How to ask/write a "good or correct" question as a querent? if reading for self or asking a reader..

[Strength8]

Hi,

I struggle with coming up with the "correct verbiage" when it comes to asking/posing a question in Tarot readings?

Any suggestions/input/advice is welcome and appreciated...

Any examples of questions are welcome..like, comparing "muddled question" to rephrasing it kind of example

Thank you in advance! 🙂 

 

edit: I always think of Rodney (I think it was Rodney) who said "garbage in garbage out" to some of the questions posed (I believe it was my post and he was helping out); it always makes me smile and I try to keep what he said in mind, but still struggling..

 

Edited March 31, 2023 by Strength8

[Chariot]

I think it always helps not to ask a question that requires a direct 'prediction'—Questions like will I win the lottery this week, will I get that job I just applied for, etc.

 

Instead, try to re-phrase the question, to something like:  What attitude is most helpful for me to adopt, regarding my lottery ticket?  And etc.  Or: How should I prepare for the news about that job I just applied for?  What can I do to better my chances in a job interview, if I'm offered one?

Or you can ask for information along the lines of: 'what do I need to I know about....whatever the topic?  Or 'what am I missing when it comes to this relationship?'

In other words, try to turn the question from a yes/no prediction over to a 'how should I handle or prepare for whatever the outcome of this event might be?
 
It is usually more helpful, in general, to ask questions that will help the Seeker understand how a situation stands now, rather than being told the outcome, but not understanding what caused it.  Sometimes the outcome WILL become apparent during this kind of reading, but it won't be a dead end.  Give the Seeker tools to deal with the issue, whatever the outcome.

In every reading I do, I always draw an 'advice' card and incorporate it into the spread.  That is often the most helpful card of all, because it gives me (or the Seeker) something to do, or an attitude to take that will be beneficial to the situation.

Edited March 31, 2023 by Chariot

[Raggydoll]

I think this will depend on the reader and what their style is. I personally like to lay out multiple cards in a row, to show me what is going on in a situation or how something will unfold. You can get specific and add parameters, like timeframes, but the more practiced you get, you can be more fluid - or at least that is my experience!
 

Also, consider what deck you’re using. Is it able to present clear scenarios for you when you lay out multiple cards?

 

I do think it is helpful, whenever you’re unsure about a question, to consider the way that tarot tends to communicate with you. Picture different cards and their interpretations in your mind and contemplate whether your question could be answered by those cards in a meaningful way. At least that is a technique which works for me, you may be different. Not everyone is as visual.
 

I think that ultimately, gaining more experience with tarot readings is what will improve this for you. 

[Mister]

Yay - Rooster-Rider for diversity!

 

The following is based on face-to-face predictive reads.

Serves well enough as disclaimer, no?

 

As to the questions: As direct as possible it is, in alignment with your hopes and whishes.

As for learning: Drive ante up to max, the point where you get fidgety and wonder "Should I really ask this?" -

Then dare to answer, right or wrong.

Observe how things play out - that way, you will get quite saddlefast if you keep at it over the course of a year.

 

Now, an example:

Say, you worry to loose your job.

 

Worst thing to do is go roundabout in the style of: "How will my financial situation develop".

It leaves to much of a margin to pinpoint if you would loose that job, for example: you may keep the job, but your finances still take a hit because of whatever else - or, you may loose the job, find a new one, better paid real quick and unexpectedly, your finances thrive.

 

Another possibility: You loose it, your grandfather gets a heart-attack because of the shock, dies off and you inherit a not so small fortune.

With the above question, the cards may well have read: "Your financial situation will improve mighty-big time."

 

Next up would be: "Will I loose my job?"

Actually, I do take those questions as is.

But:

That is not what I ask my cards!

While shuffling, I focus on the following:

"Will X keep her job?"

 

That way, I ensure the Sun says "Yes, no need to worry". Hermit says "be careful", Devil denies - in short, positive cards stand for a positive development, negative ones for the opposite - positive and negative (here) as according to the set of meanings I employ (and my head stays clear from confusion).

 

For you, @Strength8, your set should apply.

[Misterei]

12 hours ago, Mister said:

Next up would be: "Will I loose my job?"

Actually, I do take those questions as is.

But:

That is not what I ask my cards!

While shuffling, I focus on the following:

"Will X keep her job?"

