The Music of Symph

[Symph]

Alright so I honestly am quite nervous to even just do this....  I've talked a little about how rocky my relationship to my past musical works has been and how I'm trying to get over it and stop seeing myself as inadequate or not living up to my potential musically.  I have this thing where I don't want anyone to see my creations from the past and keep saying "I'll make an album that doesn't have any big flaws and THEN I'll share my music" However I recently had a reading done in the triple exchange forum, and I believe it was @Aldor44 who said it was time I released old material.  I keep ignoring this and it's time to stop.  

 

Now obviously this is not "releasing" the material, to do that will require promotion and putting it on a site like bandcamp or spotify, but that's just more than I can handle right now so I figured step one is just create a thread where I share songs/videos I used to make.  I might even make another thread to share my old vlogs I just... I don't want to embellish how I feel or act falsely humble, I have a strange mixture of feeling very proud of all I used to do, and yet this other part of me that is ashamed of it it's hard to explain, I think my songs are too "cute" or something, or at least I expect them to be (I won't even watch these videos to see if they still make me cringe), so it's time to make peace with the past, I have seen how wonderful all you people are, so if there's anyone to start sharing this stuff with I think you're the right group to do it with.  So if you follow this thread, I will try to share a new song every few days or so, and maybe you guys can even help me decide which ones should go on the album I try to promote (Not the one I'm working on, but the one I assimilate from my old material as Aldor said I should). 

 

I'm trying to take the Tarot's advice it's just tough haha, so without further adieu, here's the first song, it's called "Eaten By a Big Gorilla".  

 

@AeonHorus @DanielJUK tagging you guys since you also gave me a music reading, @peacefulocean @xTheHermitx @Arch just cause I have a feeling you guys might want to be a part of this thread I consider you some of my closest friends here.  

 

 

[AeonHorus]

Very noice mate 

I really like it ....

Very Nine Inch Nails meets Psychedelic prog rock.

This would go down well in England on the underground party scene and festival scene. 

That I do know. 

 

You know sometimes with our own art we can be too self criticising trying for that element of perfection that no one but you cares about lol

Most people who listen to music don't hear all the nuances that like you do. 

And you have to remember also that with your style of music 75% of your listeners will be 🤪 trashed 60% of the times that they hear your tunes 🤩

[Symph]

31 minutes ago, AeonHorus said:

Very noice mate 

I really like it ....

Very Nine Inch Nails meets Psychedelic prog rock.

This would go down well in England on the underground party scene and festival scene. 

That I do know. 

 

You know sometimes with our own art we can be too self criticising trying for that element of perfection that no one but you cares about lol

Most people who listen to music don't hear all the nuances that like you do. 

And you have to remember also that with your style of music 75% of your listeners will be 🤪 trashed 60% of the times that they hear your tunes 🤩

bwahahaha I liked that last part.  I do know this, I've had many people try to convince me, that's why I said I didn't want to be falsely modest but at the same time I really do have a weird complex, it's like these two sides of myself warring with each other, one knows that I should just get out there and show people what I do and where I'm at, and this other listens to voices from the past, mother, ex girlfriends, old producers....  I gotta get the old voices to shut up so I can just appreciate what I do for what it is.  The fact that I've hidden it away for so long doesn't help so... this is the first step right?  Thanks for listening and saying that, I think the more I just show people the more I'll snap out of this sillyness and start going for it again.  

[AeonHorus]

13 minutes ago, Symph said:

I think the more I just show people

NIKE!

[Symph]

1 minute ago, AeonHorus said:

NIKE!

I was so confused at first but yes that's exactly it, JUST DO IT.....   To be honest this was NOT the best candidate for a first song but it just stuck out to me when I was scrolling and I was like "don't overthink it just DO IT!!!"  So yeah, that is my new motto lol

[AeonHorus]

Hahaha yeah man you got it 😉 

[Wanderer]

This is great, @Symph! The beauty of music is that it's so eclectic, but there's no such thing as superiority. This isn't my particular favourite style, but even so, it's great fun - I love the slightly kookie songs (They Might be Giants... ), and this definitely fits the bill - especially with that video! 🤪😁

 

Well done on getting the courage to put this up, too! I know what that's like, as I make a living mostly as a busker during the summer, and have put together one and a half albums that I do occasionally sell... but getting the confidence to play in public was no easy feat. Now it's second nature, though, and I've come to realise that no music will ever appeal to everyone, but all music will appeal to someone. The best you can be at this lark is unashamedly yourself - and be proud of it!  

