Nordica De Spell Posted June 5, 2019 Posted June 5, 2019 A close relative is married to someone with a truly bad case of NPD, probably with sociopathy involved. Recently, a hard limit was reached, and I need to find a solution on how to keep the venom that that person exudes AWAY from me and my family, AND remain in contact with the close relative. (Preferably, I’d just meet up with the relative, and go total no contact with the NPD partner — but as it tends to be with families and people involved, this problem is a lot more complex than that!) So, I’m looking for a solution-oriented spread that can deal with ”a situation filled with complicated obstacles,” and find a way over under through or around that!! I’ve got no idea on where to start looking for such a spread, but they got to exist, right? Thankful for any suggestions!
Decan Posted June 5, 2019 Posted June 5, 2019 You could try (?) 1. you with regard to the situation 2. What is against your wish (the obstacle to overcome, if it's possible) 3. The best way to deal with this situation (what is possible or appropriate, maybe a solution) 4. What will be
Nordica De Spell Posted June 6, 2019 Author Posted June 6, 2019 Dear @Decan, Thank you so much! It’s greatly appreciated! 💚 💐 I’m gonna try the spread you suggested; (and if there are more suggestions to this thread, I’m gonna try those as well...) Very kind of you!
Decan Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 (edited) You are welcome! Concerning the situation you described, and how painful this can be, it's important (in my opinion) to try to know if it's something "under your control", or completely "out of control". Generally we can have some influence on this and that but just partially (even when using spiritual means). So here I would possibly integrate in the spread a position (maybe before the advice card in position 3 in the spread I suggested) to have some ideas concerning this. And then the advice to follow. Well, my two cents of course! Edited June 6, 2019 by Decan
Nordica De Spell Posted June 6, 2019 Author Posted June 6, 2019 (edited) On 6/6/2019 at 8:03 AM, Decan said: You are welcome! Concerning the situation you described, and how painful this can be, it's important (in my opinion) to try to know if it's something "under your control", or completely "out of control". Generally we can have some influence on this and that but just partially (even when using spiritual means). So here I would possibly integrate in the spread a position (maybe before the advice card in position 3 in the spread I suggested) to have some ideas concerning this. And then the advice to follow. Well, my two cents of course! Thanks Decan, I’ll incorporate that in the spread! 💚 Edited June 8, 2019 by Nordica De Spell
Decan Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 Okay, I understand the background... Well, you have to deal with a painful situation which needs not only delicacy but also fortitude based on a pragmatical view. Really difficult, I'm sorry to hear that.
Nordica De Spell Posted June 6, 2019 Author Posted June 6, 2019 ———————————————— @Decan, Thank you so much for your response. It’s been more appreciated than you know. 🌱
Guest Night Shade Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 Hi @Nordica De Spell. This Overcoming Challenges Spread may help you deal with this woman a little bit, and this Stress Relief spread will hopefully help you deal with the stress this situation is putting you through. I'm sending you good wishes and good vibes. ❤️
Nordica De Spell Posted June 7, 2019 Author Posted June 7, 2019 Dear @Night Shade, Thanks a billion bunch! 💐 I’ll try those, (and the self-care angle is one I hadn’t considered! 💕) I’ve been pondering a lot, ”how to approach the tarot with this whole thing,” and been thinking that maybe I need to break the problem down into several spreads, where what you and what @Decan suggested are some of the angles to look at. Because I’m also looking for something ”action oriented,” I’ve been googling spreads, and also found a page on how to make one’s own spreads... (As a footnote; It’s really amazing what’s out there, spread-wise!) So, that’s a positive, I guess, being ushered by Spirit to find that out. And it’s important to see the Spirit path in all of this, too... Still, the situation feels so immensely sad to my Heart... However, I think, along with yours and Decans input also, that I’m well on the way of figuring a combination of spreads that can be really useful... And right now, it doesn’t feel as impossible that there can be a way ahead, as it felt to me yesterday. I have a little hope lit 🐿️ Thank you so much, both of you!! (💞💞💞💞)
JustPeachy Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 On 6/6/2019 at 9:44 PM, Nordica De Spell said: Dear @Night Shade, Thanks a billion bunch! 💐 I’ll try those, (and the self-care angle is one I hadn’t considered! 💕) I’ve been pondering a lot, ”how to approach the tarot with this whole thing,” and been thinking that maybe I need to break the problem down into several spreads, where what you and what @Decan suggested are some of the angles to look at. Because I’m also looking for something ”action oriented,” I’ve been googling spreads, and also found a page on how to make one’s own spreads... (As a footnote; It’s really amazing what’s out there, spread-wise!) So, that’s a positive, I guess, being ushered by Spirit to find that out. And it’s important to see the Spirit path in all of this, too... Still, the situation feels so immensely sad to my Heart... However, I think, along with yours and Decans input also, that I’m well on the way of figuring a combination of spreads that can be really useful... And right now, it doesn’t feel as impossible that there can be a way ahead, as it felt to me yesterday. I have a little hope lit 🐿️ Thank you so much, both of you!! (💞💞💞💞) It's been almost a month and I'm wondering how things have worked out for you with your neurotic family member. Have the spreads helped you define what you need to do? How have things shaken out?