 

That way, I ensure the Sun says "Yes, no need to worry". Hermit says "be careful", Devil denies - in short, positive cards stand for a positive development, negative ones for the opposite - positive and negative (here) as according to the set of meanings I employ (and my head stays clear from confusion).

Yes, I apply a similar process as @Mister.  I don't mind a yes/no question ... if it makes sense to ask it that way.

That being said ... I almost ALWAYS start with a general "open" spread to get the whole vibe before going into specifics. I can do this b/c my minimum booking is 30 mins with many clients taking 45 mins or 60 mins. We have plenty of time to go general AND specific. I only go to specific yes/no AFTER this general vibe spread.

[trivialuvs]

I'm actually planning a future blog post making a big list of open ended questions, a way to keep them in mind for myself and maybe help others. I'm going to keep an eye on this thread for future references, as I am horrible at coming up with a anything on the spot.

[Raggydoll]

I think that whenever you rephrase a question you need to make sure that it is for the purpose of getting an even more relevant and precise answer to the question asked! I feel that many readers do the exact opposite and rephrase it so much that the querent isn’t going to get what they came for. And that’s not okay, if you ask me. I think that it’s better to refuse a reading than to rework it in a way that doesn’t align with the querent’s expectations. It’s basically bad business because it sets you up for having dissatisfied clients.
 

I do realize that this thread is about readings where you yourself is the client. In those cases, make sure your question/spread positions will allow you to find out what it is you want to know!

Edited April 2, 2023 by Raggydoll

[Mister]

44 minutes ago, Raggydoll said:

I feel that many readers do the exact opposite and rephrase it so much that the querent isn’t going to get what they came for.

 

This is strange, @Raggydoll.

You know what?

I have no idea where it stems from, but somehow, I can relate to that "feel" big time.

🤔

😁

 

47 minutes ago, Raggydoll said:

make sure your question/spread positions will allow you to find out what it is you want to know!

I may be mistaken - on the off-chance that I'm not, here goes:

 

It just might be considered well-advised to do that anyway, reading for yourself as well as for others.

Call it a hunch.

 

😉

[Strength8]

9 hours ago, Raggydoll said:

I think that whenever you rephrase a question you need to make sure that it is for the purpose of getting an even more relevant and precise answer to the question asked! I feel that many readers do the exact opposite and rephrase it so much that the querent isn’t going to get what they came for.

Thank you for saying this @Raggydoll because that has happened to me where I paid for the reading(s) and did not get any clarity. whatsoever because reader rephrased it to something else entirely.

On 4/1/2023 at 4:39 AM, Mister said:

As for learning: Drive ante up to max, the point where you get fidgety and wonder "Should I really ask this?" -

Then dare to answer, right or wrong.

Observe how things play out - that way, you will get quite saddlefast if you keep at it over the course of a year.

@Mister okay, that makes sense and I do hesitate many times when asking questions. I need to start taking notes on how things play out (I think about it but don't always write it out). Your example is very helpful for my learning! Thank you for taking the time

 

18 hours ago, Misterei said:

I don't mind a yes/no question ... if it makes sense to ask it that way.

@Misterei this is good to know because I have read a lot about tarot not answering yes/no questions so now even when I ask these questions I don't place much value to the answer given, if that makes sense

 

On 3/31/2023 at 8:21 AM, Raggydoll said:

You can get specific and add parameters, like timeframes, but the more practiced you get, you can be more fluid - or at least that is my experience!

Thank you for sharing your experience @Raggydoll and do you have your own system for timeframes? do you use separate deck for timeframes?

 

On 3/31/2023 at 6:53 AM, Chariot said:

It is usually more helpful, in general, to ask questions that will help the Seeker understand how a situation stands now, rather than being told the outcome, but not understanding what caused it.  Sometimes the outcome WILL become apparent during this kind of reading, but it won't be a dead end.  Give the Seeker tools to deal with the issue, whatever the outcome.

In every reading I do, I always draw an 'advice' card and incorporate it into the spread.  That is often the most helpful card of all, because it gives me (or the Seeker) something to do, or an attitude to take that will be beneficial to the situation.

thank you for detailed answer @Chariot I am definitely trying to use/incorporate advice card in my personal readings now a days too and you are right it adds a layer for action/inaction about the situation

 

[Misterei]

4 hours ago, Strength8 said:

... I have read a lot about tarot not answering yes/no questions so now even when I ask these questions I don't place much value to the answer given, if that makes sense

@Strength8 Tarot's new popularity has given rise to LOADS of so-called tarot gurus and tarot influencers and tarot content creators who are really good as social media but actually know f&ckall about tarot. Ahem.

