zedekiel Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 Hi! forgive me if this would be better in a different section of the forum, I wasn't really sure if there was a good thread to go to for advice. TLDR: Should I get my friend his first Tarot deck? One of my closest friends recently came to me inquiring about Tarot. He has some understanding of it, as both me and one of his other friends and his girlfriend practice it. I think he is interested in dabbling in it and asked me if it was true that it would be better for him to wait for someone to gift him a deck, rather than get one himself. I told him the story of my first deck, how it was not gifted but we found each other in the perfect moment, and how gifted decks are wonderful but that in this day and age a rule restriction like that would cut out many people wishing to dive into Tarot on their own if they had no one around them who was also interested in it. Either way, I think he's putting it on the backburner as something he'll take action on later, but I know it's still floating around in his head until then. He is someone very universally connected to me and I see so much of him in me and me in him. He told me that the two cards that come up for him a lot when his girlfriend and friend do readings on him is the Magician and the 2 of Pentacles, two cards that I have a very strong connection with as well. So, when I saw a Tarot and magic user I look up to greatly had posted online that she restocked her Tarot decks, decks which she painted the art for herself, I felt something out of the ordinary. I would one day love to own this deck, but a thought crashed into my mind: that this deck felt like it fit my friend. I'm not sure why, there was just something about it that I felt he would resonate with, and which I also resonated with. I was thinking of maybe getting it for him, and offering to help him learn and practice. I was hoping for some opinions on if this sounds like a good idea? How do people view the "your first Tarot deck should be a gift" rule? I don't subscribe to it, but I think it can still be done, I'm just not sure how or by who. Any opinions/stories on your first decks welcome and desired!
Raggydoll Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 I was gifted my first one and it turned out to not be the right type of deck for me. I was almost deterred from learning tarot because of that first deck but luckily I found a store that featured other kinds of decks a couple of years later and so I got enthusiastic again. One of my friends were also gifted a deck - the Thoth. She gave up the idea of learning tarot because of that deck. I think it is usually best for each person to take the time to look for a deck that they personally resonate with.
gregory Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 (edited) I honestly don't think it makes any difference at all - except the feeling of someone who cared about me and about tarot having given me a deck. But I would - if I were going to do it for someone, encourage them to look at my decks, and see which one resonated with them. If someone gave me a dog themed deck,. it would never resonate with me, for instance. Which is the deck you wished you owned ? Edited November 23, 2019 by gregory
katrinka Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 9 hours ago, Raggydoll said: I was gifted my first one and it turned out to not be the right type of deck for me. I was almost deterred from learning tarot because of that first deck but luckily I found a store that featured other kinds of decks a couple of years later and so I got enthusiastic again. One of my friends were also gifted a deck - the Thoth. She gave up the idea of learning tarot because of that deck. I think it is usually best for each person to take the time to look for a deck that they personally resonate with. This. And even when someone chooses for themselves, the deck they pick might not be one they end up using much. Look at the popularity of trade forums - even longtime readers can end up not using something they thought they wanted. So don't feel overly pressured to get this "right". When we are learning something, our ideas about it can change rapidly. And reading cards is a perpetual learning process. A lot of us have been through phases. A person might start with RWS and move on to TdM or Thoth. They might come full circle back to RWS, or not. Our tastes can fluctuate, too. So do our ideas about the symbols. The value in a first deck that's gifted is this: 8 hours ago, gregory said: I honestly don't think it makes any difference at all - except the feeling of someone who cared about me and about tarot having given me a deck.
Guest Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 One thing I would say is to avoid any themed deck, even if it an interest of the intended recipient. I like cats; I would not say I like cat-tarots. Consequently, a standard pattern is perhaps best: Grimaud Marseille or Smith-Waite. I don't agree that the Thoth is too difficult for neophytes. It depends on the neophyte. I asked for my first tarot for around eighteen months before receiving it and was disappointed that it was not the Marseille deck I desired. However, the Elemental Tarot (Smith-Astrop) remains my favourite contemporary tarot. It was, however, difficult - I did not know what midheaven or ascendant meant as an 11-year-old. I ended up using some money to acquire a Richardson-Stringer (prediction) tarot but the Elemental and Marseille tarots have remained favourites, and influential for me. A neutral choice would be a set of playing-cards. There are very nice ones available.
katrinka Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 Yes. Since it will be a learning deck, I agree it should be standard, and it doesn't necessarily have to be an "easy" deck. (I think people subconsciously conflate "beginner" with "child" sometimes.)
