Does Reading Tarot Affect a Good Marriage?

[Tarotnewbie]

Hi all!

 

Apologies for two things. 1. If my question is offensive to any one. 2. I did not know where else to post this question, so posted it here.

 

I am asking with the intention to learn, not questioning anybody's beliefs or anything. so please forgive me for asking this question. Below is the reason why i am asking this question in the first place.

 

So about 6 years ago, I had a tarot reading done. I was immediately intrigued by tarot and wanted to learn it. The lady who read our cards became sort of a friend and so I asked if it would be a good idea for me to learn tarot. For that she said, "why do you want to spoil your nice married life? reading future for others will affect marriages as it incurs bad karma...unless you get a teacher who is happily married, don't learn tarot. I am telling you this because, only people who are in stable relationships know how to overcome that karma and guide you well" . That is why i dropped that idea. I started to learn tarot to look for answers for some issues that are going on in my life... I don't see tarot as something which brings bad omen at all... her words are still stuck in my head... I am not sure if I should read for others ... so my question to you is, in your experience, is what she said even a matter of concern? am i imagining too much?  

 

your thoughts and opinions please.

Edited July 18, 2019 by Tarotnewbie

[DanielJUK]

I think we can class this under tarot superstitions! *if you use it like this, something bad will happen*. You can use it however you want or any way you want, it's a self-help tool in your life. Marriages are all different with different couples, it sounds a very judgemental take about how to have a good marriage, it doesn't define what a "good" one is, I think it's just superstition about bad omens  / bad karma from it.

 

But there is a little caveat here though, it's possible to ruin a relationship I think if you use tarot or any form of divination when you use it wrongly about a relationship. If someone was insecure and kept asking if a relationship will fail or if the other partner will cheat, that is showing not having faith in the partnership. As I have got more experienced with tarot, I think there are some questions and areas of life that if you shouldn't just ask about without thinking carefully about the consequences, you could find out something that you didn't want to know. I remember helping someone interpret a reading on the old tarot forum and they wanted to know how the marriage was going as just a general reading but it basically said one person was having an affair. The really awful thing is they couldn't get the message out of their head after it came up and it affected the relationship negatively but who knows if he was actually cheating or not, you have to be very careful! The seed was planted in their head forever more. So it is possible to bring doubt into your head using tarot or maybe it is telling you the truth but it's a Pandora's box to be careful of! That isn't bad karma though 🙂

Edited July 19, 2019 by DanielJUK

[McFaire]

I agree with @DanielJUK and would add...

 

4 hours ago, Tarotnewbie said:

... reading future for others will affect marriages as it incurs bad karma...

There is a lot you can do with tarot besides "reading future for others." But if you did become involved in predicting the future for others, you should learn about how this might affect your own energy. I don't believe that doing so causes bad karma. But I think it should not be undertaken without training, and a clear understanding what you are doing. Did you mean, reading tarot professionally for a fee, or just for friends/family?

 

 

[Starlight]

Interesting topic! I'd never heard of this superstition before!

 

2 hours ago, McFaire said:

Did you mean, reading tarot professionally for a fee, or just for friends/family?

Is there a difference in the karmic repercussions depending on whether one is reading professionally or just for friends, @McFaire? 

 

I'm not sure I believe there's a chance you'll cause a bad relationship for *yourself* if you read Tarot, but I do agree with @DanielJUK that you can plant seeds in other people's minds about their relationships (or other areas of their lives) and words, once spoken, cannot be unheard.

Edited July 19, 2019 by Starlight

[McFaire]

59 minutes ago, Starlight said:

Is there a difference in the karmic repercussions depending on whether one is reading professionally or just for friends, @McFaire?

I think it's a matter of degree, yes. There's a very interesting thread here along the lines of, how to know you're not ready to go pro. (I definitely am not!)

