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Too angry to be spiritual?

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is it still possible to be spiritual and have evil thoughts? :think: i don't want to be thinking like that but some people make me want to be a medieval torturer. I try handle things in a calmer manner but my blood ends up boiling like a cauldron lol

 

Interested to see if you guys have felt similar, if you have overcome it or still going through it.

I believe in spirituality yet sometimes my thoughts don't feel very spiritual lol

please feel free to share your stories/experiences and advice if any.

 

thanks  :heartz:

 

 

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Certain situations have undone me for a while - most notably a divorce where children were concerned.

But generally it does ME more harm than the person I'm so angry with, and I strive to work through feelings like that (talking out loud, journalling, moaning to a really good friend etc.).

 

I might ask myself what about a situation makes me angry - what is it sparking IN ME? Because I can change or work on myself.

Or what can I DO about a situation in a constructive way - raise awareness, raise charity finance, or whatever, make the emotion useful.

 

Blessings

PathWalker

)0(

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Certain situations have undone me for a while - most notably a divorce where children were concerned.

But generally it does ME more harm than the person I'm so angry with, and I strive to work through feelings like that (talking out loud, journalling, moaning to a really good friend etc.).

 

I might ask myself what about a situation makes me angry - what is it sparking IN ME? Because I can change or work on myself.

Or what can I DO about a situation in a constructive way - raise awareness, raise charity finance, or whatever, make the emotion useful.

 

Blessings

PathWalker

)0(

 

i agree there, anger can be more destructive to ourselves than others more often than not. i have been crapped on by people who claim to be angels but are really the devil. after getting myself accidentally involved with a covert narcissist i have this extreme anger towards any kind of bully. Makes me want to become some kind of vigilante lol similar to Dexter just less gruesome. though i'd much rather be loving and supporting people than feeding them their own medicine, some days the anger wins  :( Journaling might be a good idea. might be a better alternative than smoking the herb. nothing gets me calmer than the herb.

I appreciate your reply, thank you for sharing.  :heartz: ((

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I have found that tarot is the perfect tool for personal development and shadow work. It has definitely helped me to be more understanding and humble toward life (and people) and to contemplate more often what it is that I am adding to any situation. That does not mean that I’m perfect - or that I’m even striving to be. I’m a realist and just want to make the most of things. But I do wish that I could increase my patience a bit more..  :think:

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I don't think the weed (or alcohol or anything of that nature) helps in the ultimate scheme of things. The effects are temporary. The anger remains.

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I have found that tarot is the perfect tool for personal development and shadow work. It has definitely helped me to be more understanding and humble toward life (and people) and to contemplate more often what it is that I am adding to any situation. That does not mean that I’m perfect - or that I’m even striving to be. I’m a realist and just want to make the most of things. But I do wish that I could increase my patience a bit more..  :think:

 

i didn't think of that :blove: Might actually try that thank you for sharing.

there are so many different ways to do tarot spread, bit of an amateur so wouldn't know where to start haha, what would you recommend please?  ^-^

 

I don't think the weed (or alcohol or anything of that nature) helps in the ultimate scheme of things. The effects are temporary. The anger remains.

i completely agree. :( going to have to face the music sometime. i didn't like weed until i dated a covert narc. he was addicted and got me into it. these days i use it to calm myself from all the pain. without it i'm grumpy. it's pathetic of me really but sometimes it hits the spot when nothing else can at the time.

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I have found that tarot is the perfect tool for personal development and shadow work. It has definitely helped me to be more understanding and humble toward life (and people) and to contemplate more often what it is that I am adding to any situation. That does not mean that I’m perfect - or that I’m even striving to be. I’m a realist and just want to make the most of things. But I do wish that I could increase my patience a bit more..  :think:

 

i didn't think of that :blove: Might actually try that thank you for sharing.

there are so many different ways to do tarot spread, bit of an amateur so wouldn't know where to start haha, what would you recommend please?  ^-^

 

 

As some have already said - sign up to the mentor programme here. There is no better place to start !