zedekiel Posted November 24, 2019 Author Posted November 24, 2019 23 hours ago, Raggydoll said: I was gifted my first one and it turned out to not be the right type of deck for me. I was almost deterred from learning tarot because of that first deck but luckily I found a store that featured other kinds of decks a couple of years later and so I got enthusiastic again. One of my friends were also gifted a deck - the Thoth. She gave up the idea of learning tarot because of that deck. I think it is usually best for each person to take the time to look for a deck that they personally resonate with. I felt this too, especially for me as I like a lot of decks but I know there aren't many that I resonate enough with to actually use. In this case my friend seemed open to receiving a deck though, even intrigued, and I think because 3 close people to him practice Tarot the chance of him being totally deterred is smaller probably? Maybe I should look up some deck shops in my city, and if I do get the deck for him and it doesn't work well but he's still interested in Tarot I could take him to one so he might have a similar experience to you and get inspired? Also thank you for moving the thread, I was this close to posting this in the Tarot Talk to begin with but decided against it at the last moment. Shoulda listened to intuition! 23 hours ago, gregory said: I honestly don't think it makes any difference at all - except the feeling of someone who cared about me and about tarot having given me a deck. But I would - if I were going to do it for someone, encourage them to look at my decks, and see which one resonated with them. If someone gave me a dog themed deck,. it would never resonate with me, for instance. Which is the deck you wished you owned ? Yes! I very much get what you're saying and feel this! Your words made me think of if someone I knew who loved Tarot and me gave me a deck, and how wonderful that would feel even if the deck didn't fully resonate with me. We looked at the two decks I own and he loved them both and seemed drawn to their images so I wonder if we have a similar energy of decks that calls us. The deck I love so much, the one that I felt he would appreciate too, is the World Spirit Deck by Lauren Onca O'Leary and Jessica Szucka Godina: https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/527049990/world-spirit-tarot-deck-book-signed-by?ref=shop_home_active_2&crt=1 It's based off of the SRW system and art in a lot of places so I feel it would be good for someone at any stage of learning, and its take on the Tarot as being a multi-cultured global depiction of magic really resonates with its beautiful art. I also appreciate that the creators adopted a replacement of the court cards as Seer, Seeker, Sibyl, and Sage (Page-King) as it's non-gendered and very inclusive this way. My friend is an activist for social justice and I think getting used to the gender hierarchy in the traditional card forms might be an obstacle for him starting out. I know if I hadn't grown up with Pagan magic studies in my life it would be hard for me to shake the patriarchal feel of that system at the beginning as well. 14 hours ago, katrinka said: And even when someone chooses for themselves, the deck they pick might not be one they end up using much. Look at the popularity of trade forums - even longtime readers can end up not using something they thought they wanted. So don't feel overly pressured to get this "right". When we are learning something, our ideas about it can change rapidly. And reading cards is a perpetual learning process. A lot of us have been through phases. A person might start with RWS and move on to TdM or Thoth. They might come full circle back to RWS, or not. Our tastes can fluctuate, too. So do our ideas about the symbols. This is an excellent point, thank you. As we grow and change, so too can our use for our tools. I think if I get it for him I can preface it by explaining that if there comes a point where the deck becomes not useful to him anymore, he has no obligation to keep it and I would even encourage him to trade it off if the only reason he has it around is because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings or something. 14 hours ago, leroidetrèfle said: One thing I would say is to avoid any themed deck, even if it an interest of the intended recipient. I like cats; I would not say I like cat-tarots. Consequently, a standard pattern is perhaps best: Grimaud Marseille or Smith-Waite. I don't agree that the Thoth is too difficult for neophytes. It depends on the neophyte. I asked for my first tarot for around eighteen months before receiving it and was disappointed that it was not the Marseille deck I desired. However, the Elemental Tarot (Smith-Astrop) remains my favourite contemporary tarot. It was, however, difficult - I did not know what midheaven or ascendant meant as an 11-year-old. I ended up using some money to acquire a Richardson-Stringer (prediction) tarot but the Elemental and Marseille tarots have remained favourites, and influential for me. A neutral choice would be a set of playing-cards. There are very nice ones available. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your deck experience! I agree, I wouldn't want to get him something with a joke-y or even wholesome theme/gimmick. As much as those can be fun, I think they're more suitable for buying for yourself or buying for someone who already has a collection and you know they feel a connection to that theme. It's very interesting to hear you picks for the different styles of decks, especially as a child. It seems often whatever decks enter our lives, even if they did not wholly resonate, somehow impact us on our journey. Thank you to everyone for your comments and thoughts! I got a lot of great perspective on this from you all. I think I will buy it because either way I would like to own a copy of it so I can use the time it's in the mail to weigh on the options and energies to see if it'll be suitable as a gift. If I do give it to him I will preface it with and explanation of his 0 obligation to it if it doesn't resonate, but I think he might appreciate having a practice deck at least for now, and if he decides he wants to choose his own in the future and doesn't want this one, he can always gift it back to me har har
Saturn Celeste Posted November 24, 2019 Posted November 24, 2019 Just now, zedekiel said: One of my closest friends recently came to me inquiring about Tarot. He has some understanding of it, as both me and one of his other friends and his girlfriend practice it. I think he is interested in dabbling in it and asked me if it was true that it would be better for him to wait for someone to gift him a deck, rather than get one himself. Sure you can gift him a deck because it is the gift that counts. Not the deck. But I do suggest for a beginner the same 2 sets I suggest to all my students. The Radiant RW Set and the Llewellyn Classic Kit. Instead of looking at gifting a deck, look at is as gifting the entire package of deck and excellent companion book. Between the book and the deck it is easy to learn the tarot at least to gain an idea of how it all works. They are excellent books. Once the recipient receives one of these sets, they'll be able to make more informed decisions on their next deck that they will buy. Your gift is more than just a deck, it is a start on the journey of the tarot.