 

The OP asked specifically about reading someone's future, and when doing that, it's a lot of responsibility because it can really affect their expectations and their beliefs and their outcomes. Yes, it can have an effect on the reader. When doing so professionally, the effect is potentially much greater because the reader is helping a lot of people with a lot of problems. Regularly and frequently. Clients come when they are in trouble and some people are pretty messed up.

 

If reading for troubled people and predicting their futures for a living, I think that is not something to take on lightly.

 

Even reading for a troubled friend once in a while can be draining, but you can avoid making predictions and just help them look at the situation and evaluate, look for advice and understanding. Paying clients usually have different expectations than a casual reading for a friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 19, 2019 by McFaire

[stephanelli]

Hiya, I've moved this thread to Talking Tarot where it is a better fit!

[stephanelli]

What an interesting topic though!

 

I don't think that learning and using tarot is bad for a marriage at all, I am in fact very happily married myself!  I tend to mainly use tarot as a tool for self-exploration and helping me to process things that happen in my life but I also read for others on this forum and select people in real life.

Like others who have replied, There are questions I would never ask the tarot myself though, I know from experience that once a seed of doubt is planted it'll never leave - a reading on my marriage is out of the question.  I have a few areas of life I just don't ask about.  I think that's on of the things about tarot, you have to learn to read the cards (of course) but you also have to learn your own limits. Don't ask a question you're not ready to hear an honest answer for.

[Starlight]

2 hours ago, stephanelli said:

I don't think that learning and using tarot is bad for a marriage at all, I am in fact very happily married myself!  I tend to mainly use tarot as a tool for self-exploration and helping me to process things that happen in my life but I also read for others on this forum and select people in real life.

Ditto! 🙂

I like Benebell Wen's take on karma, as well. Karma isn't about punishment, in the Eastern way of viewing things. Let me see if I can find a link to her video...

 

 

 

I think perhaps it matters how you use Tarot. And that goes for any tool one has at their disposal. If you're looking for power over another, that's a no-no as far as I'm concerned. If you're willfully seeking to cause harm or destruction, that's another no-no. If you are setting yourself up in a role you're not qualified to perform (counsellor, healer, etc.) that's risky, even if your intent is good. (What's that saying? The road to hell is paved with good intentions.) Good intentions are a good start, but they're not sufficient by themselves.

 

4 hours ago, McFaire said:

The OP asked specifically about reading someone's future, and when doing that, it's a lot of responsibility because it can really affect their expectations and their beliefs and their outcomes.

Yes, I agree. It's not something to do complacently. 

 

13 hours ago, Tarotnewbie said:

The lady who read our cards became sort of a friend and so I asked if it would be a good idea for me to learn tarot.

Putting on my cynic's hat for a moment, I wonder if the reader in question offered that "advice" in order to limit the competition she'd have...

[Eric13]

@Tarotnewbie The advice you received was different. Since you remember what the reader said, do you remember what was in the spread by any chance? Were there a lot of Cups and Swords?

 

[spider]

Hello

I am confused.  Do you know if the person who read for you and advised you not to read the cards for others was happily married herself?  I am sure there are many happily married tarot readers, myself included, and also many others who read tarot for others and are desperately unhappy. 

I don't believe that reading the cards for anyone can bring bad karma.  If you are setting out to hurt or control someone then that in itself could bring bad karma.  What goes around come around.  It is not the reading of the cards in itself, it is the evil intent to cause unhappiness to another person.

It is true that reading for others who are often deeply unhappy can be stressful and for that reason, I feel it is good to have someone the reader can offload to.  I talk to my husband if I have been affected by a reading and also a couple of close friends who are counsellors and understand about data protection and privacy.  I never mention the names or personal details of the people I read for.  But if their issues have disturbed me, then I know it is in my interests and those of future sitters, that I get it off my chest.

Hope that makes sense.

