evasagittarius Posted August 9, 2021 Posted August 9, 2021 When I read for myself I feel confident that I and the cards both know what and who we are taking about, and the answers come out coherent to my situation. But when I read for others it seems I might just be reading for myself again... I've read for myself countless times but only read a handful of times for friends. I was never able to feel sure that the answers matched their situation, and twice it actually seemed obvious that the cards ended up referring to my situation, not theirs. When I read for others I think about them and their questions. I've tried letting them shuffle and cut, or shuffling myself letting them cut. The querents have all been my friends or lovers too, so it shouldn't be hard for me to focus on them during the reading... Do you have any tips on how to ensure the reading does not become about me ?
euripides Posted August 9, 2021 Posted August 9, 2021 I usually use a different deck, and find that helps a lot. Also I like to chat with them a bit about what's on their mind. You might find it useful to use a significator if you don't already.
Wyrdkiss Posted August 11, 2021 Posted August 11, 2021 Greetings, Have you considered doing some readings for people that you do not know quite so well? Individuals you trust to read for, but perhaps some acquaintances of your friends and lovers?
DanielJUK Posted August 11, 2021 Posted August 11, 2021 I recommend setting an intention as you do your reading. Who is this reading for? When I was about a year into learning tarot, I did a reading for someone in a circle exchange and the reading was really for me! It was so embarrassing and only realised it was a reading for me 2 months later! Since that reading disaster I always say or think of a name during the reading or shuffling, this is a reading for "name", name of the friends or online forum name. Just some sort of reference to them and not me. I say or think something like "this is a reading for *name* and their question / topic is....." whilst shuffling and before dealing. So I am linking it to them. I have never had this problem again since I started doing that. @Wyrdkiss is totally right about how well you know someone. I find it really hard to read for people I know well because everyone knows each other in our social group, it feels a bit too close! It's easier to read for someone you don't know at all! have a go at our monthly reading circles sometime, you read for people you don't know at all and would be great way to practice your readings for others and trying to get the right reading for the right person.
HOLMES Posted August 11, 2021 Posted August 11, 2021 I actually read better for those i don't know i find. That way i don't worry about if i am using my knowledge instead of actually reading the cards. Hence i point to the reading for others section or perhaps give a take on a post in your personal readings. The thing to remember is we are the filter so information will come through our own knowledge like songs we know, movies we saw. So we have to share of our selves. It helps me to ground, before hand and seek to be impartial.
Nisaba Posted August 12, 2021 Posted August 12, 2021 On 8/9/2021 at 9:50 PM, evasagittarius said: When I read for myself I feel confident that I and the cards both know what and who we are taking about, and the answers come out coherent to my situation. But when I read for others it seems I might just be reading for myself again... I've read for myself countless times but only read a handful of times for friends. I was never able to feel sure that the answers matched their situation, and twice it actually seemed obvious that the cards ended up referring to my situation, not theirs. When I read for others I think about them and their questions. I've tried letting them shuffle and cut, or shuffling myself letting them cut. The querents have all been my friends or lovers too, so it shouldn't be hard for me to focus on them during the reading... Do you have any tips on how to ensure the reading does not become about me ? I kinda have the opposite problem. I find it hard to read for people I know, and VERY hard to read for myself. When I read for strangers, all I have is the pictures in front of me and raw intuition. When I read for my friends I have their backstories, so my noisy mind tries to make each image about my own perceptions of them, and drowns out the real, quieter intuitions. With myself, I have a whole world of backstory, and can't make much sense out of the cards at all! Sure, I can easily - too easily - hammer them into my perceptions of my own life, but that usually turns out to be quite different to what they were actually trying to tell me. And I couldn't hear it because of all the backstory.
evasagittarius Posted August 13, 2021 Author Posted August 13, 2021 On 8/11/2021 at 5:59 PM, Wyrdkiss said: Greetings, Have you considered doing some readings for people that you do not know quite so well? Individuals you trust to read for, but perhaps some acquaintances of your friends and lovers? Hey, I haven't! I guess I'm feeling insecure about it. Maybe if I'd find someone who isn't too sceptical about it, so they'd understand even if it doesn't work out.
MuninnMissinHuginn Posted August 13, 2021 Posted August 13, 2021 1 hour ago, evasagittarius said: Hey, I haven't! I guess I'm feeling insecure about it. Maybe if I'd find someone who isn't too sceptical about it, so they'd understand even if it doesn't work out. Perhaps the querent’s skepticism is not for the card reader worry about as it is not under the reader’s control. @HOLMES said the reader is the filter, and I add the image of the reader standing, hand out, welcoming the querent to walk through the door. Perhaps the card reader’s job is to open the door wide and not stand in the way of the querent. Meaning that if “it doesn’t work out” is not always a reflection of the reader’s skills but of the querent’s reception.
Dixiechick80 Posted August 17, 2021 Posted August 17, 2021 On 8/9/2021 at 7:50 AM, evasagittarius said: When I read for myself I feel confident that I and the cards both know what and who we are taking about, and the answers come out coherent to my situation. But when I read for others it seems I might just be reading for myself again... I've read for myself countless times but only read a handful of times for friends. I was never able to feel sure that the answers matched their situation, and twice it actually seemed obvious that the cards ended up referring to my situation, not theirs. When I read for others I think about them and their questions. I've tried letting them shuffle and cut, or shuffling myself letting them cut. The querents have all been my friends or lovers too, so it shouldn't be hard for me to focus on them during the reading... Do you have any tips on how to ensure the reading does not become about me ? One of the rituals/practices that I do before a reading is that I ground myself by connecting to the energy in the Earth's core. Then, I think not only about the question but if I know the person, I bring their image to my mind's eye -- their body movements, words that they say. I basically channel their energy when I ask the question. It helps greatly with reading the cards that come out because I'm tapped into their energy.
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