 

https://www.thetarotforum.com/tarot-mentorship/student-sign-up/

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I have found that tarot is the perfect tool for personal development and shadow work. It has definitely helped me to be more understanding and humble toward life (and people) and to contemplate more often what it is that I am adding to any situation. That does not mean that I’m perfect - or that I’m even striving to be. I’m a realist and just want to make the most of things. But I do wish that I could increase my patience a bit more..  :think:

 

i didn't think of that :blove: Might actually try that thank you for sharing.

there are so many different ways to do tarot spread, bit of an amateur so wouldn't know where to start haha, what would you recommend please?  ^-^

 

 

Well, you could for starters check out any of MY spread collections  :party:

https://www.thetarotforum.com/raggydoll's-little-place/collection-of-spreads/

https://www.thetarotforum.com/30-days-working-with-the-moon-spreads/30-days-of-working-with-the-moon-a-spread-for-each-day-of-the-lunar-cycle/

But seriously, we have an awesome collection of spreads in the Spread category of the forum. I would go with something fairly simple. Three card spreads will give you lots of information without overwhelming you, so that can be a good idea. Make sure you like and understand every position of the spread before you use it. You can always rephrase it so that it feels more relevant or makes more sense to you. Another approach is to simply decide on a question and then lay out three cards (yes, I really like the number three when it comes to spreads ^-^) and then you just interpret those cards together as the answer to your question. Most readers interpret the cards from left to right, but there is no right or wrong here. See if any card strikes you as being especially significant or if they seem to tell a shared story. Perhaps you will find that one card feels like it represents a person and the others a place or an event. Go with your instinct!

 

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I have found that tarot is the perfect tool for personal development and shadow work. It has definitely helped me to be more understanding and humble toward life (and people) and to contemplate more often what it is that I am adding to any situation. That does not mean that I’m perfect - or that I’m even striving to be. I’m a realist and just want to make the most of things. But I do wish that I could increase my patience a bit more..  :think:

 

i didn't think of that :blove: Might actually try that thank you for sharing.

there are so many different ways to do tarot spread, bit of an amateur so wouldn't know where to start haha, what would you recommend please?  ^-^

 

 

As some have already said - sign up to the mentor programme here. There is no better place to start !

 

https://www.thetarotforum.com/tarot-mentorship/student-sign-up/

 

 

I second this. The mentoring program is excellent!

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I have found that tarot is the perfect tool for personal development and shadow work. It has definitely helped me to be more understanding and humble toward life (and people) and to contemplate more often what it is that I am adding to any situation. That does not mean that I’m perfect - or that I’m even striving to be. I’m a realist and just want to make the most of things. But I do wish that I could increase my patience a bit more..  :think:

 

i didn't think of that :blove: Might actually try that thank you for sharing.

there are so many different ways to do tarot spread, bit of an amateur so wouldn't know where to start haha, what would you recommend please?  ^-^

 

 

As some have already said - sign up to the mentor programme here. There is no better place to start !

 

https://www.thetarotforum.com/tarot-mentorship/student-sign-up/

I am going to vouch for the mentor program. My mentor was great and is an amazing person.

 

I’ve been through the ringer too and have been pretty hurt. Tarot has helped me get on even ground more.

 

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I feel very angry at the moment about a lot of things which are out of my control. This is weird because it's an emotion I don't usually feel as by nature I am a happy go lucky cheerful person. I can't really give you the magic cure answer, a lot of people have different ways of dealing with anger and as a society, many people are more angry than ever in many different countries.

 

But spirituality can really help with anger and negative (worrying) thinking, original concepts from Hinduism and Buddhism like meditation and mindfulness can help us quiet the mind. That is the concept and I am trying to work with it but it's hard work! But I do believe spirituality (any form and any religion) has a function that can bring us peace but it's not an instant cure.