[ilweran]

Well, I'm happily married and have been reading tarot since before I met my husband. It doesn't seem to have had any effect, except for an occasional eye roll from him when a lot of parcels arrive in a short amount of time, and he's given up on that now that he gets many more parcels than me for his hobby!

 

Mind you, I don't do fortune telling really.

 

 

[Tarotnewbie]

Wow! so many responses... thank you all for your valuable thoughts and opinions. They all make good sense and help me.

17 hours ago, DanielJUK said:

The really awful thing is they couldn't get the message out of their head after it came up and it affected the relationship negatively but who knows if he was actually cheating or not, you have to be very careful! The seed was planted in their head forever more. So it is possible to bring doubt into your head using tarot or maybe it is telling you the truth but it's a Pandora's box to be careful of! That isn't bad karma though 🙂

I understand this part well. I will be as careful as I can.

17 hours ago, McFaire said:

Did you mean, reading tarot professionally for a fee, or just for friends/family?

 

I want to read tarot just for myself and my husband... if needed only for a couple of friends I consider really close and who will know my limitations well. 

14 hours ago, McFaire said:

Even reading for a troubled friend once in a while can be draining, but you can avoid making predictions and just help them look at the situation and evaluate, look for advice and understanding. Paying clients usually have different expectations than a casual reading for a friend.

I what you said. I don't want to make this as my profession and read for money or anything... I am not even ready to read for more than 5 people in my life.

12 hours ago, stephanelli said:

I think that's on of the things about tarot, you have to learn to read the cards (of course) but you also have to learn your own limits. Don't ask a question you're not ready to hear an honest answer for.

Got it, thanks.

9 hours ago, Starlight said:

I think perhaps it matters how you use Tarot. And that goes for any tool one has at their disposal. If you're looking for power over another, that's a no-no as far as I'm concerned. If you're willfully seeking to cause harm or destruction, that's another no-no. If you are setting yourself up in a role you're not qualified to perform (counsellor, healer, etc.) that's risky, even if your intent is good. (What's that saying? The road to hell is paved with good intentions.) Good intentions are a good start, but they're not sufficient by themselves.

Thanks, this i understand and follow... I can't bring myself to do something like that. Also, I know the eastern philosophy about karma, we literally grow up with these lectures and stories right from childhood.  For us karma is just a consequence of our actions... it can happen immediately or later (like in next lives)... Good or bad is just our perception... but to me getting negative emotions into my married life is consequence of my bad actions.

9 hours ago, Starlight said:

Putting on my cynic's hat for a moment, I wonder if the reader in question offered that "advice" in order to limit the competition she'd have...

Oh! I agree, it crossed my mind as well.

7 hours ago, Joe said:

The advice you received was different. Since you remember what the reader said, do you remember what was in the spread by any chance? Were there a lot of Cups and Swords?

This conversation wasn't a part of my reading. It was a casual talk between the both of us before she read our cards for the second time i think. It also was a online reading.

6 hours ago, spider said:

I am confused.  Do you know if the person who read for you and advised you not to read the cards for others was happily married herself? 

I just know she is married.. don't know here happiness levels.

7 hours ago, spider said:

It is true that reading for others who are often deeply unhappy can be stressful and for that reason, I feel it is good to have someone the reader can offload to. 

Ok, got it. I am very new to reading cards, like 2 months old by now... I just finished the mentor program here. I don't have a whole lot of experience reading cards ... i have just read for myself, husband and my mentor (wanderer) as of now.

4 hours ago, ilweran said:

Well, I'm happily married and have been reading tarot since before I met my husband. It doesn't seem to have had any effect, except for an occasional eye roll from him when a lot of parcels arrive in a short amount of time, and he's given up on that now that he gets many more parcels than me for his hobby!

 

Mind you, I don't do fortune telling really.

great! 

 

From all your responses, i understand that most of you here are happily married and reading cards... It is all about having our intentions straight when doing a reading. Reading cards with compassion and integrity is the bottom line... that is what i infer from what you all are saying so far. Posting this question has certainly helped me... I still need to think more about reading for other people (not professionally) just to help if someone asks. 