Whilst its true that Tarot can be a tad complex for a simple yes/no question ... overkill really ... most experienced and authentic readers CAN answer a yes/no question and have techniques for this. If I told my clients they could never ask yes/no questions (when it makes sense to do so) they would leave my business ... and rightly so.

[Guest]

I know this is a very personal-approach thing, but I don't use tarot for predictions, for myself or anyone else. So I favour requests for guidance, suggestions for potential courses of action, assistance with clarity and understanding etc.

 

"How might I understand this situation more clearly?"

"How could I approach this situation more constructively?"

"Give me guidance for handling this situation"

...etc

 

I avoid anything that's intended to look into a third party's motivations or actions, so no "Will my ex come back to me?" or "Does the woman I like find me attractive?" or "Will my boss sack me?"

 

I also tend to use less structured spreads, so I'm aware that my whole approach is maybe more organic than people who use strictly structured spreads and not everyone is going to vibe with that 😊

Edited April 8, 2023 by SunriseAndCinnamon

[gregory]

One thing - make very sure you actually want to know the answer, even if it may be unpleasant for you. Too many people come up with a question and then are pole-axed when they get an answer that really upsets them, and try to blame the reader.

 

My big one - never ask a question that has an assumption in it. "When will he leave his wife ?" "When will I meet my future husband ?" Maybe that isn't going to happen - so how can you get an answer that means something ?

[Nemia]

Don't put two or more questions into one, it will muddle the answer (How will the job interview go and will I like the job?)

 

Don't ask "passive" questions where the querent has no influece over the matter (will X happen?)

 

Don't spy into other's people's feelings and don't disrespect their boundaries (Does he love me?)

 

Instead:

 

Ask what you want to know, ask for insight and background understanding, ask how  you can contribute to an outcome you wish for, and ask how you can make other people love you if that's what you want. 

 

Always assume that you have agency, and all you need to know is how to focus your energy to improve or shape the outcome. 

Edited April 8, 2023 by Nemia

[November]

Hi, I didn't read what the others said, but for me:

 

- Avoid yes/no questions, what if the answer is maybe? Tarots like to talk, so they won't give you just a simple yes or no. Instead of asking "will I find a job" rather ask "what can help me to find a job". 

- Don't make any assumption, for example a question like "when will I meet my next partner" doesn't work, what if you won't meet anyone? What if you're not ready and need to sort out other problems before that? So again better to rephrase the question and ask "what can I do to find a partner". 

- Don't ask many questions at the same time, otherwise you will get a confusing answer. The question must be one and very clear. 

 

I hope this helps, I remember how hard was for me too phrasing a right answer, but little by little I learned. 

[gregory]

Oh - another one. Don't suddenly decide that the answer you got from the cards/ reader is REALLY about another part of your life which happens to suit your POV better than accepting the answer is to the question you actually asked !

[Chariot]

11 hours ago, SunriseAndCinnamon said:

 

 

I also tend to use less structured spreads, so I'm aware that my whole approach is maybe more organic than people who use strictly structured spreads and not everyone is going to vibe with that 😊

I have only paid one time for a reading for myself, and the reader did exactly that.  I was familiar with the tarot myself, so I was curious about how she worked, but she worked so fast I could hardly follow. She shuffled the cards herself (I never touched them) and she just kept flapping cards down on the table, talking to me, asking questions, and giving me a stream of thoughts, more cards, etc.

I walked away from that reading with wobbly knees, because she was SO spot-on with absolutely everything she said, including her opening remark to me.  I never asked a question; she asked the question I wanted answered for me, without any prompting other than whatever she saw in the first couple of cards she laid down.  She was working so fast I can't even remember what cards they were, although I think one of them was the King of Swords. She predicted several situations and events that turned out to be totally true, and happened in the close time frame she said they would.  Even when I tried to say 'that probably won't happen because...' she went right over the top of me, and repeated her original statement. And it happened exactly as she said it would.  Everything.  She didn't get one thing wrong. She gave ages, professions, numbers ...dates.  It was one heck of a reading.

I wish I'd had the wit to ask her who she was, and how to contact her again—not for a reading, but just to tell her thank you, and tell her how it turned out.  And maybe find out what made her so good. It was at a group event that I was taken to by a friend, in another town, and I had no way of contacting the organisers afterwards.  In retrospect, I should have made the effort.