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Talking about anger always reminds me of this quote:

"Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies." ~Nelson Mandela

 

Anger is an umbrella emotion. It's like the red light on the dashboard. It's a signal of another feeling, of a need that isn't being met. It's useful only as this signal. Indulging in anger longer than for a brief moment to realize that it's a signal will hurt you more than whatever or whoever you are angry at. There is something deeper. It's not always easy to examine, but if you go beneath the anger, there is something there that needs to be addressed. Confusion can create and elevate anger. There is something to be discovered. Perhaps about the situation, but more likely, about yourself.

 

I used to have quite a temper, but I really didn't like it. It takes some time, but the more you practice, the more it become easier to quell the anger, return to love and then act, in whatever way you can. Some things are out of our control and those are certainly a waste of time to worry about, or be angry at. Redirect - when you feel that boiling feeling, redirect your thoughts. Take a deep breath, count to ten, practice sensory awareness (what can you see, what can you feel, what can you smell, what can you hear, etc.) to bring you back to the present moment and refocus. Meditation helps in the long term, but any kind of practice that helps redirect your emotional state at the time you are angry will help.

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is it still possible to be spiritual and have evil thoughts? :think: 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many years ago, when nearly every response I made was one fueled by anger and rage, I spent a lot of time with the tarot. Particularly focusing on the Devil and trying to understand from where these deep, dark, and angry response were coming. 

 

 

 

 

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Write it all down in a letter to the person you are angry with. Then burn it. Works for me.

 

This has worked as a first step for me, but my experience with using this technique extensively (I like fire and have been hurt a lot lol) is that if I don't take it a step further with my personal work, I'm going to find that anger coming back into my life - maybe it'll be with someone new who did something that echoes what made me angry in the first place, and sometimes it can end up being that if I do only this letter burning, my fuse is getting smaller and smaller later on.

 

So I do the letter. I write down EVERYTHING that made me mad, everything I feel, get that pain out there. Then, before burning, I ask myself if I'm good with releasing it, or if there's something more that I think I need from them to "close" that situation. This isn't to say in putting the power into their hands, though, if there is something that I think I need from them before allowing myself to truly release all of the hot feelings, then I've really gotta dig into some shadow work. That train of thought might go as folllows:

 

I want an apology.

Because I want acknowledgement that they realized they hurt me.

Because I want it to matter to them that they hurt me.

I want to matter to them.

I want to matter.

I want to matter.

 

Then, boom, I've got that seed that was triggered by the situation and I have a direction to go on my path of healing and I can go ahead and say "yeah, I'm ready to burn this paper and let the feelings that came up go". Without doing this step, that root feeling goes unaddressed and just tallies the situation as more proof.

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You're lucky. I want an apology from someone I was incredibly close to. She has told my partner that she realised she had behaved appallingly. She has never said it to me, and until she does... And now she is so ill that she will probably die before it ever happens. She's 3000 miles from here, I can't at the moment even go visit and see if having me in front of her triggers anything; I've not seen her in - three years, I think.

 

I have let the anger go; but the hurt is still there and I am frankly afraid to be around her in case she starts up again. I suspect an apology will never happen. You can't write hurt away as easily as anger, I think. Real closure would take an apology. To me, not sideways to my partner.

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You're lucky. I want an apology from someone I was incredibly close to. She has told my partner that she realised she had behaved appallingly. She has never said it to me, and until she does... And now she is so ill that she will probably die before it ever happens. She's 3000 miles from here, I can't at the moment even go visit and see if having me in front of her triggers anything; I've not seen her in - three years, I think.

 

I have let the anger go; but the hurt is still there and I am frankly afraid to be around her in case she starts up again. I suspect an apology will never happen. You can't write hurt away as easily as anger, I think. Real closure would take an apology. To me, not sideways to my partner.

 

Oh, I'm not saying that I get that apology that I wanted as part of the healing - it starts with acknowledging that I want that apology, digging into why I feel I need it to move on, digging into what deep inside me that the current situation is touching on, and I can usually discover that when I dig deep enough into that feeling, it's not about them or the current situation at all.  It's usually something in my childhood that keeps cycling through my life and once I do that healing of that trauma, then it doesn't hurt me when it comes up again.

