Author suggests to *never* read for yourself?!

[EMarieHasADHD]

I stumbled across a book titled “Mastering the Tarot” by Paul Fenton-Smith. I read a couple of pages as I was curious about its potential based on the title. I feel there are more than enough beginner tarot books and not near enough intermediate/advanced ones. However, I scoffed and stopped reading as soon as I saw an entire page about how one should ONLY read for other people and literally NEVER read tarot for oneself.
 

His reasoning being that one is too emotionally invested in the outcome and cannot be objective which will cloud the reading. I find this to be ridiculous. Yes, we are invested in the outcome of a reading for ourselves and we want only good things to happen to us. But, I feel the best use of tarot is introspection, personal growth, and personal development. I’m even reading “Holistic Tarot” by Benebell Wen right now which discusses how immensely powerful tarot is for these reasons. Awesome book, btw. 

Does anyone here agree with Mr. Smith? Anyone never read for themself? 

[Raggydoll]

In my humble opinion, that’s pure nonsense 😁

[EMarieHasADHD]

1 minute ago, Raggydoll said:

In my humble opinion, that’s pure nonsense 😁

Right? Hence the scoffing and ceasing of reading lol 

[Raggydoll]

14 minutes ago, EmarieWithADHD said:

Right? Hence the scoffing and ceasing of reading lol 

Maybe the author can’t read for himself and assumes that it is the same for everyone else? He might be projecting his own limitations on the rest of us 😊

[Chariot]

Are there honestly tarot readers out there who don't read for themselves?

Of course there are pitfalls in terms of emotional involvement, but just be aware of the pitfalls!  I shudder to think of learning to read for other people if I can't read for myself.  How else do I learn what the cards can do, how they interact, and the various levels of meaning they convey?  (Everyday-mundane through to REALLY SIGNIFICANT pivotal points in life?)

I bought that book at one time, but ended up giving it away.  I can't remember all the reasons, but it just didn't click with me.  It was a long time ago.  Yet he is a respected tarot author who is often mentioned.  Just maybe a bit out of date?

[Raggydoll]

28 minutes ago, Chariot said:

Are there honestly tarot readers out there who don't read for themselves?

Yes. I have come across tarot readers that do not read for themselves. 

[Chariot]

Just now, Raggydoll said:

Yes. I have come across tarot readers that do not read for themselves. 

Did they ever read for themselves?  How did they learn?  I suppose I can understand this with experienced readers ...but at the beginning?  Maybe I'm just out in the boonies with this, but I can't imagine not reading for myself.  It's  how I learned. 

[Raggydoll]

25 minutes ago, Chariot said:

Did they ever read for themselves?  How did they learn?  I suppose I can understand this with experienced readers ...but at the beginning?  Maybe I'm just out in the boonies with this, but I can't imagine not reading for myself.  It's  how I learned. 

I can’t speak for other people. However, I don’t think there is anything wrong if a person decides to not read for themselves, the problem is when someone says that no one should read for themselves. All those ‘rules’, they’re just not my thing 😄

Edited October 12, 2024 by Raggydoll

[EMarieHasADHD]

11 minutes ago, Raggydoll said:

I can’t speak for other people. However, I don’t think there is anything wrong if a person decides to not read for themselves, the problem is when someone says that no one should read for themselves. All those ‘rules’, they’re just not my thing 😄

👏👏

[Chariot]

21 minutes ago, Raggydoll said:

I can’t speak for other people. However, I don’t think there is anything wrong if a person decides to not read for themselves, the problem is when someone says that no one should read for themselves. All those ‘rules’, they’re just not my thing 😄

Oh, I'm sure you're right. It's just I find it hard to believe that people can learn the tarot without ever reading for themselves ...unless, maybe they learn in a setting where everybody is reading for other people?  In other words, their very first readings would be for other people?  Yikes.

[Raggydoll]

1 minute ago, Chariot said:

Oh, I'm sure you're right. It's just I find it hard to believe that people can learn the tarot without ever reading for themselves ...unless, maybe they learn in a setting where everybody is reading for other people?  In other words, their very first readings would be for other people?  Yikes.

My very first reading was actually for someone else and I do not remember ever read for myself in the beginning! I experimented on my sister and later on friends and other relatives. I was 12 at the time and I don´t think there was anything in particular I wanted to ask the cards. 

