Birthday Section Discussion

[DownUnderNZer]

24 minutes ago, Raggydoll said:

The thing that first started this discussion was that some members felt left out for not being given a thread and they felt that the whole premise of the birthday section was unfair, since only a few select members were celebrated. I also know that some feel it’s sad when there is a thread but only one or two replies, and then someone else has lots and lots of replies to their birthday thread. That’s the core of this. The discussion has somewhat been led to focus on other things. 

 

 

@Raggydoll

 

That is sad and unfair.

 

Maybe, not too different to something like Mother's Day or Father's Day, TT and Me could consider creating a UNIVERSAL TT and ME BIRTHDAY day for ALL!

 

That way no one will feel left out.

 

 

DND 🌞

 

[DownUnderNZer]

 

And/or maybe -

 

A month by month acknowledgment thread opened to all.

 

EXAMPLE:

 

JANUARY BIRTHDAYS 2022

 

To all our wonderful TT and Me members that have birthdays in the month of January - this is for YOU!

 

May you day be full of happiness and lots of memorable moments.

 

Open to all to wish each and every one of our birthday friends...

 

 

DND 🌞

 

[ShadowMoon]

3 hours ago, DownUnderNZer said:

Open to all to wish each and every one of our birthday friends...

 

LOL... going by the threads above, this can create a potential issue too... lets say for example you and me are in Jan... you get all the @ mentions and I get none! Blasphemy! 

You get the gist right? 

 

I say destroy it and then this thread too... 

[DownUnderNZer]

1 hour ago, iMoodyCrab said:

 

LOL... going by the threads above, this can create a potential issue too... lets say for example you and me are in Jan... you get all the @ mentions and I get none! Blasphemy! 

You get the gist right? 

 

I say destroy it and then this thread too... 

 

@iMoodyCrab

 

Would perhaps be a bit of work too I reckon with lots of responses to each thread.

 

Mind you, TT and Me could always do one singular notice per month with a list of the ones that are having birthdays (that want it) accompanied by a special birthday message just for them as a whole - no option for any responses.   

 

That way each birthday member is acknowledged and there is no unfairness.

 

 

DND 🌞

 

[AJ-ish/Sharyn]

still sounds like a lot of thankless work for the mods. My assumption of a monthly thread was the birthday person themself posts it is their birthday if they want hey-hey's from anyone. Unless for some strange reason Members are sorted by birthday and the list could just be copy and pasted. 

 

There are a number of chat threads to be friendly in. 

[AlbaTross]

Is it odd that I've gone from having no opinion on this whole birthday thing (hence why I voted other), to really cheering for it by virtue of it being the underdog in this poll?  It went from people overwhelmingly voting to axe it, to about 1/3 of people voting to keep it.  Now, part of me is rooting for it, even though I didn't actually pay it any heed due to rarely even scrolling that far down in the forum.  After finding out what other people think, the most practical and utilitarian solution may be to find a better alternative, but I swear, a staple of my week has been checking that poll that I really have no real stake in just to see if anything would change.

[Grace]

On 3/15/2021 at 5:34 AM, katrinka said:

My takeaway is that 98.8% of the membership consists of people who haven't logged in recently, and lurkers. Forums are like that. I don't know how many active members saw the poll, or the percentage of those who voted.

Yep. Me. lol. I have been MIA since the start of the year as life has just become a little too hectic to fit tarot in the last few months. *insert saddest face of all*. So I didn't vote.

But if I can offer my two cents... a big 'meh', followed by massive eye roll. 🤣 I don't mean to be insensitive and/or hurt anyone's feelings here, that is the last thing I would want to do. No-one likes to feel the sting of being left out. But life is full of disappointments, unfairness and inequality much larger than missing out on a birthday greeting. It would be nice if society stopped dancing around peoples insecurities, and instead nurtured a little more resilience. Can we do that? Any ideas on how? Can I even say that in this day and age without sounding like a cold hearted bitch? lol

I haven't ventured down the birthday section, but I would assume those members who are 1) more active on the forum and therefore, 2) more likely to have developed friendships within the community (which sometimes continue outside the confines of the forum), and 3) actually visiting the forum on any particular day/time to notice a particular birthday would influence the creation/posting of birthday related messages. 

Even at my most active period on the forum, I have not taken much notice of the birthday section. Partly because I am birthday agnostic and rarely care to check these things unless they are right in my face or relating to astrology, but also because I would rather focus on the tarot. 
 

Edited March 18, 2021 by Grace

[katrinka]

40 minutes ago, Grace said:

Yep. Me. lol. I have been MIA since the start of the year as life has just become a little too hectic to fit tarot in the last few months. *insert saddest face of all*. So I didn't vote.

 

Welcome back! 

 

40 minutes ago, Grace said:

But if I can offer my two cents... a big 'meh', followed by massive eye roll. 🤣 I don't mean to be insensitive and/or hurt anyone's feelings here, that is the last thing I would want to do. No-one likes to feel the sting of being left out. But life is full of disappointments, unfairness and inequality much larger than missing out on a birthday greeting. It would be nice if society stopped dancing around peoples insecurities, and instead nurtured a little more resilience. Can we do that? Any ideas on how? Can I even say that in this day and age without sounding like a cold hearted bitch? lol

 

Well said. That level of fragility can't be healthy.
I don't advocate keeping the birthday threads because of that, of course. It's just that my objections to them largely center on other issues that I've already mentioned.