One of my life's big regrets. But I was so stunned by the experience I never thought to seize that moment.  This lady was sitting off apart from all the other readers, dressed in (I kid you not) a heather skirt and sweater set and a string of pearls. She looked like a librarian.  The other readers were all done up like Madam Swami ...heavy makeup, dangly earrings, etc.  My friend got one of those others, and all the things she predicted and talked about were a load of waffle and not even close to being true.

If I'd had any doubts about the power of the tarot before, they were certainly quashed after that session with that lady.  Yet it also made me beware a bit of the 'trappings' other readers sometimes take on.

 

Edited April 8, 2023 by Chariot

[Misterei]

On 4/8/2023 at 11:58 AM, Chariot said:

I walked away from that reading with wobbly knees, because she was SO spot-on with absolutely everything she said, ...
This lady was sitting off apart from all the other readers, dressed in (I kid you not) a heather skirt and sweater set and a string of pearls. She looked like a librarian.  The other readers were all done up like Madam Swami ...heavy makeup, dangly earrings, etc. 

LOL ... I would go for Madame Librarian too. She obviously can read cards without worrying about "looking the part".

[Strength8]

On 4/8/2023 at 1:58 PM, Chariot said:

I walked away from that reading with wobbly knees, because she was SO spot-on with absolutely everything she said, including her opening remark to me.  I never asked a question; she asked the question I wanted answered for me, without any prompting other than whatever she saw in the first couple of cards she laid down.  She was working so fast I can't even remember what cards they were, although I think one of them was the King of Swords. She predicted several situations and events that turned out to be totally true, and happened in the close time frame she said they would.  Even when I tried to say 'that probably won't happen because...' she went right over the top of me, and repeated her original statement. And it happened exactly as she said it would.  Everything.  She didn't get one thing wrong. She gave ages, professions, numbers ...dates.  It was one heck of a reading.

@Chariot That sounds like an incredible experience!! Thank you for sharing it 🙂 

On 4/8/2023 at 11:36 AM, gregory said:

Don't suddenly decide that the answer you got from the cards/ reader is REALLY about another part of your life which happens to suit your POV better than accepting the answer is to the question you actually asked !

@gregory that is really good point. I have done that (or tried to) in the past in my personal readings and it does not help Lol

 

On 4/8/2023 at 4:22 AM, November said:

Don't make any assumption, for example a question like "when will I meet my next partner" doesn't work, what if you won't meet anyone? What if you're not ready and need to sort out other problems before that? So again better to rephrase the question and ask "what can I do to find a partner". 

@November that is valid and it is easy to "slip" on that one as a new person exploring tarot

 

On 4/8/2023 at 3:57 AM, Nemia said:

Ask what you want to know, ask for insight and background understanding, ask how  you can contribute to an outcome you wish for, and ask how you can make other people love you if that's what you want. 

 

Always assume that you have agency, and all you need to know is how to focus your energy to improve or shape the outcome. 

 @Nemia Thank you for sharing this and how to rephrase questions.

 

On 4/8/2023 at 2:34 AM, SunriseAndCinnamon said:

I also tend to use less structured spreads, so I'm aware that my whole approach is maybe more organic than people who use strictly structured spreads and not everyone is going to vibe with that

 @SunriseAndCinnamon I do see your point. I think working with less structured comes with experience. I have tried it and I get lost easily with that approach as I am barely on first step of tarot

[Strength8]

A few of you amazing people have brought up a point (a really good point) about not making assumptions. So if it is a paid reading, how does a querent get the answer to what they really want answered and querent is paying for "one question only". For example, I know that I would like to know if: I will have my own house someday, have a partner someday, and so forth. So does it become two part question for the reader? Or does it become answering two questions (and paying for two questions)? Not sure if I am making sense when exploring this query here..

Many of you here are professional readers also, how do you manage such questions from querents? I do understand that not everyone uses tarot for predictions but  @Chariot's experience gives me hope that it is possible

[Chariot]

6 minutes ago, Strength8 said:

A few of you amazing people have brought up a point (a really good point) about not making assumptions. So if it is a paid reading, how does a querent get the answer to what they really want answered and querent is paying for "one question only". For example, I know that I would like to know if: I will have my own house someday, have a partner someday, and so forth. So does it become two part question for the reader? Or does it become answering two questions (and paying for two questions)? Not sure if I am making sense when exploring this query here..