Aldor44 Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 I agree with what @Saturn Celeste has said It is not the deck but the energy you transfer via your intention and that fact that you spend your money and time thinking and purchasing the deck ( i.e. more energy). No one has ever gifted me a deck but on one of my sessions I just FELT I should gift my friend a certain card ( "Trust" from the Osho Zen Tarot) he carried it for a long period of time and was elated... So for me it is all about the energy. As for the suggestion for the deck- On the one hand getting a "basic" deck with a good companion is practical on the other- if you FEEL that the deck you have mentioned is a good fit- I would get it. He can always find material on line or even buy a good beginner book on kindle or something for a few $.... Those are my 2 cents
zedekiel Posted November 29, 2019 Author Posted November 29, 2019 Thank you both @Saturn Celeste and @Aldor44! On 11/25/2019 at 1:04 AM, Aldor44 said: As for the suggestion for the deck- On the one hand getting a "basic" deck with a good companion is practical on the other- if you FEEL that the deck you have mentioned is a good fit- I would get it. He can always find material on line or even buy a good beginner book on kindle or something for a few $.... You are quite right on that! I wouldn't even be playing with this idea if it weren't for the fact that I got such a strong feeling that this specific deck would fit him. I think if I do, I will offer him guidance on good resources to look into, and even offer meeting up to discuss things if he (or both of us) is stuck on something!
gregory Posted November 29, 2019 Posted November 29, 2019 1 hour ago, zedekiel said: Thank you both @Saturn Celeste and @Aldor44! You are quite right on that! I wouldn't even be playing with this idea if it weren't for the fact that I got such a strong feeling that this specific deck would fit him. I think if I do, I will offer him guidance on good resources to look into, and even offer meeting up to discuss things if he (or both of us) is stuck on something! This is crucial. A gut feeling like that about someone you know needs to be listened to. And - well, my second ever deck was a Thoth. I bought it for myself, - but - I knew NOTHING about it, and didn't read up at the time. But the images in it and trying to see what they were getting at was what TOTALLY hooked me on Tarot. The Smith/Waite and its variants would not have done it. (and the 1JJ hadn't, either !)
reall Posted November 29, 2019 Posted November 29, 2019 On 11/24/2019 at 7:13 PM, Saturn Celeste said: Sure you can gift him a deck because it is the gift that counts. Not the deck. But I do suggest for a beginner the same 2 sets I suggest to all my students. The Radiant RW Set and the Llewellyn Classic Kit. Instead of looking at gifting a deck, look at is as gifting the entire package of deck and excellent companion book. Between the book and the deck it is easy to learn the tarot at least to gain an idea of how it all works. They are excellent books. Once the recipient receives one of these sets, they'll be able to make more informed decisions on their next deck that they will buy. Your gift is more than just a deck, it is a start on the journey of the tarot. I secon this! Deck & book is Best!:D & i've just got best gift Ever & totally recommend ; also android app may be good idea as you get free book And deck & readings for only few $ can check are you into it then you can decide if you wish full deck?:) my fav Shadowscapes but also C'M And https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.foolsdog.tabulamundi
Annabelle Posted November 29, 2019 Posted November 29, 2019 On 11/23/2019 at 1:18 PM, leroidetrèfle said: One thing I would say is to avoid any themed deck, even if it an interest of the intended recipient. I like cats; I would not say I like cat-tarots. Consequently, a standard pattern is perhaps best: Grimaud Marseille or Smith-Waite. I don't agree that the Thoth is too difficult for neophytes. It depends on the neophyte. .... A neutral choice would be a set of playing-cards. There are very nice ones available. Agreed on all counts! Gifting someone one of the "standard" decks such as a RWS or TdM is better than going with a themed deck. Playing cards are a nice choice, too, if the recipient's interest is in fortune-telling but not necessarily, specifically on learning to read tarot.
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