" type stuff while I'm trying to pick the context out of the cards.  It's like doing a reading on a reading, it adds an extra layer of work that shouldn't even be necessary. Client questions often have idiosyncratic contexts and you can get a lot more speed and precision if they just ASK. 

If you're just reading for fun and feedback, what you're doing is fine. But it would be all wrong for a paid reading.

 

yeah, I sort of figured in the paid reading world that people want more specifics...like that is the expectation walking in the door. 

[Barleywine]

Although I give them the option, most of the people I've read for face-to-face professionally either can't whittle their request down to a single question and decide to just go with a broader topic-area reading (career, romance, finances, family issues, etc), or want to maintain their privacy. I'm perfectly OK with it because I've always followed Eden Gray's suggestion from way back in 1960 to not ask for a specific question. I just read the cards as they lay and my dialogue with the sitter brings out just as much detail as they're willing to divulge. But online readings are different, where I like a little more to go on. Still, since I try to have me sitters pull their own cards and tell me what they drew, I don't need a whole lot.

[53rdspirit]

It's helpful if the sitter has a specific question and states it out loud; however, since we do not live in a perfect world....

 

Face-to-face, is my preferred way and, like Barleywine, I give the sitter the option. I read the cards, not the sitter (much anyway 😄 ). Often, the sitter will start to loosen up and talk to me about what I see in the cards, then at other times, I get a sitter with that stone-cold face who utters not a word. Whatever, I'm ok with it --give me a challenge!

 

Over the phone/internet, I like Barleywine's way of having the caller pick the cards and I'll tuck that away in my memory stores, but I always drew the cards on my end for the caller. I closed my online website after I opened my brick and mortar store and just haven't gotten around to professional online readings again.

[katrinka]

2 hours ago, 53rdspirit said:

Often, the sitter will start to loosen up and talk to me about what I see in the cards, then at other times, I get a sitter with that stone-cold face who utters not a word.

I used to get those "test the reader" types a lot when I worked the lines. (One even ran around the house asking "What room am I in now?" Somehow I managed to name them all correctly, but I credit luck and familiarity with floor plans as much as my reading skills, lol.) But those people generally only paid for a few minutes. It was just idle curiousity. 

I'm not working the lines anymore, and the cheapest block of time I offer is a half hour, so I haven't had that happen in a long time. Pricing tends to weed out the idly curious. 😉



 

[xTheHermitx]

On 3/3/2020 at 5:44 PM, Barleywine said:

Although I give them the option, most of the people I've read for face-to-face professionally either can't whittle their request down to a single question and decide to just go with a broader topic-area reading (career, romance, finances, family issues, etc), or want to maintain their privacy. I'm perfectly OK with it because I've always followed Eden Gray's suggestion from way back in 1960 to not ask for a specific question. I just read the cards as they lay and my dialogue with the sitter brings out just as much detail as they're willing to divulge. But online readings are different, where I like a little more to go on. Still, since I try to have me sitters pull their own cards and tell me what they drew, I don't need a whole lot.

 

I feel like this is why I do it that way....like, I am afraid that if the reader tells me too much information at first, that it will skew the energy that the cards are working with. But as mentioned, I only ever read for others as a social/friendship type interaction. I am not charging people.

 

I always tell them to think of their query first, and tell them that they can voice it out loud, but I would like to try a reading of the cards without knowing the query, and then have them use the information I give to weave a possible outcome. We work together in a way and discuss the card meanings as they relate to any elements that come up. 

 

4 hours ago, katrinka said:

I used to get those "test the reader" types a lot when I worked the lines. (One even ran around the house asking "What room am I in now?" Somehow I managed to name them all correctly, but I credit luck and familiarity with floor plans as much as my reading skills, lol.) But those people generally only paid for a few minutes. It was just idle curiousity. 

I'm not working the lines anymore, and the cheapest block of time I offer is a half hour, so I haven't had that happen in a long time. Pricing tends to weed out the idly curious. 😉



 

 

man, I don't think I could do readings over the phone...I would get in trouble for 'telling off" people who were calling and being stupid, or ignorant...I would imagine you have to have a lot of patience doing that...

[Rodney]

Haven't read the other answers, but I need a question, even if that's just "What does the sitter need to know right now?" As I just posted in another thread, a well-formed question is paramount to a good reading. And the interpretation of the cards should be molded to answer the question. When I don't know the question, I don't know where to focus the interpretations.

 

I know readers though who do quite well with not knowing the question ahead of time as knowing the question confuses whatever the source of their interpretations is.

 

So, to ask or not to ask is the Reader's prerogative - there is no right or wrong way to approach that topic.

[katrinka]

3 hours ago, Rodney said:

When I don't know the question, I don't know where to focus the interpretations.

Exactly this. You can get in the ballpark, but you won't have the precision you would with a question.

Even a very simple, straightforward deck like the Lenormand has multiple meanings for each card. The Rider, for instance, could be news, a young, active guy, speed, a visitor, a vehicle, a package delivery, ligaments, legs and feet, a paramour, livestock, or the partner card for a gay man. 

And that's just a simple card depicting a guy on a horse. With Tarot it's compounded. 