Many of you here are professional readers also, how do you manage such questions from querents? I do understand that not everyone uses tarot for predictions but  @Chariot's experience gives me hope that it is possible

To be totally honest, in retrospect, I think I was dealing with somebody who was truly a psychic, and her power came from beyond the tarot.  It was the speed at which she worked that took me aback ...to the extent that even though I was familiar with the tarot, I could not follow how the cards were working.  And there was no discernible 'spread' as such.  She just kept laying down cards, gathering them up, and kept constantly shuffling.  She came to her answers at blistering speed ...and she had my question before I even asked it.  She wondered about a few aspects of my situation—mainly about my motivation for wanting these answers, and I felt she was listening intently to what I told her—but mostly she just talked, unprompted.  She felt totally benign to me, almost like a trusted relative or friend would feel ...and this all happened in the space of less than a half hour.  I still get goose bumps remembering the experience.  It was like nothing I'd ever imagined, and certainly well beyond my own adeptness with tarot cards.

[gregory]

5 hours ago, Strength8 said:

I have done that (or tried to) in the past in my personal readings and it does not help Lol

 

Too right ! That's why I don't read for myself. I KNOW I cheat !

[Raggydoll]

10 hours ago, Strength8 said:

A few of you amazing people have brought up a point (a really good point) about not making assumptions. So if it is a paid reading, how does a querent get the answer to what they really want answered and querent is paying for "one question only". For example, I know that I would like to know if: I will have my own house someday, have a partner someday, and so forth. So does it become two part question for the reader? Or does it become answering two questions (and paying for two questions)? Not sure if I am making sense when exploring this query here..

Many of you here are professional readers also, how do you manage such questions from querents? I do understand that not everyone uses tarot for predictions but  @Chariot's experience gives me hope that it is possible

Charging per question is not something I’ve ever done. Typically a situation is complex and a reading can explore many things in a persons life. I think it’s more useful to charge based on time or on how elaborate the reading is (for example, how many cards you used). 

[gregory]

@HOLMES charges by the number of cards, IIRC....

[RunningWild]

Learning to read one's self takes practice, IMO.  I had to learn to detach from the outcome.  I did that by writing the question out, rephrasing if I needed to for coherence, and doing the reading as if for someone else.  For some time, I kept notes until I didn't need to anymore.

 

Tarot can, and does, answer yes/no questions but tarot is chatty (again, IMO) so you basically get a "yes (or no) but..."

 

Practice, practice, practice.

 

Charging per number of cards?  Eek.  Charging for time?  Yes, which also avoids loads of local laws regarding "psychic readers."  I've only once stated a price for the number of cards coupled with one question and one follow up question.  The price I placed on it was intentionally obnoxious as it was an individual that I and several others had been reading for years for free who disregarded everything said and instead focused on their fantasy.  We also encouraged the individual to learn tarot themselves, which they did but it didn't keep that person from coming back again and again.  Finally, the obnoxiously priced reading.  Needless to say, I have not seen that individual in a very long time now.  I don't mind.😇

[Strength8]

7 hours ago, RunningWild said:

Learning to read one's self takes practice, IMO.  I had to learn to detach from the outcome.  I did that by writing the question out, rephrasing if I needed to for coherence, and doing the reading as if for someone else.  For some time, I kept notes until I didn't need to anymore.

 

Tarot can, and does, answer yes/no questions but tarot is chatty (again, IMO) so you basically get a "yes (or no) but..."

 

Practice, practice, practice.

 

Charging per number of cards?  Eek.  Charging for time?  Yes, which also avoids loads of local laws regarding "psychic readers."  I've only once stated a price for the number of cards coupled with one question and one follow up question.  The price I placed on it was intentionally obnoxious as it was an individual that I and several others had been reading for years for free who disregarded everything said and instead focused on their fantasy.  We also encouraged the individual to learn tarot themselves, which they did but it didn't keep that person from coming back again and again.  Finally, the obnoxiously priced reading.  Needless to say, I have not seen that individual in a very long time now.  I don't mind.😇

I think me not detaching from the outcome is a big obstacle for sure!

I will never read for someone else but yes, practice practice practice is the key to learning, along with asking questions to learn :)

i have seen readers charge per card and yes, it gets costly amd does not always provide guidance or the answer (part of it could be not asking the question in the right way)

 

Edited April 10, 2023 by Strength8