[Endy]

@Symph, this is awesome! Thank you for sharing this with us! It's very catchy and I love the beat.

 

You are very talented! 🙂

[Symph]

3 hours ago, Wanderer said:

This is great, @Symph! The beauty of music is that it's so eclectic, but there's no such thing as superiority. This isn't my particular favourite style, but even so, it's great fun - I love the slightly kookie songs (They Might be Giants... ), and this definitely fits the bill - especially with that video! 🤪😁

 

Well done on getting the courage to put this up, too! I know what that's like, as I make a living mostly as a busker during the summer, and have put together one and a half albums that I do occasionally sell... but getting the confidence to play in public was no easy feat. Now it's second nature, though, and I've come to realise that no music will ever appeal to everyone, but all music will appeal to someone. The best you can be at this lark is unashamedly yourself - and be proud of it!  

Riiiight, well and I admittedly used to be quite arrogant about my talent, but I realized it and then felt really ashamed.  Now I think I've swung too far in the other direction, I'm terrified of being arrogant again so I focus on the worst aspects of my talents or songs and go "oh man that's not good enough" because I'm scared to allow myself to go "no this is really cool".  My wife has been trying to get me to see this for a while she's just been like "I promise you, you're NOT becoming arrogant..." lol  I want to busk but I would have to drive an hour out to chicago to do it and it would require a license, plus the idea of Chicago just scares me, heard so many stories about people getting robbed/shot there.  I'd love to hear some of your music sometime!  

3 hours ago, Endy said:

@Symph, this is awesome! Thank you for sharing this with us! It's very catchy and I love the beat.

 

You are very talented! 🙂

Thank you!  I have a lot more I'm gonna try to at least share a couple of songs a week or something like that.  Gotta stop keeping all this to myself.  Thanks for listening 🙂

[gregory]

13 hours ago, AeonHorus said:

Very noice mate 

I really like it ....

Very Nine Inch Nails meets Psychedelic prog rock.

This would go down well in England on the underground party scene and festival scene. 

That I do know. 

He's right. It would. Release it and see what happens. Good luck.

[Symph]

2 minutes ago, gregory said:

He's right. It would. Release it and see what happens. Good luck.

Alright... I'll look into how to do this and tell you guys how it goes...  😬

[Wanderer]

1 hour ago, Symph said:

Riiiight, well and I admittedly used to be quite arrogant about my talent, but I realized it and then felt really ashamed.  Now I think I've swung too far in the other direction, I'm terrified of being arrogant again so I focus on the worst aspects of my talents or songs and go "oh man that's not good enough" because I'm scared to allow myself to go "no this is really cool".  My wife has been trying to get me to see this for a while she's just been like "I promise you, you're NOT becoming arrogant..." lol  I want to busk but I would have to drive an hour out to chicago to do it and it would require a license, plus the idea of Chicago just scares me, heard so many stories about people getting robbed/shot there.  I'd love to hear some of your music sometime!  

5 hours ago, Endy said:

 

Sounds about right - on all counts! 😁

Busking's not that bad once you take the plunge, though, and surely there's a smaller town closer to you than Chicago? You get fewer people, but if it's more relaxed then it can work even better - at least, that's how it works out over here. Sometimes you just have to leap in and try... but you've probably been hearing that a lot lately! 

(For your amusement... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bt7qv9Sufac)

[gregory]

1 hour ago, Symph said:

Alright... I'll look into how to do this and tell you guys how it goes...  😬

Just put that one on youtube and see what happens.... As a taster.

[Symph]

6 minutes ago, Wanderer said:

Sounds about right - on all counts! 😁

Busking's not that bad once you take the plunge, though, and surely there's a smaller town closer to you than Chicago? You get fewer people, but if it's more relaxed then it can work even better - at least, that's how it works out over here. Sometimes you just have to leap in and try... but you've probably been hearing that a lot lately! 

(For your amusement... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bt7qv9Sufac)

You didn't write that did you?  It was beeeeeeaaaautifullllll!!!!!  I just sat down and closed my eyes and just felt so calm and serene, very Lord of the Rings kind of feeling, I couldn't make out all the lyrics but what I could was really cool.   Thank you for sharing that with me!!  And yes omg the message on EVERYTHING lately from Tarot, to making friends, to making music has been "jump in and do the scary thing", well I can't do them all at once! hahaha But I am definitely taking steps, my family has been telling me to sell my old material for a long time and I just kept insisting it wasn't ready, so for me to finally agree to try is a big step.  I suppose the next one will be entering the exchanges again eh?  I had said I might need a month, I'll make it a week hehehe you guys have convinced me I just gotta do it. 🙂

[Symph]

2 minutes ago, gregory said:

Just put that one on youtube and see what happens.... As a taster.