[Barleywine]

I come at it from the opposite direction, and find tarot far more impressionistic than Lenormand. I tend to let the cards lead me into the narrative, and I begin by telling the rudiments of a story that is fleshed out and gradually takes shape through my dialogue with the sitter (what Joseph Maxwell called "vaticination;" in his words, "the best method is to inspect the spread of cards, and then, in the way taught by experience and inspiration, give a general outline of the probabilities. Specific orientation occurs when observation of the sitter shows some matter of importance has been touched"). I see it as a storyteller's art with a serious objective of opening their eyes to possibilities they may not have recognized on their own. I realize that sounds odd coming from someone who definitely reads a bit more analytically than intuitively, but it's how I've worked for a very long time, ever since I read Eden Gray's off-hand comment that you can start with a question from the querent or not, as you choose. She didn't really elaborate, but I took it to heart. Admittedly, it can take longer to get to the point, like a buzzard circling around a roadkill that's still warm, but it has served me well over the years. At most, I like to know the topic area of interest but not the details, and go from there.

[Audelia]

Great subject! I usually give people the option at the start of the reading. I ask: Do you have any specific questions? Or do you want to see what the cards throw up?

 

If they opt for the latter, I ask them to set the intention (as they shuffle) that the cards reveal the most important thing they need to look at right now. I usually find that they get exactly the information that they need that answers all their question. If they want to go more in-depth on anything the cards throw up initially, then we absolutely can.

 

 

[xTheHermitx]

10 hours ago, Audelia said:

Great subject! I usually give people the option at the start of the reading. I ask: Do you have any specific questions? Or do you want to see what the cards throw up?

 

If they opt for the latter, I ask them to set the intention (as they shuffle) that the cards reveal the most important thing they need to look at right now. I usually find that they get exactly the information that they need that answers all their question. If they want to go more in-depth on anything the cards throw up initially, then we absolutely can.

 

 

 

yeah...I almost always just tell them to think about the question. Then we interpret the spreads, and I ask if they want to relate the question to me for further discussion. But I also don't mind if they ask it out loud before we talk about it, or just bring up a situation. Again, this is always informal, so some times the meetings can go on for more than one session...

[theholysticvagabond]

On 3/4/2020 at 11:03 PM, katrinka said:

I'm not working the lines anymore, and the cheapest block of time I offer is a half hour, so I haven't had that happen in a long time. Pricing tends to weed out the idly curious. 😉
 

This is interesting. I really need to make people start to pay I think.

 

Most times, I ask the person to communicate me the(ir) question(s). I agree that it's way easier like that. And usually, readings are more in depth and useful this way.

However, if they really have nothing in mind but still like to do a reading, I would suggest them the classic "What do I need to know right now" or something similar.

 

And for the one that don't want to tell me their question cause they want to 'test me'. Well, it's a bad idea with me cause it will make me feel uncomfortable as I will put that on the fact that they don't have confidence in me or they just waiting some spookiness and I don't have time for that. 

[DanielJUK]

I have to admit I quite like the intuitive detective work through divination sometimes, trying to just say what I see or giving a message that comes up to the person, I like finding the story in the reading. However if someone wants a reading with detail or specific advice, I need details! I agree with everyone else about testing the reader. If you want detail, I need your question and a background with as much as you want to give. Someone once sent me an entire essay about their love life background for a really complicated reading! I did read through it and actually it allowed me to give a reading with specific advice about what to do and it really helped them.

 

I very rarely do readings face to face, but I think it's more a conversation, someone could just ask for a reading with no Q and then you can discuss it as you go but the risk of not knowing what you are actually reading on is that it becomes like cold reading. I do nearly all my reading (not professionally, I just do reading as a hobby) online, I tend to post my readings blind, it's not really a conversation. I really believe you get the detail if you give details 🙂 If I don't know what I am reading on or what direction I am going in, you going to get a more vague reading, it's all I know 🙂

 

 

[Cobweb]

I don't read tarot professionally but (in an entirely different sphere) my job is to advise people.    I frequently say to clients that the advice they will get is only as good as the information they have given me.    In other words, the more information I have about the background, the more specific and accurate the advice they will get.     If I don't have the details, I can give you a general overview based on my professional knowledge and experience;   on the other hand, if  I have the details, I can apply my professional knowledge and experience to your circumstances and give you specific advice.

 

It seems to me that it works the same with tarot readings.   If you ask for a general reading, you get me telling you what the cards generally mean.   If you ask a specific question, you get me telling you what the cards mean to you.

 

(As an aside, I did a lot of my tarot-learning practicing on my significant other.   They have a poker face and don't engage.   That is really really hard work!   Frankly,I ended up preferring to read for the cat!  😆 )

[Barleywine]

I'm also of the "give 'em the option" persuasion but I make it clear that they don't have to if they don't want to. After so many years of doing face-to-face readings I can make something out of pretty much anything, and then I dial it in through our interaction. Online readings are a little different when they won't tell me much. I give them what I see and then answer their questions during a post-reading email. It has worked very well so far. I've never felt seriously "tested" by a querent because I impress upon my sitters that their involvement in the shuffle and cut personalizes the reading for them, and I'm just there to help them interpret it. If they feel that they own it, they're less likely to needle me..