 

[PathWalker]

You took a vote, you have a majority voice.

Done.

Let it go.

[fire cat pickles]

9 minutes ago, PathWalker said:

You took a vote, you have a majority voice.

Done.

Let it go.

 

I agree with this. The Destroy It wins out 50.75/49.25, (even with "the Other's" spoiler effect of sorts, whatever that encompasses.) 

 

And each of the "the Other" suggestions seem to add more work for the mods in the long run. Not fun. 

 

[gregory]

On 3/18/2021 at 5:47 AM, Grace said:

I haven't ventured down the birthday section, but I would assume those members who are 1) more active on the forum and therefore, 2) more likely to have developed friendships within the community (which sometimes continue outside the confines of the forum), and 3) actually visiting the forum on any particular day/time to notice a particular birthday would influence the creation/posting of birthday related messages. 

 

This is at the nub of it. Some people who aren't the kind to "make friends on line" feel hurt when no-one starts a thread for them. There was a genuine question a couple of years ago from someone who wanted to know why she hadn't got a thread. And to say "well, no-one bothered to start one for you" would have been a bit heartless, if you see what I mean - but realistically, what else could one say ? And that's a slap in the face right there !

 

56 minutes ago, fire cat pickles said:

I agree with this. The Destroy It wins out 50.75/49.25, (even with "the Other's" spoiler effect of sorts, whatever that encompasses.) 

 

And each of the "the Other" suggestions seem to add more work for the mods in the long run. Not fun. 

 

Agreed.

[katrinka]

We have a pretty comfortable margin, yes. Adios, birthday threads!

[GreatDane]

I CERTAINLY don't want anyone to feel left out and wouldn't care if the BD thread is removed.  HOWEVER, I would still like to see bds subtly noted to the side as they are now, so I can pm peeps, whether I know them or not.  Not everyone HAS someone IRL to even wish them a happy bd.  I am lucky, I do, but some don't.  So I would LIKE to see bds listed the way they are now, but don't care re BD thread itself, especially if anyone gets skipped and feelings are hurt.   I'm not in all the time, every day, but when I am in, I DO like to check bds for that day.     

[gregory]

That works for me. PM anyone you (generic) see listed as having a birthday, and let it go at that. I suppose people who get no PMs will still say they are being left out - but they really need to get a grip on that one...

Edited March 19, 2021 by gregory

[AlbaTross]

Wow, that gap in the poll continues to narrow.  It's turning into a real nail-biter.  Enough so that it may be worth doing this: 

 

Should the Tarot, Tea & Me keep or get rid of its birthday section?

This is a seemingly simple, why it should stay, why it should be gotten rid of, and what we need to know spread.  So, reversed Justice for why we should keep it.  Of course my deck would turn what should be a fun and simple exercise into a more challenging one.  I think it might be saying that we should consider how this decision will impact everyone, including those who use this section.  For why we should get rid of it, there's the Seven of Swords.  So, we should think strategically and do what's best for the forum.  Trying to please everyone will not solve the issue.  Also, there may have been plans to deal with this section that have been procrastinated for various reasons, and it may be best to just deal with it now.  What we need to know is the Six of Wands.  It's the card directly after the Five of Wands, and  seems to be saying, matter-of-factly, this forum will be better off once the conflict is over, regardless of the outcome.  

Edited March 26, 2021 by AlbaTross

[fire cat pickles]

There really should be a new poll with a Yes or No option. The "Other" option doesn't add any value as it is a "Yes and No". In my opinion the poll is flawed.

[Little Fang]

It was meant to see if people had suggestions for a different way of doing things, and I've seen some suggestions so I feel it worked. It's not flawed if I'm getting what I want out of it. 

[Little Fang]

Closed previous poll, added some of the suggestions to a new and final poll that will be open until the 15th.

[Saturn Celeste]

Just now, Little Fang said:

Closed previous poll, added some of the suggestions to a new and final poll that will be open until the 15th.

Can you please put a direct link to the poll?  The announcement you posted has no way to vote, I can't click on anything.  I would like to put my vote down to delete it. 😉

[HOLMES]

1 hour ago, Saturn Celeste said:

Can you please put a direct link to the poll?  The announcement you posted has no way to vote, I can't click on anything.  I would like to put my vote down to delete it. 😉

 I can't vote as well.

[katrinka]

I think this may be it, but it won't let me vote.
 

 

 

[AJ-ish/Sharyn]

it let me vote

https://www.thetarotforum.com/forums/topic/11043-birthday-section-keep-or-demolish/

 

[katrinka]

Not me. I've tried on both the laptop and the phone. I even tried it with the default theme just now. No dice.

[fire cat pickles]

Me either. I've tried on my laptop and phone.

[Little Fang]

That is strange, let me remake it.