Oh it's already on youtube, I put it up years ago, got about 300 views I believe, I was growing quite a following, almost reached 1000 subscribers, then I wigged out because I felt all this pressure and some other things happened I won't go into and I disappeared.  The longer I've stay away the more my fear of going back has been.  It's like being secluded longer and longer causes more and more anxiety, and the anxiety causes seclusion, vicious cycle but as you can see I really am forcing myself to get over it.  It's definitely time.  

[Wanderer]

3 minutes ago, Symph said:

You didn't write that did you?  It was beeeeeeaaaautifullllll!!!!!  I just sat down and closed my eyes and just felt so calm and serene, very Lord of the Rings kind of feeling, I couldn't make out all the lyrics but what I could was really cool.   Thank you for sharing that with me!! 

Thank you!   No, I'm afraid I didn't write it (although it's my arrangement; aka I don't read music, so just improvise around the melody! ); it's a Ramin Djawadi composition for Game of Thrones. I'm mostly a traditional folk performer, so it's usually (very) old stuff. I do a few of my own compositions as well, though... for example, this is one I wrote LOTR years before the films came out! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4Wytc-q69I Haven't managed to write my own songs, though - just put a few poems to music.

3 minutes ago, Symph said:

And yes omg the message on EVERYTHING lately from Tarot, to making friends, to making music has been "jump in and do the scary thing", well I can't do them all at once! hahaha But I am definitely taking steps, my family has been telling me to sell my old material for a long time and I just kept insisting it wasn't ready, so for me to finally agree to try is a big step.  I suppose the next one will be entering the exchanges again eh?  I had said I might need a month, I'll make it a week hehehe you guys have convinced me I just gotta do it. 🙂

Brilliant! And remember you have the power to pause if anything gets too much - it's all in your control... which hopefully means you'll feel more confident in taking the plunge! 

[Arch]

18 hours ago, Symph said:

just cause I have a feeling you guys might want to be a part of this thread I consider you some of my closest friends here.

I'm honored to be called a friend 🙂

I felt a bit tentative about listening to the music, as I struggle with being way too honest for my own good.

But luckily you had a catchy tune so that worked itself out. 😉

 

I'm no expert on anything musical or what is good video production, so my opinion is purely from an amateur frame.

Music was catchy, the gitar riffs was cool, and the video was trippy and all over the place.

I still sense the raw realness that I've mentioned to you before,

I can see it in your body language where you try to express what you are really feeling inside when you are singing.

Obviously that will put off people who isn't connected to their feelings in the same way.

I've told you before that I myself wear many masks, and I myself find your visual rawness a little scary.

Cause there is almost a emotional nakedness there, like you are trying to bear your emotions and soul to the world.

 

Symbolically the Gorilla theme is interesting, but I won't go too deep into interpretation,

as it is bound to be more subjective than descriptive.

[Symph]

 

10 hours ago, Wanderer said:

Thank you!   No, I'm afraid I didn't write it (although it's my arrangement; aka I don't read music, so just improvise around the melody! ); it's a Ramin Djawadi composition for Game of Thrones. I'm mostly a traditional folk performer, so it's usually (very) old stuff. I do a few of my own compositions as well, though... for example, this is one I wrote LOTR years before the films came out! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4Wytc-q69I Haven't managed to write my own songs, though - just put a few poems to music.

Brilliant! And remember you have the power to pause if anything gets too much - it's all in your control... which hopefully means you'll feel more confident in taking the plunge! 

That song was hauntingly beautiful, I mean that, I find you to be such a fascinating individual now Wanderer!  To play the harp like that, and read the Tarot like you do, I swear I have met some of the neatest people through this forum...  And thank you for all the encouraging words, my confidence is rising very fast now.  I think getting a job that pays well, being around people every day, and then having this forum on top of it have all just come together to help me finally come out of my shell again.  I'm excited for the future.  

 

7 hours ago, Arch said:

I'm honored to be called a friend 🙂

I felt a bit tentative about listening to the music, as I struggle with being way too honest for my own good.

But luckily you had a catchy tune so that worked itself out. 😉

 

I'm no expert on anything musical or what is good video production, so my opinion is purely from an amateur frame.

Music was catchy, the gitar riffs was cool, and the video was trippy and all over the place.

I still sense the raw realness that I've mentioned to you before,

I can see it in your body language where you try to express what you are really feeling inside when you are singing.

Obviously that will put off people who isn't connected to their feelings in the same way.