katrinka Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 On 6/5/2019 at 10:58 AM, Nordica De Spell said: A close relative is married to someone with a truly bad case of NPD, probably with sociopathy involved. Recently, a hard limit was reached, and I need to find a solution on how to keep the venom that that person exudes AWAY from me and my family, AND remain in contact with the close relative. (Preferably, I’d just meet up with the relative, and go total no contact with the NPD partner — but as it tends to be with families and people involved, this problem is a lot more complex than that!) So, I’m looking for a solution-oriented spread that can deal with ”a situation filled with complicated obstacles,” and find a way over under through or around that!! I’ve got no idea on where to start looking for such a spread, but they got to exist, right? Thankful for any suggestions! You don't need dedicated spreads for various problems. I seldom stray from simple lines, boxes, and tableaus. Just ask "How do I find a solution on how to keep the venom that that person exudes AWAY from me and my family?" and "How do I remain in contact with the close relative?" and lay a line of 3, or 5, or a 3x3 box spread. That's all you need. Anything else will complicate the matter and fuzz up the picture!
katrinka Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 But, if you insist: ............................Bridge................. Situation........Obstacle............ Desired Outcome
Nordica De Spell Posted July 3, 2019 Author Posted July 3, 2019 On 7/2/2019 at 12:03 AM, JustPeachy said: It's been almost a month and I'm wondering how things have worked out for you with your neurotic family member. Have the spreads helped you define what you need to do? How have things shaken out? Thank you for asking! Things are pretty much the same. There’s been a little bit of contact with the relative, but none that I would consider true or valuable. They left for another country for the whole summer, so the problem is on ice, for now... So far, tarot has given me a very accurate description of what the situation looks like, and I already know those though... But all of it remains un-solveable, irregardless. Not that I’ve given up, but it’s a very difficult knot. I’m also having discussions with myself, and trying to solve it from other angles than the tarot. But haven’t got a single new insight on the problem yet, which is rare. I’ll definitely update when I know more!
Nordica De Spell Posted July 3, 2019 Author Posted July 3, 2019 On 7/2/2019 at 12:52 AM, katrinka said: You don't need dedicated spreads for various problems. I seldom stray from simple lines, boxes, and tableaus. Just ask "How do I find a solution on how to keep the venom that that person exudes AWAY from me and my family?" and "How do I remain in contact with the close relative?" and lay a line of 3, or 5, or a 3x3 box spread. That's all you need. Anything else will complicate the matter and fuzz up the picture! Dear Katrinka! I hadn’t thought of that! I’ve been so focused on trying to find the perfect spreads, and this seems much simpler! Thanks a whole bunch! I’ll definitely try this!! 💐
katrinka Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 My pleasure! And (if I'm not overstepping and being nosy here) let us know how it all works out.
rylla Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 On 6/5/2019 at 7:14 PM, Decan said: You could try (?) 1. you with regard to the situation 2. What is against your wish (the obstacle to overcome, if it's possible) 3. The best way to deal with this situation (what is possible or appropriate, maybe a solution) 4. What will be Love this spread! It worked so well for me! Thanks!
Decan Posted October 12, 2019 Posted October 12, 2019 You are welcome, it’s an adaptation of the French Cross spread.
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