[katrinka]

Coming to this a bit late, and I haven't watched Benebell's video yet, but I'm guessing that she explains karma as "cause and effect", rather than the Western (mis)conception some kind of recording angel doling out punishments and rewards. But even assuming that one has to trade away the possibility of a happy married life for the ability to read cards, I see no reason that predicting the future could possibly incur any worse karma than practicing amateur psychology on clients. There is a bit of an ethical line with any form of reading that none of us should deny the existence of.

I have occasionally run into this belief before. One reader, who had terrible luck with relationships, lamented that she'd been "hijacked by the moon goddess." And there are people like Biddy Early to consider. Biddy was a character, though, so it follows that her husbands must have been characters to some extent. And there are other factors to consider, like poteen, lol:  https://www.independent.ie/style/sex-relationships/biddy-early-witch-or-woman-ahead-of-her-time-26683760.html Beyond a certain point, you've left the beaten path that society has sketched out as "appropriate", so rather than having a conventional lifelong marriage with a white picket fence, PTA meetings, and supper on the table promptly at seven, things can take some interesting twists and turns. But very few people have a conventional suburban housewife life these days anyway. There are other factors at play, you can't lay the blame on reading cards.

I've known readers who were happily married, readers who weren't, readers who wanted to be and readers who didn't. I see a similar mix with non-readers.

[McFaire]

On 7/19/2019 at 12:37 PM, Tarotnewbie said:

Reading cards with compassion and integrity is the bottom line... that is what i infer from what you all are saying so far.

Well said 🙂

 

[Decan]

I heard that Rana George made a good marriage; this can be a question of personality too.

 

Otherwise currently -while I don't have any statistics concerning the durability of a marriage- the probability of a divorce is very important for everyone, so "cards or not" at least one divorce is something widespread! I don't want to be a prophet of doom, just realistic.

Edited July 21, 2019 by Decan

[Raggydoll]

I do understand why, in certain circumstances, tarot can be a cause of tension or controversy within a relationship (of any kind).  I have heard many stories about how partners, friends or family members disapprove and sometimes even condemn or shun the person that’s is interested in tarot. The same goes for many other things too, but let’s face it - tarot can be an especially loaded topic for certain people. However, I do not believe that the mere act of reading cards will impact you karma negatively in any way. You can (ab)use any tool in a way so that it is negatively impacting you and others - whether you refer to it as bad karma or not (like how some dishonest people pretend to be good tarot readers while they are really only ripping people off. I don’t think it’s super common but it absolutely happens). I think that tarot cards are neutral and that they hold great potential. I feel that they can strengthen you as a reader and help you figure out yourself and expand your understanding. I do not think it’s a coincidence to see just how accepting and open minded the tarot community is. Very rarely is someone deemed as being too different (or bad or wrong). And I don’t think I have ever met a more diverse group of people, with such humble, kind and generous hearts.    

 

I do not agree that any teacher you chose must be happily married. If you think that only seemingly successful or upbeat people have something to teach you, then you still have a lot to learn. I believe that there is a teacher and a student in every person and in every situation. 

 

As a side note I can mention that me and my husband have been together for 20 years now. The ‘secret’ is that we accept and encourage each other’s passions - tarot included. If he had been unsupportive (in a general sense) then I think our relationship would not have lasted this long. So it’s definitely a personality thing for us. We share similar views and values when it comes to the most important stuff.

 

Like @katrinka I do not pretend do be a counselor and I try very hard to stick with only what I’m seeing in the cards or in my visions. What we say as a reader can stick with a person for many years. It’s a big responsibility and we need to know our limits and boundaries. It’s not okay to coach and counsel someone if you are not trained or licensed to do so. The reason for this is that you can cause or stir up problems that are way beyond your ability to handle. And that is reckless in a way that I’m sure could be seen as a cause of bad karma. 