 

The number of times I've been able to actually get a real apology from someone who I thought I needed one from is close to nil.  The number of times I've been able to figure out a place that needed healing from their lack of apology, too many to count.  The whole point of it isn't to give that power back to them by needing the apology, that's just the first step of the inner work! I figure out what I think that their apology would do for me, then find a way to do that for myself.

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Talking about anger always reminds me of this quote:

"Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies." ~Nelson Mandela

 

Anger is an umbrella emotion. It's like the red light on the dashboard. It's a signal of another feeling, of a need that isn't being met. It's useful only as this signal. Indulging in anger longer than for a brief moment to realize that it's a signal will hurt you more than whatever or whoever you are angry at. There is something deeper. It's not always easy to examine, but if you go beneath the anger, there is something there that needs to be addressed. Confusion can create and elevate anger. There is something to be discovered. Perhaps about the situation, but more likely, about yourself.

 

I used to have quite a temper, but I really didn't like it. It takes some time, but the more you practice, the more it become easier to quell the anger, return to love and then act, in whatever way you can. Some things are out of our control and those are certainly a waste of time to worry about, or be angry at. Redirect - when you feel that boiling feeling, redirect your thoughts. Take a deep breath, count to ten, practice sensory awareness (what can you see, what can you feel, what can you smell, what can you hear, etc.) to bring you back to the present moment and refocus. Meditation helps in the long term, but any kind of practice that helps redirect your emotional state at the time you are angry will help.

I very much agree with this. Anger is not a very useful emotion at all so finding the underlying cause is really important. But I do want to say that anger is a natural emotion, therefore I don't think that a very spiritual person is going to be totally rid of anger. But spirituality is all about personal growth, therefore I believe that working toward focusing and channeling that anger is important as a spiritual individual. We will all get angry... sometimes it is rational, sometimes it is not. I think it is best to look that anger in the face, address it, then work toward redirecting it.

 

But the original post seems to touch on an issue that is a little bit more than just anger... when you mention "evil thoughts" it almost sounds like intrusive thoughts. I do think that one can still be spiritual and have intrusive thoughts. What you are thinking is one thing, but what you say and what you act on is another. Having these thoughts and angry emotions is not inherently a bad thing. But if these thoughts and feelings are a regular part of your daily life, then that is probably detrimental to your overall well-being and that is another story.

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Talking about anger always reminds me of this quote:

"Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies." ~Nelson Mandela

 

Anger is an umbrella emotion. It's like the red light on the dashboard. It's a signal of another feeling, of a need that isn't being met. It's useful only as this signal. Indulging in anger longer than for a brief moment to realize that it's a signal will hurt you more than whatever or whoever you are angry at. There is something deeper. It's not always easy to examine, but if you go beneath the anger, there is something there that needs to be addressed. Confusion can create and elevate anger. There is something to be discovered. Perhaps about the situation, but more likely, about yourself.

 

I used to have quite a temper, but I really didn't like it. It takes some time, but the more you practice, the more it become easier to quell the anger, return to love and then act, in whatever way you can. Some things are out of our control and those are certainly a waste of time to worry about, or be angry at. Redirect - when you feel that boiling feeling, redirect your thoughts. Take a deep breath, count to ten, practice sensory awareness (what can you see, what can you feel, what can you smell, what can you hear, etc.) to bring you back to the present moment and refocus. Meditation helps in the long term, but any kind of practice that helps redirect your emotional state at the time you are angry will help.

 

this is exactly what i'm aware of and yet it's difficult to put into 3D, I think meditation might be the thing i need to bring back focus. hate being angry or moody it takes away from the beauty of now. :(

Since being awaken i have noticed a lot of toxicity within my group of friends. I hate that i do because i care about them and i'v known them for years so it's hard to fully detatch, they also try to put me down in passive-aggressive ways and i guess it's just built up from disappointment. in people mainly through my own expectations, though i try very hard not to let all that turn me bitter.

thank you all so much for sharing it's honestly lovely to know i'm not alone in this.