[Moon-Hermit]

I basically learned tarot by reading for myself, CONSTANTLY, and on any subject I could come up with. Later when I became more confident, I tried reading for really close people whom I knew wouldn’t make drama in case I missed a few points. And now that I’ve joined this forum there are many great opportunities to both read for more people from diverse backgrounds and expand my knowledge.

Personally I would normally refrain from doing a reading for myself if the question was too sensitive; a heavy emotional topic or health issues, for example. It’s a personal preference and it’s because I know myself; I know that I can’t stay completely detached while doing a reading on those topics, or will miss a few important points to say the least. Even if I do such a reading on such a topic, it’ll be after I’ve dealt with it to some extent and now am looking for insight on how I did/how I can improve from there on. Otherwise, I’m fine with reading on any other matter for myself. 🙂

[Chariot]

1 hour ago, Raggydoll said:

My very first reading was actually for someone else and I do not remember ever read for myself in the beginning! I experimented on my sister and later on friends and other relatives. I was 12 at the time and I don´t think there was anything in particular I wanted to ask the cards. 

I wonder if that's the key for some readers ...they don't have anything in particular they need to know, pertaining to themselves.  I can understand that.  Sometimes I want to work with the cards, but feel there isn't anything in particular going on with me.  

[EMarieHasADHD]

8 minutes ago, Chariot said:

I wonder if that's the key for some readers ...they don't have anything in particular they need to know, pertaining to themselves.  I can understand that.  Sometimes I want to work with the cards, but feel there isn't anything in particular going on with me.  

That’s funny because I always have some kind of issue to deal with/get clarity on or something about myself to work on lol.

You could maybe ask about: 

-dream interpretation/clarification 

-talents you should develop more 

-subconscious fears/beliefs to work on releasing 

-messages from your guides/ancestors/passed on loved ones 

 

Just some ideas for when you can’t think of anything 🙂 

[Esclarmonde]

I also learned by reading for myself. And of course there is the danger that emotional involvement and one's attitude to the issue will get in the way. What I found when reading for myself is that I should not read when I'm upset, angry, excessively worried or scared about the issue that I want insights on. The cards would just "pick up" the emotions and all I'd find in the reading would be my emotional state at that moment. But after some time (e.g. a couple of days) when I've had time to settle and adopt some distance to the issue, then the reading would be more accurate and more about the situation and ways to solve it rather than my emotional state.

[Ix Chel]

Reading for your self, is often more difficult than reading for others. I have red this book years ago, it was mainly for the tarot card meanings. 

 

You do not have to agree with everything what an author says. It is just an opinion. Some people like a deck, and you do not like it. Pick the good things out of this book. And if you like to read for yourself, just do it. 

 

Remember the words of Barbara Moore: Your Tarot your way.

 

[DanielJUK]

Never reading for yourself is a strong idea and message. That seems very restrictive. However there is a modicum of truth in that idea I think.

 

- Being impartial and objective is really difficult, it's much easier to read for someone else. We do have forum members who just cannot read for themselves and get other people to read for them or get second opinions in the reading section. I think it is a skill but some people just never seem able to do it and that is fine. It's easier to learn by reading for other people than ourselves.

 

- Some people just prefer to read for other people and don't read for themselves, but that is their preference

 

- There are some scenarios where I think it's ill-advised to read for ourselves. When we feel very emotional about a question or topic in our lives, maybe there are some things we just cannot be objective about. Then it's a really good idea to get a second opinion, get a friend to read for us or pay for a professional reading. I know personally there are some things I cannot read for myself but other things I can.

 

It's our own reading decision of course and I don't agree with the never!

[gregory]

5 hours ago, Chariot said:

Are there honestly tarot readers out there who don't read for themselves?

 

Yes. I am one of them.

 

4 hours ago, Raggydoll said:

I can’t speak for other people. However, I don’t think there is anything wrong if a person decides to not read for themselves, the problem is when someone says that no one should read for themselves. All those ‘rules’, they’re just not my thing 😄

 

Exactly this. I respect and support all those - the large majority - if readers who read for themselves,. But I don't.

 

2 hours ago, Ix Chel said:

Reading for your self, is often more difficult than reading for others. I have red this book years ago, it was mainly for the tarot card meanings. 