[gregory]

On 7/19/2019 at 3:34 PM, ilweran said:

Well, I'm happily married and have been reading tarot since before I met my husband. It doesn't seem to have had any effect, except for an occasional eye roll from him when a lot of parcels arrive in a short amount of time, and he's given up on that now that he gets many more parcels than me for his hobby!

 

Mind you, I don't do fortune telling really.

I agree with ilweran here. I was already married when I took to tarot, and he has never minded at all.

On 7/19/2019 at 8:37 PM, Tarotnewbie said:

I want to read tarot just for myself and my husband... if needed only for a couple of friends I consider really close and who will know my limitations well. 

I what you said. I don't want to make this as my profession and read for money or anything... I am not even ready to read for more than 5 people in my life.

 

I won't read for friends or family. I usually have my own view on their situations anyway, and it is very hard - if, for instance,. I know something about it in real life, perhaps even something that they don't know themselves, not to let that colour things. That old one "I saw my friend's husband in a motel with his secretary - should I say anything" situation. And you get cards which show everything is just wonderful, and - can you keep your mouth shut ?

On 7/19/2019 at 8:37 PM, Tarotnewbie said:

Got it, thanks.

Thanks, this i understand and follow... I can't bring myself to do something like that. Also, I know the eastern philosophy about karma, we literally grow up with these lectures and stories right from childhood.  For us karma is just a consequence of our actions... it can happen immediately or later (like in next lives)... Good or bad is just our perception... but to me getting negative emotions into my married life is consequence of my bad actions.

Getting negative emotions in a marriage is almost always down to BOTH people's actions. But I feel sure it is nothing to do with reading tarot. I do know of one broken marriage where both were into it at the start, one partner became opposed and divorce followed. It's hugely variable.

 

On 7/19/2019 at 8:37 PM, Tarotnewbie said:

From all your responses, i understand that most of you here are happily married and reading cards... It is all about having our intentions straight when doing a reading. Reading cards with compassion and integrity is the bottom line... that is what i infer from what you all are saying so far. Posting this question has certainly helped me... I still need to think more about reading for other people (not professionally) just to help if someone asks. 

I seriously don't like to read for anyone I know well - however much they ask. In my life, there is ONE exception to my rule. With her it works. With anyone else I feel uncomfortable.

54 minutes ago, Raggydoll said:

I do understand why, in certain circumstances, tarot can be a cause of tension or controversy within a relationship (of any kind).  I have heard many stories about how partners, friends or family members disapprove and sometimes even condemn or shun the person that’s is interested in tarot. The same goes for many other things too, but let’s face it - tarot can be an especially loaded topic for certain people. However, I do not believe that the mere act of reading cards will impact you karma negatively in any way. You can (ab)use any tool in a way so that it is negatively impacting you and others - whether you refer to it as bad karma or not (like how some dishonest people pretend to be good tarot readers while they are really only ripping people off. I don’t think it’s super common but it absolutely happens). I think that tarot cards are neutral and that they hold great potential. I feel that they can strengthen you as a reader and help you figure out yourself and expand your understanding. I do not think it’s a coincidence to see just how accepting and open minded the tarot community is. Very rarely is someone deemed as being too different (or bad or wrong). And I don’t think I have ever met a more diverse group of people, with such humble, kind and generous hearts.    

 

I do not agree that any teacher you chose must be happily married. If you think that only seemingly successful or upbeat people have something to teach you, then you still have a lot to learn. I believe that there is a teacher and a student in every person and in every situation. 

 

As a side note I can mention that me and my husband have been together for 20 years now. The ‘secret’ is that we accept and encourage each other’s passions - tarot included. If he had been unsupportive (in a general sense) then I think our relationship would not have lasted this long. So it’s definitely a personality thing for us. We share similar views and values when it comes to the most important stuff.