 

After i studied the hell out of narcissist/psychopath vids on youtube i felt miserable, lost and didn't want to go on after dating one myself. i was looking for a video on how to be more content and happy and i came across Jason J Gallant on youtube and he just completely changed my life. i feel hope again and more than ever to discover who i truly am. sick of being told how to live my life when i never want to dictate how someone should live. i just encourage people do the right thing, unless i feel super intimidated. some people just don't want others to be happy i'v learned.

did spirituality help any of you come through hard times in your life too? share only what you want people to know. you don't have to tell the whole story if it makes you uncomfortable. i know mine does.  ((

 

 

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I think meditation might be the thing i need to bring back focus. hate being angry or moody it takes away from the beauty of now. :(

 

This thread is wonderful!  I want to study before I respond in more detail, but this quote jumped out at me.

 

I learned this in my mindfulness practice: the now is not always beautiful.  Sometimes the now just plain hurts.  But being in the moment matters, no matter what the moment is.  The trick is to recognize that even the pain is perfect, and with that recognition comes joy.  And that joy so far is fleeting, but knowing that it is possible makes the now always beautiful. 

 

A paradox, eh?

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There have been times in my life when I contained so much rage and anger, it's a wonder I didn't self-immolate from the inside out. The words of Jack Kornfield (from his book The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness, and Peace) have helped me tremendously. Here are a few quotes:

 

Without forgiveness our lives are chained, forced to carry the sufferings of the past and repeat them with no release.

We begin the work of forgiveness primarily for ourselves.

It is painful to hate. Without forgiveness we continue to perpetuate the illusion that hate can heal our pain and the pain of others.

Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past.

True forgiveness does not paper over what has happened in a superficial way. It cannot be hurried.

Forgiveness does not forget, nor does it condone the past.

Forgiveness does not mean that we have to continue to relate to those who have done us harm. In the end, forgiveness means never putting another person out of our heart.

 

I have found that retelling and rethinking the events that caused my rage will keep the fires of anger burning bright. Meditation helps, not as a spiritual bypass, but as a way to be mindful of my thoughts so I can turn them towards something else. I often use the 'Beatles mantra' - let it be. :D

Hang in there - you're normal.  <3

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Anger is a very, VERY useful emotion. In its simplest, most benign form it is what allows us to say No, and to enforce our personal boundaries.

 

Anger is not bad in and of itself. How we manage it is what's important. I've found self-compassion exercises (Kristen Neff) and Focusing (Ann Weiser Cornell) very helpful, and abdominal breathing (a Qi Gong practice, I believe) to calm down. Shadow Work is really helpful and can be used to understand where the anger is coming from.

 

Anger is something that causes us to act when we see injustice - but again, how we use that energy matters. If it's going to be used for mindless destruction, then no. That's not healthy. But neither is trying to suppress our anger. We have to acknowledge how we're feeling in the moment. Having even that much self-awareness can help not to react badly, but to measure our words and actions. Or to walk away until we've cooled down enough to have a proper discussion.

 

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thank you for your advice Bodhiseed[/member], I own Jack Kornfield's Guide to Meditation, "Meditation for Beginners" which is one of the best walk through guide books of how to improve it, that I have found! I will look up The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness, and Peace  <3

 

He has some free meditations and talks on his website and some for dealing with anger, his page with them is here

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Starlight[/member]  - I completely agree that anger (like all emotions) serve a purpose that can be helpful. But as you state, it needs to be mindfully managed; anger that is used to lash out without discernment or anger that is suppressed can be dangerous or unhealthy. I would also heartily recommend your suggestion of Neff's work: self-compassion.org

 

DanielJUK[/member]  - Kornfield's website and meditations are great!

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