I've told you before that I myself wear many masks, and I myself find your visual rawness a little scary.

Cause there is almost a emotional nakedness there, like you are trying to bear your emotions and soul to the world.

 

Symbolically the Gorilla theme is interesting, but I won't go too deep into interpretation,

as it is bound to be more subjective than descriptive.

Now that I think about it, I certainly hope it doesn't sound like I'm saying others on here aren't my close friends I just.. have this fear that tagging some people would be bothering them with something they don't care about.  But I felt comfortable tagging you because right from the beginning you and I have had some very real conversations and I feel like you've opened up to me about quite a few things, we also seem to relate well to each other's struggles so I just felt comfortable tagging you.  Now that I think about it... @katrinka might also be interested to hear this, I just didn't wanna bug her LOL  But I know she digs old school music and Zeppelin and stuff so... Hi Katrinka, I tagged you lol.  

               Honestly I think your comment was really cool, I too have trouble not being really honest when people show me their work, I just don't have it in me to pretend to like things I don't and have a very critical ear/eye.  But you really hit the nail on the head, I think it is my "raw realness" that is greatly adding to all this anxiety.  I just don't know how else to be, I have no acceptable mask to put on, but I can see how most others do and it makes me feel weird.  It's almost necessary to fit in in society to have a bit of distance between you and others, a social facade that doesn't freak people out but I don't have one.  I don't have one in my music, don't have one in my way of talking/carrying myself, and I think if I don't start loving this about myself I'm just gonna keep feeling bad for being this way and keep being nervous all the time.  It's happening though. 🙂

               As far as the gorilla imagery, I'm curious what you felt/thought, I was honestly just writing whatever popped in my head, I thought the random imagery was fun and funny and then to end each phrase with "eaten by a big GORILLA!!!!!"  had this trippy/funny affect where it almost seems like it means something but also seems as random as it really is.  It has no deeper meaning that I am conscious of, but I am aware that sometimes the subconscious pulls things out the conscious doesn't know about.  Anyway, thanks for listening.  

 

And Katrinka, sorry if I'm bugging you!  😅

           

[Symph]

Dude... I have to say something I forgot about.  I just saw my "festivity is shooting out of my facehole" video on youtube and realized I've already shared a song with you guys with a video.  I knew I had shared a newer one from my soundcloud but it had no video and it was current so it didn't make me as nervous, I had thought I'd never showed you guys any of my old VIDEOS where you can actually see me dancing and lip syncing (the part that makes me so nervous even though it's so fun) but I HAVE, I was just quite tipsy when I did, that's why I had the guts to do it, that's also why I FORGOT I DID IT.  LMAOOOOOOO  So... anyone who saw that other video, if I seem like I'm being redundant, it's cause I am.  I FORGOT I showed that other video!  Ugh... I gotta stop posting when I'm drunk... no wait let's rephrase that, I gotta stop getting drunk.  Oh whatever, it is what it is lol

[Arch]

@Symph

Btw I find that the songs by the band Gorillaz take on a whole other meaning to me after pondering your song.

 

 

[katrinka]

7 hours ago, Symph said:

Now that I think about it... @katrinka might also be interested to hear this, I just didn't wanna bug her LOL  But I know she digs old school music and Zeppelin and stuff so... Hi Katrinka, I tagged you lol. 

OK, I'm here. 
It's actually not bad. But if you're going for weirdness, allow me to suggest that you lean this way:

 

Ol' Kartinka is a fool for drums. Can you make it more like this? 

Moon the Loon has long since shuffled off this mortal coil, but HOT DAMN, this was sublime. I've been dazzled since 7th grade. ❤️ Please tell your drummer to try harder! He won't get there -NOBODY can touch Moon, Bonham, or Mitchell AFAIC- but drums are important. A lot of people tend to overlook that and make drummer jokes, and the world is a sadder, more boring place for that.

But yeah...it may sound critical, but I'm just tossing ideas out there. I think you have something here. It just needs some pizzazz.
 

[AeonHorus]

27 minutes ago, katrinka said:

Ol' Kartinka is a ......

Butthole Surfers 😜

 

Now! It all makes sense ✊

 

My personal favourite! 

 

 

[AeonHorus]

The Buttholes had two drummers too.  

[katrinka]

*fistbump* 

Hey Aeon, I'm 50 miles south of Austin here. Gibby! Roky (RIP). Doug and his kids. All of 'em. ❤️

[AeonHorus]

Ha! Nice. 

Tiz one of my little life regrets that I never got to see them play live. 

They are still going though right ?