 

You do not have to agree with everything what an author says. It is just an opinion. Some people like a deck, and you do not like it. Pick the good things out of this book. And if you like to read for yourself, just do it. 

 

Remember the words of Barbara Moore: Your Tarot your way.

 

Barbara is a wise woman and a very nice lady. I collect her books 

[JoyousGirl]

I agree with you @EmarieWithADHD that personal inquiry and development are an important use of the cards, and indeed some cards specialise in that - so reading for yourself is only natural. 

The other thing is that we build a relationship with the cards through conversations in self-reading - we ask questions we wouldn't ask others, and we seek help from the cards when we don't feel allowed to be vulnerable elsewhere. The card answers. We respond with an emotion or new awareness.  Or just give up on them because we don't like what they have to say. 

Many of us go through a process of introducing ourselves to the deck - and the way it responds to us in our self-readings gives us an idea of the deck's personality. When we read sometimes it is straight to the point, no wishy-washy - confronting us with the truth (if we're willing to see it) in such a way that makes us laugh and be thankful at its directness.  I've been there and I'm sure others have. Other times cards are gentle, calling you to yourself, or nurturing.

Anyway, he's entitled to his opinion, and there is always the possibility of not being objective about a matter. We're all different (even though we're all the same.) He is right in this regard, whether we are reading for ourselves or someone we know, or anyone else that we have formed opinions about due to some unconscious bias (e.g. how a person looks, speaks, their gender, communication style, their age, our petty hates etc) 

Edited October 12, 2024 by JoyousGirl

[Chariot]

8 hours ago, gregory said:

 

Yes. I am one of them.

 

 

Exactly this. I respect and support all those - the large majority - if readers who read for themselves,. But I don't.

 

 

Barbara is a wise woman and a very nice lady. I collect her books 

I admit my reaction was one of genuine surprise. I stand corrected.

[gregory]

No worries. But as one who can testify to this, I had to post !

[Misterei]

On 10/12/2024 at 8:13 AM, Chariot said:

Are there honestly tarot readers out there who don't read for themselves?

Yes and I think you hit it when you commented the book might be out of date. I don't know the book per se, but there were definitely old skool readers [before my time] who did NOT use Tarots for introspection and self-reflection. Tarot was fortune-telling and you didn't tell your own fortune.

 

Things have evolved to where most of us now-a-days couldn't imagine *not* reading for ourselves. And even people who don't read for themselves, it's a choice [like @gregory]. Not following a tradition that you can't tell your own fortune.

 

On 10/12/2024 at 9:46 AM, Moon-Hermit said:

I basically learned tarot by reading for myself, CONSTANTLY, and on any subject I could come up with. Later when I became more confident, I tried reading for really close people whom I knew wouldn’t make drama in case I missed a few points. ...

Personally I would normally refrain from doing a reading for myself if the question was too sensitive; ... I know that I can’t stay completely detached while doing a reading on those topics,

Me too. In my experience the self-discipline of remaining neutral while reading for ourselves [as difficult as it can be] is good training for reading others. Yes, it's easy to not be so affected by someone else's issue, but I still must cultivate neutrality so my own judgements don't creep in. My struggles to learn neutrality when reading myself ultimately helped me remain more neutral reading others.

[EMarieHasADHD]

Ah yes. Many of you are correct that it was published quite a bit ago. I discovered that the publication date was 11/01/2008 so perhaps that says much about his “never read for yourself” viewpoint. 

[Misterei]

1 hour ago, EmarieWithADHD said:

Ah yes. Many of you are correct that it was published quite a bit ago. I discovered that the publication date was 11/01/2008 so perhaps that says much about his “never read for yourself” viewpoint. 

LOL to me old skool means 1808. Or maybe 1908 😉

The trend toward self-reflection and psychology started in the 1960s and was well established by 2008. For 2008 this author was definitely an outlier.

[EMarieHasADHD]

1 hour ago, Misterei said:

LOL to me old skool means 1808. Or maybe 1908 😉

The trend toward self-reflection and psychology started in the 1960s and was well established by 2008. For 2008 this author was definitely an outlier.

True lol I agree. 16 years ago wasn’t THAT long ago. I just think it’s lame that he says to all readers of that book and all his students (he mentions teaching students at this time) to never read for yourself as no good will ever come of it. That’s crap. And it will/can even probably has caused many budding readers to fear utilizing tarot for reflection and personal growth.