 

Like @katrinka I do not pretend do be a counselor and I try very hard to stick with only what I’m seeing in the cards or in my visions. What we say as a reader can stick with a person for many years. It’s a big responsibility and we need to know our limits and boundaries. It’s not okay to coach and counsel someone if you are not trained or licensed to do so. The reason for this is that you can cause or stir up problems that are way beyond your ability to handle. And that is reckless in a way that I’m sure could be seen as a cause of bad karma. 

I agree with all this. Not least the part about respecting each other's passions. I will never share some of his - but I would never get into a disagreement about them. Mutual respect is part of the foundation of a good marriage, in my book. All the rucks we have had (in well over 50 years now !) have had nothing to do with disrespect of one another - and we have got past all of them.

[ilweran]

3 hours ago, gregory said:

Getting negative emotions in a marriage is almost always down to BOTH people's actions. But I feel sure it is nothing to do with reading tarot. I do know of one broken marriage where both were into it at the start, one partner became opposed and divorce followed. It's hugely variable.

It's about respect. My husband doesn't get tarot, he's not particularly interested in it, but is happy that I'm happy. Just like I don't get football (or cricket) but he does, he enjoys them and that's enough for me. If you don't respect your partner - and actively oppose their interests - it's not a good relationship and is unlikely to work out long term unless an agreement can be reached (and I wouldn't hold out much hope of that happening if someone has decided tarot is evil, for example).

[Tarotnewbie]

10 hours ago, gregory said:

Getting negative emotions in a marriage is almost always down to BOTH people's actions. But I feel sure it is nothing to do with reading tarot. I do know of one broken marriage where both were into it at the start, one partner became opposed and divorce followed. It's hugely variable.

I agree.  

I was talking in context with reading tarot for others, if it had any effect as such... 

 

I am happy to see so many responses and opinions... thanks.

 

I was just trying to understand if whatever was told to me actually had any good reason. Since i started learning tarot, I am seeing how it can be used as a tool for guidance when we are very confused.  Predicting future aside, it can actually guide us in mending our ways now for the future we envision. It helps us change our perspectives and approach sometimes. What all of you have shared here is really valuable information. Thanks for understanding where i was coming from when I asked this question. All your responses makes a lot of sense. 

Edited July 21, 2019 by Tarotnewbie

[Grizabella]

Someone mentioned that maybe the reader just didn't want to have competition. That was my first thought, too. But there are also people who like to be the "gifted one" with the ability to read cards and even if they don't charge for readings, they still like to feel that they're someone more special and gifted.  Some people are also burdened with tarot myths and superstitions they firmly believe in and will caution non-readers about those or about not learning tarot for this or that reason.  

 

In reality, most people have some psychic ability and could read the cards well themselves.  My personal belief is that everyone has the ability to do what we do, but they just choose not to for a lack of interest or fear because they've heard evil things about "the occult". The word occult just means "unknown", but it's gotten the reputation of being something vile and satanic thanks to movies and other media as well as some Christians.  

 

Oh, coming back to add that I've been a widow and not in any other relationships for 20 years now.  I do sometimes sleep around with my decks and they don't seem to mind but I don't recommend that because it can bend your cards. 

 

When my husband was alive, we were quite considerate of each other's interests and he wouldn't have any qualms about me reading cards or anything else I've had an interest in.

 

 

Edited August 3, 2019 by Grizabella
hit enter too soon

[Eric13]

To build on what @Grizabella said, we  are all born without judgement and life starts to take things away from us. Tarot and a good reader helps bring all that back. 

[Tiggy-cat]

I haven't read through all the responses yet, BUT if a marriage is already good, you should A) trust your partner more than you trust your cards and B) not feel the need to ask your cards if your partner is cheating.

Edited August 10, 2019 by Tiggy-cat
Typo

[chongjasmine]

I don't think reading tarot will affect a marriage at all.